Bella (21 page)

Our Daughter was
born at home five minutes before midnight. Claudio wanted to call her Bella,
the same as me. She was so beautiful, with lots of dark hair, and blue eyes
like mine. Christmas day was hectic, with two Children, and a new born baby I
didn
’
t know whether I was coming or going.. But I wouldn
’
t have wanted it any other way.

We had the entire
family round including Simon to celebrate the birth of Bella, my birthday and
Christmas. My family finally felt complete.

After a while I
decided when the time was right to ask Victoria about the letter, seeing as she
was the only one that knew what was written in it.

On New Year
’
s Eve Tammy and Roy were having a party at their house in Light
House
Cove. Victoria and Simon were already there when we arrived. I still
didn
’
t think it was the right time to ask about the letter even though it
was constantly on my mind. I really wanted to know what mother and father had
to say. I think Victoria must have guessed that something was on my mind
because when Simon decided to play us all a piece of music on the guitar she
looked directly at me.

  
“
This must bring back memories Bella. Simon playing his music and of
course he
’
s playing your favourite song.
”

  
“
What do you mean?
”
I asked. For some reason Victoria was in the mood for a
confrontation. I took her to one side.    

  
“
You know the letter was burnt in the fire.
”
 
She laughed at me.
 

   
“
I am the only one who knows what was in that letter. I love Simon
and I don't want you to ruin what I have with him.
”

   
“
Why would this letter wreck your relationship with Simon? She didn't
answer that question.
 
I started thinking that there had to be a copy of the letter
somewhere. Knowing father, he would have kept a copy somewhere. When I first
found the key I never looked for anything else in the safe. But I know when
Tammy and I packed up the house before we moved; we took everything to Tammy's.

Being at Tammy's
house, I decided to go to the office where everything of fathers was still
kept. I found the key in the top draw just where I had left it. I opened my
father`s safe and looked in, but there was nothing there.

‘
I wonder if it
’
s in the one
of the folders in the filing cabinet.
’
I thought to myself... My hands were shaking as I started going
through every document there was. But there was no letter addressed to us. I
was just about to give up, when I noticed a piece of paper that looked like a
letter but it was very roughly written. I looked at the date it said:
24/12/1986
my eleventh birthday. I knew this was what I had been looking for. I heard
somebody coming so I frantically put it in my bag.  When the door opened it was
Victoria, I tried not to look too suspicious and told her I just needed some
time away from everyone.

 I walked past
Victoria and went back to enjoy the rest of the night with my family, taking
great care of my bag to make sure that the letter that I
’
d found stayed there.

After a few hours I
went to check on Bella. I certainly wasn't expecting to find Robert so poorly.
I shouted for someone to get an ambulance. Everything was a blur, the
paramedics, the ambulance. My mind was frozen. Robert was unconscious; doctors
were frantically working on him to find out what was wrong with him. He had
been having nose bleeds for quite some time and it had left him looking rather
pale. He
’
d also complained about his legs hurting. I took him to see a doctor
who told me he had a virus, and that nose bleeds were quite common.

After numerous
tests the doctor finally had his results. He was diagnosed with Aplastic anaemia.

I was told he would
need some treatment and possibly a bone marrow transplant but in time he would
make a complete recovery.

Over the next few
weeks, Robert remained very poorly. Claudio was often away on business so
fortunately Tammy and Roy helped look after Violet and Bella.

A month later
Robert started to improve and was allowed to return home, but still needed
plenty of rest.

The timing never
seemed right to read the letter. I couldn
’
t
help but believe that I wasn
’
t destined to read it. Fate always seemed to step it and stop me
somehow; the lost key, then Victoria finding it, the fire destroying the
original then finding the copy but not getting a chance to read
it.                 I know one day I will read it, however, until then I want
my family to be happy, and Robert to be in good health again.

My mother always
used to say.

  
“
Bella no matter what happens in life, and what cruel things come
your way; you are a fighter, and will get through anything that comes your way
.
”
I knew she was right. I would always remain strong, no matter what.

A few days later
the phone rang. It was Tammy.

  
“
Bella I need to talk to you. In fact I need to talk to all of you. I
have called Ben and he will arrive this evening. I will call Simon and Lizzie
when I have finished talking to you. Please come over tomorrow morning.
”
She sounded really serious.

  
“
What is wrong? Can
’
t you tell me now?
”
I asked. I was really worried.
Whatever could be the matter be!
.

  
“
I prefer to tell you tomorrow when you are all here.
”
She said calmly.

