Anathema (6 page)

“Welcome back,” he whispers, staring at me
with those mesmerizing blue eyes.

“How long have I been out?” I start trying to
move, but he’s got one arm draped over me, and it isn’t budging,
his way of making sure I don’t exert myself.

“It’s almost midnight.” He looks at my hand.
“How does it feel?”

I shrug. “Not so bad, I guess.” I want to
tell him it doesn’t matter how much my hand hurts; it’s nothing
compared to this deep ache buried in my chest. “Where’s Evan?” I
try not to tense, but I can’t help it, not with this power that
could go off at any moment.

“Research. He’ll be back soon.” He offers me
a lazy smile.

“What if—”

Lev slips his fingers across my lips and
murmurs, “Shhhh. There’s no point in going there. If I need to,
I’ll make myself scarce, don’t worry.” He brushes my cheek softly
and moves forward so he can kiss my lips, and for that moment, when
I feel that feather-light caress, I’m lost as I can be, only with
Lev. The world around us ceases to exist, and time stops. I wish I
could remain there with him, but he gently pulls away and brushes
the hair from my eyes.

“You are beautiful, Elizabeth.”

“So you are trying to distract me, aren’t
you?” I whisper breathlessly, feeling my heart galloping in my
chest.

“No, just stating an observation.” He lays
his head so close to mine he is all I can see.

“I wish we could stay like this forever.” I
feel my body begin to tremble, and I know it’s because he’s so
near. It happens every time.

“Well, we can,” he murmurs, leaning close to
kiss me. “At least until you get hungry or have to go to the
bathroom.

I swat at him lightly, and he laughs. “Not
funny,” I say, waving a warning finger at him.

“It all depends on your perspective,
Elizabeth.” He starts to say something else when his body abruptly
stiffens and he withdraws his wings from around us to reveal Evan
sitting in the chair. A meaningful exchange of glances forces Lev
to slide his legs over the side of the bed and rise.

“What…what’s going on?” I ask, looking from
one to the other, but neither is giving anything away. The two
start to step into the hallway, but I quickly move from the
bed.

“No, you don’t. This is about me, so I get to
know what,” I demand, starting to follow.

“Elizabeth,” Lev says, stroking my face.

I bat his hand away. “Don’t try to distract
me. You want me to trust you, but I can’t do that if you won’t tell
me what’s going on.”

Evan nods. “She has a right to that.” Another
exchange of meaningful glances and they both come back into the
room. Lev and I sit on the edge of the bed as Evan takes the chair.
For a moment, we just look at one another until Evan finally clears
his throat.

“I’ve been looking for answers, Elizabeth,
but I don’t think you’re going to like what I’ve found.”

I stiffen, my back suddenly rigid. “All
right. Maybe I won’t. But not hearing it won’t change it.”

“Elizabeth, we don’t have to go here.” I hear
Lev’s voice in my thoughts, blocking everything out, and when I
look over, I see the concerned frown on his face as he sets his
hand atop mine.

“Stop it!” I snap, jerking away. “I know you
want to protect me, but the truth is you can’t. No one can. This is
how my life is right now, so I have to learn to deal.” I take a
shaky breath and turn to Evan. “Get on with it.” My voice sounds so
normal; I only wish I felt normal to match. Anything except this
emptiness.

Evan leans back and shakes his head. “I was
looking for a way to reverse the transfer, but there’s
nothing.”

“What do you mean?” I feel Lev’s hand settle
back atop mine.

“Well, there might be a way, but the only
ones who know are the angels in the triune ultimately responsible
for the dagger, and we don’t want to involve them. If they find
out, we’ll figure out a way to deal with them. But our best bet is
to continue with the original plan of training you to use the power
as best we can so the episode you experienced yesterday won’t
replay itself. That’s when it will become very dangerous for
everyone concerned, especially you, Elizabeth.” He stands and paces
toward the window. As he peels back the curtains to peer out, I see
the dark just outside. Part of me has always loved moonlight, but
part of me—the part that dreams—hates it with a passion.

“I take it these three angels aren’t very
tolerant.” I barely manage the words; the answer Evan will give
frightens me.

“They are the extreme, Elizabeth, beings who
come with a sure swiftness to cut through grey issues.”

