End Game (15 page)

“Good. Hannah, you need to know that this is
going to happen.”

This time, all I can do is nod.

“Now, go get your tattoo. I still have to go
figure out what I am getting.”

I walked back towards Rayanne in a daze. She
quickly grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the back room.

“Girl, you need to tell me what the fuck I
just walked into.”

“I have no idea. Okay, that isn’t true. The
chick at the counter, Ariel, knows Zane…and I mean knows him. She
acted like I was a sister to him and it pissed me off. So, I got a
little touchy with him to put her in her place, and well, we didn’t
stop after she walked away. He told me it is going to happen, and
by it, he means him and I.”

“Oh shit Hannah. You are totally cashing in
your v-card to Zane, and soon.”

“There will be no cashing in of anything
until he tells me why he left me.”

“I keep forgetting you and him still haven’t
talked about that shit yet. I don’t know what he is waiting
for.”

“Me neither, but with the way I have been
feeling lately I really hope he tells me soon.”

“Has my Hannah finally started feeling
tingles in all the right places?”

“Fuck yes!!!”

Rayanne almost falls to the ground from
laughing so hard.

“I am so loving this new side of you Hannah.
It’s really an amazing thing to see.”

“I am not so sure how I feel about this whole
new side. I am kind scared of what I will say next. I feel like
this wall that was trapping me inside myself is breaking, and every
time a little piece breaks off, I do something that I would have
been way too afraid of before. I knew that she would find out. Now
she can’t say anything about what I do or say, and I am just
running with it, I guess. It scares the shit out of me.”

“Not me girlie. I knew that she was in there
and I love it!”

“Well, at least someone does.”

“I know for a fact that I am not the only
one. Zane really needs to talk to you before I blab my big mouth. I
don’t know how much more of this waiting shit I can take.”

“Oh really? You don’t know how much more you
can take. I am pretty sure that I am the one suffering.”

“Trust me. I am the one suffering. If that
dingbat would just talk to you, all would be right in the
world.”

“Ray, please tell me what he has to say to
me. I can’t take it anymore. All these things run through my head
and none of them are good.”

“Man, Hannah, you have no idea how much I
want to, but I need to let you hear everything from him. I promise
you that it will all be worth it.”

“Okay. I trust you and I trust him, so I will
just keep waiting. Enough about all this shit. I want to see your
tattoo.”

“Oh shit, that’s right! How could I have
forgotten?”

Rayanne lifts her shirt up to show me her
ribcage, and underneath a clear bandage I can see an anchor with
the words, “Hope Anchors the Soul.”

“Ray, it’s beautiful.”

“Thanks Hannah. I got it to remind me that no
matter what is going on in my life, I always need to have
hope.”

“I love it Ray.”

“Well, you’re next Hannah. Do you know what
you want?”

“Yeah, I have always known.”

“Okay, lucky bitch, go get tatted up by the
hot guy. So not fair that I got the old guy and you get sexy on a
stick.”

I freeze and can’t move another muscle. I
just assumed that I would get the old guy Rayanne got since she was
done. I cannot go to the hot guy.

“Ray, I thought I would get the old guy. I
can’t go to the hot guy. I have to take my shirt off to get this
tattoo.”

“Relax Hannah. You can do this. Plus, any guy
would be lucky to see you half naked.”

“You don’t understand Ray. I am getting the
tattoo over some of my scars. I can’t let him see my scars.”

“Yes you can Hannah. Those scars, in a sick
weird way, make you who you are. Own them girl. You are out with or
without them. Don’t be ashamed of what you have had to go through
to get to where you are.”

Wow! What Rayanne just said to me has gotten
through to me more than anything my therapist has said to me. I, of
course, won’t tell her that, and sadly I will keep paying her.

I have to fight back the tears that are
threatening to spill from my eyes.

“Thank you Rayanne. You have no idea how much
what you just said means to me. Nothing in my whole life has ever
made as much sense as what you just said to me. Well, I guess I am
about to go get naked with a bad ass tattoo artist.”

“What?”

I look up and see Zane walking towards
us.

Rayanne leans and tell me, “Go with me on
this.”

I turn to look at her and am super confused,
a little afraid, and a tad bit excited about what she will do.

“Zane, Hannah was just about to go get her
tattoo and she needed a little confidence boost, since she has to
take her shirt off for the hot tattoo guy.”

“Why do you need to take your shirt off
Hannah?”

“Oh, um, I am having some of the scars on my
back covered over with the tattoo.”

“So, you have to take your shirt off for
that?”

“Yes, I mean I can leave my bra on, but my
shirt will have to come off.”

“Okay Hannah. I am going to sit with you
while you get yours. I am not leaving you in a room half dressed
with some guy you don’t know. Not after what happened.”

“I will be in the room with her Zane,”
Rayanne assures him.

“And anyway Zane, aren’t you going to be
getting yours?” I add to the mix.

Zane is pissed that I am taking my shirt off
for this guy. The truth is he has nothing to worry about. If this
guy works with girls like Ariel, then he won’t even notice if I
hopped around naked in front of him. I am so not his type.

Just then the, sexy on a stick, tattoo artist
comes out. He looks at me and smiles.

“Hi, Hannah. I am Austin.”

“Hi.”

“So, are you ready for this. I promise to be
gentle, because I have a strange feeling this is your first
time.”

