“Anyway, that’s how he likes to fall asleep. I can’t do it every night, but when I can I’ll grab my guitar and start playing. His favorite is Silver Springs.”
“You have a beautiful voice,” I admit.
Brushing her knuckles along my cheeks, she smiles. “You said that to me in the car too. I’m sorry I was such a big baby that day. I’m not used to singing in front of others.”
“I’m glad you did.”
“Can you sing?”
I grunt. “When I’ve got a couple beers in me I think I can. Got smashed one night in
Kabul
, boys and I had a rare night off from recon. I’m not really sure what I was singing, all I remember was there was karaoke, too many beers, and I vaguely recall a lot of ‘boos’.”
Her teeth are even and white as she laughs. “I would have given anything to have seen that.”
I raise my brows. No, she really wouldn’t have. It was awful and I knew it.
After a pause she asks me, “Did you see war?”
Did I see war? What a loaded question. I still see war. Still see the mangled bodies after an I.E.D. explosion. The blood dripping everywhere, guts strewn thirty feet across the hot, packed desert sand. The smell of fuel burning up what few supplies were left in a village that’d aided the Americans.
Clenching my jaw, I close my eyes. “Yes.”
“Was it terrible?”
I want to drown in the depths of her mossy green eyes, crawl into her light, lose myself in the clean beauty of her soul and not have to remember the hell I’d seen. The things I’d done.
“There was this kid. Seven. Maybe eight.” I shrug. “Missing his front teeth, scratches all over his face, his hair was full of red dirt and his cheeks all smudged like he hadn’t bathed in weeks.”
Her gaze searches mine, as if she’s trying to see what I had.
“He came up to us. He was dressed…” his clothes had been in tatters, shredded and two sizes too big for him, I close my eyes, swallow hard, and continue, “he looked homeless. No shoes on his feet. I felt bad for the kid, you know.”
“What happened?”
Something that shouldn’t have. It’d been hot outside. Worse than any day since I’d gotten there, well over a hundred and twenty. So hot I’d seen mirages dancing everywhere, placid pools of water that’d turned into mounds and mounds of sand when I’d walk up to it.
All the kid had wanted was food, maybe some water.
My canteen had been half full and something about the kid made me think of me. Struggling to survive, fighting to be recognized, noticed…
The guys with me had told me sometimes the insurgents laid traps. But it was just us and the kid for miles. I should have known better.
Kids out there killed too.
But it’d been my first deployment and I’d been green.
I’d gone to him, unhooking my canteen, ready to hand it over when a shrub moved.
I should have known.
The shrub was the trap. Men dressed in camouflage stood up, heavy artillery aimed at my convoy. I hadn’t noticed the kid pull out the rifle from behind the tatters of his robes.
My buddy had saved my ass with a plug in his head.
After that everything rushed by in a blur.
I’d shot and killed one. They’d killed three of ours. Thankfully, we’d been able to take out the one holding the rocket launcher.
After the dust had cleared I realized I may have killed one, but I had the blood of four on my hands.
“He died.”
A tiny tremble runs through her chin.
“Did you do it?”
“No, but I might as well have.”
After that there’s no more talking and at some point I know I’ve fallen asleep. When I wake up, she’s crawled down beside me, spooning her body as close to mine as possible.
Something warm flutters in the center of my chest.
And it scares the living hell out of me.
Chapter 12
Liliana
There’s something hard beneath me and my neck is throbbing.
“Good morning,” his silky voice rumbles straight through my chest.
Somehow I’d ended up draped across him. My thigh wrapped around his, and my face pressed into the crook of his neck. He must have unwrapped me from the blanket and spread it across the both of us.
Grimacing, I push up, wiping the back of my hand against my mouth. Mortified to feel how wet my skin is. I really hope it’s just sweat and not drool.
“What time is it?” I croak.
He looks at his wrist that has no watch. “No clue,” he grins. “But judging from the sun, late afternoon, maybe.”
“Oh.” I grab my head, rolling my neck to work out the kinks. “I’ve got to get home. My mother’s probably worried. And Javi,” I mutter, feeling like the world’s worst mom.
How could I have just forgotten him that way?
Grumbling, I look around for my shoes.
“Lily,” he grabs my hand and I can’t stop the thrill that rushes through me at the sound of my name on his lips, “I had Alex call about an hour ago.”
“Why didn’t you wake me up?”
It wasn’t his fault I’d acted like a complete idiot, but I never drop the ball. Never, and I can’t believe I’d done it now.
“She told him to let you sleep, that you hadn’t gotten much in days.” His voice is soft, understanding and my shoulders slump.
“Of course she would.”
Scooting up on the couch, he stretches legs that snap and pop. I can’t feel more horrible, he must be sore from holding me so long. What had I been thinking?
Heat floods the tips of my ears.
“She worries about you. It’s nice actually.”
I huff.
“Hey, it’s okay. Really. Even supermom’s deserve breaks every once in a while.”
