A Knight for Nurse Hart (9 page)

She was scheduled to work tonight, unless she could find someone to cover for her. Caleb was scheduled to work, too. A part of her wanted nothing more than to take him up on his offer to spend the night again on his sofa.

But she couldn't lean on him too much. She needed to be strong. And maybe that meant taking action, rather than sitting around, doing nothing.

 

Caleb went to work early, to visit his dad and in hope of seeing Raine.

He'd been tempted to call her several times that day. Only the memories of how he'd over-reacted before when they'd been dating held him back.

She didn't need him constantly hovering. But doing nothing, and not seeing her at all, was killing him.

When he went up to his father's room on the regular
floor, he was disappointed to find Raine wasn't there. But at least his father looked much better.

“Hi, Dad. How are you?”

“Doc says I'm hanging in there. They made me get up and walk in the hallway.” His father grimaced as he rearranged the photographs of the animals at the shelter on his bedside table. Caleb had to admit Raine's simple gift was genius.

“I'm glad to hear that. You need to move around if you want to go home.” He glanced at the glossy pictures, realizing how in some ways Raine had known his father better than he had. “Tell me about the animals at the shelter.”

That was all the encouragement his father needed. He went into great detail on the dogs he'd recently cared for, ending with a particularly engaging Irish setter. “This is Rusty, he's Raine's favorite.”

Raine's favorite? She'd seemed quite taken with Grizz last night. Caleb leaned forward to get a better look. “He's cute.”

“The color of his coat matches her hair,” his father explained with a smile. “Her apartment doesn't allow dogs, or I know she would have already adopted him.”

The idea of Raine longing for the companionship of a dog made his gut tighten. She deserved to have a dog as a pet. Look how quickly she'd bonded with Grizzly. He almost said as much to his father, but then realized that if his dad knew how Raine had spent the night, he'd only have more questions. Questions he didn't have the right to answer.

It was Raine's story to tell, not his. And the fact that
she hadn't told anyone but him was enough for him to keep quiet.

“Seems like you and Raine are pretty close,” Caleb said.

His father shrugged. “Not really. We don't talk about our personal lives very much. But, yeah, I enjoy working with her.”

“She, uh, hasn't stopped in to visit at all today, has she?” Caleb asked casually.

His father's gaze sharpened. “No. why? Is there something going on between the two of you?”

“Not in the way you're thinking,” Caleb said wryly. “We work together in the ED, and I was curious, that's all.”

“Hrmph.” His father scowled at him. “What's wrong with you, son? Are you blind? Can't you see what a great catch Raine is?”

It was on the tip of Caleb's tongue to remind his father he didn't jump into relationships the way he did, but he bit back the retort. Because, truthfully, he had jumped into a relationship with Raine. Faster than he had with anyone else.

And the moment he'd seen her with Jake he'd assumed the worst.

“I'm not blind,” he assured his father dryly. “Raine is beautiful and kind. She's also a great nurse.”

His father rolled his eyes. “Now you're going to tell me you're just friends.”

“We are. Don't push,” he warned, when his father looked as if he might argue. “Besides, I have to go. It's almost time for my shift.”

“Go on, then. Save lives.” His father waved him off.

Caleb walked toward the door, but then turned back. “Dad?” He waited for his father to meet his gaze. “I love you. Take care of yourself, understand?”

His father looked surprised, but then he nodded. “Thanks, Caleb,” he said in a gruff tone. “I will. And I love you, too.”

Caleb headed down to the emergency eepartment, glancing around for Raine and frowning when he didn't find her. Had she decided to go back into the minor care area, the small exam rooms that were literally located just outside the main emergency department? After several minutes of looking, he sought help from the charge nurse on duty.

“Which area is Raine Hart working in tonight?” he asked.

“She's not here,” the charge nurse informed him. “She called and asked Diane to work for her. Diane is assigned to the trauma bay.”