“Are they ever wrong?” I fold my arms across
my chest and rub them, trying to feel warmer.

“Of course they can be wrong. They’re
supernatural, not perfect. We can all be wrong.” Evan whirls to
face us. “Have you learned nothing from Lev’s choices?”

Evan’s sudden burst of anger leaves me dazed
as he and Lev share yet another round of meaningful glances before
Evan departs.

I look down at my hand. “I didn’t mean to
anger him.”

Lev slips his finger under my chin and lifts
so I have to face him. “He’s not angry at you, Elizabeth. If there
is someone he blames, it’s me. He advised me to make a different
choice, and I didn’t listen.” He sighs and shakes his head.

“Do you regret your choice?”

He frowns and shakes his head. “Do you really
even need to ask? I love you, and I would do anything to keep you
safe, so there wasn’t a choice. I had to intervene. I knew what I
was doing and take full responsibility, but I’m not the one who
might be judged. You are. That troubles both Evan and me, which is
why his temperament is off.” He opens his arms, and I fall into
them.

“This is so crazy,” I whisper.

“I know.” I hear his voice rumble through his
chest, and the sound of it makes me feel safe.

“Do you regret loving me, Elizabeth?” He
speaks casually, as if either answer would be acceptable, but I
know that can’t be right. He’s trying not to feel so much, but the
pain is there all the same.

“Of course not.”

His embrace tightens, and I smile, knowing
that even though he won’t admit it, my words have eased at least
some of his pain.

For a few moments, we linger like that before
I stir from the throbbing in my hand. I look down at the gauze and
try to move my fist, but it hurts like mad.

“We should probably take a look at that and
change the dressing,” Lev says. When he sees my pale face and
horrified grimace, he shakes his head. “On second thought, I should
probably take a look at it because I really don’t want you passing
out on me.”

“Thanks,” I mutter, wishing I felt well
enough to wipe the smirk off his face. But my tone comes out as
anything but sarcastic, probably because I’m too busy looking away
while he unwraps the gauze and inspects the wound.

“How does it look?” I ask, counting the books
on the shelf just to give myself something to do.

“Like you put a knife through your hand,” Lev
says gruffly.

“Thanks!” I mutter, shaking my head. “You’re
so witty sometimes.”

“It’s not infected, if that’s what you’re
worried about.” He drags my hand over to a plastic basin and pours
peroxide on the open wound. Although I usually don’t react to
peroxide, this time the stinging almost makes me jump off the
bed.

“Take it easy, Elizabeth. I’m almost done
torturing you.”

He lightly dabs something against it to dry
it and then puts a topical cream on it before wrapping it in a
fresh bandage. When he’s done, he throws the old dressing away.

“There you go. Good as new,” he says.

“Somehow it doesn’t feel it,” I mutter,
trying not to think about the constant throbbing.

“It’s gonna take time to heal.” He shakes his
head. “You were lucky you only got one strike in. When I came into
the kitchen, you were about to try to cut your hand off at the
wrist.” He’s looking at the floor, and I can tell this topic really
bothers him, probably like it bothered me to be holding that dagger
with people expecting me to stab him.

“I know you thought Sarah was dead, but she
isn’t. Is it possible some of the others have survived as
well?”

“You mean like Jayzee?” He screws the lid
back on the peroxide.

“Yeah.”

He nods. “Evan seems to think so.” He sets
the bottle back on my nightstand.

“How is Griffin?” I chew my lip until it
bleeds.

“Still weak, which is pretty much a give-away
that something isn’t right. He should be feeling a lot stronger by
now, but he isn’t. He’s actually weaker.”

I quickly stand and walk toward the door. “I
want to see him.”

“All right.” Lev falls in behind me, and
together we go down the hall to Griffin’s room. As we reach the
doorway, Lev slips his hand into mine and pushes open the door. As
the hinges squeak, I realize that someone sits beside his bed,
watching over him, and I stiffen, remembering in my dreams how
Jayzee was in the room with him.

“It’s all right,” Lev says and nudges me
forward.

At the sound of his voice, the woman in the
chair abruptly turns, and I rush toward her, smiling at her tight
curls and impish grin.

