Zombie Lover (23 page)

They approached the house There was Ida, exercising in her gai-den She was human rather than crossbreed, but was remarkable in another way she was massively muscular In fact she was lifting solid hand weights that were shaped exactly like the planet itself

"Hello," Dor called

She turned
 
"Oh. you would be the next group," she said

"Yes
 
We are looking for the Zombie Master "

"You missed him by an hour He went on to Pincushion " She angled her head, bringing her moon into view Sure enough, it looked just like a pincushion

"Why are you exercising9" Dolph asked

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Pif-RS ANTHONY

"Oh that's right, you are from another world I don't know how magic works there but here it is directly related to physical strength So we all are concerned about our development" She heaved the weights over her head, showing massive arm muscles

The men exchanged yet another glance They had thought the inhabitants would be stupid Instead they were fitness freaks Ida looked as if she could pick any of them up with one hand

'If it's all right with you, ' Dor said cautiously, "could we—9"

"Oh. by all means, go ahead," Ida agreed

They focused on the pincushion It expanded, or they shrank, and soon they were flying toward it This world was perhaps the oddest one yet, because it seemed to be a soft central blob from which hundreds of enormously long, thin pins projected

Somewhere in here was the Zombie Master's trail But where7 The pins were like a forest, with many of them hidden by the ones in front, from any perspective

"Maybe he landed on the cushion, and we can pick up his trail there," Bmk suggested

So Dolph found a halfway clear place and flew down to the base The pins crowded in so thickly there that he had to fold his wings and drop the last part of it
 
But the surface was a soft cushion, so they weren't hurt

They made their way through the forest From here each pin was much larger in diameter than it had seemed from afar, as thick as a thin mountain When they brushed too close to any, its orientation took over, causing them to rotate so as to stand on its surface There were no people here, either they lived under the cushion, or up along the pins

Then they found the pnnts, and followed them to a pin They boarded that pin, and walked along its endless length Now the pin seemed level, and the others near it seemed level too, pacing it like disconnected horizons to the sides and above

"We need to find a faster way to travel," Dor said

"I can't fly, because my roc wings would bang into the neighboring pins
    
Dolph said
 
Actually that was a slight exaggeration, the other pins weren t that close
 
But the area seemed so constricted it made him nervous, he preferred plenty of room as a roc "We didn't bring any travel spells along," Bmk said

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I'll ask around, ' Dor said
  
He faced down
  
' Hey
  
pin
  
what's the best and fastest way to travel along you?" "Password7" the pin asked 'What do you mean, password7"

"I am a protected PIN I give access only via the right password Dor paused
 
Then he said. "Very well
  
PASSWORD " 'Thank you The best and fastest ua> to travel along me is to get the flew ''

Dolph realized again that the inanimate wasn't very smart When it heard the word "password" it assumed that this must be the correct one

"Tell me about the flew," Dor said

"When you catch it, it makes you sneeze and fly for two minutes "

"Where can we find it9"

"Just stand in the breeze and suck in whatever's there and soon a flew bug will fly by Make sure you are facing backward "

So the three of them faced back toward the base of the pin
  
and breathed deeply
  
Soon Dolph saw a little bug flying along, so he sucked it in
 
Immediately he sneezed so violently that he shot back ward along the pin
 
Before he slowed, he sneezed again, and again By the time the paroxysm abated
 
he was far along
  
out of sight of the others
 
He gasped for breath and wiped his tearing eyes, that had been fast travel, but not the most comfortable

He heard a distant explosion It repeated several times Then Doi came sailing backward along the pin coming to rest just beyond Dolph He too was gasping and tearing, but otherwise all right

Finally Bmk came along, propelled by similar jets of air

None of them really liked this mode of travel but it was effective So after they had recovered their breaths, they intercepted more flew bugs and did another hitch of sneeze travel Several bouts of this brought them to the end of the pin

This was expanded and rounded, and on its knob was a nice little house There was a tall, thin Ida "Yes. I know," she said ' He passed this way half an hour ago Just go on to Spiral "

They linked hands and oriented on the spiral-shaped moon spiraling around her head It expanded until it became a scintillating pattern of sparkling lights These spiraled inward toward a bulging center that glowed more brightly There were also streamers of dust that obscured parts ot the whole, but it was nevertheless lovely They centered on

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PIERS ANTHONY

one ot the outer ends ot a band, and searched for the glowing prints When they weren't evident, Dolph flew to the next spiral, and there he spied them

He flew on along the band, not caring to cut straight into the center lest he lose the trail, it was not obvious, because of the competing brightness of the spirals Soon he came to the bulging center and there was Ida's house She seemed to be a central figure of whatever world she existed in That seemed to make sense, as each world depended on her, in its fashion

