As You Turn Away (The Walker Boys) (30 page)

Setting down his beer, Jonah popped the collar on his jacket, ignoring Ethan’s smirk. The chill in the air crept across his skin; defiantly, Jonah raised the cold bottle to his lips again for a drink. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Reece doing the same, but his brother drained his before slamming it down. The noise skewered their silence as the glass bottle thunked into the other ones beside Reece.

“I’m going to miss the hell out of you two.” He leaned back against the familiar shape of the water tower. Summer was loosening its grip on their part of the world, and Jonah wasn’t certain how to feel about the impending autumn. It meant leaving just when he’d grown comfortable here again, and the fact he’d be home as often as he could on weekends suddenly didn’t feel like enough.

Reece tried to glare at him, but it quickly dissolved. He shook his head, laughing quietly. “If someone told me six months ago we’d be here now, I’d have called them crazy.”

“By ‘here’, do you mean illegally sitting on this water tower, or…?” Ethan raised an eyebrow, leaning forward into the railing.

“No, I mean here in our lives.” Reece made a face. “I fuckin’ dare Tom to arrest us. I know so much shit on him that if he even tries to get me into the back of a cop car, he’ll regret it.” He leveled a glance at Ethan. “You’re too young to remember when Joe and I used to sneak out at night and come here.”

Jonah felt the low rumble in his chest, and he didn’t try to hold back his laughter. “I don’t know, Reece. Didn’t Ethan cover for our asses a couple of times?” He squinted off into the darkness. “You were a sorry liar though. We got busted one of those times, Reece, remember? You were fine but I was so sick from drinking.” He ran a hand across his face, remembering the headache and the ass whooping the next morning. “What was I, thirteen?”

Reece snorted. “Not my fault you couldn’t hold down a beer. You begged me to take you with me so I did.” He crossed his arms over his chest, copying Ethan’s posture. “God, Pop was so pissed, but that didn’t stop us from comin’ back again.”

“You know I tried to get a few friends up here once.” Ethan laughed, scratching his jaw. “They thought I was insane. Guess this old water tower is Walker boys territory.”

“Yeah.” Reece put a hand on the sphere reservoir, splaying his fingers on the worn but visible
Reece Walker + Hannah Tyler
graffiti. “Guess it is.”

Jonah opened a fresh beer, the last of his four. They’d all split the twelve pack for this, one of his last nights home before he had to leave. Since his fight with Quinn, he’d spent as much time with his family as he could, wrapping these moments around himself. Reece needed their camaraderie now more than ever, and truth be told, Jonah needed his brothers.

“Seriously though, I’m happy we’re here, together.” He rolled his bottle back and forth in his hands. “I mean, I know we’ve taken some hard knocks this summer, but no matter what, we have each other. I want y’all to know that. You’ve got me in your corner, always. You aren’t gettin’ rid of me ever again.”

Reece ducked his head, hair falling in his face and obscuring his eyes. The wavy hair was less wild on him than on Jamie, but it marked them so clearly as father and son, just as it had before Jonah knew who Jamie was. Jonah thought back to the night before, when he and Ethan kept Jamie at his apartment. Their nephew’s antics were a welcome distraction from everything else looming in Jonah’s mind. Jamie was still grappling to understand where his mom was, and Jonah envied his innocence, yet wanted him to retain it as long as he could.

“Same goes for me.” Ethan’s sure voice brought Jonah out of his thoughts. “Anytime, anything.” He looked at Jonah, then in Reece’s direction. “I feel like we’ve come a long way this summer as brothers.”

“We have to hug now or something?” Reece muttered the words, but Jonah could see a smile fighting at the corner of his mouth. He raised his head, eyes shining. “I talk a good game, but the truth is, I’m glad to have you two for brothers.” The smile finally won. “When you first came home, Jonah, none of us thought you’d stick around longer than a few days. But you stayed, and somehow we became a family again. And now with Han gone, I guess I need y’all more than ever.”