For a moment he could only stare at her in shock, his breath lodged painfully in his chest. Raine wasn't working tonight? Why? Because she was avoiding him? Or because she was too upset?

Dammit, he never should have left her alone.

C
ONCENTRATING
on patient care helped distract him for a while, but every time there was a lull between patients, his mind would turn to Raine. He tried to call her cellphone on his break, but she didn't answer, which only made things worse. By the time he'd reached the end of his shift, he was crazy with fear and worry.

Caleb went home to take care of Grizz and then paced the kitchen, inwardly debating what to do. He glanced at the clock, realizing it was past eleven-thirty at night, but at the moment he didn't care. He let Grizzly back in and then drove straight over to Raine's apartment complex.

She lived in an eight-unit building, on the second floor, in the upper right hand corner. He frowned when he saw the windows of her apartment were dark.

Because she was sleeping? Or because she wasn't home?

He pulled up to the curb, parked his car and got out. There was a long surface parking lot behind the building, and he ambled back to look for her car.

It wasn't there.

So she wasn't home. The knot in his gut tightened painfully, and the old familiar doubts came flooding to the surface. Where was she? Who was she with? What was she doing?

He knew that Raine wouldn't be with another man, not now. Not so soon after the assault. She'd had to gather her courage to ask him for a hug, for heaven's sake. But the edgy panic plagued him anyway. He thrust his fingers through his hair, wishing he could tune out his wayward thoughts.

He'd avoided serious relationships during medical school, concentrating on his studies. After watching the parade of women come and go in his father's life, he hadn't thought he'd been missing much. Until he'd become a resident and met fellow resident Tabitha Nash.

He remembered all too clearly how betrayed he'd felt when he'd walked into their bedroom to see his naked fiancée in the arms of another man. In their bed.

He'd immediately moved out, and had guarded his heart much more fiercely from that point on. Which was why he'd been so willing to believe the worst about Raine when he'd seen her with Jake.

He walked back to his car, climbed behind the wheel and tried to convince himself to go home. Raine was an adult and if she needed him, she knew how to get in touch with him.

But he couldn't make himself turn the key in the ignition.

When he'd met Raine, he'd told himself to go slow. She was four years younger and more naïve than some of the women he'd dated, probably because she hadn't
been used to life in the big city. Regardless, her bubbly enthusiasm for life along with the strong pull of sexual attraction had been difficult to resist.

All too soon he'd found himself falling for her. And when they hadn't been together, he'd constantly questioned where she was and who she was with. Even though he'd known he'd been coming on too strong, he hadn't seemed able to stop.

After he'd realized she hadn't cheated on him with Jake, he'd wanted a second chance. Kept thinking that maybe, after some time had passed, they'd be able to get over their issues. But now he wasn't so sure that was even an option. Even after knowing what had happened, as much as he knew Raine's attack hadn't been her fault, he still didn't like to think about how she'd flirted with a stranger, however innocently. Her laughter had always drawn male attention…

He ground the palms of his hands into his eye sockets. He needed to get a grip. None of this was Raine's fault. None of it! He should go home. Sitting out here in front of Raine's building was making him feel like a stalker. Especially when, for all he knew, Raine could have driven home to see her brothers. Maybe she'd finally decided to tell them what happened.

Go home, Stewart. Stop being an idiot
.

Bright headlights approached, momentarily blinding him as he was about to put the car into gear. When the oncoming car slowed and the blinker came on, his pulse kicked up.

Raine. Sure enough, the blue car turning into the parking lot was Raine's. She was home.

Relieved, he shut off the car and climbed out, loping around to the parking lot behind the building.

“Raine?” he called, catching her as she was about to go inside.

She whirled around, putting her hand over her heart. “Caleb?” she said, when she realized who he was. “What are you doing here? You scared me to death.”

“I'm sorry.” He stood, feeling awkward. “I was worried when you didn't come in for your shift. I wanted to come over to make sure you were okay.”

She hitched her purse strap higher on her shoulder. “I'm fine.”

