Authors: Megan McKenney
“Mom,” I followed her, my voice quivering like a child’s. She was throwing her bags into her already stuffed trunk. “Please, please don’t go. I’ll be nicer to you! I’ll start doing my hair! If…if…if you’d just stay than I would be better!” Tears were streaming down my face as I sobbed. I kept grabbing her arms, trying to make her realize that she needed to stay.
“I’ve got to go, Jenna. I love you…and I’m still only a phone call away,” she smiled through the tears while she got into her car.
“MOM!” I screamed. I knew that my volume was going to wake up the neighbors but right now I was only be selfish. I had the reason to be selfish! She looked at my father, her eyes wide with embarrassment. Typical mom, always worrying more about our appearances rather than worrying about the family. “PLEASE STAY!!”
Dad by this time had already retreated back into the house. She backed out of the driveway as I continued screaming on the top of my lungs. I didn’t quite understand how that would help anything, but right now my adrenaline was kicking in.
“YOU CAN’T LEAVE!” I screamed at her, tapping on her window uncontrollably. “YOU’RE MY MOM! I NEED YOU! I’LL BE GOOD!!!”
Now she was in the road, not even looking through the window at my desperate face. How could she leave without any remorse? This was my mom! She was leaving me…leaving me because she was cheating! The reality hit me as I stood there, looking at her through the car window. She had been cheating on my dad the whole time. At that moment, I secretly hated her, but I wanted her to stay with me.
With just a touch of her foot, her tires squealed from in front of our house. I started running down the sidewalk even though I knew that there was no way I could ever catch up with her. I cried, letting my tears sting in the wind. “MOM!!!” I screamed as loud as I could.
I kept running until he showed up, wrapping his arms around me. I sank into Keiffer’s hug, allowing him to hold me still. I started punching him on the arm. “I can’t live without you! I can’t live without you! I can’t live without you!” I cried into his chest as he held me. I wasn’t sure if I was meaning that towards my mom, or towards the guy holding me.
He held me tightly, us both falling into the snowy lawn together. I didn’t want him to ever let go of me as we sat there, the coldness of the snow melting into our clothing. He ran his fingers through my hair, quite obviously trying to calm me down. It worked, but I couldn’t help the tears from still forming. He rocked me back and forth, letting me finally calm down without judgment.
Finally, after all the tears finally subsided, we locked eyes. Under the stars that night, I realized more than ever that he was everything that I was looking for in a guy. He was handsome, smart, talented, and he treated me with respect. He didn’t smile at me, not even once. I wanted him to say something, anything, but he kept his mouth quiet.
I ran my fingers through his hair, feeling the curls wrap around my finger. My fingertips made their way down to his face, tracing over the stubble on his jaw. They didn’t stop moving until they reached his lips. He leaned in, placing his forehead against mine. Our breathing was delicate as we had our foreheads pressed against each other’s. I could swear that I could feel his breath against my own lips.
“I can’t live without you either,” Keiffer whispered. Chills, worse than the winter wind, ran down my back as he said those words. He touched my cheek, wiping the tears away. I looked into his eyes, seeing the unspoken words that he dare not say. I knew how he felt and tonight he had made it perfectly clear.
I parted my lips to say something, but instead of letting out a word, I jumped to my feet and ran towards the house. There was nothing to say. He felt something between us, yet, he acted as though I was nothing but a nuisance to him. I wanted to be something special, I wanted him to just admit that I was the one that he loved, but all I felt was resentment from him.
Without looking back, I ran into the house, slamming the front door behind me. Dad stood in the hallway. His eyes were bloodshot as he waited for me to say something. My heart was heavy and I knew my voice was going to tremble, but there was only one thing that I wanted to say.
“How could you let her walk away?” I asked, making my way up the stairs. “You practically carried her stuff out to her car!” I yelled, not wanting more tears to stain my cheeks. “What kind of a man are you?” I slammed my room door shut, closing the distance between him and myself.
