Anathema (9 page)

“Are you all right?” he whispers.

“I don’t understand any of this. I never
meant for it to happen.” As he embraces me, I feel his warmth begin
to suffuse through me, and I’m grateful for it—anything to drive
away the wind.

“I know,” he finally replies, taking a
cursory glance around us. It’s nice to know that angels have to
check their bearings from time to time to get to their
destinations. “It’s not exactly your fault, Elizabeth. Sometimes
things just happen.”

“I’m scared.”

His hands tighten their hold, but we both
know the fear has nothing to do with the sensation of being
dropped. I trust Lev with my life; I just don’t trust myself with
his.

“It will get better.” He leans close and
gives me a soft kiss on my temple. “You have to believe that.”

“What if it doesn’t? What if you can’t teach
me how to control these powers?”

“There’s no point worrying about the future,
Elizabeth. We’ve got more than enough going on right now.”

The angle of our bodies shifts slightly,
telling me that we’re coming down. Lev’s feet touch the earth
first, and I feel him carefully lower me until mine touch as well.
Looking around, I realize that we’ve landed in the back yard, and
that only the living room light blazes against the darkness.

“Is anyone else up?”

He nods . “Yeah. Evan wanted to come after
you, but I persuaded him I could find you more easily. And Celia
has had her hands full with Griffin. He must have seen everything
in his dreams because he’s been screaming his head off for the last
fifteen minutes. Celia’s had a difficult of a time getting him
calm.

My whole body stiffens, and I realize for the
first time I might just have made things so much worse for my best
friend. “I…I thought that if Jayzee wasn’t around, that would break
her hold.”

We walk up to the patio, and he opens the
screen door for me. “In theory, it should have been the answer. Her
hold has been broken but that act shattered Griffin. I’m not sure
his affections for Jayzee were all forced; her sudden death has
left him in pieces.”

I inhale sharply. “You mean that I just made
it worse.”

He gently rubs a circle on my back. “I keep
telling you this isn’t your fault, Elizabeth—you didn’t want to
kill Jayzee, but the powers in your body didn’t leave you a choice.
You know that.”

“It doesn’t mean I’m okay with it.”

As we slip into the living room, we almost
run into Evan, who stands waiting. He looks at Lev, and then turns
to me.

“What happened?”

I recognize the forced calm in Evan’s tone,
and I know he’s not taking all of this in stride like he’s
pretending. He knows there’s a whole lot at stake here, and I’m at
the center of it.

“I guess I went sleepwalking and wound up in
the cemetery.” I pull away slightly from Lev, and he drops his arm
from around me, but that doesn’t change the fact that Evan is still
looking at me expectantly, monitoring my expression for the
smallest changes.

“And Jayzee?” Evan’s blue eyes peer at
me.

“She’s dead,” Lev offers.

Evan nods but waves him to silence. “So what
happened, Elizabeth?”

“I just had a dream, and I woke up—”

“What was the dream about?” Evan interrupts,
folding his arms across his chest.

I don’t know what to say; I sure don’t want
to tell him about the angels. Maybe it will come back to haunt me
in the not-so-distant future, but I don’t want to go there, and
luckily, Lev steps between us, cutting off the conversation.

“Evan, I know you want to question her, but
Jayzee broke open the stitches, and we really need to attend to the
bleeding.” The two of them exchange meaningful glances.

“All right,” Evan finally agrees. “Take her
to the kitchen table, and I’ll get the medical bag.”

My stomach drops at the thought of what is
coming, and my body freezes, even though Lev keeps trying to tug me
forward. Yes, my hand is aching, but I think that’s only going to
get worse, considering what Evan is about to do.

“Come on, Elizabeth. We need to get the
bleeding stopped.” Since trying to tug me isn’t getting him
anywhere, Lev steps back and grabs my elbow to flat-out lead me
toward the kitchen.

“Did I mention I hate needles?” I mutter
between clenched teeth.

“It’s definitely better than bleeding to
death, right?” He tries to usher me forward, but I refuse to
go.

“Maybe.” I know he’s right, but I’m being
stubborn, like always. It’s in my nature, and it’s probably not
about to change.

“Elizabeth, we can do this the easy way, or
we can do it the hard way, but we are going to do it—unless you
really want me to carry you, you need to get a move on.”

