His hands rested on my shoulders and he whispered in my hair, “I’ve waited all these years to find what was right in front of me the whole damn time. You’re my life, Suzy Q. You’ve always been my life.” His hand slipped under the lacy cup of my bra and he tugged at my nipple. I moaned and that was all the encouragement he needed. He took my nipple into his mouth and I felt it all the way to my toes. He could do simply magical things with his mouth.
“I want you so bad, Cade, but not here. I can’t do it here. They’ll hear us.”
He laughed. “They’re all wasted. Do you really think they give a shit about what we’re doin’ out here by this old damn tree?” Then he slipped a finger under my thong and I was completely lost.
“Take me, please.” I was panting and didn’t know if he could even understand what I said. He must’ve because he slid his finger inside me and I came apart all around him. When I opened my eyes, he was staring at me.
“I’m beginning to think that you get off on seeing me do that.”
“Oh, definitely, it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. With all those other women, I was always waitin’ for somethin’. Now I understand why I couldn’t find it. It’s because what I was waitin’ for was the look I put in your eyes, not theirs. They could never give me that. That’s all my Suzy Q.”
“Didn’t we discuss this earlier, cowboy? I don’t want to hear about the many women who have enjoyed the pleasure of your company.”
“Sorry,” he said sheepishly.
“Who would’ve ever thought?”
“What?
“Cade Walker being all sweet. When the hell did you turn into a girl?”
“A girl, huh.” He thrust into me and asked, “Still think I’m a girl?” I couldn’t speak. I shook my head and lost myself in those icy green eyes that were full of lust for me and only me.
~Chapter 20~
Suzanna~
When the day of Callie’s wedding rolled around, I was a crazy bundle of nerves. I was so full of excitement and so nervous that I was about to puke and I wasn’t really sure which emotion was making me so sick. I kept envisioning myself throwing up all over the beautiful white eyelet afghan on the bed in the guest room at Cade’s house. I had been sleeping in his room, but my clothes were in the guest room. It was better for Isabella that way. I thought it would be less confusing for her. When she got up in the morning, I was in the guest room getting dressed.
I was excited for Callie. I loved that girl so much and she deserved to be happy with an awesome guy. Walt was a good man. He had loved Callie forever and I knew that he would make the perfect husband for her. They were the perfect pair…where Callie was sarcastic and brash, Walt was serious and kind. It took Callie long enough, but she finally realized that Walt was just what she needed.
But I was nervous because I had got to thinking that I had made a mistake when I asked Cade to be my date for the evening. Dexter was a teeny, tiny typical country town. The old ladies gossiped daily at the beauty shop and the old gentlemen met each morning at the diner to go over all of the previous day’s excitement. This would be excitement. I was pretty sure I was already being labeled the town tramp and this would just fuel the fire of the rumor mill.
I really hoped that people wouldn’t think I’d left Branch because of Cade, but in SMA (Small Town America) it would be the first assumption that was made. If Branch was talking, I knew he wasn’t telling people the real reason why I left. He wouldn’t do anything to make him out to be the monster that I knew he was.
But I really didn’t think he was saying much, if anything at all. Apparently, he was hiding somewhere because we hadn’t seen hide nor hair of him since he left our house the night of the beating, or I guess I should refer to it as the final beating. That was the last time Branch was ever gonna lay a hand on me. Cade and the other Walker boys had searched everywhere for him, but the man couldn’t be found. I wasn’t sure how they got him to sign the divorce papers, but I assumed Lisbeth had something to do with it. Not only was she in love with Cord, and had been since we were kids, she knew that Branch had issues and needed help. We’d talked about it right after the beating and she told me she would do anything she could to help me and Isabella. Lisbeth was a great person and I really wished Cord would wise up and make an honest woman out of her.
I was torn from thoughts of puking all over the floor of the guest room when I heard Cade holler from down the hall, “You ‘bout ready, Suzy Q?”
Just hearing his voice always brought a smile to my face. That damn boy had the voice of cowboy angel. Well, I’m pretty sure that’s what one would sound like.
“I’ll meet you downstairs. I need to work on making myself beautiful.”
“No work necessary, hon. You always look beautiful. Now get your butt downstairs, we’re already gonna be late.”
“Don’t yell at my momma, Uncky Cade.” I heard Isabella say to Cade in the hallway.
“Baby girl, I wasn’t yellin’ at her. I was just tellin’ her how pretty she is. You know somethin’ else? You look just like her. You know what that means, right?”
