Zombie Lover (40 page)

"I guess." But she was dissatisfied. "Justin, 1 know you have had enough of teenage girls by now."

'As if there could ever be enough of them "

"Do you think maybe—I mean, if you don't have something better to do—you could maybe, sort of, well, stay around a little longer? Of course you don't have to—"

' / do not wish to impose, Breanna I fear my presence limits your lifestyle You have given me a fine adventure, and I can't complain "

'T wish you'd stay." She felt his surprise.

"You are not merely being polite9 The Good Magician did say a year, or until we mutually agreed to end it, but of course I would not hold you to such a term "

"I'm being more like desperate. I think I don't want to go back to nothingness just yet, and that's what it'll be. But maybe I could sort of hang around with the three kings a while longer, and that's bound to be interesting. But I don't really know them, and you do, so if you could tell me what to do—"

"/ would be glad to, Breanna I am gratified that you are not yet tired of my presence "

"I'm not tired of it! I couldn't've made it without you."

1 / thank you for that sentiment"

They walked to the dock. There was the duck-footed boat. "Will you take us back to the mainland?" Dor asked it.

"Sure, when the women say it's okay. When the Isle interfaces

again."

"But that won't be until tomorrow," Breanna protested.

"No, that's the automatic cycle. The women can change it when they want to. to let an impatient prince in, or to take a married one out with his bride. We can go when Voracia says it's okay. She should be along in due course."

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"That's great," Breanna said, though she was speaking more for the kings than for herself. This did not seem like a bad isle, now that she had settled with Xeth.

They sat down to wait for Voracia. And while they rested, they exchanged stories. Justin's surmise turned out to be correct: the women had pulled a dastardly stunt, and only some good breaks and good thinking had gotten them out of it. Exactly as it had been for Breanna herself.

Voracia came down the path. "We're setting up the interface," she told the boat. 'Take them back to Xanth." She glanced at Tipsy. "You're going too?"

"Yes. They think there's a man for me."

"Good for you. We've got dream princes galore. Davina and Fiona confirmed it, and will show us the way there."

They got into the boat, and it paddled across the pond and ran up onto the path on the other side. They were on their way.

They reached the shore, and the boat splashed into the sea. There was Xanth, as she gathered it had not been until the women set up the interface.

"Now may be a propitious time to raise the matter Oh. Yes. "Uh, you said you would take me home." "Yes, of course." King Dor said.

"Could you maybe wait on that? I mean, I'm grateful, but I'd sort of like to stick around with you a while, if that's not too much trouble."

King Dor glanced at the others, who nodded. "Certainly, Breanna. You have been of real help to us, and we appreciate it. We suspect that our own adventure, such as it has been, is about done, but you will be welcome to remain with us until it ends."

"Gee, thanks." She stifled a tear; she really appreciated their generosity. They were all good men, as well as being kings, unlike that bad Ralph.

They reached the other dock and disembarked. There were a few zombies wandering desolately around. "Oops, there's something I should do," Breanna said.

"We can keep you from the zombies," Prince Dolph said. "We'll simply fly away from them."

"No, I'm tired of running from problems." Breanna walked boldly

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up to the nearest zombie. "Hello. I'm Breanna, the one you've been chasing. But you can go home now, because your King Xeth has found love with Zyzzyva Zombie instead, and will marry her. They'll be returning here in a day or two, I think. Do you understand?"

The zombie seemed surprised. "Underzdand," he repeated after a suitable pause for cogitation.

"Good enough. You stay here to welcome them when they come." Then she extended her hand.

After
 
another pause,
 
the
 
zombie extended
 
his
 
hand.
 
Breanna grasped it firmly and shook it, not hard. It felt somewhat slimy, but she gave no sign of disgust. She had conquered her fear of zombies. "Good for you, Breanna!"

Then she returned to the kings. "Okay, that's done." Dor was talking with the duck-footed boat. He looked up as Breanna returned. "We have made a deal. It will be days before Para needs to service the Isle of Women, because their interest is now on dreams. Voracia will call if the boat is needed sooner. So we will exchange conveyances."

"So the boat is Para, with the two docks," Justin remarked appreciatively. "There can be more meanings in a name than one expects." "Yeah, every time you figure you know something, there's more

you don't know."

"I don't understand," Tipsy said. "1 thought that man was near

here."

"No, he's some distance south," Bink said. "But we feel there is one thing you need before you meet him. So we shall fetch it now."

"I don't mean to be any trouble," Tipsy said.

"They don't consider it trouble," Breanna said.

"They're nice people." She had come to know the troll-woman somewhat while they waited to cross back to Xanth, and knew she was warm-hearted. "You helped them; they're helping you."

