Authors: Bria Starr
Wren.
I’m in love with Wren.
When we eventually get to the bottom of the hill, after she had fallen five more times, I ask her if she’s hungry.
“Yes, I’m starving.”
After lining up our boards, we go into the cafeteria and order pizza, XXXrench fries, water, and hot chocolate. She tries to sneak ahead and pay, but I won’t let her. She can grumble about it all she wants. I bring our tray over to the table, and we sit down.
“My legs are killing me,” she says.
“Just wait until tomorrow. Your whole body is going to ache. You’re using muscles you’re not used to using.”
“Thanks for the heads up. I have much to look forward to,” she says sarcastically.
We devour our food and Wren sips longingly on her cocoa, letting it warm her cold fingers. I wonder if she knows I’m in love with her? And does she love me in return?
“Wanna head back out?”
“Yup,” she says, standing up. Wincing, she groans. “Oh, my legs. I sat too long.”
“Let’s go down a couple more and then we’ll go.” She nods and we head back up.
She gets better every time we go down, and it’s now dark out but she wants to keep going. At closing time, we go in and return her boots. As she’s taking them off, I run over and grab two more hot chocolates.
“Oh, you’re a lifesaver,” she says, taking one of them from my hands. Beat up and most likely bruised, she trudges through the snow next to me all the way back to the truck. I help her in
, and she gladly accepts my help this time. Stubborn woman. She almost immediately falls asleep and sleeps the entire way home. She still doesn’t stir as I pull into my driveway and put it in park, so I go around to her side and carefully lift her out and hold her in my arms. She wakes up when I open the front door and gently set her down.
“My legs...”
I smile and pick her back up, bringing her inside to my room and laying her on the bed. “Want me to run you a bath? It’ll probably help loosen up your joints.”
“I don’t want to move.”
“Well, you can’t sleep in that. I’ll be right back.”
I run the water making sure it wasn’t too hot, add some Epsom salt, and go back into the room. I take her winter boots off, and then her snow-pants that she hadn’t yet removed. She sits up
, and I pull her sweatshirt over her head and then remove her long-johns. She allows me to undress her until she’s in her bra and panties. Even though I’ve seen her naked before, I’m slightly uncomfortable undressing her right now, and I’m even more surprised she’s letting me. Maybe she hit her head harder than I thought. I pick her up and carry her to the bath.
“I’m so exhausted, I can barely move.”
“You got pretty beat up today. You took some nasty falls.”
“I’m so embarrassed. You’re undressing me because I can’t even take my own socks off.”
Play it off. “Wren, this isn’t the first time I’ve seen you naked, and I’m pretty sure it won’t be the last.”
She opens her mouth in a feeble attempt to look shocked and disgusted, but her smile overtakes it. I unhook her bra, letting it fall to the ground, then remove her panties. I help her into the tub, and grab a washcloth to start washing her back. I grab my shampoo bottle and lightly lather her scalp.
“That feels sooo good,” she moans. I rinse her hair and hold out a towel for her to climb into. “Want me to brush your hair?”
“If you want to. I’m sure it’s a snarled mess.”
“I don’t mind.” She sits on the tile at the end of the tub in the oversized towel, and I brush her hair. I start at the top and work my way gently to the bottom.
“Have you ever done this before? Brushed a girl’s hair?”
“No, I can’t say that I have. Not even my sisters’.
“Well, thank you. For doing all this for me.”
“You’re welcome. I don’t mind a bit.
After her hair is neatly brushed out, I bring her into my room and help put one of my t-shirts over her head. I lead her over to my bed and she crawls inside, closing her eyes. Leaning down, I kiss her forehead; my favorite spot.
“Thank you for today, Wren. You are so amazing.” She doesn’t answer, so I assume she’s fast asleep.
I grab her clothes, throwing them in the washer before hopping into the shower myself. I make sure they’re out of the dryer and laid out for her before I call it a night.
I look down at Wren asleep in
my
t-shirt in
my
bed. Yeah, I could do this for a long time. I crawl into bed and cuddle up behind her, holding on for dear life, not knowing what turn of events will happen in the morning.
I wake up with Logan’s arm and leg both over my body.
I’m scared to move my aching body, so I turn slightly, moving my legs a little before shooting pains go straight down to my toes. Just as I thought; they’re as bad as they were last night if not worse. I’m completely stiff.
My mind is a mess now. Not that there’s been a time recently where it wasn’t. I don’t know what Logan wants with me.
I don’t know why he asked me out on a date, and honestly, I don’t know why I accepted. I think a lot had to do with the fact that he almost died from alcohol poisoning. I was bitched out by both Cassidy and Jen for agreeing to go, and my mom certainly wasn’t happy about it either.
Yesterday was the first actual date I’ve ever been on. Alec and I never went anywhere, and he never paid for a thing. Logan and I never went anywhere either. Don’t people go out on dates anymore?
I feel him stir behind me and then I hear his gruff morning voice. “Morning.”
“Morning, Logan.”
He tightens his grip on me, and I moan.
“I’m sorry. Does that hurt? I forgot you took some tumbles.”
“Some? I don’t think I can move.”
“Good. Then you can stay with me today.”
I shake my head. “No, I can’t. I have to go home.”
I still don’t know what this is. Even if he finally showed up for a date, and even though we had that intimate moment in the bath last night, I still don’t feel the same way about him that I used to. I’m okay with going home. I’m okay with this. The date didn’t help much for moving on, but it didn’t deter me much either. I’m finally okay.
“Well, I’m not going to force you. Just know I want you to stay. You can lay on the couch or in bed all day, and I’ll cater to your needs.”
“Oh really? And what’s in it for you?” I teasingly ask.
“Just getting to spend some time with you.”