“It means I’m pwetty too?” Isabella answered in her sweet little voice.
“Yes, baby girl. That’s exactly what it means.” Then I heard Cade give her a big ole loud kiss before he told her to hang on and then I knew exactly was he was planning on doing and I wasn’t gonna let it happen.
“Cade Allen Walker! Don’t you dare slide my baby down that banister,” I yelled from my room. I didn’t need to see him to know what he was thinking.
“Momma, says no, baby girl,” Cade told Isabella in his normal voice, then I heard him whisper, “We’ll just have to do it when she’s not here.” Isabella giggled.
“I heard that, Cade,” I chastised him.
“Are you ready to go or not?”
I opened the door and walked out into the hallway. He froze in his tracks. He looked, well, I don’t know, shocked.
“You okay?” I headed over to him to grab Isabella because it looked like he was about to drop her. I took her from him and placed my hand on his bicep and gave it a little squeeze. “You okay, cowboy?”
He shook his head before he answered. “Uh…yeah…hon. I’m fine. Goddamn, you look amazin’.” Then I got that Walker smirk I was waiting for.
“Don’t curse in front of Isabella,” I scolded Cade.
I knew I looked good. Almost all of the bruises were gone and the ones that weren’t, I applied a little concealer to. I had on a short lime green dress with ruffles all along the bottom. It showed a little cleavage and it was cut low in the back. The reason I bought the dress was because it had beautiful golden dragonfly's embroidered on both short flutter sleeves. I pulled my hair up and left a few tendrils down on the sides. I wore my signature gold dragonfly clip in my hair and gold sandals. I never wore much make-up, but I had put on some mascara, a little eyeliner, and some shimmering gold eye shadow. My eyes were popping, as Callie would say.
I felt pretty tonight and confident. It had been a long time since I felt that way, or I guess felt like I deserved to feel that way. I was getting stronger the longer I was away from Branch. I was feeling more like my old self. More like the Suzanna that didn’t take shit from anybody, the Suzanna who wanted more from life than to pray that her husband didn’t get upset because she didn’t cook his dinner the way he wanted her to. How many nights had I sat and fretted over that? I couldn’t even count them all. But he was my ex-husband now and he couldn’t hurt me anymore.
“We better get goin’, Suzy Q. Come on Izzy B let’s go see Uncle Clay.” Cade took Isabella from me and went downstairs to find Clay. I took the wedding present from the dresser and started downstairs.
I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror at the top of the stairs. My eyes looked so different. Of course, I wasn’t just talking about the makeup, I actually looked happy. God, I missed looking and feeling the way I felt right then. How had I made myself believe I didn’t deserve to feel this way? What had I allowed that bastard to do to me and my feeling of self-worth? I missed me. I missed Suzanna.
I whispered to myself, “Thank God you’re back Suzanna. We missed you around here.” I couldn’t help but smile. Yeah, I might’ve seemed a little crazy talking to my reflection in the mirror, but it needed to be said. It was the God’s honest truth…I missed me. But no more. Branch was gone and I was taking my life back. Wow, what an awesome feeling.
I traipsed my happy self down the stairs and gave Isabella a kiss on the cheek.
“Now ya’ll don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” Clay said with a wink of his eye. Isabella tossed a cheese puff toward his mouth. He tried to catch it, but missed and it fell on the floor. Cade picked it up and threw it in Clay’s face. He leaned toward Clay and whispered something so Isabella wouldn’t hear him.
Cade took my hand in his. “Ready to go, beautiful?” I nodded and we started out the door. Isabella started blowing us kisses as she jumped into Clay’s arms.
“Love you, Momma.”
“Love you too, baby.”
“Love you too, Uncky Cade. You better take good care of my momma!” We turned around to look at her and she was shaking her little index finger at Cade. Clay was about to lose it. He was trying so hard not to crack up.
“I promise, baby girl. Uncle Cade will take real good care of your momma.” Cade turned and winked at me when he said that and I swear my heart skipped way more than one beat. That man had to be the most sexual human being on the planet. Seriously, the entire planet. Just a wink and I was his.
The drive to the wedding seemed to take forever. Driving over all those winding hills, making sure to watch out for a deer with a death wish, took some extra time. When we finally made it to the wedding, I thought we were gonna have to turn right back around and leave because of Cade’s irrational love for his big damn pick-up truck.