King Dor, Bink, Tipsy and Breanna got into the boat again. Prince Dolph changed into a roc bird. He caught up the boat in his huge talons, spread his wings, and took off. Breanna saw that it was definitely easier to be carried in the boat than it would have been to be clutched by bare claws.

"Wheee!" the boat exclaimed, wiggling its feet. "I've been on land and sea, but never in air before."

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"Me too," Breanna agreed, peering down as the land fell below. "And me," Tipsy said, looking down the other side. "It looks just like a map."

"We're going to Mt. Rushmost," Bink explained. "For some lip bomb."

"A bomb!"

"You put it on your lips, and when you kiss a man. it just about knocks him out, in a pleasant way. We think that with that, you will be able to make an impression on Phil Istine."

Tipsy looked at Breanna. Breanna shrugged. "I haven't encountered this."

"/ have. Long ago. It is a good ploy."

"But Justin says it's good," Breanna said.

Soon they came to a towering mountain. Dolph-roc glided to a landing at the edge of its upper plateau. He set the boat down, changed to manform, and jumped in as the duck feet got moving.

"We are looking for Karla, Sharon, or Chea Centaur," Dor said. "Or Serena girl."

"Go that way," the ground said, its voice moving in a particular direction.

They went that way, and came to an early evening fire where three winged monsters congregated. All of them were centaurs, and female.

"What, are you men back again for more punishment?" one of the centaur fillies demanded.

"I'm not a man, and neither is Tipsy Troll," Breanna said before it occurred to her that silence might be better.

"You're not winged, either," the centaur said disapprovingly.

"Karla, we come to ask another favor," King Dor said quickly. "We'd like to get some lip bomb for Tipsy."

The centaurs considered. "What use would a troll have for that?"

"She did us a favor, and now we want to help her get married. She's a good person. We think the lip bomb will enable her to make a suitable impression."

"Very well: we will give it to you. But you must demonstrate it on your two girls, so that they understand its nature."

"You mean, we must don it, and kiss our companions?" Prince Dolph asked.

"Exactly."

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King Dor looked at the girls. "I don't know—" But Breanna was curious. "Sure one of you can kiss me," she said. "I'll know you don't mean it, so it's no violation of the Adult Conspiracy, if that matters."

The kings looked doubtful, but didn't argue. "All right," Tipsy agreed uncertainly.

Karla brought out a jar of red stuff. "Come here. King Dor," she said with a typically centaurian obscure smile. She took paste on her fingers and carefully smeared it on his lips. Then she did the same with Bink. "Now kiss them."

The king and the prince turned. Bink approached Tipsy, and Dor approached Breanna. "1 apologize for the necessity," he said.

"Oh, at least pretend some enthusiasm," Breanna said naughtily. "It isn't as if I haven't been kissed by a king before."

He took her in his arms and put his lips to hers. It was sort of pathetic, that this middle-aged man thought his kiss could have any real effect. Then her mouth detonated, and she would have fallen spinning to the ground, except for the fact that he was firmly supporting her. Stars and planets careened in circles around her head. The experience was devastatingly pleasant.

She found herself limp in his embrace. "Do what you want with me," she murmured blissfully.

"Have no fear of that." he replied. "It is only a demonstration, as we agreed." He set her on her feet and let go, and she was able to stand somewhat unsteadily.

"That lip bomb is remarkable stuff," Justin remarked. "Now I appreciate more fully why they believe it will help Tipsy Troll."

"For sure. If Xeth had used it on me, we'd be married by now." She looked around. Tipsy Troll was sagging against Bink. with little hearts floating up from her head. Obviously his kiss had been just as potent. "That's some stuff," Breanna repeated, awed.

Karla handed Tipsy the jar. "Now you know what to do with this," she said. "Go get your man."

"Now I know," Tipsy agreed dizzily.

"We thank you very kindly," King Dor said. "Perhaps you fillies can come to the big royal wedding next week at Castle Roogna." "Oh? Who is getting married?" "We don't know. But it will surely be a momentous occasion."

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"We like momentous occasions," Karla said. "But we don't have invitations."

"I will try to get some made up for you," King Dor said. "We'll give them to you when you arrive."

The centaur frowned. "That's not exactly the way it is done."

King Dor shrugged. "I'm a man. I don't know any better."

"True. We'll try to attend."

"Ask Serena, Erica, and Aurora to come too," Prince Dolph said.

"We shall."

They got into the boat, and it ran toward the brink. The centaurs waved farewell, evidently intrigued by their mode of transportation. The boat charged right over the edge and dropped toward the distant ground. Tipsy and Breanna screamed.