Anathema (2 page)

“Spoil sport,” he mouths, suddenly stepping
forward so I almost fall. It’s only him holding me that keeps me on
my feet, and as I’m dangling from his arm, his broad, undaunted
smile making me wish I could trip him, but even if I did, that
would probably be because he let me, not because I was really all
that fast or tricky. Sometimes it’s tough having a supernatural
boyfriend.

“You ready to go?” he asks, hoisting me
upright. The basket almost topples my balance, so he quickly wraps
his arm around me to help stabilize me.

“No, I want to stand here all day,” I mutter.
He puts me down and I stride toward his truck.

He follows and opens my door so I can slide
the basket onto the floor and get in. Although I can tell by his
frown he’s wondering what’s up between me and Griffin, he’s good
enough to wait until we at least pull out of the driveway and head
to the lake before bringing it up.

“So what’s going on?” He stares ahead
casually, like that’s going to help.

I want to tell him it depends on who he’s
asking, but I know what he’ll say, so I shake my head. What Lev
really wants to know is if there is something going on with me. So
not going there. Instead, I think we really need to talk about
Griffin and his dreams. Yeah, that definitely seems a more suitable
topic.

“Things are really kind of tense, that’s
all.”

“What do you mean?” I feel his gaze wander my
way. He’s still pulling off that casual demeanor, which isn’t like
Lev at all.

“I’m worried about him, and he knows it.”

Now he’s flat out staring, his eyebrows
bunched together as a frown spreads across his face. “Okay,
Elizabeth, let’s just get to it. Why are you worried?” He’d
probably keep staring if he didn’t have to steer.

“Yesterday I saw that he was having a
nightmare and so I woke him up. I could tell he was freaking out,
and when he told me what he was dreaming about, I understood
why.”

“Which is?”

“He’s dreaming Jayzee is still alive.”

Lev’s foot falters on the accelerator, and he
flinches. “That’s not possible.”

I shake my head. “I know you believe that,
but after watching him closely these past months and realizing he’s
not much better than right after I used the dagger, it does seem
like Jayzee might still be alive. Lev, he still has feelings for
her, and that shouldn’t be.” I swallow hard and watch his fingers
cinch the wheel.

“It can’t be,” he mutters, shaking his head,
but judging by his tone and the way he’s staring, I know the
comment isn’t really meant for me.

“There’s more,” I add meekly.

Lev’s ocean eyes glare at me, and I know he
really doesn’t want to hear this. He wants things to keep going the
way they have been as much as I do, but I don’t think that’s going
to be possible.

“Okay, what is it now?”

“I think I saw Sarah walking down my this
morning.” I don’t realize I’m holding my breath until I finally
exhale. “I know you don’t want to hear this.”

“You’re right. I don’t,” he snaps. “That
dagger almost killed you, Elizabeth, and it was supposed to have
cleaned house when it came to the evil angels, but from what you’re
telling me, we might just be back at square one again, fighting
Kane and Colin, which I am so not looking forward to.”

A shiver runs through me as I think about
Kane finding me again. I don’t think I could bear that. “Don’t you
think if Kane were alive I’d sense him or something?” It’s the only
thing I can think of which gives me hope. After all, Griffin senses
Jayzee, meaning the connection must still be in place. Shouldn’t it
work like that with Kane?

“I don’t know. The fact that Kane managed to
connect with you at all, considering how strong our connection had
been, astounded me so I can’t rule out the possibility that he’s
here somewhere off the radar.”

He parks the truck in front of a copse of
trees just before the beach area, and I think we’re both relieved
there are no other cars, meaning we’ll have the place to ourselves.
Granted, it’s September and well past swimming season when this
area is usually packed beyond belief. Still, even in autumn, there
are usually at least a few people around so privacy isn’t possible.
Today must be our lucky day. Yeah, right.

The stiffness starts in my shoulders and
seizes my whole body in a matter of minutes as I try to wrap my
head around our conversation without panicking. I can’t face Kane
again. Period. I don’t have it in me. Without realizing it, I start
shaking and can’t stop.

As Lev pulls the keys from the ignition, he
sees my ashen face and freezes. “Elizabeth, you okay?”

“Yeah,” I manage, but my voice is all wrong,
and I feel light-headed.

