Doubt (The Connected Series Book 1) (13 page)

"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul; that makes us reach for more, that plants the fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. That
’
s what I hope to give you forever.”

I gasp, silent tears rolling down my cheeks. Doug knows me, he knows I’m a romantic, he knows I want a happily ever after. He knows my favourite perfume, he knows exactly how I like my coffee, and he knows my stomach wakes up much later than the rest of me does so not to offer me breakfast before we leave for work. He also knows that one of my favourite films is
The Notebook.
And that is where the note on this paper comes from. My phone bleeps at me just then and I reach out to see who it is, already knowing before I even look, that it is Doug. The first text is from just before I got into the shower. 

I’ll leave you for now. I know you need time. But please, give me a chance to explain. x

The most recent one is also from Doug.

I will see you later. Please re-think about coming with me. We don’t have to talk about it tonight, I don’t want to spoil your evening, but I need to know you are okay. I love you Sophie, that hasn’t changed. X

More tears fall. The note, the text, I know nothing for Doug has changed, but everything for me has. How can I trust him? How can he think that we can just keep going? I reply to his recent message, if only to stop him texting.

I
’
ll get a taxi. I will see you tonight.
 

I put my phone on charge, pick up my wine and take it back to my bedroom along with my iPod. I click it onto the docking station, turn up the volume and hit shuffle. It’s as if it knows I need cheering up,
Blurred Lines
blasts out from the speakers making me smile, I bloody love this song! I dance over to the dresser and sit down, ready to start my transformation. With my make up on, I can be a warrior, I can face whatever shit life wants to throw at me, and I will do just that. 

Forty five minutes later and my face is ready. I’ve set my hair into rollers and am just picking out my dress when I hear my phone ringing. I run to the kitchen and answer.

“Hello?” 

“Hey girlie, are you ready?” 

“No Miley, I’m not, I still have loads of time.” I roll my eyes, Miley is naturally gorgeous and it takes her ten minutes tops to get ready, she has no patience when it comes to getting ready. 

“How can you not be ready? I bet you’ve been getting ready for hours haven’t you?” she mocks. 

“No, only the last forty-five minutes.” 

“Girl, I could have got ready for five different events in that time” she laughs

“Is Doug there? Is
that
why you’re taking so long.” her dirty laugh is so loud I actually hold the phone away from my ear. 

“No he isn’t, I’ll just see him there...” 

“Why? It makes no sense for you to drive, you can’t drink then.” she sounds suspicious. 

“I’m not driving, I’m taking a cab.” Please don’t ask any more questions; I whisper to myself, I’ve only just finished my makeup I do not want to cry it off! 

“Ooookay, well I’ll let you finish getting ready and see you there. Bye babes”

She blows a kiss down the phone which makes an awful noise and then she’s gone. Crisis avoided... For now at least.

Everything right now just yells Doug. The outfit I planned on wearing, no,
set my heart
on wearing is one Doug bought me, even down to the underwear. The red ball gown is his favourite. It’s my favourite too if I’m being totally honest. It is a deep red colour with a sweetheart neckline. It is beautiful made of silk chiffon; the front is gently pleated while the back cascades in a mermaid tail train. It’s stunning. The bodice is boned which is a blessing, keeps the ladies in place and helps create that perfect hourglass figure. It is simple elegance.

As I slip on my black satin corset, I am reminded of happy times with Doug, the first time we attended a charity ball together, I wore exactly this outfit. We had gone shopping together, we both needed a few things and after a crazy week, we just wanted to relax, and shopping is my way of relaxing. 

15 months earlier

Walking through the women’s department, Doug stops, tugging on my hand to look at what has caught his eye.

“You have to have this.” he whispers to me, pulling me to his side.

“Doug, I can’t afford this, how much do you think I earn? We’re here for you, not me.” I roll my eyes, starting to walk in the other direction. 

“You need to have this, try it on at least, it was made for you, look at it.” he picks it up off the rail and is now walking ahead of me, toward the changing rooms holding the dress. 

“Doug,
no!
I’m not trying it on, that is torture, I can’t afford it!” I whisper growl to him.

“I want to see you in it,
please
.” he pleads handing the dress over to the lady standing by the dressing room. 

“This way madam.” she smiles

“Your husband has fabulous taste.” I follow along behind her, while Doug takes a seat in the waiting area.

“Make sure you come and show your
husband
now.” he grins wickedly at me.

“You’re
not
my husband.” I growl. 

I strip down to my knickers and step into the dress, the silk brushes against my skin, it feels wonderful, sexy. I turn around and look in the mirror.
Wow
. This dress looks like it really
was
made for me; it holds me where it should, and floats down to the floor. I look like I belong on the red carpet. 

“Are you in it yet?” Doug calls.

“Yes, give me a minute.” Pulling my hair back I pull the curtain open and step out. I hear the sharp intake of breath and look up to see Doug’s mouth is open; he is doing a great impression of a cod fish.

“Close your mouth.” I laugh “It isn’t a good look for you.” 

“
Wow
. Sophie. You’re stunning.” He stands and comes to place a heated kiss on my lips, fisting my hands in his hair; we lose ourselves to the kiss, completely forgetting where we are. We break away when we hear a discreet cough behind us.

“You look stunning,” The sales lady smiles, “Would you like it wrapped?” 

“Erm, no, thank you.”

I flush, retreating back to the changing room. I can hear whispers outside the curtain and dread what is being said. Unzipping the dress, I feel deflated, see,
this is why I didn
’
t want to try this dress on,
I can’t afford it. It really is torture. Placing it back on the silky hanger I chance a peek at the price tag, knowing full well, that someone who could afford such a dress wouldn’t even look at the price tag.  £1,999
What
? For a dress? No way! Smiling, I hand the dress back to the lady and leave the changing area. Doug is waiting for me just outside.

