Authors: Brenda Kennedy
“
It’s a result of the lack
of communication between us and them. I have done as you asked,
against my better judgment, and this is their
retaliation.”
“
And you think you should
have been compliant with their demands every time they called?” I
ask in a calmer tone than I would usually
use.
“
Civil, yes. I explained
to you that we need to keep the upper hand when it comes to
Madison. You have her; now we need to keep her.”
“
Set up an appointment
with them and let’s see what they want.”
“
Okay, and Drake, if you
don’t let me do my job, you’ll lose her, forever.”
I nob and that is my dismissal to him. I
watch as he stands to leave and I say just before he opens the
door, “Ryland?” He turns to look at me and I say slow, steady, and
in a firm voice, “You do what you have to. You dig deep and find
any dirt you can on Leah and on her husband, Bobby. I WILL NOT lose
Madison.”
He nods and walks out the
door.
Robert
Leah and I have been alternating rooms for
her to lie in. She goes from the bedroom, family room, and the
patio. I watch as she looks in the nursery every time we walk by.
Strict doctor instructions prohibit Leah from standing or sitting
for any length of time.
As soon as we are in bed, I open up the
laptop and Google chaise lounge. Soon the screen is covered with
images of fainting couch, recliners, and lounge chairs. “What are
you looking for?” Leah asks.
“
I thought we could get
you a chaise for the baby’s room. Maybe you can start to spend some
time in there. Let our daughter get used to her
room.”
“
We would love that,” Leah
admits. “Can you go to Coconis Furniture so we can see what they
have?”
“
Never heard of it, but
whatever you want.”
“
Thank you. Sara and Brea
were talking about it awhile back. It’s a non-franchise,
family-owned and operated furniture store in their hometown. From
what they were saying, their furniture is better quality than any
place around here.” We shop and Leah decides on a sage green color
chaise.
Leah and I talk some about Madison and I
don’t tell her that I had Bruce file for full custody of her. She
gets upset every time Madison or the Sinclairs are mentioned. I’ll
need to tell her sometime, but not now. She’ll either be upset
or…she’ll be upset. Leah and her pregnancy hormones, I’m sure Leah
won’t be happy. It’s best I wait to tell her.
I watch Leah sleep and I find comfort in
knowing she and the baby are safe. I thank God and talk to Jamie
and tell her that Leah and the baby have made it through another
day of pregnancy. One day at a time, I keep reminding
myself.
The next morning Mom comes
over and stays with Leah while I go to
Upper Cut
for my workout. I run to
the cemetery first before I run across town to the gym. “The Eye of
the Tiger” blasts through my ear drums and the adrenaline rushes
through my veins. It is an incredible
feeling.
As I run I see someone standing at the
entrance of a vacant parking lot. I slow down as I get closer to
him and I stop when I realize it’s Drake Sinclair. I remove the
earbuds from my ears and walk the short distance to where he
stands. He is wearing a midnight black suit, crisp white shirt and
a black tie. His Rolex watch sparkles in the sunlight with every
twist of his wrist. He looks like a powerful man. If I weren’t
Robert Grether, I might be intimidated by him, but I’m
not.
“
Bobby,” Drake says
curtly.
“
Drake.”
“
Do you have a minute?” he
asks.
I look around and the only car I see in the
vacant parking lot is a black Mercedes. “Sure, what’s on your
mind?”
He starts walking away from the street and in
the direction of his car. He begins by saying, “I received some
paperwork the other day from the Clerk of Courts.”
“
I see my attorney is
doing what I’m paying him to do.”
“
You’re suing us for full
custody?”
I stop walking and take my stance before
saying, “I have a daughter and I want to know her.”
He turns to face me and says, “And where is
my daughter?” I don’t say anything — what can I say? I see a twitch
in his jaw before he says, “Madison is my daughter and don’t you
ever forget it.”
I take a step closer and
say, “Madison is
my
daughter and I’m coming for her.”
