Authors: Megan McKenney
“I know, I know! But I’m taking you somewhere special…”
“Special?” I snapped. After careful consideration, and knowing that I couldn’t say no to those beautiful eyes, I pulled the covers off and started to get dressed. “You better be taking me to a darn five star breakfast.”
“Better than that!” Keiffer said proudly, presenting me with a wrapped box. “I got you a gift.”
“Really?” I asked. Now I felt guilty about how mean I had been to him about this. “You didn’t have to get me anything.”
“I know,” he answered. He laughed when he saw the shock on my face. “I’m just kidding. But open it.”
I ripped off the wrapping paper and opened up the large white box. Inside was a black and pink wetsuit. I pulled it out of the box, confusion written all over my face. He grabbed it from my hands and placed it against my body to visualize it.
“Yes, I think a size small was perfect. Anyway, we need to get going.”
“Where are you taking me? Don’t forget that we have school and you promised that you would come to cheer practice afterwards,” I said as I reached my arms to the ceiling to stretch my back.
“How could I forget? You’ve been reminding me since yesterday morning!” He laughed as he handed me the suit. With much hesitation, I grabbed the suit from him and slipped it on, only needing his assistant to zip up the back of it.
The walk to the beach wasn’t too bad. The sun hadn’t even started to rise, which meant we were guided by the sounds of the waves and the street lights. I shivered as we walked, letting the April morning wind dig through my body suit. Keiffer placed his arm over my shoulders, trying to give me as much of his body heat as he could.
The sun had barely even made its appearance by the time we arrived at the beach. It wasn’t like I minded much, but it was only April…and Michigan! By this time all the snow had melted, but there was dew on the sand. We stood on the shore, debating whether or not it would be worth it to go. Keiffer had his surf board under one arm, his feet planted in the water.
“How cold is it?” I whined.
He shrugged his shoulders. “It’s perfect,” he responded. I stepped into the water, feeling the cold water pierce my skin. I shrieked and jumped back out. “For a polar bear.”
“Well, in case you haven’t noticed, I’m not a polar bear. Come’on let’s go home! We have school in less than a couple hours and I could still get a whole thirty minutes of sleep in.” I turned around to start heading back to the road, but then he reached out and caught me by the waist.
“I just want to spend some time with you,” he said while pulling me in closer to him. I laughed, pushing him off slightly.
“I’m flattered, but seriously. I’m cold, tired, and didn’t study for my Chemistry exam.”
“Then let’s study right now,” he pleaded. He went in for a kiss. I let him take one real quick, but I pulled out of the hug right after.
“How? I don’t have my book. Besides I don’t think that surfing is going to help me get an A on the test,” I teased. He laughed, running his fingers through his hair.
“Well, we got chemistry. Let’s study that for a bit,” he suggested. How was I supposed to say no to those perfect blue eyes? He drew me in again and I almost couldn’t regain my self-control. “Oh, and I forgot to study Anatomy… may I study yours?”
“You’re such a sleaze!” I slapped his chest playfully. “Come’on we’ll go surfing this summer when the water isn’t negative thirty.”
“In case you haven’t noticed, this is Michigan. We’re like six hours from Canada. The water is never going to get warm. Don’t you want to learn? It’s the best feeling in the world!” He exclaimed.
“Let’s go back and I’ll show you the best feeling in the world,” I flirted.
He looked at the water, then back at me, then back at the water, and then back at me. Feeling defeated, he finally gave in to my proposition. “You knew I couldn’t argue with that.”
I laughed. “I kind of hoped!” I wrapped my arm around his waist as we walked back up to the road.
“How about I take you to Florida this summer?” He suggested. “We’ll go surfing all the time!”
Hesitating, I took in his proposition. “I’m glad that you’re reconsidering your other… plans.” My voice caught in my throat at the thought of Keiffer’s thoughts of suicide. “I’ve been thinking about it, maybe we can both go to Yale. I mean, you haven’t even applied to college but I’ve seen your grades. They’re really good! We can both go at the end of summer and get an on-campus apartment. And maybe we can go to Florida this summer, if everything works out.”
He shook his head. “No, no that’s not a good idea.”
“Why?” I asked, turning my whole attention to him. “You’re smart, you’re amazing… you deserve to receive a great education. And throwing it away because of your depression would be horrible.”
“I don’t want to talk about this,” Keiffer said, obviously frustrated by the conversation.
A few minutes passed of careful consideration, I finally let my heart do the talking. “No, forget I mentioned Yale. Really. I’d love to go to Florida with you this summer.” The fact that he was even suggesting an actual plan for after high school was a big deal. Just last week his plan was suicide… now he was actually thinking about a future.
He stopped walking. “Let’s just drop it. I forgot that you were leaving after high school and I’m not going to be the one to stop you
.
”
I grabbed his hand, begging him to stop walking. “Let’s not worry about the future.” I placed my hand upon his cheek, looking him deep in the eyes. “Let’s focus on now. The present. I’m here, you’re here…let’s just be with each other.”
He kissed me, closing his eyes. “I’m just worried.”
“Nothing’s going to happen,” I reassured him. “Indigo is getting you medicine…your mom always knows what’s best.”
“What if it doesn’t help?” He asked nervously.
I shrugged my shoulders. “Then let me be your drug. I can help you…if you would just let me.”
We dropped the conversation after that. Instead, after much coaxing, he got me to finally get out into the water. It definitely wasn’t easy by any means to get on that stupid surf board! I fell over at least a dozen times before I finally found my balance. Once Keiffer and I were both sitting comfortably on the board, he started to paddle out with his hands until we were farther out into the lake than what I was comfortable with.
