Zombie Lover (20 page)

Read Zombie Lover Online

Authors: Piers Anthony

Tags: #Fiction, #Fantasy, #General, #Historical, #Xanth (Imaginary place)

 

Sandy considered for a moment and a half. "Yes, I suppose that's right. The first thing you should do is get your color right, because anyone can see you're not green."

 

It was true. They were the only un-green things in view. "How do we do that?" Dor asked.

 

"Wash yourselves with some green water, of course."

 

So the three of them stepped around the sand trap and knelt by the lake. They scooped out handfuls of green water and spread it on themselves. When that wasn't very effective, they simply waded into the lake, and came out green.

 

Green bubbles formed and rose to the surface around them. As each got there, it popped. "Who are you?" one asked. "Why are you here?" another asked. "Where are you going?" a third one asked.

 

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"Ignore them," Sandy said. "They are just pop quizzes."

 

Bink emerged from the water and spied a green mint plant. He was about to pick a mint to eat when Sandy spoke again. "Don't. That's a govern mint. If you eat of its fruit, you will have so swear allegiance to it."

 

"This is a dangerous place," Bink remarked as the other two came out of the water.

 

"Now we can ask the ants," Sandy said. "They get around a lot." He peered down with his somewhat fuzzy eyes. "There are some, but we don't want to ask them."

 

"Why not?" Dolph asked impatiently. "You can translate what they say."

 

"It won't work," Sandy said.

 

But Dolph got down so he could spy the ants. "Hey, you!" he said to the nearest. "Have you seen a foreigner pass?"

 

The ant waved its antennae. "He says far pastures are always greenest," Sandy translated.

 

"But that's not relevant."

 

"Exactly. It's an irrelev ant."

 

Oh. So Dolph focused on the next ant. "Foreigner?" The ant waved its feelers.

 

"Native," Sandy translated.

 

"Native?"

 

"Foreigner," Sandy said. "That's an ant-onym. It always says the opposite of what it hears."

 

Dolph was getting impatient again. He spied a third ant. He opened his mouth.

 

"I wouldn't," Sandy warned.

 

Dolph paused. "Why not?"

 

"That's an ench ant. It will enchant you if you let it."

 

Another ant glowed brightly. "What about this one?" he asked.

 

"That's a brilli ant. It is very bright, but won't speak to those it deems dull, which is everyone else."

 

' Then what kind of ant will do?'' Dolph asked, beginning to think about becoming annoyed.

 

"A reli ant. Maybe several reli ants. You can depend on them. But I don't see any of those here."

 

Dolph decided to give up on this approach. "I'm going to change form and look around myself." he said.

 

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"Take us with you,'" Bink suggested.

 

So Dolph became a green roc, and they got on his feet.

 

"That's impressive magic," Sandy remarked.

 

"Squawk."

 

"Thank you," Dor translated. "And thank you for your help. We

 

are going now."

 

Sandy nodded and waved. As Dolph took off, he saw the sand man settling back into his comfortable sand trap. He had indeed been helpful, and had earned his extra size.

 

He also saw a stir of motion, as if something were nearby, perhaps following them. But he kept his beak shut, because probably it was just his imagination. In any event, they would soon leave it far

 

behind.

 

Dolph rose high enough to get a good view of the surrounding landscape—and in a moment he saw a glow. He circled down. Sure enough, there was a trail of footprints. They led up to the edge of the green land and crossed over the sharp bend.

 

But when he tried to fly across that boundary, he suddenly went out of control. He found himself tilting at an awkward angle.

 

"Get back over the green!" Dor cried.

 

Dolph, gyrating wildly, managed to cross back, more by chance than design. Then he straightened out and was flying level again. "Squawk?" he demanded.

 

"I'm not sure what happened," Dor said. "Maybe we had better land, and I can ask something inanimate."

 

So Dolph located a landing field similar to the first, complete with a lake and sand pit. The lake went right up to the boundary, where it made a sharp angled turn and became level blue water on the other

 

side.

 

"I don't want to lose any more mass than I have to," Dor said. 'Til see if I can make a deal, fair exchange."

 

"What would sand want?" Bink asked, bemused. "Apart from more mass?"

 

Dolph changed back into manform. He saw that the sand was laid out in two colors, with bands of very light green on the edges, and a band of dark green in the center

 

Dor approached the sand. "Hello," he said, not stepping in it.

 

"Hello," it responded. "What do you want?"

 

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"I need some information. Do you need anything?"

 

The sand heaved and humped and formed into a person-like figure. A female one, with a light clothing and dark body. She wore a conical hat and high-heeled shoes. "How about a man?" she asked, and cackled.

 

She was a sand witch!