I fell onto my bed, curling myself into a small ball. The smaller I could get myself, the less pain I would ever have to feel. I felt my eye lids get heavy as I laid there that night. I could hardly even move. I felt myself slowly falling into sleep, and this time, I didn’t even try to fight sleep.
I woke up the next morning to my cell phone going off. I reached for it while still keeping my eyes closed. Who in their right mind would be calling me this early in the morning? I read the caller I.D. It was Brad.
“Hey,” I answered.
“You’re still sleeping?” Brad asked, shock running through his voice. I looked at my alarm clock, jumping at the fact that it was one in the afternoon.
“Oh, guess so,” I responded. I didn’t meant to sleep that long. Last night must have really tired me out. In fact, the whole day was pretty horrible.
“I heard that…you know…” he started.
“What’d you hear?” I asked, rolling my eyes in disgust.
“Well, your dad called me this morning –“
“My dad, huh?” I felt even more anger. Why would he tell my dirty laundry to other people? It was obvious that he was trying to make as much drama as he possibly could. I knew that he didn’t understand that my life at school was different than the normal student. It wasn’t like he was just telling Brad, he was always telling the entire school. I decided not to be mad at him for telling Brad, but I still couldn’t help but feel annoyed.
“Yes. I’m so sorry.” He really did sound like he was sorry about the situation. I couldn’t help but feel happy that he took the time to call me.
“Thanks,” I responded.
“What can I do for you? I’ll do anything.”
“That’s okay, Brad. I can handle everything myself. But thanks.”
“Are you sure?” He asked. He really wanted to help in any way that he could. However, I didn’t want sympathy. Not from him at least.
“I’m sure. Listen, I need to get going. I’m a bit busy,” I looked around my vacant room. Okay, so maybe I wasn’t really all that busy. “I’ll call you later though.”
“Okay, no pressure,” he reassured me. “Just call me whenever you feel like you can talk, okay?”
I nodded my head. “Yes, I promise.” I quickly ended the call before he would want to talk any longer. I slipped on a pair of shorts and a tank top – something a little nicer than what I had been wearing for the past couple of weeks.
Stumbling down the stairs, I raided the fridge for anything that I could get my hands on. I made myself a BLT, two packs of chocolate pudding, and some biscuits that my mom had purchased for spaghetti. I settled myself onto the couch, turning on some cartoons in hopes that they would keep my mind off of mom.
A few hours later of vegetating, the house phone started to ring. Sluggishly, I kept my biscuit in my hand as I walked over to the dining room where we kept the house phone. I picked it up, my voice practically muffled by the bread in my mouth.
“Is this Jenna?” The woman on the phone asked. I knew that voice anywhere. That was Coach Riva. I rolled my eyes, taking another bite of the dry biscuit.
“Yes,” I responded.
“Where are you been?” She asked angrily into the phone. “You didn’t show up for practice today! You better have a good reason for it!”
“I’m sick,” I responded.
“I said reason, not excuse!” She snapped.
“No, I really am sick,” I lied. “I have…um…I’mmaGonnaEatis.” I actually snorted out loud when I said it, but I tried to keep my voice controlled. It actually sounded like a good disease. Maybe I really did have it.
“I’m not stupid, Jenna. You’re captain of this team. Either you have a good reason or I’ll remove you from the squad. This hasn’t been the first time you skipped practice. You haven’t shown up for the past two weeks. I’m about to pull you.”
“But Coach Riva, it’s a true disease. I’mmaGonnaEatis is a rare form of…Slothism.” I laughed again, but this time I had enough sense to remove the phone from my mouth so she couldn’t hear it.
“Slothism? I’mmaGonnaEatis?” Coach Riva let out a deep breath. “That’s it, I’m going to be forced to pull you.”
“Oh, no, don’t do that,” I said sarcastically. I didn’t understand why I was acting like this. It had been my dream to be on the Varsity Cheer Team, and now (in my senior year) I was Captain. Yet, I was willing to blow it all away. For what?
