Baby Aliens Got My Teacher! (6 page)

Heads Down Thumbs Up!

We acted very normal for the rest of the day. And we made sure we didn’t let
ANYONE
get anywhere near our ears.

Jodi said we should go everywhere together and then she said,
“ACT NORMAL AND KEEP YOUR EYES WIDE OPEN 
AT ALL TIMES.”
So we did.

Then in the afternoon, Miss Jones said we could all read our books because she was a bit sleepy from all the dancing. But I didn’t read any of mine. I couldn’t stop looking at the clock, because as soon as it was home time, we would start Plan 2.

Then when it was ten minutes before the bell Miss Jones said,
“RIGHT!
How about a quick game of
HEADS DOWN THUMBS UP
before the bell?” And that’s when I really started to panic!

You probably know the game “Heads
Down Thumbs Up”. But just in case you live in France or somewhere like that then I’ll tell you what it is. Everyone puts their heads down on the desk with their eyes closed and their thumbs sticking up. Then four people are picked to stand at the front. And then when everyone has their heads down and nobody is peeking, they sneak around and pick one person each and squeeze their thumbs. Then when they have all picked someone they go back to the front of the classroom and say, “OK,” and everyone brings their head back up and opens their eyes. Then the teacher says, “If your thumb was squeezed
STAND 
UP!
” and then usually four people stand up, but sometimes there are five if someone is pretending their thumb got squeezed when it didn’t. Then the people who got their thumb squeezed have to try and guess who squeezed it and if they get it right they get to swap places and be one of the Squeezers.

It’s usually a really fun game, but we haven’t played it for ages because Miss Jones doesn’t like it. And that’s one reason I started to panic when she suggested it because she doesn’t even
LIKE
that game. But the main reason I started to panic was because if we all had our heads down and our eyes closed
then Miss Jones would have
FULL ACCESS
to our ears because we couldn’t even stick our fingers in them because we’d have to put our thumbs up.

Then Miss Jones said
SHE
would be one of the Squeezers and so would Gary Petrie! I didn’t know what to do. I looked at Zach and he was texting on his phone under the table and I looked at it and it said:

Then I looked at Maisie and it looked like she was already in position to play the game. But then I saw her thumbs weren’t up and I knew that she had fainted. That’s when I thought we were doomed.

But then I looked at Jodi and she had
THAT LOOK
in her eyes and I didn’t know what she was going to do, but I
knew she was going to do something. And then Jodi had the biggest
JT
ever!

She jumped up and her seat went flying and she started screaming,
“GO GO GO!!”
and that meant
RUN
, so we did. Jodi started throwing jotters and pens all over the place and then she waved a ruler at Gary Petrie when he tried to get up, and me and Zach had to carry Maisie by a leg and an arm each but we were still going really fast because we just
HAD TO
, and Miss Jones was shouting,

“STOP! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!”

and then when we were almost out the door I remembered Plan 2.

Plan 2 was that we were going to steal Miss Jones’s weird teddy to find out what she was planning and stop her. So even though I was really scared and we were nearly out in the corridor, I ran back and Jodi shouted,
“Izzy!
NOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Decapitation

Iran across the room so fast that I almost fell over. Miss Jones was rushing towards me and shouting,
“COME BACK!
What are you doing?!” I could tell everyone was staring at me and that they were probably all in shock, but I didn’t even look. I just grabbed Miss
Jones’s teddy off her desk as quickly as I could and started to run. And that’s when it happened. Something inside the teddy moved! I was so shocked I almost dropped it. And then Jodi shouted,

“IZZY, RUN!”

 So I ran.

We ran to the girls’ toilets but Zach didn’t want to come inside, he wanted to go to The Den. But The Den was too far away and we were scared we might bump into Mrs Seith who’d know we shouldn’t be out of class and then we’d be in

BIG
TROUBLE!

So we just grabbed Zach and dragged him into the girls’ toilets and then locked ourselves in one of the cubicles.