He frowned when she realized she was dressed in a sleek pair of black slacks and a bright purple blouse. They weren't suggestive in the least, considering she had the blouse buttoned to her chin, but he couldn't imagine she'd dressed up to go and see her brothers. “Where were you?” the question came out harsher than he'd intended.

She arched a brow and let out a disgusted sigh. “You haven't changed much, have you?”

He'd tried not to sound accusatory. Obviously he hadn't tried hard enough. “I'm sorry, I know what you do in your free time isn't any of my business. I swear I'm only asking because I'm concerned about you.”

She stared at him for several long seconds, toying with the strap on her purse. “If you must know, I went to the After Dark nightclub.”

He sucked in a harsh breath. “What? Alone? Why for God's sake?”

“Shh,” she hissed, glancing around. “You'll wake up
the entire neighborhood. And you can relax, it's not as bad as it sounds. I didn't go inside.”

Calming down wasn't an option, but he tried to lower his voice even though his tone was still tense. “What do you mean, you didn't go inside?”

Her expression turned grim. “I'm so tired of feeling like a victim, so I decided to take control. To see if I could help find the guy. I went to the nightclub but stayed in my car, watching the various people coming and going, trying to see if any of the faces jogged my memory. But it didn't work.” Her face reflected her disgust. “Unfortunately, I didn't recognize a single soul.”

 

Caleb bit his tongue so hard he tasted blood. He would not yell at Raine. Would not chastise her for going to the nightclub alone. Even if she had stayed in her car, there was a chance that the guy who'd assaulted her might recognize her and either try for round two or silence her for ever.

He bit down harder, until pain pierced his anger. Finally, he took a deep breath. Everything was fine. Getting her upset wouldn't help matters. He lowered his voice, trying to reassure her. “Raine, I wish you'd told me. I'd have been happy to go with you.”

“You were working, but I'll remember that if I decide to go again, which I sincerely doubt, since the entire attempt was pretty useless.” She shook out her keys, choosing one from the ring to unlock the door. “Do you want to come in for a few minutes or not?”

Her half-hearted invitation caught him off guard but there was no way in the world he was going to turn her down. “Ah…sure.”

She unlocked the door and held it open so he could follow her inside. He'd only been to her apartment a few times as they'd spent more time at his house while they'd been dating. When she opened the apartment door and flipped on the lights, his gaze landed on the sofa, half-buried beneath a blanket and pillow.

She slept on the couch in her own home? Because the bastard had brought her back here? He stumbled, useless anger radiating down his spine. He blocked off the anger, knowing it wouldn't help.

“Uh, make yourself comfortable,” she said, her cheeks flushed as she swept away the bedding to make room on the sofa. “Do you want something to drink?”

Whiskey. Straight up. He tried to smile. “Whatever you're having is fine with me.”

Her flush deepened. “I don't have beer or wine or anything. I drink a lot of bottled water these days.” Her tone was apologetic.

“Water is fine.” A soft mewling sound surprised him and he glanced down. “Is that a cat?”

Raine smiled, the first real smile since she'd come home. “Yes. This is Spice.” She bent down to pick up the cat who'd strolled into the room, snuggling the feline for a moment. “I've had her about a month now, since I started volunteering at the shelter. But I have to warn you, I think she's jealous of Grizzly.”

He crossed over, trying to be friendly with the calico cat, but she hissed at him, raising her hackles, so he backed off. “My dad mentioned you had a soft spot for Rusty, the Irish setter, at the shelter, but that your lease here didn't allow dogs. I'm glad you were able to get a cat.”

Raine put the cat on the floor and shooed her away. “Yes, Rusty is adorable. He was brought in as a stray, severely malnourished.” Her blue eyes clouded with anger. “We suspect he was abused by a man, since he's wary of the male workers at the shelter. He bonded with me right away, though, as I happened to be there when he was brought in. He's a wonderful dog. I have to say it took me a while to get him calmed down enough to let your father examine him.”