He was sitting in front of me, allowing me to wrap my arms around his waist. Together we looked towards the horizon. The sun was creeping up slowly, allowing the night sky glow slightly. I placed my chin on his shoulder. How was he able to be this romantic? We had only been dating for three weeks, but each day was full of so much love. I was happy…for the first time in my life I was truly happy.
Chapter 12
School was way different now than what it was a month ago. I wasn’t the popular girl on campus anymore. No, I was just plain Jenna Horowitz. No one ever came up to me in the hallway, nor did anyone even give me a second glance. In a way I missed the attention, but I had better things on my mind now.
“Hey, Jenna,” Lacey said as she walked up to my locker. I was putting my books away, just like I did every morning. She hadn’t brought me my morning latte since the day I broke up with Brad. It was as though she was trying to get rid of me.
I looked up at her, giving her my best remediation of a smile. It was weird…just weeks ago she had been one of the few people that could make me smile. She was my best friend and knew all of my darkest secrets. But since I met Keiffer, all of my energy, thoughts, and time went to him. No one was able to fill that void when he wasn’t around.
“Hey, Lacey. How are you?” I asked, shutting my locker door.
She shrugged her shoulders. “I guess I’m doing fine. We haven’t talked in a while…”
“It’s been a few weeks,” I laughed nervously. I missed her friendship, but I was enjoying Keiffer’s too much to even notice that Lacey had been missing in my life.
She tried her best to laugh it off too, but I knew she was truly upset. “We haven’t gone this long without talking in forever. Are we okay?”
“Yes, I guess so. I’ve just been a bit busy with…well, you know…”
“Keiffer?” She asked, eyeing me nervously. Everyone knew that we were dating, even if we didn’t announce it to the world. The new relationship brought my status to a social low, and it surprised me that Lacey was still willing to talk to me.
“You called?” Keiffer asked, stepping around the corner. He placed his hand on my hip after kissing me neatly. Lacey stared at him in disgust.
“I didn’t,” she spat. Keiffer got the hint and backed off. He proceeded with placing some of his books into my locker in order to free up space in his backpack.
“Oh, Jenna!” Brenda said excitedly as she stepped around the corner. She, unsurprisingly, was holding hands with Brad. “I was hoping we would run into each other. I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”
I rolled my eyes before noticing Brad’s expression. He looked miserable, as though he would rather be anywhere but there with her. “Oh, Brenda. I would rather get hit by a train than speak with you.”
“You’re too funny,” she laughed sarcastically. “Your beautiful sense of humor hasn’t changed a bit.”
“What do you want?” I asked, placing my hands on my hips.
“I just wanted to say that I heard that Principal Nelson talked to you a few weeks ago. Looks like you may not be giving the graduation speech after all. Guess you screwed up…again.” Her voice was snotty, as though she actually thought she was better than me. I felt myself start to fume.
“So, you’re still sulking?” I said rudely. “That’s pretty pathetic.”
“Actually…you’re pretty pathetic,” she noted while pointing at my pajama pants and t-shirt. “You look like you crawled out of a…” she stopped talking. “Wait, look at your boyfriend. Guess he’s not much better.”
“Hey!” Keiffer said at once. “Don’t drag me into this!”
“What? You mean you aren’t her boyfriend? Well, you must be quite a slut then, Jenna.” Brenda looked up at Brad. “Because last I heard, you’re not much of a virgin anymore…are you?”
I quickly looked over at Brad, who was studying me with curious eyes. I felt my bottom lip start to tremble. No matter what, Brad still meant a lot of me. He had been my boyfriend for four years. I knew that that information was probably killing him.
“Oh, was I not supposed to say anything?” Brenda asked, covering her mouth dramatically. While I couldn’t see her snotty smile, her eyes were demonic enough.
“Shut up!” Brad yelled at her. “Just shut up, Brenda!” He let go of her hand before storming away.
She just shrugged her shoulders and let out a cold laugh. “See you around, Keiffer.” She winked at him before walking away also. I turned to him, feeling my cheeks start to burn.
“Why did she say that?” I demanded.
“Say what? My name?”
“Why did she wink at you after she said your name?”
“Don’t be paranoid, Jenna!” He said quickly. “I don’t have the answer for everything.” He grabbed onto my hand, looking me deep into the eyes. “Brenda is nobody to me. And, honestly, I don’t understand this hate for her. Life is too short to hate.”
“Don’t criticize me,” I snapped. Crossing my arms, I refused to back down. I hated how I sometimes got like this. I knew that Brenda was just trying to get under my skin, but since seeing her with Brad made me hate her even more. I looked down at the floor, kicking a stray pencil with my foot.
“It’s only bugging you because you still feel something for him,” Keiffer finally spoke up. My eyes met his, though I didn’t see any anger there. It was crazy how well he could figure me out. No one, not even my parents, could read my thoughts as well as he could. I didn’t believe in soul mates, but if I had to guess…Keiffer was definitely mine. It scared me at how well he knew me.
I slowly nodded my head. “I don’t love him…but I’ll always feel
something
for him.”
“I know,” he admitted. “And I think you need to go find him.” Without anything further, he shut the locker door and headed off towards first hour. Gathering up my pride, I walked in the direction where I saw Brad going. There was only one place he would go…and I was going to meet him there.
Stepping into the gym, I had never felt so small. Only a few rows of lights were on, which gave the room a dreary feel. The stands were pulled out and no one, besides Brad, was in there. I walked across the basketball court towards the bleachers. Brad was sitting all the way at the top. Neither of us said a word until I was seated comfortably next to him.
“How’ve things gotten so crazy between us?” He finally asked after a few moments of silence. “We don’t speak at work. You have a new boyfriend. I…I don’t know what Brenda and I are. Don’t you love me at all?”