“You really did look stunning in that dress, Sophie.” he kisses my forehead and clasps my hand. 

“I adored it, but it isn’t coming home with me.”

After our shopping trip we drive back to Doug’s apartment, ready to unpack our purchases and get ready for the evening. I am setting out all the things I bought, just looking, when Doug comes into the bedroom. 

“These are for you.” he grins, handing me four bags.

“If I look inside these bags, am I going to find what I hope
not
to?” I scowl.

“Well, why don’t you look and see.”

He laughs lying on the bed and propping his head on his hand. Cautiously, I peek into one of the bags, spotting a cardboard box and the name
Christian Louboutin
on it; I hastily cover my eyes groaning.

“What have you done..?” I groan sinking to the floor, the plush carpet feeling like a carpet of cotton wool balls beneath me.

“You haven’t even looked yet, look.” Doug laughs tapping my head.

I reach up and take one of the bags, inside is a satin pouch. I carefully remove it and look inside; it contains a stunning black velvet clutch with a silver clasp. It is beyond beautiful and I fall in love with it, right there and then, sitting on the floor. 

“Do you like it?” Doug is leaning over the bed smiling. 

“I love it, thank you,” I lean up kissing him softly “But I can’t accept it, it must have cost a fortune, Doug.” I frown. 

“Nothing I can’t afford, and certainly nothing you don’t deserve, here,” he says passing me the other three bags, “Look in these too.” 

Curiosity gets the better of me and I open all three bags. One contains a pair of the sexiest heels known to man and women for that matter. It’s a black sling back pair of
Christian Louboutin
’s
, red soles and all. They are gorgeous and if I had to keep one thing, I would have kept these. In the remaining two bags were an elegant, yet sexy black satin corset and stockings - which I knew, would drive Doug crazy.

The third bag was a bit of a surprise, based on the theme of the items in the bag, I was certain; this was going to contain the dress. I was wrong. Inside was the most beautiful purple silk and black lace chemise. It was stunning; there was no other way to describe it. 

“Do you like them?” Doug leans down, planting a kiss on my shoulder, turning my head to capture his lips.

“I adore them all, thank you. You spoil me.” I kiss him again and feel the deep dark need building.

“You deserve them, Sophie, you make me so happy, I have no idea how to express that to you, but I want to try and show you.” 

“Doug...” I kneel up; cradling is face in my palms. “You do show me, all the time, I don’t need all this.” I wave at the bags around me.

“I know that, it’s one of the things I love about you, which makes me want to buy you more things.” He grins up at me, looking so playful. 

“Well, thank you, but no more. For at least another 10 years! This lot must have cost you a fortune.” I frown. 

“Don’t worry about it, trust me,”

He leans up and captures my lips; I fall back, pulling him on top of me, needing to feel him. Reaching around, my hands dart under his shirt, roaming up and down his hard, muscled back, feeling his warmth, needing to feel more. 

“Doug, I need you…” I gasp, when he kisses that sweet spot just below my ear. “I need you.” I whisper again.

“You have me.” he grins against my neck. We’re all mouths and hands and it’s delicious. 

“I forgot one thing.” He whispers, removing himself from my clutches. He walks into the bathroom and brings back with him, yep, you guessed it, the dress. 

“
Douuuuug
.” I groan covering my eyes.

Really, I don’t want to appear ungrateful, and I’m not, but he has a spending addiction when it comes to me clearly, I know the price of the dress and I can make a pretty good guess how much the other stuff cost him.

“What?” he grins innocently, “You said you liked it, but that you couldn’t afford it, well, I can...” He holds the dress out to me like he is awarding me a prize, and with the price of it, he kind of is. 

“I know what I said. You clearly weren’t listening earlier when I told you, it’s too much, and that was before this.” I gesture to the dress. 

“Nothing is too much, now take this and hang it up somewhere so we can finish what we started.” he husks slowly unbuttoning his shirt…

I’m snapped out of my reminiscing by my phone ringing.

“Hi mum” I say answering the phone and turning the volume down on my iPod.

“Sweetheart, how are you?” she asks happily.

“I’m good mum, how are you?”

“Yes, we are good sweetheart, are you looking forward tonight?” she asks.

“Yes I am, it will be a good night.” I reply, trying to convince myself. 

“It will. I’ll let you go, I just wanted to wish you a happy night.” she says. I can hear my dads voice, muffled in the background.

“Sophie, your dad says make sure you take a jacket, its cold tonight.” 

“Yes mum.” seriously, what am I? A two year old? 

I hang up the phone and slip into my stockings, the silk and slinky material instantly makes me think of sex, attaching the suspenders I think how much Doug loves it when I wear these, he will be running his hand up my leg to check for the telltale bumps within the hour. I look forward to his reaction.
No, no I don
’
t
, he won’t be checking for bumps, I’m not planning on being close enough to him for that. I frown; realising tonight will be more difficult than I thought. We sent our RSVP back together, the host of the event knows we are together, we will be sitting together, I can’t avoid him. I’ll deal with that later, I really do need to get ready or I will be late. 

Removing the rollers, I decide to leave my hair down, it’s wavy and full and I don’t have time to do anything with it now anyway. Slipping into my dress and heels I can’t help but sway to the sensual voice that is
Michael Bubl
é
singing about feeling good. Grabbing my clutch and putting my phone, lip gloss, keys, money, the necklace Doug bought me back from New York into it, I switch off the lights and make my way out just the buzzer goes, alerting me to the taxi waiting for me outside.