“Yes, I am.”
She bites her lips and shifts on the balls of her feet. “Alex is dancing. You should too, it’s probably boring to just sit and watch me.”
“Nah,” I lean back, “I’ve got all the food groups in front of me. Nuts, soda, and,” I stare at the plate of stuff she’d sat on the bar, not really sure what it is, I haven’t touched it yet, “a plate of fungus.”
Slapping my chest, she giggles. “Those are stuffed mushrooms, and they’re really good. I love them.”
“Ah. Okay.” I swipe one up and pop it into my mouth, chewing and making the obligatory mmm mmm noises.
“Good?”
I swallow. “Not as good as the hot woman in front of me.”
“Damn, that’s thick. And desperate. Definitely desperate.” Alex’s heavy arm drapes across my shoulders.
Growling, I shove him off. He laughs and taps the bar. “Another
Long Island
, Lily Bean, and make it snappy.”
“Jeez, I’ve never been that impatient with you. Hold your horses, Haus.”
Winking at me, she walks back to the bar.
I hadn’t known whether I really should have come tonight. After I’d driven off I realized I’d invited myself, but last night hadn’t been enough. The second she’d left I’d wanted to see her. It was a fucking sickness. What if she’s doesn’t feeling the same way?
“Here,” I push the plate at Alex. The human garbage disposal will eat anything.
“What’s that?” He picks at the brown lumps.
“Stuffed mushrooms.”
Shrugging, he pops two in his mouth.
A pretty redhead with huge tits walks up to him, wrapping her hands around his eyes. He always knows how to pick them.
Easy on the eyes and easy period.
He nips her fingers.
“I’m bored,” she pouts and then glances at me, eyeballing me up and down before zooming into my lap and eyeing my dick. “Who’s your friend?”
Lip curling with disgust, I turn in my seat. “Not interested.”
Jaw dropping, she snaps her fists onto her hips. “Asshole.”
Alex frowns. “Go back to the dance floor and wait for me like a good little girl, Sherry Bear.”
Tweaking the tip of his nose, she shoots me another dirty look and then flounces off.
“You really gonna tap that, man?”
Alex shrugs. “I don’t know, thinking about it. She asked.”
That kind of stuff, it had never really appealed to me before. I’d slept around, but it always left me empty and now I know why. The meaningless fucks I’d always thought I wanted had been a lie I’d told myself.
Lily’s ruining me.
Alex claps my shoulder. “Let me know when you’re ready to leave, K?”
Liliana returns then, leaning over the counter she nuzzles my cheek. My heart speeds.
Smirking, Alex saunters back into the crowd.
“What was that girl saying to you?”
“What?” I turn my face so our lips are nothing more than a feather’s wisp apart, her sweet strawberry breath moves across me and I inhale. “You jealous?”
Grabbing the corners of my face, she presses her lips to mine. It’s a short kiss, but hot. Her tongue slips against mine and I purr in the back of my throat.
When she pulls back I’m panting.
Smug, she cocks her hip. “No. I’m not.”
Chapter 13
Liliana
The next day at four my doorbell rings. I’m sitting on the carpet, reading a comic to Javi when Ade answers it.
My heart clogs my throat when I hear his voice.
Grin fracturing my face, I turn and shoot to my feet. “You’re early.”
Dressed in black workout shorts and shirt, Ryan shrugs. His hair is damp looking, and hanging around his face. He looks sweaty and yummy and my stomach bottoms out.
“Never really been good with time,” his whiskey drawl plucks at my heartstrings. Taking in my appearance he rocks back on his heels. “Love the look.”
I wag my finger at him. “I wasn’t expecting you until later, jerk.”
I’m still wearing my sleep clothes, and not my sexy ones either. Gray sweatpants that read juicy on my butt, and a white tank top with tiny pink hearts all over it. I’m also wearing my glasses, something I rarely use. But I don’t always like putting on contacts. My hair isn’t much better. I hadn’t brushed it out today, just gathered in into a messy bun. I look awful.
“Now you get to see me ugly, not fair.”
“Think you look adorable.”
Glancing down at the carpet, I don’t hear my mother motor into the room.
“Ryan, hello. Good to see you again.”
She will never admit it, but I know she’d had a bad night last night. I’d lain in my bed for hours hearing her whimpers. Mama’s a proud Panamanian woman, very old world. She’d grown up country poor. Eventually my grandmother Nana had married an American G.I. and they’d all come over to the states. Mama had seen a lot of hardship in her life, but her brave smile always makes me feel like anything’s possible. Even now, as the disease ravages her body and leaves her skin waxy and ashen, I still hold out hope because she’s still around, still loving me, still here.
Her fingers tremble as she holds her hand out to him.
Dropping to a knee in front of her, he takes and kisses it. “Thanks, Ms. Delgado.”
“Oh,” she squeals, waggling her brows at me. Dark circles rim her eyes. “Call me, Mama, okay.”
Turning on his heel, he looks at me and I can’t even begin to describe what I’m feeling. My heart’s so full I think it’ll burst. Never in my life could I have expected the night I saved him that I’d be here now, watching as he makes my mother smile a real smile, laugh a real laugh, and glow like she hasn’t glowed in years.