“Calm down,” he soothes, wrapping his arm
around me, and the minute I feel his touch, I cave in toward him,
my head falling into its usual spot just beneath his chin. I think
I’m so shell-shocked by this whole thing I can’t cry. Nothing will
come out except the violent shaking that keeps me from
speaking.

“I know you’re scared,” he says, “but you
don’t have to be. Last time you felt like you were fighting him all
by yourself. You weren’t alone then, and you sure aren’t alone now.
Besides, we don’t even know for sure Kane survived. Before you
panic, we need to confirm as much.”

“How?” My voice shakes, just like my body.
“How can we know for sure?”

“Evan. He can sense these things.” Lev tilts
his head and kisses my temple.

“But Evan isn’t here.” The shaking is worse,
and Lev embraces me more tightly; I feel the heated light that
emanates from his body, the white noise of it helping purge the
panic, and a moment later, all I can think about is Lev.

I don’t know how long we stay wrapped in each
other like that, but when he finally pulls away, I feel strong
enough so the fear isn’t so overwhelming and I can meet his probing
blue eyes.

“Are you sure it was Sarah? Think carefully.”
One of his hands slips over mine, and I feel his fingers softly
caressing my skin.

I close my eyes and think back to the moment
when I saw the blonde ambling down my street. “She was facing the
opposite direction, so I can’t be positive. I just…felt it was
her.”

Lev nods. “All right. Until Evan returns, we
can’t rule out that it wasn’t Sarah, so we need to be careful and
watch for Kane and Colin as well, just in case. I’m not as worried
about Jayzee and Sarah because without the others, they have no
great source of power or strength.”

Although he sounds so assured of that, I can
still see the hard line of his shoulders and the clench of his jaw,
as though he can’t relax either.

“What will happen if they are here?”

Lev takes a deep breath and lets it go.
“Truthfully, I have no idea. I need to talk to Evan. He’ll know
what to do.” He nods toward the lake. “Anyway, didn’t we come here
to have a picnic?”

I nod and open my door, and together we head
for the beach wrapped in each other’s arms. Lev carries the basket,
probably knowing it is safer with him because he isn’t nearly as
likely to trip over his own two feet.

“I missed you last night,” he whispers in my
ear, giving me a shy smile.

“I know the feeling.” I stare ahead, watching
as the trees give way to a clearing white with sand, and I smile.
I’ve always liked this spot. I mean, it’s the same lake as where we
were at yesterday, just on the other side--but what I love about it
today is that the birds circle overhead lazily, cooing at our
arrival as the water gently laps the sandy shore.

The minute we leave the rocky path and touch
sand, my sandals are off and in my hand so I can feel the coolness
beneath my feet. As I get my first glimpse of the shoreline, I
propel myself from Lev’s arm toward the shore where sand and water
meet. Yeah, I know the water is going to be cold, but I don’t care.
I love the feel of wet sand over my feet. Nothing else in this
world relaxes me the way water does.

Although I tense when I feel the cold, I
don’t back up, knowing if I just give it a moment, my body will
adjust. And it does. Still, Lev stands on the shore, the basket in
one hand as he stares at me, grinning at my lunacy.

I stare at my wriggling toes, suddenly
feeling very refreshed. “Come on in.” That smile is so rare. I
beckon him to join me.

He looks down at his sneakers and jeans. “I’m
not exactly dressed for this….” He shakes his head ruefully. “I
didn’t know that during a picnic you would want to play in the cold
water. It is September….”

“I know! Now come on!” I wave again, harder,
more determined, thinking if I just keep trying, he’ll eventually
come.

“All right,” he finally agrees, setting the
basket down. “Give me a minute.” He sits amid the sand and unties
his shoes. He jerks them off, following by his socks before ambling
toward me. For the first time I realize he’s wearing a black
button-down cotton shirt that makes his skin look all the more
golden and turns his eyes a brighter blue. I didn’t think that was
possible.

Lev rolls up the legs of his jeans and
wanders down the shore. He reaches for me, wrapping his arms around
my waist, still grinning. “Happy now?”

“Of course. I’m at my favorite place with my
favorite person.”

“Glad to hear it.” He draws me closer and
slips his hands to either side of my face, gently resting there. As
usual, the nearness of him leaves my heart racing, and all I can
see is my reflection in his eyes and how I swim in them.