After we all got our breath back I said, “There’s something wrong with the teddy. It moved! Something inside the teddy
moved!” Then Zach got scared and said that maybe I just imagined it like the time I had the flu and thought his cat, Carlos, was speaking to me in Spanish. But then I said,
“IT DEFINITELY MOVED!”
and everyone believed me because I said it in a very serious voice and I was nearly crying because of everything.

So Jodi said we should calm down and that she would take the teddy from me very slowly and do an
EXAMINATION
. And then she picked the teddy up carefully and started to feel it all over its body. And then it
MOVED AGAIN!
And that’s when Maisie shouted, “The baby aliens!
THE BABY ALIENS!!”

And we all knew what she meant. Miss Jones kept the baby aliens inside her teddy! That was why she was always hugging it and stuff. Jodi went silent and was scared to move because she was still holding the teddy and then she whispered, “What if it explodes, like the office ladies said? The aliens will get out!” Then Maisie covered her ears and squealed, “Do something!
QUICK!
” So Zach said, “We’ll bury it! Then when it explodes the aliens won’t be able to land in our ears.”

So Jodi said she’d be in charge of
TRANSPORTING
the teddy since she was
good at holding it carefully. And I said we needed to find a spade

ASAP.

But then Maisie said, “Wait! I’ve got a better idea.” And she didn’t look scared any more, she looked
SERIOUS
and then she said, “We need to
DECAPITATE
the teddy!”

I didn’t know what
DECAPITATE
meant, but then Zach said it meant Maisie wanted us to chop the teddy’s head off! Maisie said the only way we could be sure that the baby aliens would be gone for good was to
flush them down the loo and see them die
“WITH OUR OWN EYES”
. Everyone agreed, especially when Maisie said it would be better than burying them in case the aliens wriggled their way up through the mud and managed to find us.

So we got ready to do the decapitation and then Jodi said, “What do you think they’ll look like?” And I said that the baby aliens would probably look like little green peas with slimy arms and legs and that there would
probably be millions of them since Miss Jones was planning an
ALIEN INVASION
. And then Zach said he was going to be sick so we told him to go into the other toilet before we started.

So I held the teddy and Jodi pulled its head really hard. But it wouldn’t come off! So then Maisie started pulling too, but it still wouldn’t come off! So I said we needed to go back to the classroom to get the Big Scissors, and then we heard a thump in the
next cubicle and Zach’s legs poked through into our cubical. And Jodi said, “What are you doing in there?” And then we realised Zach had fainted.

We’d never seen Zach faint before. But it was OK because Maisie said she knew exactly what to do. She gave him a drink of water from the tap and made him stay in the Recovery Position until he was feeling better.

I was surprised that Zach had fainted because usually it’s Maisie who gets all scared and faints. But also because Zach said he wasn’t scared of killing the aliens. And Jodi must have been thinking the same thing because then she said, “You said you weren’t scared to kill the aliens?” and Zach said that he didn’t faint because of the aliens. He said it was because I said the aliens were going to look like peas. And then I remembered about Zach’s
PEA PHOBIA
. So I said that the aliens probably wouldn’t look like peas and that they would probably look more like long green beans but that didn’t seem to
help so I just stopped saying things.

So then we stuffed the teddy behind the toilet to keep it safe and waited until two minutes after the end-of-day bell had gone and then Jodi said, “It’s clear!” So we all ran along the corridor to the classroom to get the Big Scissors. And that’s when we bumped right into Miss Ross who teaches 1B.

“THERE
you are!” she said. “What
ON EARTH
do you think you’re doing running out of class like that? Everyone’s looking for you! Come with me.” And I was just about to make up a story about why we couldn’t come right now when I saw something sticking
out of her bag. I couldn’t believe it. It was another
TEDDY!
And it was
EXACTLY
the same as Miss Jones’s teddy!

The others saw it too and before I knew what was happening Jodi had grabbed it and shouted,

(Which I knew meant we should forget about getting the Big Scissors and just
RUN!
) So we all ran down the corridor and Miss Ross was shouting for us to
“COME BACK THIS INSTANT!”
But we didn’t.