Something suspiciously like tears clogs my throat and I have to clear it loudly.
“Okay, Mama,” he finally says.
“Now,” she nods, “you taking my girl out?”
“Actually, I have two hours before practice, I just came by to hang out, if that’s okay.”
Overwhelmed, I twirl on my heels and run to my room. I know I must look crazy to them, but it’s either that or start crying like a baby.
Trembling, I lean against the door and count slowly to ten.
I like Ryan. A lot.
In fact, I’m terrified I might already be falling in love with him. But isn’t this too soon? How do you actually know it’s love? After the first date? First kiss? First time making love?
My stomach tickles and I slide down the door, hanging my head between my knees. This isn’t how I’d planned my life. After Javi I’d fought to make everything structured. Finish school, graduate with honors. Win a scholarship, go to college. Now I’m getting ready to enter my senior year. Love isn’t part of this plan.
Not yet anyway, love comes later. After college, after I find a job and buy a house to move Mama into, a big one with handicap accessibility. Then maybe, when life slows down, when I’m settled and right, then I’ll look for love.
A knock rattles my door. “Lily?”
It’s Ryan.
Sniffling, I crawl to my bed and pulling myself up, sit on the edge of it. “I’ve got to take a shower. Get dressed. You surprised me.”
A long pause. “Should I go?”
My heart clenches and I know I can’t continue talking through the door. Getting up, I walk to the door and open it. Startled, his eyes widen and then he claps his hands on the frame.
Tugging on his shirt, I yank him inside and slam it shut, shoving him against the wall and wrapping my body against his. Leaning up on tiptoe, I kiss him.
Throwing all my passion, all my fears, all my questions into it.
My body lights up like a firecracker, my nipples pucker tight against his chest. He moans and so do I. When I pull back we’re both breathless.
“What was that?”
I swallow what I’m really feeling. The terror of the unknown, the desire, and need and tell him the only thing that makes sense.
“Thank you.”
He frowns.
I smile and nuzzle his neck, delighting when I feel his skin tighten. His woodsy musk wrecks delicious havoc with my equilibrium.
“Thank you for being you,” I whisper again and kiss his chest, right above the spot of his heart.
***
Watching him move in the ring is like watching poetry in motion. He’s smooth, silky. Switching his feet, feinting to the right, to the left, fully concentrated on the fists flying at his face.
Sweat coats his back and abs, glistens on his flesh and my pulse roars. He is so beautiful. And yes, I was right… stripped down to nothing but a pair of shorts, abs rippling as he flexes and rolls on the mat with his partner… Sexy. As. Hell.
I’m the only girl in the gym, which at first had made me feel a little awkward. But the guys stopped gawking the moment they’d gotten down to business.
I can’t stop looking at him. Studying the intensity on his face as he moves, the way he grunts when a knee connects with his gut, or the guttural sound that rumbles through his chest when he works to pin his partner to the mat.
After the kiss this morning, I’d gone and showered. Trying not to think about what I’d done, what I’d almost told him.
Throwing on a blue jean skirt and flower crop top, I’d walked out to find him sitting on the carpet reading to Javi.
I’d had to cover my mouth with my hand to refrain from laughing as he’d begun acting out the parts, throwing in grunts and groans and moans, modulating his voice to mimic a fight.
Javi had trembled beside him, the tiniest smile lacing his little lips.
And for a second the demon of doubt had returned. Was it right to bring Ryan into his life? To expose Javi to a man who might not stick around?
But in that moment it’d felt so perfect, I couldn’t have denied him that. Not for all the money, or stupid life plans in the world.
***
Ryan
Unwrapping the white gauze from my wrists I stare at her.
Noah, my partner, claps me on the back. “Damn man, thought you were gonna make me tap there for a second.”
Snorting, I roll a twinge out of my left shoulder. “I thought about it. Had you in that Kimora.”
“Yeah, you had my ass.” Noah rubs a cut under his brow, wiping up the small bead of blood with his thumb and licking it off his lip. “She with you?” He nods at Lily.
My heart swells, feeling too big for my chest.
“Yeah.”
“Ah well,” he shrugs, “too bad.”
Her flowery smell is all over me as she leans over the rope. “You did good.”
I press my thumb to her lips and she kisses it. “Thanks. Hey, man, this is Liliana. Lili, Noah.”
Reaching into his bag, Noah slips on his glasses, yanks off his gloves, and wiping his palms on his shorts, shakes her hand.
“Hi,” she says, releasing his hand quickly and stepping closer to me.
Shrugging on an oversized burgundy sweater, Noah grunts. “Hey you sure you wanna hang with him? He’s a rotten bastard.”
She laughs and hugs my waist. “Yeah, I think I’ll keep him.”
Feeling the need to mark my turf, I turn and yank her into me, laying one on her like she’d done me earlier, delighting in the mewl that spills from her lips.
“Ah fuck,” Noah rolls his eyes, “like a dog on a hydrant. Yeah, fine, I get it.” He smirks a gap-toothed grin. “Good meeting you, Liliana.”