“Supermom? Hardly.” I look around for my shoes, finally spotting them by the door. “Ditching my son to dance the night away and sleep on top of you is hardly supermom material.”
His big arms wrap around my waist as I bend to retrieve my heels. Squealing, I slap his forearms.
“Ryan, put me down. I’m heavy.”
Dropping a kiss on my cheek, he steps back. “Heavy no. But I do have morning breath and I don’t exactly want that to be the last memory you have of me. Give me a sec to clean up and then I’ll take you back. Okay?”
I watch him walk off, his bare back flexing with each step. He is gorgeous, every plane, every dip perfectly sculpted. He has a fighter’s body and my fingers itch to trace each and every line of it.
My legs tingle and my breasts grow heavy, I groan. Why is it that every time I look at him he starts to look better and better?
Blowing out the sexual frustration, I plop onto the black recliner and slip my shoes on.
“So you took the whole ‘mi casa es su casa’ kinda seriously, huh?” Alex drops onto the couch.
I’m happy to see the fro gone. Though he’s still wearing the bell bottoms and, just like his cousin, no shirt. He has washboard abs, but the appeal is definitely not the same.
“Shut up. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
Slapping the cushion between his legs, he looks over his shoulder toward the sound of rushing water in the bathroom. “I haven’t seen him smile so much in years.”
Crossing my legs, a trickle of warmth flows liquid and cool through my pulse, filling my ears with thunder and my stomach with feathery flutters.
“I’m not really sure what we’re doing, Alex.”
“Do you like him?”
Yes. A lot. I think about him all the time.
I shrug, those thoughts are my own. “I think so.”
He smiles. “I’ve got a good feeling about you, Lily Bean. I always have. Just whatever you do… don’t hurt him.”
With those words ringing heavy in my ears, Ryan exits the door. He has on a shirt, and I’m not gonna pretend… I miss the abs.
“What kind of lies are you telling her about me?” He eyes Alex, than looks back at me. “Don’t believe any of it.”
Standing, I hold out my hand for his. “Don’t worry, I never do.”
“Hey, you wound me.” Alex grabs his chest and tosses a pillow at Ryan, but he manages to close the door before it actually hits him.
“When can I see you again?” He asks, and I turn my face, I still haven’t brushed my teeth.
I feel disgusting and gross. I need a shower, a brush, and some food.
“How about tonight?”
Walking to the car door, he unlocks it. Getting inside, I cover my mouth with the back of my hand. “Can’t. Have to work.”
“Pink lady?”
I nod.
His smile grows wide. “Maybe I’ll pop by later with Alex.”
Butterflies kiss the inside of my belly. “I’d like that. What are you doing tomorrow night? I’ve got the night off.”
Turning down the road, he heads the few blocks toward my house. “Training. Hey, maybe you might want to come check it out?”
“See you fight?”
“Yeah?”
I don’t know a lot about MMA, though I’ll definitely start to look up fights. But I do know one thing, and that’s that there isn’t much clothes on while they do it. Just a baggy pair of shorts. I eye his lap and can’t stop the smirk from twisting my lips.
“What are you looking at?” He flashes that dimple that makes my toes curl.
Turning onto my street, I wet my lips. “Trying to imagine you in just a pair of shorts.”
“Vixen.” His eyes twinkle. “So is that a yes?”
Parking, I grab the door handle. “Pick me up.” Then blowing him an air kiss I run out and up the steps, flinging my door open and never pausing to look back.
I know my cheeks are flushed and my knees are as soft as hot butter. Clutching my fist to my beating chest, I watch him drive off.
“You look very happy, mija.”
Twirling, I slam myself into mama, kissing her soft brow. “I am, mama.”
“Ryan?”
Nibbling on a corner of my lip, I nod.
She pats my cheek. “Good.”
***
Ryan
I watch her as she moves between customers. She smiles and chats, but her eyes rarely stray from mine. As if she needs reassurance that I’m really there.
I can’t believe this is happening. A part of me keeps expecting to wake up any moment and realize it’d all been a glorious, fucked up dream.
The lights are low and red, the music is chaotically soulful and behind me a woman is dancing with nothing on but a pair of tights, pasties, and a feather boa. But that show can’t compare to the one in front of me.
Lily’s dressed in tight, tight jeans that hug her lean curves fiercely. She’s wearing a shirt with the name: Pink Lady etched on the front. The sleeves are rolled up; exposing a lean expanse of feminine muscle, and a knot’s tied into the back, turning it into a belly shirt.
Her hair is up in a ponytail and there are sparkles in it. Every once in a while I’ll catch a glint of them in the light. She’d even put on make-up tonight.
Lily without face paint, gorgeous, but with it… she’s a walking wet dream.
I smile as she heads toward my end of the bar.
“You’re not watching the show,” she breathes.
Sweat drips into the hollow of her neck, her scent of flowers makes me dizzy.