Bella (22 page)

   I love you
children as if you were my own. Ted and I were probably wrong for seeing each
other again when Sarah was dying, but it wasn
’
t
intentional. My parents were killed in a car crash when I was twenty-five. They
might have been strict, especially mother, but I loved them dearly, and missed
them very much. That is what pushed me to be there for Ted, because he needed
me and I just happened to be there for him. Life is too short to be
unforgiving, the next thing you know the person could be gone. 

We
all took it in turns sitting with Tammy because she had taken a turn for the
worse and the doctors told us it was just a matter of time.

   I couldn't help
thinking about mother as she lay on her death bed. It was like history
repeating itself.

Claudio gave us a
lot of support and helped us in every way he could. My son Robert was much
better although the doctors told us that there was still a possibility that he
would need a bone marrow transplant in the future.

   A short time
later I was sitting next to Tammy
’
s bed while she was
sleeping. She woke up and turned to look at me.

  
“
Bella you
’
re the daughter I never had. I love you dearly, but one thing is for
sure. You will make your own fate in life. The letter that I know you have, don
’
t read it. Believe me it
’
s for the best.
”
She whispered. I was grateful with her for not letting on to the
others that I had found the letter. Lizzie knew but we
’
d
decided long ago, that it was better not to know what was in it.

I knew she wouldn't
make it through the night.
Maybe I should burn this god forsaken later!
I thought.

Tammy was made as
comfortable as possible and surprisingly she pulled through the night, and the
next two weeks.

   We all knew that
she could pass away at any time, so we tried to be with her as much as
possible. She was never alone. I think she knew we were there but most of the
time she was in and out of consciousness.

   Tammy passed away
on the first day of spring. The flowers were just starting to bloom, and the
birds were singing in the trees.

She told me one thing
before she died.

  
“
Bella I know you love Simon, whether it`s right or wrong you have to
decide, no one will judge you, certainly not me. I am proud of you Bella, proud
of you all.

  
Tammy
’
s funeral went to plan. She had left instructions to Roy and how she
wanted her funeral to be. Her wishes were to be cremated, and then to be kept
and buried with the family. It was an emotional time for all of us, even Ben
cried.

I still couldn't
believe she was gone. It was the same as when Mother died

   Ben decided to
take a few months leave from work; he felt terrible and wished he had done more
to get to know her. But the main thing was he at least got to meet her again
after all their years apart. It didn
’
t feel the same after
Tammy had gone. Roy decided he couldn
’
t keep the house they
both called home. He said he couldn
’
t live there without
her..

Ben decided to help
Roy sell the house and find another place. Eventually Roy found himself a
bungalow just outside Light House Cove.

   My daughter Bella
was such a good baby. Time flew by so fast. Christmas was coming and she was
going to have her first birthday. Simon and Victoria decided to move back to
New York again. Lizzie moved into the house next door to mine. I liked the fact
we were so close to each other. I remember as children we weren't close at all
. But over the years with all the ups and downs we had been through we became
closer and closer.

   I thought it was
best not to read the letter after what Tammy had told me and leave things as
they were.

   Tammy had been
gone a few months and we all missed her dearly, especially at Christmas the
only time of year that our family was complete. The snow fell early that year,
and it was bitter cold.

As I was preparing
the turkey the phone rang. Victoria was on the other end.

  
“
I
’
m coming over to England with Simon, we will be there tomorrow. I am
warning you to keep well away from him!
”

  
“
Well, hello to you too Victoria.
”
I
puzzled.

  
“
You have been the cause of so many rows between us. I have
constantly lived with the fear of losing him because of you:
”
She shouted not letting me get a word in edgeways.

  
“
What
’
s your problem? Why have you constantly been acting like this? I
asked hoping she would calm down and give me some answers.

  
“
You
’
ll see!
“
Was the only answer I got. She hung up and I stood there for ages
with the phone still held to me ear thinking:
Oh no, this is it
……
..

That night I couldn
’
t sleep. Claudio thought I was coming down with something. How could
I tell him that Victoria knew about the attraction Simon and I had especially
after it nearly split us up all those years ago I really didn
’
t want things from the past being brought up again.

   After making some
breakfast we decided to put the tree up and decorate the house. I wasn
’
t really feeling in a festive mood, but as usual I had to for the
sake of the Children.