 

"I know where a nice sandman is," Dor said. "His name is Sandy. I don't know whether he has romance in mind."

 

She cackled again. "He won't have a choice. Just tell me where."

 

"In exchange for some information we need," Dor said. "So nobody changes size."

 

"Done."

 

"He is by a small lake in that direction," Dor said, pointing carefully. "We flew the distance in an instant, but it might take an hour by foot."

 

"I'll find it. What do you want to know?"

 

"How to cross over to the blue side without losing our balance."

 

"You want to orient for Blue?"

 

"Yes, I think that's what we want to do."

 

"The lings can help you," the sand witch said. "They can do change magic. They make the impossible possible. But it will cost you some size."

 

The three men exchanged glances. Then Dor nodded. "We'll have to pay it. Where can we find these lings?"

 

"I will summon them." She faced toward the edge, put two fingers to her mouth and made a sandy whistle. "Hey, Bluelings!"

 

In a moment there was a scurrying and chirping, and a swarm of squirrel-like creatures that ran on two legs. They lined up and peered over the edge.

 

"Make your deal," the witch said, and set off in the direction Dor had indicated. She had an interesting stride, with sand shifting forward to form a new leg while the trailing leg diminished.

 

"We want to turn blue and stand straight on the blue side," Dor said. "Can you do that for us?"

 

The lings seemed to understand. They chirruped excitedly.

 

"Deal," Dor said. He walked up to the edge and stepped over. As he did so, he turned blue and tilted at right angles to the new plane. He also grew another size smaller.

 

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Bink crossed over, and changed similarly. This time Dolph saw that the lings nearest him became slightly larger.

 

Then Dolph crossed. As he did so, he felt that same imbalance. His body was almost horizontal to the blue landscape, and he couldn't seem to right it. Then he saw his hands turn blue before him, and he straightened out and became vertical. He also felt himself shrink a size. The lings had done it, for the usual payment.

 

But Dolph was curious, so he tried to step back to the green side. Now his body oriented almost horizontal again, making it impossible for him to walk. It was clear that a blue side person could not make it on the green side, and vice versa. So they probably didn't mix much. Such were the rules of the magic of Pyramid.

 

He crawled back to the blue side in time to see the lings running away. They had done their job and had their payment. It was a fair deal. This was a fair world, just awfully different.

 

He changed back into roc form, and the others sat on his feet. He ascended, this time having no difficulty, and circled to pick up the trail of footprints. He was careful not to try to cross the boundary between faces. This side was all in shades of blue, of course. Soon he spied the prints, and followed them.

 

They led past blue hill and dale, through blue forest and field, by blue mountain and lake, until they led to a blue isle with a bluestone ridge, up to a blue house.

 

The blue door opened, and Princess Ida came out to meet them. She looked to be forty, the same age as the one on Ptero. But the moon that circled her head was a different shape. This one looked like a little doughnut.

 

"You must also be visitors to this realm," she said.

 

"We are,1' Dor said. "I am King Dor, from Xanth. This is my father Bink, and my son Dolph."

 

"Are you sure they aren't both sons?"

 

Bink smiled. "I was recently youthened from age eighty one to twenty one."

 

"Oh, then perhaps you know Jonathan, who passed by here a few

 

hours ago."

 

"Yes, we call him the Zombie Master," Dor said. "We are looking for him. We have been following his trail."

 

"I can help you find him. But there is a complication."

 

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"Who cares?" the blue pavement asked.

 

"That's my talent," Dor said quickly. "To converse with the inanimate. Sometimes it speaks without being asked."

 

"Oh. That's certainly interesting magic." She did not seem entirely thrilled.

 

"Dawn and Eve told us that the magic on each world is different. On this one the person who does a favor gains size."

 

"Yes. I thought you should understand that, before you accepted any favor."

 

"So let's exchange favors," Dolph said. "What can we do for you?"

 

"What I want most is information about the other worlds. I now have freedom of this world, or at least the blue face, since the nice faun and mare abolished the evil Blue Wizard, but in the process I have learned that there is an enormous amount I don't know."

 

"We can tell you all about Xanth," Dolph said.

 

"But we need to travel on, to catch up with the Zombie Master," Dor said.

 

"Perhaps if you can tell me how those delightful twin girls are doing."

 

"They're both eighteen, and very pretty," Dolph said.

 

"Well, yes. I believe they will be that age as long as they remain in the place they are. Did they manage to solve the faun's problem?"

 

"Faun?" Dolph asked, perplexed. She had mentioned a faun before.

 

"Last year Forrest Faun passed by here, with Mare Imbrium and the twin girls. I think they were taking rather a shine to him."

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