Echoes of the Heart (21 page)

When she sighed into him, he was overcome with an urgent need to take her to bed and make love to her. The need to demonstrate the depth of his appreciation for the selfless woman that she was burnt through him. Words were not enough to tell her how much he treasured the way she cared for others, her willingness to forgive his treatment of her and give their relationship another chance. He wanted to show her by worshipping her completely with his body.

On his part, their union would be like a statement of intent—a promise that their future would be wonderful and satisfying. Even though he couldn’t right all the wrongs that had been inflicted upon her, he was determined she would feel his commitment to taking all her cares away, keeping her safe and making her happy. He’d been guarding himself from hurt all this time, but he needed to take away the barriers and let her in.

His heart swelled as his hands threaded through her hair. His lips curved up into a smile of anticipation he was unable to suppress. Finally, there were no obstacles and no barriers between them.

She would be his wife to have, to hold, to cherish and to support.

Her hands reached up around his neck. ‘I need you, Jake,’ she murmured almost shyly against his chest.

Those words pulled him up with a start.
Needed or loved?
She hadn’t told him she loved him—then again, he hadn’t voiced his feelings either.

He’d already had one failed marriage. Friendship, understanding and mutual trust hadn’t been enough to sustain his marriage to Sophie. The passion had been missing.

With Amanda the passion was there. It was undeniable. But when it came to friendship, trust and understanding, their relationship was on shaky ground. He couldn’t marry her without knowing they had those qualities because they were fundamental to any relationship. They were elements he believed they could foster over time.

Slowly
, he cautioned himself. Tonight they’d started to trust each other. It might be too early to blurt out that he loved her when his actions up until this evening had proclaimed just the opposite. She might not believe him—might think his feelings were still just sexual. Telling her he loved her just wasn’t enough. From now on, he determined, he would show her how much she meant to him with his every action.

Court this woman
, a voice deep within him advised.
She is the future. Convince her of your love
.

But, he couldn’t hold back as he kissed her like a man possessed. He was unable to get enough of her.

When he tasted her tears, he lifted his mouth away from hers. ‘Amanda?’

She gave him a watery smile. ‘I can’t resist you, Jake. I want you to make love to me so badly, I think I’ll die if you don’t.’

He swept her up into his arms and carried her up the stairs and into his bedroom. Their bedroom.

His eyes full of unbridled need, he set her down on the floor next to the bed and removed every stitch of her clothing with trembling hands, kissing her bare flesh as he went.

Although she was exhausted from the day’s revelations, her body throbbed for the intimacy of Jake’s possession. She’d offered to walk away from him and he’d declined. Now, everything in her wanted to reaffirm that she was his lover. He was a powerful man and was capable of taking care of any bad publicity that came from his relationship with her. He’d already survived the no-confidence motion.

No more running away. For as long as it lasted, she would enjoy this relationship and would not allow herself to have any regrets.

When at last she stood naked before him, he divested himself quickly of his clothing and she gulped at the sheer perfection of him. Seconds later she was back in his arms as he eased her back onto the bed.

‘Just relax, sweetheart,’ he commanded.

Jake’s arms around her were heavenly and for the first time in years their closeness felt honest as well as right. There were no secrets between them. No time limits. No pretence she was there under an obligation, or that he was trying to purge her from his system. They were together because it was what they both wanted and, God help her, she was going to try to build on what they had and make it last.

‘Enjoying yourself?’ he asked, bending over her.

A shiver of response passed through her body as his teeth nibbled at her ear. ‘Yes, but —’

‘But?’ he repeated with mock indignation.

‘But —’ She rolled him over, then sat on his thighs. ‘— this is better.’ Facing him she let one hand rest against his chest and with the other, she reached for his arousal.

‘That’s...sweet torture,’ he groaned as her hand firmed around his length and began to stroke up and down.

His quick in-drawn breath was audible.

Amanda leant forward and allowed her hair to brush over his chest. Satisfied by the strong, rapid heartbeat under her palm, she removed her hand from his chest and onto the mattress to support her weight while her other hand continued its rhythmical slide up and down. Boldly, she slid the tip of her tongue along his lower lip.

