“Come on,” he whispered in my ear as he placed a hand on my lower back. He guided me to the entrance, nodding at the two men who were guarding it. They opened it for us and made sure none of the paparazzi followed in. His hand remained on my back and although it was inappropriate, given our relationship, it made me feel safe. I was nervous about my speech, about the whole event, but he had somehow calmed my nerves just by standing next to me. “Ready to go in?” he asked again, still quiet.
“Yeah…I’m ready.”
We walked through the lobby and to the stairs that would take us in. I gripped my dress with one hand and clung on to my clutch with the other hand. I was nervous yet anxious. I’d been working with this charity for the last year, and I just wanted this event to go perfectly for them.
“Don’t be nervous,” he said smoothly, just above my ear. Just as we were about to walk in, I heard William’s voice behind me, breaking the nerves that were just settling.
“Darling!” I quickly spun around, breaking Alex’s hold on me. Relief washed over me as I saw his urgent smile, running up to greet me. “I’m so sorry I’m late!” He engulfed me, wrapping his arms around my waist just where Alex’s were. I felt a strange twinge of guilt, knowing I was just about to walk in escorted by another man instead of William.
“It’s all right, dear. We were just about to walk in.” I smiled, holding back my disappointment that he wasn’t able to ride here with me. It always stirred up the media when we were photographed separately. All of a sudden, our relationship was in jeopardy because we hadn’t been ‘seen’ together in over a week when in reality, William was on a business trip, and I had made plans to have lunch with some friends. Apparently, that was too much time apart.
“Thanks for taking my place, son,” William said genuinely to Alex, patting his shoulder. His eyes flashed to mine for a split second and then his mouth turned into a firm line before he responded, “Anytime, Dad.” I heard the condescending tone in his voice, but William ignored it.
“Shall we?” William asked just before guiding me through the door.
I turned around and saw Alex standing frozen. His eyes locked on mine as his lips stayed in a tight line. I flashed a small smile, silently apologizing for William’s inconvenient interjection.
Alex had helped calm me—which William should’ve been doing all along—but he hadn’t, and now I was walking in without Alex. A part of me felt guilty, when I should’ve felt ecstatic William made it, but the other part wished he hadn’t.
The room was filled with Manhattan’s finest. Women and men overdressed in designer clothes, a private auction was taking place on one end, and a full bar was set up on the other. Just to attend, it was almost a thousand dollars per table. But it was the way these events worked. I’ve learned quickly it was about the rich looking for a tax deduction and a way for them to network with other rich people.
It was the ugly truth, but it wasn’t the reason I got involved in the first place. William knew that, but the press didn’t. Tonight, they’d all find that out though. I didn’t plan to hold anything back.
We took our seats just as a well-dressed server walked by and offered us glasses of champagne. William took two and handed me one, kissing me gently on the cheek. He knew I was nervous, but he wouldn’t bring it up. He was used to these events and public speaking, but he was an icon. People looked up to him and when he spoke, power and confidence radiated off him. I wish I were like that, but when it came to something so personal, self-doubt was the only thing that overcame me.
“I’ll be right back, darling,” William said, quickly pecking me on the cheek before walking away. He knew almost everyone at these events and was always sidetracked as work conversations came up.
“Sure thing.” I flashed a small smile at him as he backed his chair up and excused himself. I sat at the table alone, waiting for more people to arrive. The charity spokesperson would be tonight’s MC. I knew, as soon as she stepped on stage, I’d be up there with her shortly.
I continued drinking my champagne, hoping the alcohol would calm any nerves I had left. My body shivered as a hand brush against my shoulders, and I saw Alex sit next to me out of the corner of my eye.
“Ten minutes in and you’re left sitting alone.” His voice was deep, irritation laced in his tone.
“It’s fine,” I insisted. “He knows a lot of people.” I shrugged, taking another sip of my champagne but soon realized it was empty.
Alex waved another server over and grabbed two more glasses. “Here. You’re fidgety as hell.” I gladly accepted it, bringing the glass to my lips as soon as he handed it to me.
“Thank you,” I finally said, looking down and circling my finger over the glass rim.
“You want to go over your speech?” he leaned in and asked. “Get another practice round in?”
I shook my head, not wanting to over-think any of it. “No, thanks. If I practice it too much, I’ll become too emotional,” I explained. “So I’d just rather talk about something else if that’s okay?”
“Sure, I understand.” I watched as he took a sip of his champagne. He was back to nice Alex again, and I wondered how long it’d last. After a moment of silence, he leaned in and whispered, “If I were here with you, I’d never leave your side. I’d make sure everyone in this room knew you were mine.”