Glaring at him, I finally shake my head.
“Fine. Whatever.” I amble into the kitchen, more than a little
aware of the feel of his hand on my arm, guiding me. “At least I
was unconscious during the first go-round,” I grumble.

“You want me to help you with that?” he asks
as I sit at the table and set my hand in front of me, my palm
resting toward the ceiling.

“Not if Evan has some kind of drug to make me
numb.”

“Yeah, I do.” Evan strides into the kitchen
carrying a black bag he sets down on the other side of the table.
“I wouldn’t stitch you up if I knew you could feel the pain.” He
looks at my bandaged hand, where the blood stain is almost as big
as my palm. “Are you ready?”

“No, but go ahead,” I mutter, watching as Lev
sinks into the chair beside me. He reaches for my other hand, and
he nods encouragingly at me as if to say everything will be all
right. I jump as Evan starts to tug the wrap loose and unwind
it.

“Easy, Elisabeth. I’m just taking off the old
wrap.”

I take a deep breath, hoping it will help.
“Easier said than done.”

“Not necessarily,” Lev replies, and that’s
when I feel the warmth suddenly wash into my other hand and start
to make its way up that arm and to my chest. With the warmth comes
a soft, relaxing sensation. Lev carefully watches my face, probably
making sure that while he relaxes me, I don’t fall asleep.

The warmth continues washing through me until
it reaches my other arm and makes its way down to the injured hand,
and even though I’m aware Evan has pulled the bandage loose and
will probably be giving me a local to deaden the area, I’m not
tensing in anticipation of the coming pain.

“You all right?” Lev asks, and Evan looks up,
his gaze filled with concern as his hands pause.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Really.”

He sees me blinking like I’m getting drowsy
and scoots his chair closer so I can rest my head on his shoulder.
He drapes his arm around my back and kisses the top of my head.
“You look sleepy.”

“It’s been a really long day.” I could say
year instead. That would be more accurate, but I think Lev probably
knows exactly what I mean.

“Yeah, it has,” he agrees.

“You’re going to feel a pinch, Elizabeth.
It’s just the local.”

I want to tell him it’s far from okay, but I
know that’s not the right answer, so I just nod and close my eyes
to enjoy the warmth of Lev’s embrace. I love resting my head by his
throat; it’s soothing.

Okay, I’m expecting a pinch all right, not
this awful jab that tenses my whole body with its vicious sting. I
start to pull my hand back, but Evan refuses to release it.

“I know it hurts. Give the local a minute to
kick in. Then you won’t feel a thing. I promise.” Evan stares at
me, watching my expression before he pulls the needle out and sinks
it into a different spot. This time, the pain is still significant,
but at least I don’t jump. Still, Lev’s arm tightens around me as I
inhale sharply and close my eyes.

“You okay?” he whispers?

“Peachy,” I murmur, trying to convince myself
it’s true. At least I’m starting to feel the effects of the local,
so my hand isn’t throbbing nearly so much. In fact, I don’t even
feel Evan withdraw the needle. I can just see his motions in my
peripheral vision when I open my eyes and glance at Lev. I start to
focus on Evan’s movements, but Lev shakes his head.

“You might not want to do that, Elizabeth.
He’s cleaning the wound now, but then he’ll start stitching it
shut. Again.”

I close my eyes, sudden nauseated . “Yeah,
you might have a point.”

“I know how well you handle the sight of
blood,” he murmurs, his lips twisting into a wry smile.

“Don’t have too much fun with this,” I
mutter.

“I’m not.” Although there’s a shadow of that
smile, I can tell it’s just a surface-level thing, that wherever
his thoughts are, he’s really not amused. “I’d rather you weren’t
bleeding at all, but that’s not an option.”

I feel a coolness on my skin as Evan washes
it, but this time there’s no pain, so I don’t really mind. Lev
glances at Evan and I see his frown deepen. “How bad is it?” I’d
look, but both Lev and I know I don’t want to pass out, especially
not with a needle about to be the mix.

“It’s going to be okay,” he says, but I can
tell he’s still worried. His blue eyes find mine, and he softly
kisses my forehead. “I’m just glad the only thing you seem to need
is stitches.”

“Me, too.”

