Zombie Lover (18 page)

"Third question," Apop said. "Is the Adult Conspiracy worthwhile?"

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"Brother," she muttered. "Am I ever going to flunk this one!" Then she faced the skeleton. "No. it's worthless. It's stupid, pointless, inconsistent nonsense. It exists only to browbeat children."

Her clothing tightened so much that her blouse pulled out of her waistband and threatened to uncover her bra, and her skirt was trying to expose her panties. It was really trying to embarrass her.

She laughed, almost hysterically. "1 just caught on! These are embarrassing questions. Em-bare-ass-ing. I should have known there'd be a dirty pun in this."

"You may have to stop opposing the Adult Conspiracy, "Justin said. "It can be vicious "

"Damn it!" she cried aloud. "This is too much! I'm not going to lie and say the Adult Conspiracy is good. It's a cheat and a shame. and it should be abolished. And that's the way 1 truly feel. And I don't care if my knickers twist right off my little black mule. I mean ass. So there!"

Now her blouse shrank to the size of a handkerchief, and her skirt almost disappeared. The magic was calling her bluff. She stood there in awful squeezed exposure.

"I don't care! I don't care! What you want me to say is wrong, and I am not going to say it. And now that I think of it, why the hell should I even be embarrassed by a bare ass? What is wrong with the human body the way God made it? Only a bigot would think it's obscene." She ripped off the rest of her clothing, which was painfully tight, and stood naked. "I have been catering to that stupid Conspiracy, and it's time to stop. I renounce it. If that means I flunk this stupid test, well that's tough, because I think I'm on the side of the angels. So there."

"Well spoken1" Justin said. "/ never had the courage to say that " "Well,
 
someone had to. Even if — "
 
She stopped.
 
"My feet! They're unstuck!"

"And the skeleton is departing You did not fail the test, you passed it By asserting your true belief, instead of allowing the bigotry of others to govern you "

"Gee, I guess I did," she agreed, bemused. "So I guess we got through the second challenge. Just when I thought it was lost."

Not wasting the moment, Breanna marched on to the drawbridge. half expecting it to rise just before she got there. But it didn't, so she

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set a cautious foot on it. and when it didn't turn out to be illusion or worse, she walked on across the moat.

There was a space between the moat and the castle wall, and in this space were several large hoops with what looked liked two puffs of cotton tied to them on either side near the top, and three strings with three colored beads and three brightly colored feathers on each. Nine beaded straps reached inward to support a leather disk that filled most of the interior. The whole was hung by another beaded strap.

"What are those things9' Justin asked.

"I don't know. They look somehow familiar, but I can't quite place them. It's almost as if I've seen something like them in Mundania, but I can't think where. I suppose they could be a modern art exhibit."

"/ doubt that they are mere decorations Could they be a challenge^"

Breanna considered. "In a vague way, they remind me of spider webs. But there are no spiders on them, so I don't think they are traps. Just to be sure, I won't touch them; I'll walk around them." She proceeded to do that.

Inside the ring of hoops, she turned. "So that was no sweat. What next?"

"/ don't know," Justin said. "There doesn't seem to be much point to this excursion I doubt it's worth the effort"

"You're right," she agreed, surprised. "Why am I going to all this effort to see the Good Magician anyway? It isn't as if I have anything to make of my life."

"Oh, I thought you wanted to be all that you could be, and abolish the Adult Conspiracy "

"Why?"

"Because it's stupid, pointless, inconsistent nonsense?"

"Well, sure, but someone else can tackle it. I have no ambition."

"/ don't care much about having an adventure, either Maybe we should just leave off and forget about foolish dreams '

"Yeah." She walked back to the drawbridge and started to cross.

"Wait, "Justin said. "Not that I care, but I wonder if there isn't something wrong here How is it that we both had such high ambitions a moment ago, and now don't9"

"We just came to our senses, is all."

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"Maybe, but I'm not satisfied with that I distrust sudden changes, maybe because they can be bad for foliage We ought at least to understand the change What led us to our sudden revelations of pointlessness9"

"Dreams are foolish," she said. "They just lead to mischief. So sensible folk ignore them and get on with life. Not that there's much point to that, either."

"/ agree Still, I notice a change in you You were full of fire and verve, and now you seem, if you will pardon the expression, mundane "

"Well, I'm an immigrant from Mundama."

"Breanna, I am still not satisfied You were a pleasure to associate with, and now it doesn't seem to matter"

"Well, so were you, and now you're just a vegetable."