He landed by her house She emerged immediately "Why yes, your friend passed by here just fifteen minutes ago Go on and find him on Tangle ''

They oriented on her moon, which did indeed look like a tangled blob of string or spaghetti It did not clarify as they swooped down on it, it seemed impossible to figure out all the intricacies of its convolutions The prints could be hidden anywhere in this mass

Dolph flew around and around the thing, but couldn't locate the prints They could be in the inside of it, following a string that passed through the center

"Let's try the center first," Dor suggested "That's where Ida is likely to be, so is where he'll be going, as this obviously isn't a zombie world ''

Dolph flew in to the center, where the worst tangle was
  
Sure enough, there was a nice little house, and the footprints led up to it He landed, and they approached
 
This Ida looked heavyset, as if she had eaten too much pasta
  
"You missed your friend by five minutes," she said
 
"Go on after him on Motes "

Her moon was a small cloud of dust They oriented on it, and soon were approaching what turned out to be a cluster of little stones Of medium stones Ot larger stones Of great rocks Of planetoids In fact, the swarm was made of hundreds ot rocky bits each large enough to support a village

How could they find footprints, when there was no land between

rocks9

"Go to the center " Dor recommended "Maybe we can catch him before he reaches Ida ''

Dolph flew toward the center of the swarm But betore he reached it, he saw a glowing footprint He veered toward it, but soon found that the trail abruptly ended

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127

"He must have jumped," Dor said

Dolph saw that the last prints were opposite another planetoid, so he flew across to that one
 
Sure enough, the prints resumed He fol lowed them around the rock—and there, suddenly
 
was the Zombie Master He was about to jump toward another rock "Wait1 ' Dor cned
 
"We need to talk to you'" Surprised, the Zombie Master waited
 
Dolph landed nearby, dis covering that his weight was very small here, and changed form Then the three of them approached Jonathan He looked extremely old, but that was because he was
 
Dolph suspected that the Good Magician gave him doses of youth elixir to prevent him from becoming too old He was almost nine hundred years old chronologically, and some where around one hundred physically, because he had spent eight hundred years as a zombie

"Hello Dor and Dolph," he said
 
"And—9" "Bink " Bmk filled in
  
"Chameleon and I were just youthened " "How have you come to enter my dream9" "We needed to talk with you, so Millie let us sniff the sleep potion," Dor said
  
"The zombies are all stirred up in Xanth
  
and we need to know why, so we can get them settled before the big wedding Wedding guests don't much like zombies " "Wedding9 Who is getting married9"

1 'We don't know, but Jenny Elf is writing a huge pile of invitations and many of us have important roles in it "

"That's interesting
 
Unfortunately I don't know why the zombies are stirred up It is not by any design of mine I had noticed the etfect, and made inquiries, but had not received news by the time I started this excursion to locate a zombie world
  
When I do find the world there should be no further problem "

"But how can the zombies reach it7 ' Dolph asked
  
' They can't go physically, can they9 *

"They won't have to They can dream their way to it, once I find the way '

"Zombies dream9"

"Of course And they sleep quietly in their graves while dreaming Unlike living folk, they can remain asleep indefinitely without dete norating more than usual "

"That does seem like a good solution to the problem." Bink said "Do you think you will find a zombie world soon'

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ANTHONY

"I certainly hope to. There seems to be an endless chain of worlds, and since they embrace all the realms of maybe, one is bound to be suitable. I mean to locale it, mark it, and establish a direct route to it. Then most of the zombies ean get to it within a couple of days."

Dor nodded. "That's not the information we were seeking, but it seems just as good. So we can go home and report that probably the problem will abate before the wedding."

"That seems likely." the Zombie Master agreed.

"Then we had better let you be on your way, and we will return to Xanth and make our report."

"Tell Millie I am making progress," the Zombie Master said.

Dor nodded. Then the three of them linked hands, and focused on waking up.

7

ROAD TO THE ISLES

T

hey came to a slightly larger chamber where a woman worked. She was tall, shapely, and veiled. She spied Breanna and Wira, and spun about to face them. "So you dare enter my lair, my foul feathered fiend!" she declaimed. "This time you shall not escape my love!" Her hair rose up on its own, and turned out to be composed of little snakes that hissed in time to the speech.

Breanna halted, taken aback. What had she done this time?

But Wira was unperturbed. "Mother Gorgon, this is Breanna of the Black Wave, and Justin Tree." She turned to face Breanna. "And this is the Gorgon, the Good Magician's Designated Wife for this month. She's an actress in the dream realm."