All New Letters From a Nut (26 page)

We could pick Pulpy up at the airport and drive him to the Marriott where he can stay in the room with Frank.

We will do his laundry, then send it back to him.

Please advise on usage of Pulpy for our ads. If I have not reached the correct division can you please tell me so? I was told this is where I write to.

Thank you very much. I enjoy Bluebird grapefruits. They are good in a high chair. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Respectfully,

Full text of the above letter to follow.

Blue Bird, Inc.
(509)782–1216
Fax (509) 782–1818
P.O. Box 378
Peshastin, WA 98847

Ted L. Nancy
560 N. Moorpark Rd.
Suite #236
Thousand Oaks, CA 91360

Dear Mr. Nancy:

Blue Bird, Inc. received your letters addressed to our plants located at 1470 Walla Walla Ave., Wenatchee, WA 98801 and at 10135 Mill Road, Peshastin, WA 98847. Your letters referenced the use of a grapefruit mascot “PULPY” for your proposed advertising campaign. Unfortunately, you haven’t reached the correct Blue Bird, Inc. and we have no idea as to how to help you reach the correct Blue Bird.

We do wish you success in your pursuit.

Sincerely,

Rhonda Stevens

Full text of the above letter to follow.

1413 1/2 Kenneth Rd. #193
Glendale, CA 91201

May 19, 2009

Customer Help
TIME LIFE MUSIC
Po Box 4002011
Des Moines, Iowa 50340–2011

Dear Time Life Music:

I ordered Time Life Music’s CRUNCHING NOISES OF THE 60’S. I have not received it to date. I order a lot of music and this is the first time it did notarrive.

I understand this comes with a bonus album of “SLAPPING SOUNDS OF THE SEVENTIES” and I have not received that yet either. Where is it? I have enjoyed many hours of your Time Life Music. Currently I am listening to clapping and applauding all day long. I use it for a play I am in where I shout out “Andy” in a Greece Hotel lobby.

Please reply and tell me where my order is. Please send me a catalog. Thank you.

Sincerely,

F.D. Nancy (MR)

Full text of the above letter to follow.

CUSTOMER CARE

7:00 am – 11:00 pm EST, 7 days a week

English
800–846–3543
TimeLife.com

Español
800–882–0024
TimeLifeEspanol.com

Canadian
800–828–8565
TimeLife.ca

May 29, 2009

F D Nancy
#193
1413 1/2 Kenneth Rd
Glendale CA 91201–1478

Account #: TML/TLU

Dear F D Nancy:

Thank you for contacting Time Life.

Thank you for your recent interest in our products. Unfortunately, we did not receive your order, and we are sorry to inform you that Crunching Noises is not one of our products.

We do not have a catalog available. If you have questions about a specific product, please contact our Customer Service Center.

If you have any questions, please contact our Customer Service Center.

A. Davis
Customer Care

109148093152002/MD00

Full text of the above letter to follow.