"We were two interesting folk, and now we're dull"

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*>

So?

"Doesn't that bother you9"

"Why should it?"

"/ don't know, but somehow I feel it should "

"Well, let's go home and forget it." She reached the far end of the drawbridge.

Still, he seemed to lag. "Where's Mare Imbn9"

"She must be here, because we're still connected."

"Wo, she finally connected us directly, so that she wouldn't have to mediate every exchange She was trotting along in case we needed other assistance She didn't say she had to leave "

"That's right." Breanna looked around. "Imbn! Where are you?"

There was no answer.

"This bothers me increasingly," Justm said. "Do you suppose something untoward happened to her9"

"I don't care if its toward or away, this makes me nervous." Breanna turned and walked back across the drawbridge. "Maybe she got lost."

"That's impossible She knows all of Xanth "

She spied the circle of disks again. Something clicked. "Uh-oh."

"What is it9"

"Now I remember where I have seen such things before. They're dream catchers."

"Dream catchers9'

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"Native Americans made them to catch bad dreams, so folk could sleep in peace."

"Imbn used to be a night mare1"

"That's my thought. If she went near one of those things—"

"We must find her "

"Yes." Breanna went from one disk to another, looking closely at each. Soon she found her: caught in the middle of the hoop, four feet, head, and tail bound to the rim. "Imbri!"

But the mare was silent. She struggled to turn her head, but even this was difficult. She was fairly bound, physically and mentally.

"When she was caught, we lost our dreams," Justm said, working it out. "We must free her"

"For sure." Breanna reached out to untie a knot. But her hands passed right through it. In fact the whole dream catcher was illusion, for her. But not for Mare Imbrium.

"/ think we have discovered the third challenge," Justin said gravely. ' It is to recover our dreams "

"Right on. But I can't touch either the dream catcher or Imbri. What do we do?"

"The prior challenge was mostly yours," Justin said thoughtfully. "/ suspect this one is mine, because I am the immaterial person here I must find a way "

"Well, do it quickly, because Imbri looks uncomfortable." Indeed it made Breanna hurt to see the discomfort of the mare. She had never liked to see animals mistreated, particularly horses, and Imbri was the best horse of all. It was also weird to realize that Breanna's own ambition had been driven by her dreams, and that when Imbri had been caught, Breanna's life, and Justin's too, had lost their point. So they had personal reason to rescue the mare, apart from basic decency. It seemed that all dreams had been caught, hers and Justin's, and if they freed Imbri they would know how to free all the dreams. But regardless. Imbri had to be saved.

"/ think I need to know more about dream catchers," Justin said. "You say they are made by mundane natives9"

"Native Americans; that's not quite the same. I don't think they're really mundane."

"This is a type of magic I haven't seen before Could one of those folk have come from Mundama9'

"Sure, why not? I did."

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"And if he found himself in a strange land he might seek the advice of the Good Magician, and be required to undertake a year's service Which could take the form of making big dream catchers to protect the castle from night mares '

"It works for me."

"Do those things need any kind of maintenance9"

Breanna pondered. "I don't know, but 1 don't think so. I think they are made once, then hung up and they just keep on working. But I really don't know much about them. I always thought they were superstition."

"Could it be that they didn't work well in Mundania, because they grew old and were not restored to optimum power9"

"Could be."

"So that perhaps these must be serviced every day or so, to be at full strength "

"Sure, why not. But what's your point?"

"Maybe we could rescue Imbn when the maker comes to refurbish the dream catchers Each one must be deactivated for a time so he can work on it"

"Maybe," Breanna agreed doubtfully. "But I'm not sure how we can—"

"/ wonder whether dreams are impossible for us, at present9"

"I can still dream," Breanna said sharply. "I just don't want to."

"Here is what may do it If we can craft a dream of our own, we may be able to use it to free Imbn "

"How can we do that?"

"If we can dream that a day or more has passed, the one who services the dream catchers may think that it is time to go over them already. When he works on this one, we can rescue Imbn You must hide, of course, so he doesn't see you and realize what we are doing "

Breanna was doubtful, but had no better idea herself, so went along with it. They found a nook or a cranny in the wall, and she scrunched down pretty much out of sight. She concentrated, and with Justin's help imagined that the day was passing, and night falling, and day coming again. She got into it, and soon it seemed that time really was passing swiftly. She tried to imagine that it was happening to the whole castle.