Jonah nudged Reece’s shoulder with his. “I think that may be the most I’ve ever heard you say all at once, brother. But I’m glad you felt like you could. You know we’re here for you, whether it’s going to the batting cages, or working the farm, or keeping Jamie. Or just talking.”

“I know.” Reece rubbed at his eyes, but then looked at Jonah. “I do, and I appreciate that more than I can say. It’s still so weird to think of her
gone
.”

“How are you doing with that?” Ethan finished off his last beer.

“Okay.” Reece rolled his shoulders back. “Some days I can’t believe it’s been two weeks already; some days it feels like a lot longer, especially when Jamie asks where she is.” He gazed out into the darkness of the field. “I miss her, and I think I always will. I wasn’t in love with her still, but I loved her because she was Jamie’s mom. I think it would have been a mistake if we’d gotten together again.” He frowned. “But yeah, it’s hard, still.”

“Probably will be for awhile.” Ethan turned his cap around backward. “Are you seein’ that therapist Mom recommended?”

Reece’s sigh sounded loud. “I haven’t yet. Been thinking about going, just can’t work up to it yet.” He switched his focus back to them, and on Jonah. “Speaking of therapists, Joe.” He paused, like he was searching for words. “Any luck convincing Reynolds to go see one?”

“No.” Jonah thought back to their last conversation, one of only a few face-to-face ones they’d had since their fight a week ago. “I called her yesterday and it went straight to voicemail, so I hung up the phone.” He closed his eyes, replaying their words. “We’ve only talked twice since the fight, and she’s still mad as hell, but it’s more than that. It’s like she doesn’t even realize how
I
feel.” Jonah hadn’t revealed Quinn’s secrets to his brothers, figuring it was up to her to tell them if she wanted to. They knew he and Quinn had fought, that she’d told him new information about why she left. “She lashed out and said some hurtful things, but God.” He swallowed once, then again. “She pulled away like I was going to hit her, and that’s crazy. I’d never—”

“We know.” Reece put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing. “We know you wouldn’t.
She
knows you wouldn’t. She’s dealing with a lot that she has to work through, and you were right about that part.
She’s
got to do it, or it won’t be enough for her to heal.”

“What if she doesn’t?”

“She
will
.” Ethan met Jonah’s gaze this time. “She’s Quinn. And the thing is, Jonah, she’s
family
, ’cause she’s your girl. And when family’s hurting, you give them the extra faith they need for whatever hill they need to get over, right?”

Jonah nodded, and took a deep breath. “Right.”