His eyelids snapped open.

‘I need to be inside you,’ he whispered against her mouth, his voice hoarse with longing.

‘And I need you to be inside me.’ Amanda couldn’t contain herself from taking Jake deep within her. A slight movement of her hips and the tip of his erection was positioned right at the opening of her womanhood. She muttered a protest as his strong hands settled on her hips, stilling any further movement.

‘This isn’t just about sex, Amanda. I want you to know that.’

The promise of his words made her fall in love with him a little bit more, but right at that moment she needed to be filled by him. Needed him inside her so badly that if he didn’t let her take him in, she would go crazy. She pushed against the resistance of his hands and watched him throw his head back and groan as she speared his body into hers.

Jake thought he’d erupt as she kissed his mouth and rode him with a fierce hunger that would not be denied.

This wasn’t the way he planned it. Wanting to take things slowly, he’d envisaged a long, sensual seduction. He’d wanted their lovemaking to be a thorough demonstration with his entire body of just how much he loved her.

It was out of his hands because she’d taken control. As pleasure flowed through him, he recognised the fact that she needed to assert herself and dominate him. She was taking him and it was wild, savage sex. Their coupling was a statement of intent—she wanted to set the boundaries and let him know she wasn’t going to play a submissive role in his life.

It both surprised and delighted him. Far from wanting her as a passive wife, he wanted her to stretch her wings and fly, to reach her full potential and be the happiest, most confident person she could be.

His hands savoured the smoothness of her back then lowered, grasping the flare of her hips and the perfect firm roundness of her bottom. Short fingernails dug into his shoulders and she groaned into his mouth in response to his touch.

The tension within him built. With every thrust of her hips his need for release was more acute. Every muscle strained as he tried to hold on to his control. The most sensitive part of him throbbed and burned to explode within her silken sheath.

Breathing hard, she tore her lips from his, and kissed along his jawline, her tongue flicking along the ridge. The grip on his shoulders bordered on painful, then she arched her back. His arms supported her as she spasmed around him, again and again. Muscles clamped around him. Released. Clamped. It was impossible to hold off any longer. He closed his eyes tight, then shuddered as he climaxed with her.

When he opened his eyes the tears streamed down her face, but she sent him a tired, teary smile.

‘I needed that,’ she confessed with a sheepish expression.

He couldn’t suppress his laughter. ‘I noticed.’

The happiness in her expression as she joined in his laughter made her more beautiful than ever, but his laughter died in his throat, and he regarded her seriously. Despite all his earlier urgings, he couldn’t hold himself back.

‘Marry me, Amanda.’

Amanda froze. Hardly daring to breathe, she stared at Jake’s serious expression, wondering whether she’d misunderstood.

‘You want to marry me?’ she asked shakily. Every sense was on full alert, each nerve stretched taut awaiting his reply.

‘More than anything,’ he said with a tender smile.

It isn’t possible
, she told herself, frowning and shaking her head.

‘I love you, Amanda.’ There was no hesitation in his words—his voice was firm and clear. ‘I went through hell when you married Bennett. I misjudged you and I’ve treated you so badly since he died that I know you must doubt my love, but I’ve never stopped loving you.’

Joy burst through her heart at his words and the emotion in his eyes.

‘I want you as my wife. We’ve spent too many years apart and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.’

Her lips trembled into a smile and she pressed them together. Removing her hands from his shoulders, she raised her hands to her mouth, unable to believe that she could feel so happy.

Jake’s proposal was real. Here she was sitting naked on his thighs after incredibly satisfying sex, and he wanted to marry her.

This declaration of love and a chance at a future together was what she had longed for since the moment she met him. Yet she hesitated.

Amanda looked away from him, seized by nerves. Reality crashed in and all her old demons raised their ugly heads. Uncertainty gripped her as she worried the love they felt for each other wouldn’t be enough to make their relationship last. The differences between their upbringings and lifestyles were hurdles that stretched ahead of her on a long track. They seemed insurmountable. The decision was hers. Would she falter at that first jump?