“You’ve really disappointed me, Jenna.”
“Good. Coach Riva, it’s about time you realize that everyone in your life is going to either lie to or disappoint you. Life isn’t easy. I should know. It’s about time you learn that now.” I hung up the phone before she even had the chance to say anything back to me. There went my dreams…there went my parents respect.
I finished off the biscuit, turned off the TV, and made myself climb the stairs to my room. I just wanted to go back to sleep, to drown my sorrows in my dreams. As I entered my room, my eyes were automatically directed out the window towards Keiffer’s room. I knew he wasn’t going to be in there, but I still looked anyway. But it wasn’t his room that caught my eye, it was the telescope that he had on his roof that was facing my way.
I raced over to my window, leaning over the sill so I could read the note that he had attached to it. There, in his writing, was a note that made my heart almost stop beating.
The only thing more beautiful than the stars…
…Is you
I scrambled to my feet, grabbing my boots as I raced down the stairs. I didn’t even take the fifteen seconds that was required to put my shoes on. I started pounding on his front door, using my whole open hand to hit against it. I knew it was much too loud, but I finally knew how he felt about me. I finally knew it.
Indigo opened the front door, obviously wondering about my crazy knocking. She eyed me suspiciously, trying to figure out why I was acting so erratically. “Is Keiffer home?” I exclaimed.
She shook her head slowly. “Um…no. He left for the beach about two hours ago-” Before she could even finish her sentence, I took off towards the beach. I knew that it seemed rude of me to act so crazy, but I needed to see him before it was too late.
My whole body was shaking by the time I got to the beach. I had to place my hands on my knees as I stared out into the distance. I hadn’t realized just how out of shape I had been. Sweat literally dripped down my face as I stood at the road. He would be the only one to brave the cold water of Lake Michigan in the middle of Spring. It was only April in Michigan, which meant the snow was melting, but no one in their right mind would be willing to even place a single toe in the lake. Yet, there was Keiffer. He was on his surf board, drifting in the water.
I took another deep breath, running through the sand towards him. It literally felt like forever until I finally reached the shore. I let the water touch my feet, but that was as far as I was going to walk up to him.
“I’m going to say something, and you’re going to listen!” I called out to him. He turned around, facing me. He started to paddle himself in, but not quickly enough. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my heart rate. “My life was perfect before I met you. I had the perfect parents, perfect grades, perfect best friend, and perfect boyfriend. And then I got stuck with you. And man, did I get stuck with you. I thought it was bad that I had you as a partner in class, but then of all things, you moved into the house next to mine.
“And let me tell you what…I hated you! Boy, did I hate you. I hated your stupid name, your stupid smile, your stupid cocky answers, and I especially hated your stupid sense of humor.” I ran my fingers through my hair. “But you know what? I began to embrace each one of those things as time went on. In fact, I began to love those things about you.”
He now was walking out of the water, his bathing suit clinging helplessly on him. “But I still tried to hate you. Keiffer, I tried everything to hate you! But you would keep reappearing in my life. You kept appearing in the most random places in my life. You made me think differently about things. You actually made me happy and I found myself trying to speak to you even when you didn’t want to.
“And then you left for a week. And my whole life fell apart. I realized at that moment that I literally need you. I need you in my life and I can’t handle you being away.” I reached out and touched his wet arms. “I realized that I love you, Keiffer.”
“Do you mean that?” He asked, running his thumb over my cheek. I closed my eyes as the touch of his hand. Nodding my head, it showed that I did.
With one swift movement, he grabbed the sides of my face and pulled me into a kiss. Our lips met suddenly, but I didn’t even try to pull away. Instead I welcomed it. I wanted it! I kissed him back, letting his tongue meet mine. I had never been kissed this passionately, not even when I was kissed by Brad. He ran his fingers through my hair, only leaving my lips bare for him to take another gasp of air. His lips met my neck, then made their way back up. He made noises, noises of pure pleasure.