I suddenly notice Evan is gripping my hand
tighter than before, and I feel this strange sensation of pressure
over my fingers. Without realizing it, I try to pull my hand away,
which makes Evan pause.

“Does that hurt?”

“No,” I finally manage. “It just feels really
weird. Lots of pressure.” I try to relax. “Go ahead and finish what
you need to do.”

He nods and turns his attention back to my
hand. I feel the pressure resume and grit my teeth, trying to
ignore it. I lean against Lev and savor the feel of his hand
stroking my back, trying to distract me.

“Give me a minute more, and I’ll be done,”
Evan says quietly, and he’s as good as his word. Another few
stitches, and he wipes the cold wetness across it before patting it
dry and wrapping fresh gauze around it to protect the stitches.
Then he releases my hand and gathers up the supplies to put them
away.

I lower my hand to my lap and stare at the
harsh whiteness of the gauze. Right now my hand’s numb, and that’s
probably a good thing. Later, I’m sure it’ll hurt. I trace the edge
of the gauze with my other hand, at least until Lev moves it
away.

“You okay? Does it hurt?” Lev’s voice is
husky, and he hovers.

“I’m okay,” I say, offering a weak smile that
feels strangely out of place and totally at odds with all the
confusion swirling in my mind. “Do any other angels ever have the
power to heal humans?”

“Some, when the situation calls for it. But
they are typically sent for a specific purpose, Elizabeth. What
makes you ask about other angels?” He reaches over and brushes the
hair from my face.

“I just wondered.”

“Yes, well, we need to talk about other
angels. It’s important,” Evan says, sitting down beside me again.
“I need to know what you were dreaming about.”

I shrug. “I don’t remember.” I avert my gaze
and look at the linoleum, where a piece is coming loose over by the
oven. Jimmie always seems to like houses in need of improvement.
Me, I’d love the already improved ones.

Evan reaches out and forces me to look at
him. “It could mean the difference in being able to save your
life.”

“I said I don’t remember. I wish I did.”

“The Triune?” Lev asks, the calm tone
abruptly vanishing. “That’s what you’re talking about, isn’t
it?”

“Yes.” Evan leans back in the chair and
shakes his head. “Did you use your powers to destroy Jayzee?”

“They aren’t my powers, Evan. They’re powers
I can’t get rid of.” I know it’s not an answer. Then again, I
really don’t want to answer the question. A strand of hair tickles
my face, and I brush it back with a trembling hand.

“It doesn’t matter how you feel about the
powers, Elizabeth. All I want to know is if that’s what killed
Jayzee.”

For a moment, I’m silent. I can’t bear to
answer, but I don’t have a choice. “Yes. I tried to tell her to
leave me alone, but she wouldn’t. She was attacking me, and
suddenly the power just did its own thing, like it always does. I
had no control over it.”

I lean against Lev, suddenly tired. I think
it’s the powers. They seem to drain me completely, and I wish I
could make them go away. I hate them.

“What are you thinking?” Lev demands of Evan,
one arm holding me tightly, as though he’s afraid I’m going to slip
away.

“There’s no way the Triune didn’t feel
Jayzee’s death.” He stands and paces the room. “We were lucky
Elizabeth didn’t kill Sarah, that she somehow managed to restrain
the power. But this—this will not have gone unnoticed, and even
though Jayzee has turned from her path, the fact a mortal killed
her will not be looked upon favorably.”

“I didn’t mean to!” I start to stand, but Lev
restrains me and gives me a look that tells me to let him do the
talking.

“It doesn’t matter what you intended,
Elizabeth. The Triune will not judge your intentions, only your
actions.” He leans against the counter and rubs his forehead. “If
you have any hope of surviving their judgment, you need to be
trained so we have something to offer. I don’t know if it’s going
to be enough, but it’s more than we have now.”

“What if it isn’t enough?” I ask, even though
I see Lev shaking his head, telling me not to.

“Then it will put the Triune in the awkward
position of dealing with a human host for a pure power against
angels, and if they don’t find you useful, they will probably try
to destroy you.”

“But we won’t let that happen!” Lev snaps,
his back suddenly stiffening. Evan winces

“Are those angels more powerful?” I ask.

“Yes, Elizabeth. They are.” Evan braces both
palms flat on the counter and looks down at them as though trying
to come to terms with something.