The next morning I
took the kids over to Tammy
’
s house. The others were already there. We sat down nervously
waiting for Tammy to tell us why she had called us there. Roy was sat by her
side holding her hand. Lizzie hadn
’
t exactly been close
to Tammy over the years but even she looked nervous. Simon loved Tammy as much
as I did. She looked very upset and had tears in her eyes as she began to talk.

   
“
Unfortunately my cancer is back and there
’
s
nothing the doctors can do this time.
”
She sighed.
“
I
’
ve been given six months at the most. I don't want any treatment. It
might just give me an extra few months, but at what cost.
”
  She said sadly. I couldn't hold back my tears. Tammy was like a
mother to me, even Lizzie was upset which really surprised me. I didn
’
t expect her to react like that. Simon and Ben looked upset but
tried to remain strong for us girls. Tammy then went on to say that she wanted
to explain how she met our father all those years ago and of course about Ben.
Tammy began to tell us everything. We all sat silently and listened to her
story.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

I
 was born in 1958, in a small town called
Rosewood. Both my parents were very wealthy and sent me to a private School. I
met Ted Green when I was twelve years old. I used to go down to the river and
read my books where Ted would be fishing. He used to tell me, that it was his
way of escaping. We didn
’
t spend much time together because my parents were very strict. I
was only allowed outside for one hour every night. But as time went on we
became very close. Ted was a very clever young man and I knew one day he would
be successful. Over the next two years, we knew we were falling in love. I was
pretty sure my parents wouldn
’
t accept it. I took Ted to meet my mother and father one summer. My
mother took an instant dislike to him and was forbidden to see him. When I left
school I decided not to further my education at that particular moment. Ted was
at university doing a law degree. We had to meet in secret and snatch the odd
time together here and there.

   One day we were
drinking coffee in a little cafe by the park, when my mother spotted us. I was
grounded immediately.

I had not long
turned sixteen and I knew I wanted to be with Ted and he felt the same.

   We decided the
best thing to do was to leave town and go and live with my Auntie Grace who
hadn
’
t spoken to my mother for many years.

I got a job in a factory whilst Ted continued at University
and worked part-time in the evenings at our local bar.

We needed every penny we could get to save for our own
place. Eventually we got a very small flat not far from my Auntie
’
s and we were blissfully happy.

   We didn
’
t have much furniture, but it was home. As time
went on we became like passing ships in the night.

One year later I found
out I was pregnant, and couldn't wait to tell Ted. I will never forget that
winter's night. It was my day off, and I had cooked us a lovely meal. When Ted
returned home I knew something was wrong. Before I had a chance to tell him
that I was pregnant, he told me that he had met someone else. He said he had
known her for about a year. Her name was Sarah. I listened carefully trying to
hold back my tears. We were so very much in love, but because of his law degree
and both of us working we had grown apart. Maybe if I
’
d told him I was pregnant he might have stayed
with me, but for the wrong reasons and I didn
’
t want that.

   That night I left
and went back to my parent`s home. Luckily, they were very supportive and never
judged me and so I decided to keep the baby. Not long after I met someone else.
His name was Ryan and we got married, however, I never got over Ted, I just
couldn
’
t get him out of my
head. When Ben was two I had a breakdown and walked out on  Ben and the marital
home. Over the next two years I was riddled with guilt. I sent letters to Ryan
asking to see Ben. but he didn
’
t give Ben the
letters.

   Years later I met Ted again. Unfortunately
he was happily married to your mother. The time wasn't right to tell him about
Ben because he
’
d just told me Sarah was dying from cancer. I suppose I wanted to
give him support and be his friend, but we fell in love all over again.

   It wasn't until three years later that I
told Ted about Ben, maybe I should have told him
sooner. Possibly the shock of finding out he had a son gave him the heart
attack. He was so angry at first and wouldn
’
t
speak to me for days. I was afraid he was going to finish with me however,
after we had talked  and I explained how I felt after he
’
d left me all those years ago he decided to let the past stay
exactly what it was; the past. Ted wrote a letter to Ben and I did the same.
The wedding was going to be the first time in a long time that I would see Ben.

   I knew I had to
tell you all the truth about Ben. Ted had written a letter to all of you in
case neither of them were able to tell you in person. Ted was a very secretive
man, and he never told me what he wrote. But I do know it is something
important about the past. If and when you find the letter and you decide to
read it is your choice, but sometimes I think that some things are better left
unsaid.