Apparently, it wasn’t going to last long at all.
“Alex…” I began, but he cut me off.
“I wouldn’t be able to take my eyes off of you long enough to even look at another woman, Mac. I’d remind you how beautiful you look, how you take my breath away, and how lucky I am to be here with you. The last thing I’d do is leave you alone.” I kept my head down but could see him out of the corner of my eyes. His stare was intense, his eyes burning into me as he spoke the very words that could tear my heart in two.
I swallowed before looking at him, sympathy written all over his face as I followed where he was looking. He was looking at William from across the room, chatting with another woman. She looked to be in her mid-thirties and she was rubbing her hand up and down his arm.
“She’s a friend of his,” I explained. “It’s nothing.”
“Are you sure?” He raised a brow at me. “Men don’t let their ‘friends’ grope them, especially in public.”
I scoffed. “She’s not groping him. William is not the type of man to make a scene.” He stood tall with his hands in his pockets, not encouraging the woman, but he sure wasn’t stopping her.
“If you say so.” He was still close to me, a little too close. I could smell the blend of his soap and cologne. It was a perfect mixture and suited him well, but it was making it impossible to think straight as it felt like he was interrogating me.
“William would never cheat on me,” I continued, although I wasn’t sure why I was defending my relationship to him. “He’s a loyal man.”
“And how can you be so sure?” he challenged. “Aren’t you the type of girl that’d never cheat on
him
?” I shot him a death glare, but he continued anyway. “Just goes to show, people are capable of anything.”
“Well, that was under the influence of a lot of alcohol and bad judgment. Or rather, no judgment at all.”
He smirked, sending butterflies straight to my stomach. “It’s amusing you say that.”
I turned toward him and crossed my arms over my chest as I flashed him an insulted stare. “What’s that supposed to mean? You know as well as I do I was beyond drunk and obviously made some poor decisions. Me waking up next to you with no clue as to who you were or what had happened proves that.” We were right back to our argument from last night.
“Sure…but that only means consciously you were letting your guard down and going after what you really wanted.”
“And what’s that?” I challenged right back.
“A man who pays attention to you…gives you what you need. A man who doesn’t waste time and lets everyone know you’re his. A man who takes what he wants, which, by the way, you gave to me willingly. There was a part of you that wanted just that even if on the surface you think you’re content with something else.”
“That’s not even close,” I spat out, almost appalled at how blunt he was being. Basically, he was saying I wanted to cheat on William and that wasn’t even close to the truth. “I’d never hurt William intentionally.”
“No one intentionally hurts anyone, Mac. Well, unless they’re a spineless asshole, but the brain works in mysterious ways. Sometimes, the subconscious part of you makes you act braver than you actually think you are. And in many ways, you’re very brave. Just like you are for coming here tonight.”
He snuck that last line in just as I was beginning to fume at what he was implying. I guess I believed some of what he was saying, but I’d never openly admit that I meant or wanted to cheat on William. In fact, up until I met Alex, I was completely one-hundred percent confident in my relationship with him. I was used to his late nights, early mornings, and busy traveling schedule. I’d become accustomed to his mid-dinner phone calls and hectic work days. I knew it came with the territory of being with him, and I’d fully accepted that. It gave me time to focus on my own career without being attached to the idea that William worked enough for the both of us. I hadn’t wanted that lifestyle—the one where the woman stays home, having lunch dates with girlfriends, and chatting about the latest gossip. I loved working in fashion, and I wasn’t going to give up what I’d worked so hard for in the first place.
But then Alex came and threw a wrench in everything. He made it painfully obvious how much I felt alone. He pointed out flaws about William I had never considered before. I knew William was a busy man, but hearing Alex say it over and over again was making me realize it so much more. And I hated that.
I hated feeling unsure of something I was so sure of before. And I hated it even more that Alex was the one making the effort to calm me and show an interest in what I was passionate about.
This was all too much. I couldn’t think about this right now, not when I was about to make the speech of my life.
ALEX DIDN’T LEAVE
my side—not when William finally came back over and not when William left once again when he spotted a few people he just needed a few minutes to chat with. This was my night and my fiancé couldn’t bear to stick by me for more than ten minutes.
However, I couldn’t get angry right now. I’d deal with it later because in about twenty minutes, the charity spokesperson, Helena, would be introducing me on stage to give the opening speech.
“This food is delicious. Did you coordinate it?” Alex asked as he cut into his steak.