He was so pissed because of the parking arrangements for the evening’s festivities. That man loved his truck more than anything and he was so particular about it. We had known the wedding was being held in the barn at Callie’s parents’ ranch, but we both assumed that the parking would be up by the main house. Well you know what they say about assuming…
“Ralph, I ain’t parkin’ in there. It’s the goddamn back forty! Just let us park up by the house and walk down,” Cade said to Ralph, one of the Estes Ranch farmhands that was helping park cars.
“Mr. Walker, I cain’t do that. Mr. Estes left specific instructions - nobody can park by the house. Ya know I would, but I could lose my job. I’m real sorry.” Ralph was just a little thing. Cade had a good eighty pounds and probably a whole foot of height on him. Ralph was damn close to messing his pants.
I put my hand on Cade’s shoulder. “Cade, just park in the field like everybody else. We can wash your precious truck tomorrow. It. Will. Be. Fine. You do realize trucks are made to drive through fields, right? I mean, you do know that, right?”
Cade was not smiling. He was pissed and I was kinda getting a kick out of it. Actually, it was damn funny. Just the look on his face was priceless.
He was snarling at Ralph…like really snarling. Like a rabid animal or something. I was just waiting for the growl to come out his mouth. “Fine! I’ll park in the damn field. But I’m tellin’ ya right now, if anything gets stuck in the undercarriage, my buddy Ralph here is gonna crawl his ass under and pick it out...with his teeth.”
That pretty much sealed the deal. Ralph was gonna have a stroke and it wasn’t gonna be pretty.
“Seriously, Ralph, it’s okay. Just ignore him. He’s being a jerk…pay him no mind.” I said with a chuckle. Cade just glared at me as we pulled through the field and parked.
Cade came around and opened the door for me...always the gentleman. He lifted me up outta the truck and set me down on my feet in the grass.
“Uh, thanks,” I said as I tried to adjust my dress. My left breast just about made an unexpected appearance when he picked me up. I looked up and noticed that Cade was staring at my chest. “Um, excuse me, cowboy, but my eyes are up here.” I used two fingers to point at my eyes.
“He do that?” Cade asked as he nodded down toward my breast.
Shit, I forgot about that.
Branch wasn’t a smoker, but one night he came home with some cigars his dad had been sent from somewhere, Cuba maybe? I don’t know. Anyway, he had gone off on me that night because I hadn’t vacuumed the floor correctly. Apparently, I went in too many different directions and it left tracks on the carpet. That infuriated him so much that he held me down on the couch and pressed the lit end of the cigar into the side of my breast. I didn’t know how Cade had missed it when we were in bed.
I finally replied, “Yeah.” I couldn’t look up at Cade. My eyes were glued to his boots. Cade put his finger under my chin and tilted my head up so my eyes would meet his gaze.
“That man...I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. He’s not a fuckin’ man. That bastard will never lay a hand on you again. I promise you with everything I am, Suzanna, never again will he touch you.” I could see the pain in his eyes. He was hurting because of what had happened to me. I couldn’t stand to see him hurting for me.
A tear slipped down my cheek. He wiped it away with his finger and took my hand in his. “We’re gonna miss the good parts if we don’t get inside, hon. No more tears, okay? Never cry another tear for that bastard again, you understand me?”
I nodded and we headed into the barn. Callie’s cousin, Meg, was my favorite of all of Callie’s cousins - and she had a ton of cousins. Meg happened to be a pretty popular wedding planner in Dallas, so she had taken care of all of the details for Callie’s big day. And she had completely outdone herself.
The outside of the barn just looked like any other old country barn. It was a deep mahogany red and it was huge. When we walked inside, it took my breath away. I had stood in this barn a million and one times and never dreamed that it could look so beautiful and elegant.
The middle of the barn, I guess it could be called the great room, was gorgeous. The ceiling had layers of white tulle criss-crossed across the entire room. The tulle had white twinkle lights above it, which made it look like stars in the sky. There were round tables covered in white tablecloths with black and lime green runners, lining either side of the room. Callie had picked lime green and black for her wedding colors. The centerpieces on the table were flat mirrors with a lime green glass bowl filled with water and floating candles. There were black gems sprinkled all around the mirror. The candles mixed with the gems were making the most beautiful kaleidoscopes around the room. It looked like a magical wonderland. I was so happy for Callie that it had all turned out just the way she had envisioned. Thank God for cousins who were wedding planners.