Violet looked so
grown up in her favourite, purple silk dress. She was really growing up and was
looking more like me every day.

   Robert was
looking forward to his birthday like he did every year and Bella and I
celebrated our birthday at the same time. She is the spitting image of Claudio
with the dark curly hair.

  The decorations
and tree looked lovely and felt a bit more in the festive mood.

Violet liked helping
me in the kitchen so together we

baked cakes, bread,
and sausage rolls. After we
’
d finished I heard talking in the front room. I wiped my hands on my
apron and went to see who Claudio was talking too.

Simon and Victoria
had arrived. Claudio was making them both drinks and chatting about the
weather. I greeted them both expecting Victoria to be hostile towards me, but
she was ok and I began to settle down. We actually had a lovely evening. Robert
had learnt to play the guitar and took after Simon. Simon thought that it was
because he was his nephew. They both seemed to have connected that evening and
Simon gave Robert a few tips on playing the guitar.

   At the end of the
night I was shattered and fell into bed

Christmas morning
was mayhem. The room was full of wrapping paper. Robert got lots of presents
for his birthday as well as for Christmas. Roy came over with Ben for Christmas
dinner. I enjoyed having the family round. But I missed Tammy very much. We
went to church and dedicated that to Tammy. She had always enjoyed going to
church on Christmas Day.

   On returning home
we decided to play some games.

I knew it wouldn
’
t be long before Victoria approached me. We both went for a walk
down by the sea.

   With the cold
night air, I decided to wrap up extra warm. We didn
’
t
really speak until we reached the cliff. We sat down and I told Victoria
whatever the problem was it was to be solved right there and then. I wasn
’
t expecting her reaction to be so extreme. She started shouting how
I had ruined her life. That she would always be second best. I told her that
Simon and I were close; after all we were brother and sister. At that stage I
could feel my cheeks burning up as I knew I was telling a lie. No one knew just
how close Simon and I had been. Victoria looked at me, this time she spoke
calmly.

  
“
I take it you haven
’
t read the letter then?
”

I was still
wondering what the letter had to do with this situation.

  
“
If you don
’
t read the letter Bella I
’
ll have to tell you,
then maybe you will understand why I
’
ve been so angry with
you all these years.
”

Whatever was in it
obviously had something to do with Simon.
But did I really want to know
?

  
“
You know you have
feelings for Simon, and he has feelings for you. You know he doesn
’
t truly love me Bella.
”
She snapped.

"Yes I know what you mean, but I have moved on with my
life and have a loving husband, with three lovely children.
 
Simon is my brother and that
’
s all he can ever be.
”

I just had to go home. I left Victoria. All I could think
about was Claudio and his safe loving arms.

I couldn
’
t stop the tears
falling down my cheeks, my eyes were stinging. I quickly patted my eyes with
cold water and hoped Claudio wouldn
’
t notice.

I lay there in bed, my head spinning with uncertainty. It
must have been hours before I drifted off into a sleep full of terrible dreams.
I woke up sweating. I dreamt that I was no longer with Claudio and realised how
much I actually loved him.

I laid there in his arms and could feel his warm breath on
my cheek as he lay sleeping. Now I knew I had to do one thing.

Sitting at the kitchen table with the letter in my
trembling hands slowly opened it half hoping that something or someone would
stop me in my tracks, like it always had.

But this time nothing and no one was here. It was very
early in the morning, everybody was in bed. I felt cold so I lit the fire.

As I began to read the letter, I knew I had to find out
what was in it that could have made Victoria so angry. The letter read:

 
To Simon and Lizzie,

If you are reading this letter, then I
’
m not here myself to tell you all. Tammy will have told you
already that we were together before I met your mother.

Tammy
and I were childhood sweethearts, her parents were very strict and they were
extremely wealthy people.
 
Tammy went to a private school for girls and our back grounds
were completely different. They wanted her to meet someone with wealthy parents
and with a good school education. They felt I was no good for their daughter.
When I reached my eighteenth birthday I was busy at university doing
my law degree and she was sixteen. We
both lived in a town called Rosewood and realised the only way we could
properly be together was to run away. My parents were not against Tammy and
myself being together. We went to live with her auntie Grace. There I  was able
to continue my law degree. However, times were hard and we needed every penny.
So I took a job at a local bar. Tammy worked in a factory in the day and she
was a waitress at night in a local restaurant. All we wanted was to be
together.