Lev’s lips part slightly, and I see his
Adam’s apple bob with it, feeling myself drifting toward him, a
slow stretch of nothing but him. The rest of the world has ceased
to exist, and it seems as though I’ve been waiting forever to feel
his lips upon mine; yet I’m still surprised by the feather-light
caress when it comes, and my whole body stirs with
anticipation.

We seem to linger like this forever and a
scattering of seconds at the same time when he pulls back, leaving
me waiting for more. When I finally realize he’s moved away, I open
my eyes to find him staring intently. No matter how much I might
have wished for a guy to look at me the way Lev does, I know I’ll
never be able to earn it. It’s like he sees something within me I
can’t find but want to become for him. If he believes she’s in
there, she must be, doesn’t she?

His left hand moves from my face to stroke my
hair. At that moment, I feel I can barely breathe, and I can’t stop
staring into his eyes. I lick my lips. All this feels like a dream
and, if it is, I never want to wake up.

“Why me?”

Lev blinks. “What do you mean?”

“Why me? Of all people, why was I so
lucky?”

He laughs humorlessly. “Lucky? This is lucky,
Elizabeth?”

I nod, feeling a catch in my throat as tears
prick my eyes. I never thought I would find anyone like him. “I’m
with you, aren’t I?”

He tenses and closes his eyes. When they
resurface, I find myself swimming in that ocean. He opens his
mouth, but nothing comes out, and for once he seems pale and
unsure. “Elizabeth.” His voice is like rough silk, and his mouth
twists into a frown.

I raise my hands to his lips, knowing what
he’s trying to tell me. “Shhh. Don’t say it. I am lucky. No matter
what happens, I’ll take this life with you over any other. I know
it’s right. It’s what should be.”

I try to embrace him, but he steps back, and
he seems on the verge of tears. “No, this isn’t luck. If it were, I
could protect you. What kind of an angel am I to stumble so much
and fail you at every turn? And yet you still remain. You can’t
have a normal life with me.”

“Maybe I don’t want one.” I step closer.
“This is my life, Lev. Don’t I get to pick what I want?” I reach to
hold him, but he catches my wrists.

“You’re seventeen. You haven’t had time to
discover what your heart yearns for.” His fingers start to ease as
he seeks to release me, but my hands quickly latch onto his.

“Maybe you want to believe some part of me is
a stupid teenage girl who had no choice in any of this, but you’re
wrong. I’m here, looking at the road we’ve come down and seeing
everything, every horrible dream and reality, I’d go through it
again just to get to this one moment with you. I’m seventeen,
Lev—one year away from being an adult, and I know what I want.
You.”

He flinches again, but at least this time he
doesn’t push me away. Instead, when I seek his arms, he enfolds me
in them, and those beautiful wings furl around us, closing off the
rest of the world.

Chapter Two

By Monday morning, I’m sure of one thing: the
nightmares aren’t going anywhere. For the last two weeks, I’ve
dreamed of those same angelic beings, and every night I end up
being attacked by them. While I used to wake Griffin up with them,
I guess now I’ve convinced my subconscious they’re just dreams, so
I’ve stopped talking so loudly in my sleep and Griffin usually
isn’t there when I wake in a cold sweat.

Still, no matter how “trained” my mind is to
keep quiet, these dreams are wreaking havoc with my sleep patterns
because after I see those angels trying to kill me, the last thing
I want to do is go back to sleep. I’ve thought about describing
them to Lev to see what he says, but I know that would just lead to
other questions I’m really not ready to answer. So I just try to
shrug them away as best I can in the mornings. Like today.

By the time my alarm goes off to wake me for
school, I’ve already been up four hours, staring at the walls where
moonlight paints a changing landscape of leaves from the tree
outside my window. Still, I force myself to get ready, something I
could do in my sleep and today probably am. Have I mentioned that
with such an active dream life, it’s really hard to see the point
in school?

By the time I get ready, Jimmie has already
left for work, and Griffin is still in his room, probably sleeping.
Still uncomfortable with the hold Jayzee seems to have on him even
now, I open the door a crack and peer in. For a moment, I just
watch him sleep, making sure his chest is rising and falling
evenly. Call me paranoid, but I like to make sure people are
breathing when they sleep. There’s too much that happens when you
leave things like that up to assumptions.