“So,” Reece continued, picking up where Ethan left off, “just believe in her. And give her time.”

~~~~~

“Do you think it’ll ever run?”

“Oh, sure she will,” Sam replied, walking in a slow circle around the car. “She’s beat up and got some miles on her, but we’ll get her running again.” He narrowed his eyes slightly. “I’ll need a helper. What d’you say, Jonah? Too grown up and cool to help your old man on a project?”

Jonah could feel his mouth drop open; he shut it quickly, eyeing the Nova. “Are you serious?” He was a few weeks past his fourteenth birthday and itching to get behind the wheel of a car—any car. “Of course I want to work on this car with you, Pop.”

Jonah stood with his hands in his pockets as his dad puttered around Baby. Everything was done, and the Nova was ready for the final test. Her engine purred, but both Jonah and Sam needed to know she was roadworthy before they could consider the car truly finished. Jonah didn’t rightly know what came next. His relationship with his dad developed and crumbled around the vehicle.

“Remember the day you asked me to work on her?” Jonah chuckled.

Sam guffawed, standing. “Sure do.” He rubbed at something on the door. “You didn’t know squat about classic cars. And truth be told…” He met Jonah’s gaze. “I don’t think I did, either.”

Jonah thought back to the manuals they’d pored over, then the websites. Back then, he hadn’t known what a carburetor looked like, or how to change the oil, or how an engine should sound. Now, he wasn’t a mechanic by any means, but he could generally diagnose some basic vehicle issues, and even fix a few. He knew his way around cars, and unlike Reece, who thought it wasn’t worth driving unless it was a truck, Jonah enjoyed cars.

“And all those Saturday nights we spent out here, while Ethan whined about not getting to help.” Hunkering down, Jonah eyeballed the tires; none of them looked low, so he stood. “I remember being anxious to finish dinner, because those nights were our time out here, just us.”

Jonah walked over to the passenger side door and opened it; they’d worked Baby over thoroughly, including inside and out, so the door opened almost silently. He sat down and buckled his seatbelt, and then met his dad’s gaze through the windshield. He grinned. “You comin’?”

Settling into the driver’s seat, his dad let out a whistle. “Sits good.” He put the key in the ignition, and brought it to life. The engine rolled over with a reassuring sound, and Sam sighed. “Moment of truth, I reckon.”

Jonah slipped a pair of sunglasses on, and dialed the radio to the local country station. “Let’s get her going and let her run, Pop.”

So they did. For the most part, Jonah enjoyed the ride in silence, soaking in everything he could about it: the sun warming his face through the window, the leaves just barely starting to turn from summer green to fall orange or brown. The radio playing songs he knew he’d always associate with this summer. Having his dad with him for this moment. Being able to enjoy
being here
, without thinking about leaving.

“Can you hold the flashlight for me, kid?”

Jonah grinned, thrilled to be given something to do. He knew more about farming and ranching than cars; looking under the hood of the Nova was a mystery. But it’s one he very much wanted to solve. “Sure can.” He shone it where his father directed.

Bending over the engine, his dad reached for a wrench with his free hand. He used his other to turn the page of the owner’s manual he ordered offline. “Okay, according to this here…” He leaned in. “Come on, baby.”

“Don’t let Ma hear you call that car baby.”

Sam chuckled. “Jonah, your mom has nothing to fear, ever. She’s been my best girl since we were seventeen. My only girl.” He smiled. “I’ll call this car whatever I want. In fact, Baby sounds like a good name to me.”

“Hey, Pop…” Jonah glanced over at Sam, who had one hand on the wheel and one resting along the rolled-down window. “Since I’m leaving for school soon, and this is a big day, well, it’s made me think about when I came home this summer.” Jonah threads his fingers together. “I know I was an ass, and I hope I’ve worked hard to put all that behind me with everyone.” He paused, blinking a few times. “I know for some reason, though I don’t deserve it, I’m on good terms with Reece and Ethan again, but I wanted to make sure you and I are okay.”

His dad made the turn that would take them through downtown. It was a Sunday, so although some of the stores were closed, most of the restaurants were open. There was a huge crowd at Louisa’s, and Jonah wondered if Quinn was there. He’d been thinking on what his brothers said last night, and while a part of him agreed with them on giving Quinn the time she needed, there was another part that was still conflicted. If Jonah learned anything in his time away, it was how important communication was.

The thought of going back to the unhealthy relationship he and Quinn were in the first time around made him uneasy; the thought of losing her made him feel like he was slowly splintering on the inside.

“Jonah.” His father’s voice was quiet, but not emotionless. “I’ve been meaning to tell you how proud I am of you. I’ve watched you change—from the boy who left, to the man who came back…and into who you are now. Someone who really cares about others, and who says so when he does. Someone who thinks about his actions, and who loves with all he has.” He maneuvered onto the highway headed home. “That’s all I ever wanted you to be. You and I are fine, son, and I can speak for your mama too.”

Jonah sat back in his seat, unable to speak right away. Words flew through his mind, but none of them were right. There didn’t seem to be a way to express just how much his dad’s words meant to him. “When I came home, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I honestly expected y’all to hate me, so getting any sort of a welcome was amazing.” He glanced at his dad. “I know it seems like I didn’t listen to a lot of what you tried to teach me, but I heard every word. And I’ve tried to put it all into play in my life now, so to hear that you’re proud of me is more than I ever hoped to hear.”

Sam traded hands on the wheel, and reached over, clasping Jonah’s arm for a brief moment. “I’m glad to hear that, kid. I always hoped you’d take to heart what I said. I tried to teach you and your knucklehead brothers what your granddad taught me growing up, and I never really knew if I was doin’ a good job of it or not.”