Drake also takes a step closer, puffs his
chest out and whispers, “Over my dead body.” He turns to leave and
I watch him drive off.
I get to
Upper Cut
later than I
intended to. When I walk in, Dad, Tim, and Gus are already there. I
nod before I go to the water cooler and rehydrate. Looking around
the room, I can see my sparring partner is ready and waiting for me
in the ring. Dad and Tim tape my hands and glove me up as Gus
instructs me and coaches me on my boxing
technique.
After 12 solid rounds in the ring, I pretend
that the punching bag is Drake Sinclair, instead of Abel Kennedy.
Recently I haven’t worked out nearly enough and I almost forgot
what a stress reliever it is. The lights flicker off and on and
it’s my cue to shower up. I don’t run home tonight, Dad takes me.
We stop by and pick up Italian food for dinner. I’m happy to see
Mom and Leah laughing and having a good time when we get
there.
Mom places all the food on the coffee table
and I get the plates and silverware. It looks like a small
buffet-style dinner. We all have dinner together and I don’t
mention my encounter with Drake this morning. In fact, we don’t
mention my workout either.
When everything is cleaned up and my parents
leave, Leah and I go to bed. “I got an e-mail saying the chaise
lounge was shipped,” Leah says excitedly.
“
That’s great. It’ll give
you another room to
hang out
in.”
“
I think I’ll like
to
hang out
in
there,” she giggles. “She’s a nice and relaxing room,” she says,
seriously.
“
That it is. I think we
need to add some pink in there. You know, make it a girl’s room
for… ‘her,’” I say, using air quotes.
She laughs. “She really does need a name. I
think pink will go well with the sage green color that’s in there.
I also think that once we start using pink clothing and pink
blankets it’ll be a lot of pink.”
“
It’s a good thing I like
pink,” I tease.
She snuggles into him and says, “Yes, it is.
Maybe one day you’ll have a reason to like blue.”
Leah
Robert kisses my forehead and says, “I love
blue.” We never discussed having another baby after this one. I
think if we knew about the baby swap before this pregnancy, I never
would have conceived this baby. Jamie would have certainly been our
one and only child. We always wanted a big family and although that
is no longer our wish, I would like to give Robert a son. I’d like
to give myself a son, too.
Robert avoids all conversations about Madison
and about his upcoming fight with Kennedy. There are things I want
to know, yet there is never a good time to ask. Every time I think
about asking, this baby starts kicking me like crazy. I know the
baby can feel my emotions, so I do my best to remain calm with
peaceful thoughts. The dark cloud still hovers, but it’s at a
distance. It’s just waiting for the time and place it can swoop in
and claim me. I’m keeping my eye on it, making sure it stays
away.
“
Story time?” Robert
asks.
“
Yes,
please.”
He picks up Jamie’s bedtime book and removes
the bookmark. “Tonight we have ‘Lady and the Tramp.’”
“
I loved that movie when I
was little.”
“
Really,” he
asks.
“
I did. Mom, Dad, and I
watch it all the time. I think Mom liked it as much as I
did.”
“
Well, let’s take you back
to your childhood. Shall we?”
“
Yes, please and thank
you.” I pull the covers up, fold them over, and flatten them out
before he begins reading.
“
Comfortable?”
“
As comfortable as I’m
going to get.”
Later that night I get up
to pee. It’s one of the few times that Robert doesn’t wake up. I
try to get up out of bed without disturbing his light snoring. I
waddle the short distance to the bathroom and realize my panties
are wet. I knew I had to pee, but I didn’t think I had to go that
bad.
Another great side effect of
pregnancy. I may need to wear Depends before this pregnancy is
over.
I sit on the toilet and scream when
I see the amount of blood on my panties. It’s not just on my
panties, it’s on my nightgown and running down my
legs.
Robert rushes in and he doesn’t say anything.
He doesn’t have to. I can see the fear spread across his face.