“Yes,” I answered simply. “The shrimp is amazing.” I forked a piece and offered it to Alex without thinking.
Before I could take it back, he leaned in and took it from my fork with his mouth. He sat close, but now his mouth was inches from me. I just stared at him, in shock and awe as he moaned as the shrimp’s delicious flavor captivated him.
“Wow…you weren’t wrong. It’s incredible.”
“It’s the sauce,” I said quickly. “It’s the chef’s ‘secret recipe’ but I might’ve convinced him to tell me.” I smiled, proud that the food was a hit. I looked around and saw people smiling and nodding as they indulged in their food as well. William was off to god knows where, and although his plate was left untouched, and I was tempted to steal the shrimp right off of it, I thought better to leave it. When he returns, he can see a full plate of food that he missed.
“I bet you did.” He laughed. “You can be very convincing.”
“Only when I need to be.” I grinned. “I’ve worked with him on other events before, so we have a special food bond.”
“Well, at least you have your priories straight,” he said with amusement, shoving more food in his mouth.
“Well, from research, it’s a known fact people are willing to spend more money when they’re full and satisfied. Invest in the food, and people will invest in your charity.” I smiled wider, proud. I knew this from being involved in other events, but tonight, I wanted to knock our goal out of the park. I was determined.
I spotted Chelsea from across the room. She came with a date and looked stunning. I sent her a quick ‘thank you’ text and to tell her to enjoy the night as well.
Just as dessert was being served, William took his seat on the other side of me. He unbuttoned his jacket as he pushed himself in. He reached for his champagne glass that had to be warm by now.
“My apologies. What’d I miss?”
Alex started talking before I could. “Oh, you know. Just the whole dinner. And being by your fiancée as she prepares for her speech,” he answered coldly, irritation evident in his voice. My body shook as I felt Alex’s body tense up next to me. William looked unaffected as he began cutting into his food.
“Yes, and I’m sorry about that. I had some business to take care of.”
Business
? “How could you possibly have business to take care of when you’re at an event for me?” I asked, turning to look at him. I really didn’t want to start anything here, especially in front of Alex, but I couldn’t help the words come out of my mouth. I was a little pissed that he had just bailed on me.
“Darling…” he warned. “I’ll explain later. I’m sorry for being absent, but I’m here now, okay?” He looked at me with pleading eyes and I knew he was sincere. I nodded in return, not wanting to say anymore.
“Ladies and gentleman. May I have your attention, please?” My heart began racing as I heard Helena’s voice over the speaker. She was a chipper little thing. Her passion was as big as mine and she had been so delighted so many people had RSVP’d to come. “I am beyond words to see such a full crowd tonight. I can hardly express how it feels to know so many wonderful people are here to support the Coalition for the Homeless. Helping the homeless off the streets of New York and providing them with alternative options is our number one priority and with your help tonight, we’re one step closer.” She paused to give the audience a chance to applaud and then continued. “It is with great honor to welcome our coordinating host, Mackenzie Hewitt. Without her, this event wouldn’t be possible. Please help me in welcoming her up on stage!”
The audience went into a fit of applause. My body tensed until I felt Alex’s hand on my knee, grabbing my attention. He quickly leaned and whispered in my ear, “You’ve got this.” He leaned back and winked at me just before William wished me luck.
Oh god.
I was really going to do this.
I smiled at the crowd as I took the steps to the stage in front of me. My heart was pounding in my chest and the anxiety started to overcome me as all eyes stayed on me.
I’d given speeches before, but this one would be personal. This was my past, full on display for critique and judgment. This was something I was ashamed to admit, but at the same time, I knew I could potentially be helping hundreds of homeless children by opening up. I could only hope my experience would encourage others to donate and to become more aware of how this was affecting our city.
If not, I didn’t know what I would do. But I couldn’t think of that right now.
I smiled and nodded a silent thank you to Helena and stepped behind the podium, adjusting the microphone in front of me. I swallowed as I stared out into the audience, seeing all eyes up at me. I exhaled and smiled nervously, taking a step closer and clearing my throat.
“Thank you, Helena—” I flashed a smile at her and continued. “And thank you to everyone who took the time to come tonight. I can’t tell you how much the Coalition for the Homeless means to me. I decided to get involved shortly after I arrived to the city and have been fortunate enough to see all the wonderful progress in just the last few years.” I looked out and saw Alex’s eyes burned into mine. He was hanging on every word I was saying and the thought comforted me. I wasn’t sure why, but a part of me felt like he could relate on such a deeper level.