Bella (25 page)

He stood up and
walked away leaving me sitting there. It started to rain heavily. I put my hat
on and just sat there. I didn
’
t care how wet I got.

I
’
m not sure how long I stayed there, but I was soaked through to the
skin.

I wish I hadn
’
t told Simon
. I thought. But it was too
late.

I walked back home
hoping he would be there. However, he had gone.

 
“
If anything happens to him, I will never forgive myself
.
”
I muttered to myself.

Lizzie heard my
words and guessed that I had told Simon. She could sense he hadn
’
t taken the news very well.

    
“
It
’
s not your fault.
”
she said. 
“
He has to be adult about this. He isn
’
t
a child anymore.
”

    
“
But you don
’
t know everything Lizzie, and believe me you don
’
t want too.
”

   
“
Why? What more could you possibly have to tell me Bella?
”

   
“
Lizzie, I would love to tell you, but somehow I don
’
t think you would understand. You would certainly judge Simon and
me.
”

   
“
Judge who! You and Simon? Why would I do that?
”
She said looking confused.

Ok, here goes
nothing.
I thought. Worrying about how she would
react. I inhaled deeply before continuing.

   
“
For many years Simon and I have loved each other.
“
I told her.

   
“
Well of course you have. We all love each other.
”
She said. It took a while for the penny to drop.
“
You mean
…
.You and Simon, surely not?"

  
“
Don
’
t judge me Lizzie, we can
’
t help the way we
feel, the worst thing is I haven
’
t been entirely
honest to Simon or anyone including myself.
”

Lizzie looked even
more confused.

   
“
Simon and I, we have erm
…
. you know. Don
’
t let me spell it out; Robert is erm
…
..
Simon
’
s son.
”
It was out, finally I had told my secret to someone. I could feel
hot tears stinging my eyes, the anger and shame I had put on this family.
Lizzie surprised me with her reaction. She remained calm and put her arms
around me and told me not to worry.

A week later a
letter arrived in the post addressed to me. I knew it was from Simon.

Dear Bella,

 
"As
you hopefully understand, I have to go in search of my real parents. I loved
mother and father with all my heart and nothing will ever change that. However,
I do have parents out there somewhere so I am going to try and find them.

Please tell Lizzie that I have
gone in search of them and I will be in touch.

The worst thing about all this is
thinking my love for you was wrong and now realising it was in fact very
normal. I have been in love with you for as long as I can remember.

The only reason we are not
together now, was because we thought we were brother and sister. I have been
cheated of a life  I could have had with you Bella.

I will be in touch very soon.
Remember, I love you with all my heart, and always will.

Lots
of love Simon

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

My name is Simon; I
was born on August 3
^rd
1973. My parents were Ted and Sarah Green, or
so I thought until recently.

I have three
siblings Lizzie, Bella and of course Ben. I have been in love with my sister
Bella for as long as I can remember; I believed the unhealthy feelings I had
were terribly wrong. Bella has been married twice and has three beautiful
children. Violet, Robert and Bella.  I found out recently that Lizzie and I
were adopted by Ted and Sarah Green.

They died many years
ago. Sarah died when I was fourteen and Ted died three years after.

The worst thing
about this situation is the love I have for Bella. We
’
ve
been with partners we haven
’
t really loved.

Bella is happily
married to Claudio now. But she`s had so much heartache in her life.

I had a breakdown
due to my love for her. The worst thing is not being able to have her.
 
Lizzie my sister, has always been thick skinned and seems to cope
with anything.

I found out we had
another brother Ben, a few days after father
’
s
death. Ben doesn
’
t visit much and keeps his distance for some reason. I wouldn
’
t say we are relatively close.

  
I am not sure where to start in searching for my birth parents.

Child family
services have told me they have records of them and fortunately the lady there
was very helpful.

I was sitting there
for what seemed like hours in a small room filled with as many chairs as they
could fit in it. A silver magazine rack posed next to the wall with some old
dated magazines and newspapers rammed into it. In the corner of the room was a
huge over bearing plant. I picked up one of the magazines and tried to keep
myself busy while I waited. A young woman was sitting opposite me biting her
nails.

Miss Read, the
social worker called me over.

  
“
I have found your birth parents Mr Green.
”

She handed me a
piece of paper with their details. My Mother
’
s
name is Barbara Stanford.. My Father
’
s name is Liam
Stanford. They live in a small sea side town called Brockville on the west
coast near Bristol. Miss Read was very helpful and I thanked her for her
kindness. The rest was up to me. I arrived in Brockville after hours of
driving. The town looked depressing. The address I was given was on a small
housing estate. I knew that the man who answered the door wasn't related to me.
The man was stocky with messy hair.

   
“
What do you want young man?
”

I didn
’
t like his manner and nearly walked away. However, I had travelled
such a long way.   

  
“
Do you know Barbara and Liam Stanford?
”
 
I asked.

  
“
Why who wants to know?
”

   
“
I believe they are my birth parents.
”
I
stuttered.

  
“
Yes, I knew them. Liam Stanford was a chronic alcoholic and your
mother left him many years ago.
”
The man said.

    
“
Do you know where they are?
”
I asked.

    
“
Your mother left this area as soon as you and your sister were
adopted. She took the news very badly. I  have an address where her sister
Caroline lives. I don
’
t know where your father is, but you are probably best not finding
him. He is most probably dead. Your mother`s sister I believe moved to a town
called Sandy Bay, on the South coast.
”

He disappeared
somewhere inside the house for a minute or two and came back waving a piece of
paper.

  
“
This is the address I have. Whether they are still there, I don
’
t know. Good luck!
”
           

  
“
Thank you! You have been very helpful.
”

He grunted as he
shut the door behind me. I booked into a hotel for the night and tried to get
some sleep. The next morning I drove to Sandy Bay. The town was very quaint
with big hotels everywhere. I could see the people who lived there were very
wealthy. I drove down a small avenue and the address I was given was for a big
hotel right at the end. There were palm trees outside and a swimming pool. This
place must have cost a fortune.
There's know way I'm going to find her here.
I thought. As I was about to turn my car around an old lady came out.

    
“
Can I help you young man
’
?
”
The old lady wasn
’
t at all friendly. Her chin was pointed and she had small narrow
eyes. She was extremely well spoken and very posh. However, her manners were
appalling.

    
“
I am looking for a Caroline.
”
I
asked her nervously.

    
“
There is no Caroline here.
”
she replied.
 

I could see she knew
something, but wasn
’
t going to give it away.

  
“
Do you have any vacancies?
”
I asked her.

  
“
Just a double room.
”
She answered.
“
You can take that, but you will have to pay the full price.
”

I decided to take
it. I was tired and needed a rest.
 
The room was
bright and airy with a sea view. After a few hours
’
sleep. I  showered and changed and went down for evening meal.

Everyone there
seemed very wealthy. I felt out of place. The old lady I spoke to earlier was
sitting in the reception area.

After eating my meal
I decided to have a drink in the bar; a friendly woman sitting at the end asked
me if I was here on holiday. I told her I was in search of my Mother.

   
“
What
’
s your Mother
’
s name?
”

   
“
Barbara Stanford
”
I replied. The woman had dark auburn hair, and hazel eyes. I asked
her about the rude old lady. She laughed.

    
“
Sorry. That
’
s my mother, trust me her bark is worse than her bite. We own the
hotel, but sometimes I feel I am just the dog
’
s
body along with my husband. Look over there, the man sitting in the corner by
the window, that
’
s him.
”
she told me.  I looked over, he was tall and very thin with a
goatee beard and moustache; he noticed me staring and walked over.