“Stay here,” he says before he disappears back into the bedroom. I
can hear him talking to someone and I hope it’s a 911 operator. I
try to wipe the blood away, but the toilet paper isn’t enough. I’ll
need a towel for all of this blood. I begin to cramp and squint my
eyes shut and try to breathe through it. I also attempt to do a
Kegel exercise thinking it might hold the baby in.
“
Are you cramping?” he
asks from the doorway?
“
Yes,” I say through
gritted teeth.
When the conversation is over and my
contraction has stopped, I yell for Robert. He is already dressed
and is on the phone again. “I need a wet towel,” I say looking at
the blood that is everywhere from above my knees to my waist. “I
also need a new nightgown.” I barely get the words out before I get
another contraction.
He disappears and I can no
longer focus on anything but the intense pain.
The baby is coming.
There is no way
they’ll be able to stop the contractions this time. I’m almost 30
weeks pregnant. Better than 27 weeks but it’s still too early to
deliver. I pray in between contractions and try to breathe through
the contractions.
Robert wipes my legs off with a warm wet
towel and tells me calmly that it’ll be all right. He removes my
bloodied nightgown and replaces it with a clean one. When the
contraction stops, I finally open my eyes. “Did you call Mom and
Dad?”
“
I did, I also called my
parents. They are going to meet us at the hospital. If the
ambulance doesn’t hurry, I’ll drive you to the hospital
myself.”
“
This is all my fault,” I
cry.
“
Baby, don’t say that.
This isn’t anyone’s fault.” He kisses me tenderly and wipes away my
tears.
I can hear the ambulance sirens outside and
Robert disappears.
Robert
“
She’s upstairs in the
bathroom.”
“
How far are her
contractions apart?” One of the two medics
ask.
“
Shit! I have no idea.
She’s bleeding a lot, I do know that!”
I lead them up the stair and into the
bathroom where Leah is. I notice a copious amount of blood around
the toilet that I didn’t see earlier. “Did you try to get up,
Leah?” I ask.
“
No, I haven’t moved. I
can’t!” She cries some more.
We have a large house and the gurney made it
up the stairs with any problems, but the bathroom is a lot smaller.
“Can you give us some room?” someone asks me.
“
I’ll be right on the
other side of the door if you need me,” I say to Leah before I step
out of the room to give them some space. I’m out of the way, but
still close enough, if Leah needs me. They ask her several
questions before they move her from the toilet onto the gurney. I
watch helplessly as they start an IV in her left hand and check her
vital signs. I hear someone call out some numbers and watch as the
other one writes them down. I have no idea what they mean and I
don’t ask. I want to focus solely on Leah and the baby.
Oh, God! My baby! Leah could deliver the baby
today. I’ll be a Dad. I can’t be a Dad. I failed Jamie as a father
and what if I fail this child as a father,
too?
I back up and sit on the bed. I remember the
accident that claimed Jamie and how it feels like it’s my fault. I
should have protected her. I should have saved her.
“
Sir.” I look up when I
hear a male’s voice. “We won’t have room in the ambulance for you.
Are you okay to drive yourself to the hospital?”
I stand up and say, “I'm all right. Take her
to Lakewood Ranch Hospital.”
“
Manasota Hospital is
closer…” he begins to say.
I follow them out of the bedroom and down the
hallway. “I said to take her to Lakewood Ranch.” That came out as
harsh as I intended it to.
As they open the back door of the ambulance,
I kiss Leah and tell her I love her. I also tell her everything
will be all right and that I will see her soon. As I kiss her wet
cheeks, I try to hold myself together for her. I’m falling apart
beneath the surface and I don’t want her to see it. She cries and
kisses me back with trembling lips. When she cries out in pain, I
know that she has another contraction.
When the ambulance pulls out of the driveway,
I back out of the garage and follow them. I turn on my flashers so
everyone on the road knows that I am with the ambulance in front of
me. If he goes through a red light, so do I. I try to clear my
thoughts but it’s useless. I call Mom and tell her we are on our
way. I also try to fill her in on what I know, which isn’t much.
Next, I call Sue and tell her the same thing.