A little whimper escaped through her lips and she tried unsuccessfully to push herself out of his embrace. ‘How can I possibly marry you, Jake?’

The tormented, half-sobbed words wrenched at his heart. ‘Amanda —’

‘I’m from a different class,’ she explained, turning her head away from him to hide her tears.

‘Class?’ The word was snarled with contempt.

‘I’ll always be the girl from the housing commission area,’ she returned with hopelessness and agony. ‘I’ll never be accepted by your friends or your family. I’ll always be seen as an opportunistic gold-digger.’

He raised one of her hands to his face, and her eyes followed the movement. ‘Feel me, Amanda. I’m a flesh and blood man.’ The same hand was lowered to his chest and she felt the strong beat of his heart. ‘This heart beats for you. Only for you. Do you think it matters to me where you lived? Isn’t it only what I believe about you, what I feel for you, that counts?’

Swallowing hard, she shook her head sadly. ‘I was never accepted by the crowd Lloyd socialised with —’

‘Forget Bennett!’ Jake declared, his whole body tensing with suppressed fury.

He took her hand to his lips and pressed loving kisses against her skin as he tried to control his anger at the mention of Bennett’s name and his frustration at her resistance. ‘This is about you and me, Amanda. This is not about the past. It’s about the future and the love I feel for you.’

Everything in her wanted him to persuade her they had a future together, but she was so unsure.

He smiled tenderly as he stroked her lips with his thumb. ‘I love you with all that I am.’ The words were like an oath.

Twin tears spilt from her eyes. He wiped each of them away gently with the fingertips of one hand.

‘There’s something I need to know,’ she said slowly.

‘Ask,’ he agreed readily.

Nerves assailed Amanda. Was she ready for the answers to the questions she needed to ask?

‘If you weren’t going out with Sophie when we met, how did you end up marrying her?’

For a few seconds he was still, while she tried to steady her nervous, shallow breaths.

Dark eyes lifted and held hers. ‘Sophie was a very close friend—she still is,’ he said at last. ‘We were lovers briefly when we were much younger—before I met you—but we’ve always remained friends.’ He glanced away for a few seconds before continuing. ‘Because we often went out to the same parties together people assumed we were a couple. While I wasn’t committed to anyone else, I agreed to keep up that impression.’

A frown creased Amanda’s brow. ‘Why?’

Jake’s jaw tightened. ‘Sophie’s grandfather is a real tyrant. He kept pressuring her to marry and he was keen for her to marry me.’

‘She must have wanted to marry you.’

‘No. She met someone she loved and she was engaged to him when I met you.’

Her head felt heavy on her shoulders as she shook it slowly. ‘But your friends said you’d had an argument. They were sure you’d get back together.’

He shrugged. ‘Nobody else knew the truth.’

‘Jake,’ she protested. ‘You married each other.’

He let out a breath. ‘Sophie knew her grandfather wouldn’t approve of the guy she loved and she planned to elope.’ He brushed a kiss against her forehead. ‘We let our families and friends think we were having a bit of a lover’s tiff—that way Sophie could be with her fiancé and plan her marriage without her grandfather preventing it.’

Amanda sat perfectly still and looked at Jake. Really looked at him. His expression was so sincere there was no doubt in her mind he was speaking the truth, but it didn’t make sense.

‘But you loved her,’ she insisted.

‘I didn’t love her, except as a friend.’

‘Why didn’t she marry her fiancé?’

His mouth twisted. ‘She paid him a surprise visit and found him in bed with someone else.’

Shock made her lips part and her free hand flew to cover her mouth. She felt sympathy for Sophie, but she was still lost in confusion. Her hand dropped down again. ‘That still doesn’t explain why you married her, Jake.’

His lips compressed then twisted ruefully. ‘Both of us were disillusioned at the time. I was totally gutted that you’d married Bennett—even more so to think you were pregnant with his child.’

‘I —’

He held up a hand to prevent her words. ‘Sophie and I turned to each other for support. Sophie’s grandfather was still making her life hell and we decided our friendship would be a solid basis for marriage. That we knew each other and could trust each other.’