“Celia!” I grab her so tightly I almost knock
the breath out of her.

She laughs and hugs me back. “Glad to see
you, too. Just wish it were under better circumstances.”

I pull back and look at Griffin. He’s
sleeping, but it’s far from peaceful. Sweat glosses his face, and
he’s so pale; I’ve never seen Griffin like this. Ever. “Is there
anything I can do for him?” My voice barely comes out as a
whisper.

“We’re doing everything we can,” Celia says,
giving me one last reassuring squeeze before releasing me. “How are
you holding up?”

I take a deep breath and shrug. “Definitely
been better.”

She nods sympathetically. “I know things seem
pretty dark right now, but it won’t last forever. You just have to
remember that.”

“I’m trying. I edge towards Griffin. “How
long has he been sleeping?”

“A while.” Celia sits down in the chair.

“Could I have a few moments alone with
him?”

Celia and Lev exchange glances before they
finally head for the door. I shut it, hoping Griffin will awaken
long enough for me to talk to him about Jayzee.

Once I’m sure they aren’t coming back, I sit
in the chair next to Griffin and watch him sleep for a couple of
moments, which only makes things harder. I hate to see him like
this. It really bothers me. I have to find a way to fix this.
Shaking my head, I start to reach and wake him, but that’s when his
body starts twitching convulsively.

“Griffin?” I say, shaking him.

His body convulses worse.

“Wake up!” I shake him even harder. I must be
shouting because the next thing I know Celia, Evan, and Lev throw
open the door and stride into the room. I feel them behind me even
as I keep shaking Griffin, so sure I can jar him from this
nightmare. Lev gently takes my arm.

“Come on, Elizabeth.” He tries to lead me
away, but I pull free, still frantically trying to wake Griffin. I
don’t understand. He looks weak, and he won’t respond.

“Griffin, wake up!” My voice trembles, and I
hear myself about to cry but can’t stop shaking him.

“Get her out of here,” Evan orders as he
stands on the other side of the bed, examining Griffin’s
pupils.

Although I start to argue I want to stay, Lev
wraps his arms around me and carries me from the room, ignoring my
flailing legs. My arms struggling beneath his are no match, and it
takes very little for him to get me into the hallway.

“Put me down!” I snap, fully intending to go
back in there and help.

“I will. As soon as you promise me you’ll
stay put.” His voice is calm and reasonable, everything I don’t
feel right now, and no matter how hard I try to break his grip,
it’s no use, and my feet dangle uselessly so I can’t even use the
floor for leverage.

“I want to help Griffin.”

Lev leans close to my ear. “I know. But
there’s nothing you can do. In fact, your presence may be more
detrimental to him than we realized.”

I immediately stop trying to free myself as a
coldness washes over me, and even after Lev gently sets me on the
ground, I remain rooted to the spot, trying to understand what he
meant. “How….”

Lev shrugs. “I don’t know, really. But
Griffin has been unconscious and calm this whole time. Then, after
the powers were triggered, you go in there and he starts having
what looks like a seizure. Something doesn’t add up.”

I swallow hard and look at the ground. “So
this is my fault.” I can hear my voice, but it sounds far away,
speaking words I never expected to have to say.

Lev steps towards me and gently caresses my
arms. “No, it’s not your fault. You didn’t ask for any of this. It
just happened. You were trying to save me, and that sacrifice has
had consequences.”

I lean against the wall and look at Griffin’s
closed door. “This is the reason I shouldn’t be here. I don’t want
to hurt anyone else, and that seems to be all I’m good at right
now.”

“No,” Lev argues as he comes to rest against
the wall next to me. “You confirmed something we suspected but
weren’t sure of. Griffin is right. Jayzee is still alive.”

“How do you know?” I think of the last time I
saw her, when everything was going south and I was about to destroy
Lev. I shudder violently.

He takes my hand. “Because if she weren’t
still attached to Griffin, he wouldn’t have had that kind of a
reaction to being in the same room with you. Jayzee senses the
power via the connection she shares with Griffin. That’s what made
him physically react that way.”

“But how do we break that connection? There
has to be a way.”

Lev nods. “There is.” He looks ahead instead
of meeting my gaze.