His heart squeezed in his chest. Rusty was abused? No wonder Raine had bonded with the dog. The two had been kindred souls, needing each other. Once again, a feeling of helplessness nearly overwhelmed him. There was really nothing he could do to help her. Nothing.

Except to ignore his own issues to be there for her if she needed him.

“I'm glad he has you, then.”

She nodded and went into the small kitchenette to get two bottles of water out of the fridge. She came back into the living room and took a seat on the sofa next to him. He was surprised and glad she'd chosen to sit next to him, rather than taking the chair halfway across the room.

Glancing around the apartment, he was struck once again by the fact that she'd taken to sleeping on the sofa. “Would you consider moving?” he asked, thinking she might be able to put the event behind her more easily if she wasn't here in this apartment with the constant reminders. Plus, if she was open to moving, maybe they could find a place that would allow dogs.

“Not right now. Unfortunately my lease goes through
to the end of the year.” She twisted the cap off her water and took a long drink.

He could hear the regret in her tone and wanted to offer to pay off her lease just so she could move out. But the Raine he knew valued her independence. He decided it wouldn't hurt to ask around, see if anyone was interested in moving closer to the hospital and potentially taking over her lease. She couldn't fault him for that, could she?

“How is your father doing?” Raine asked, changing the subject.

“He's fine. I went up to see him before my shift. He misses you and the work at the shelter a lot, I think.” Caleb stared at his water bottle for a moment. “I didn't appreciate just how much his volunteer work means to him.”

Raine's smile was wistful. “Your father loves animals, but he's also pretty social with the other volunteers. I get the sense being alone is hard for him.”

“Yeah. He definitely doesn't want to be alone.” He dragged his gaze up to meet hers. “I probably should have explained to you a long time ago about how my mom took off when I was five years old, rather than springing that news on you when my dad was heading off to the cath lab.”

“I'm sorry, Caleb. That must have been horrible for you.”

He shrugged off her sympathy. “We survived, but my dad started dating again shortly afterwards, bringing home a series of stepmother candidates to meet me.”

She winced. “I'm sure that didn't go over very well.”

“Maybe it would have been all right if my dad had found someone great, but instead he seemed to make
one mistake after another.” He downed half his water and set it aside. “My dad went through four marriages and four divorces. Hell, you'd think he'd learn but. no, he keeps finding new women and jumping right back into the next relationship. I've finally convinced him to stop marrying them at least.”

“I see,” Raine said slowly. She didn't look as if she completely agreed with him. “But, Caleb, surely you realize that your father's mistakes aren't your own.”

“I made a similar error in judgment,” he said slowly. “Remember I told you that my fiancée cheated on me? We were both residents, working a lot of shifts, often on opposite schedules, but I trusted her. Until I came home early one night to find her in bed with another guy.” He tried to soften the bitterness in his tone. “Good thing I found out before I married her.”

Her frown deepened. “Not all women cheat, Caleb.”

He nodded. “I know. Logically, I know that I can't assume the worst. But my gut doesn't listen to my head.”

“So you've been overcompensating ever since,” she said softly.

“Yes.” He let out a heavy sigh. “I'm sorry I didn't believe you. I tried to call you to apologize but you wouldn't take my calls.”

She glanced away. “I know. I wish I had. But we can't go back. Even if we had tried again, I doubt our relationship would have survived. Especially not after what I did.”

“Raine, please. Don't say that. You didn't
do
anything. The assault was not your fault.” He wished he could reach out and pull her into his arms, but he was afraid of scaring her.

“My counselor says the same thing, but saying that doesn't change how I feel.” She finally brought her gaze up to meet his.

“I figured you didn't take my calls because you were still angry with me.”

She stared at him for a few seconds. “I was angry with you, Caleb,” she said finally. “I went to the bachelorette party in the first place to get over you. But afterwards, you need to understand, the real reason I didn't take your calls was because I'd changed. I'm not the same person I was when you first asked me out. I'll never be that person ever again.”