“Logan, you
’ve had ample time to spend with me whenever you wanted, and you never did.”
He hesitates. I can feel his heart rate start to quicken a little. “I feel like it now, I guess.”
“Well, that’s not really good enough.” I sit up slowly and slide my legs over the side of the bed. “I really had fun yesterday, and thank you for taking care of me last night. I think you went above and beyond for me, but I can’t stay here with you today. I’m sorry. I don’t want to start getting confused again. About anything.”
“What’s there to be confused about? Why would you agree to go out on a date with me then?”
“I guess I just wanted to make sure you were all right. I’m not expecting anything from you. I haven’t for a while now. I’m okay with that. And I’m just fine with being your friend. I promise.”
I stand up in the cold room and walk away from his warm hold and bed, looking around for my clothes. I spot them set out on top of his dresser, and pull on my jeans as Logan gets out of bed. I watch him putting my snow stuff into my bag, but he doesn’t say anything; he looks discouraged.
After my stuff is packed, I walk down to the front door. He takes me into his arms and holds me for a very long time before kissing me on the forehead softly and letting me go.
I walk outside and climb through the snow to my car. On the careful drive home, I tell myself that I really need to stop seeing him, even just as friends. I don’t want to go back to where I mentally
was with him.
I won’t let
it happen.
Cassidy is waiting for me when I get home.
“So?”
“Don’t worry. I didn’t sleep with him.” Well, technically I did. And he gave me a bath. That’s something I’m going to think about ten years from now and drop my head and shake it in embarrassment.
“Did you have fun?”
“It was fun, yes, but I crashed repeatedly and it hurts to walk. I’m as stiff as a board.”
“Try taking a nice hot bath.” I think I’ll pass.
“I’m just going to go hang out in my room and read.”
“You’re okay?” she asks.
“I’m okay.”
“I’m glad. Jack’s having a party at his house tonight. Do you want to come with me?”
“What time is it at?”
“I think seven.”
“Yeah I’ll come.” After I take a bottle of aspirin. Oofta.
Logan will more than likely be there. Oh and Holly and Kate too, I’m sure. How fun.
***
**
I’ve never been to Jack’s house before, and something tells me I’ll never be coming here again. We park on the curb along the street in front of Jack’s. It’s your typical cookie cutter house in a neighborhood in Westmont.
I don’t see either Holly or Kate, but there are a couple of other groupies making their way from guy to guy until they find the one they want to hang on for the night. That’s when I spot Aaron in the kitchen with one of them glued to his side. We make eye contact, and I give a small smile and wave. We haven’t really talked much since the concert, it just kind of faded away when I realized he wasn’t the one, but he smiles and waves back.
Cassidy grabs a drink and we go downstairs. Jack and Logan are down here shooting pool and throwing darts with a few other people. This is a bachelor pad if I’ve ever seen one. He even has an old school pinball machine.
Logan sees me and approaches me instantly, asking if I want anything to drink. Cassidy rolls her eyes and wanders off towards Jack.
“Sure,” I say.
“Be right back.”
He comes back with a Red Bull and hands it to me. “Thank you, Logan,” I say, taking a drink.
“I brought some for you. Jack told me Cassidy mentioned you were coming tonight, so when I was at the liquor store I thought I’d pick some up for you. I know how much you like them.”
“That was very thoughtful of you.” I didn’t think he had it in him.
He smiles at me but looks nervous. “Want to play some darts?”
“No, thanks
, but I’ll cheer you on?” Not that he needs it. Logan is extremely omnicompetent. He’s just one of those people who are naturally good at everything they do.
Win after win
, Logan rules the dartboard. After that, the pool table and eventually pinball. He keeps close by me all night, asking me if I want anything. I wonder if he’s doing it because he doesn’t want anyone else hitting on me. I don’t know what his deal is. Part of me likes the attention from him, and the other part is irritated. Fortunately it’s not too much, and he doesn’t overdo it.
After several hours, most of the people have left and the rest of us are all hanging out in Jack’s living room, lying on the floor and couches, listening to music. Logan and I are both sprawled out on the floor. We each take turns playing some of our favorite songs on his computer for everyone else to enjoy. Besides Cassidy, her music has been banned. It sounds boring, but this is my kind of party. I love hearing new songs that I’ve never been introduced to before. Some of my favorite songs and bands happen to be from a random person saying, “Hey, listen to this.” And I love sharing my own favorite songs in hopes that it’ll catch someone’s fancy
, and they’ll feel the same way I do about it.
We stay up until the early hours of the morning. I switch from Red Bull to water and sneak a few aspirin here and there for my aches and pains. I can feel my eyelids getting heavy as the sun starts to
rise. Logan nudges me. “You might as well as stay here and get some sleep.”
“I don’t want to stay here,” I say as I watch Cassidy follow Jack into his room. “Never mind. I guess I have to. I’m too late.” That sucks.
“Come on, there’s an extra bed downstairs. It’s where I always crash when I stay here.”
“Where are you going to sleep?” I ask, half joking, half serious.
He laughs. “Where do you think?” Damn you Logan. I need to stay away from you.
We get downstairs
, and Logan leads me to the extra room around the corner. I’m so tired I crawl right into the cold bed, fully clothed, and Logan crawls in with me. He scoots up behind me, and we snuggle until we’re warmed up. Now wide awake, we start talking about anything and everything just like old times. It’s so easy with him. I can feel the attraction flowing between us, but as much as I long for it, I’m still on guard.
Eventually, the conversation ends
,an
d
we stare at the ceiling in peaceful silence for a long time.
“I miss you.”
My heart stops as my eyes slowly wander to the side to look at him. “Logan, don’t say that. You can’t say that to me,” I say, shaking my head.