I just nod my head, because I am so flustered
I don’t know what else to do.

“Good. I am glad that I asked for you to be
mine tonight. I love virgins.”

I can hear Rayanne trying to hold in a laugh
and then she opens her big mouth.

“Oh honey, you have no idea how much of a
virgin this girl is, so go easy on her.”

“Rayanne!” Both Zane and I scream.

I look at Zane because I am a little shocked
at how upset he is getting with this situation. I just had to sit
and listen to a girl all but say to my face, “He has fucked me and
he won’t ever fuck you.”

“Listen dude. Just be nice and respectful of
her,” Zane tells Austin, in his own macho way.

“I will be nothing but respectful man. I
didn’t mean to step on any toes. I didn’t know that you two were
together.”

“Oh, they aren’t Austin, so don’t worry about
being nice or to respectful,” Rayanne tells Austin.

I am pretty sure that this is all part of
some sick plan she has to make Zane jealous. Surprisingly, it is
working. I have to try to hold a smile in. This is making me very
happy.

“Knock it off Rayanne. Hannah is already
nervous enough about getting a tattoo and about how undressed she
has to get.”

I am kind of getting pissed off at Zane. At
this moment, he sounds more like a big brother than a jealous
guy.

“I got it from here Zane. Thanks for all your
brotherly concern, but I can handle it,” I say as I start to walk
back towards Austin’s station.

Zane grabs my hand and says, “Hannah, you
have no idea what you’re talking about. Brotherly concern was the
furthest thing from my mind. Just know that.”

“All I know is I am so confused about what is
going on all the time. I would rather go get pricked with a needle
a million times than try to live in my head for one more second. I
need a break from whatever this is between us. I can’t live in this
constant state of not knowing anything about anything.”

I storm off towards Austin’s station, leaving
Zane behind.

Chapter
Twenty-Three

I walk into Austin’s station and pray that I can stop
myself from hyperventilating. What I just said to Zane are the most
honest words that I have spoken to him. I laid it out there on how
I know something is happening with us. What did I do? Having these
all-important balls is getting me into a lot of trouble lately.

“So miss Hannah, what are looking to
get?”

“I want a quote on my back.”

I pulled a piece of paper out of my purse
that holds the quote I am trying so hard to live by.

“Well, this is one I haven’t done
before.”

He pauses for a moment almost like he doesn’t
know what to say. Why is that so freaking adorable?

“I am sorry if I made you nervous out there
Hannah. That wasn’t what I meant to do.”

I look at Austin, like really look at him for
the first time, and my initial impression of him is so wrong. I
thought he was a sexy, bad boy, tattooed guy, and he is all that,
but just a little bit of adorable boy next door. He has incredible
blue eyes and perfectly messed up blond hair. He is the complete
opposite of Zane. Wow, he is hot, and so not what I needed right
now. I would much rather be taking my top off for the old guy right
now.

“It’s okay Austin. If you didn’t notice, by
how I acted or how my friend so nicely pointed out, I am a little
naïve to a lot of things.”

“It was cute.”

I stare at him, and I must have a look of
confusion on my face, because he elaborates on what is cute.

“How you reacted and handled your
situation…it was cute. I can see why that guy wants to be with
you.”

“Who, Zane? Yeah, I don’t know how much he
wants to be with me or just wants to protect me.”

“I know that I just met you Hannah, but as a
guy, I can tell you right now that he wants you.”

“Um…”

That is all I say, because I have nothing
else to add to this conversation. I feel like I have entered a new
dimension.

“Hannah, I just want to say one more thing
before we start. If that guy ends up being too stupid to make you
his, can you promise me that you will, maybe, give me a chance?
Just one date.”

“Absolutely she will!” Rayanne called from
the doorway.

How come Rayanne always comes in at the worst
times?

“Ray, what are you doing in here?”

“Girl, you didn’t think I would let you do
this alone, did you? There was no way was I going to let Zane in
here. He would have probably gotten into a fight if he saw how
sweet old Austin is staring at you.”

I turn to look at Austin and his face is
turning red. I have never seen anything so cute, ever. The sad
thing is, no matter how hot I think he is, I still want Zane. I
will always want him, even if he doesn’t want me. But, I am slowly
coming to the realization that what I want is just as important,
and I want Zane. I am going to do my best to make that happen, and
if it doesn’t happen I will do my best to get over it and move on.
I won’t be my mother. I will find happiness and joy in everything I
do in life.

“Thank you for coming in here to give me
moral support Ray, but I think that I want to do this alone.”

“Are you sure Hannah?”

“Yes, Ray. I am sure. Thank you again, and I
hope that you understand why I have to do this alone.”

“Oh, I know. I just wanted to see little
Austin here when he saw you take your top off!”

Rayanne gives me quick hug and whispers in my
ear.

“I am proud of you Hannah. The girl I used to
know, size difference or not, would never have done any of this.
Now, go get naked for the hottie.”

She walked out, but not before she smacked my
ass.

“Ow!” I said laughing at her.

“She is one interesting friend you have
there,” Austin tells me as I lay down on his chair.

“You have no idea. It sure makes life
fun.”

“I bet. So Hannah, where do you want this
thing?”

So here comes the hard part. I have to take
my shirt off for this part. I want the tattoo on my back, so it’s
shirts off for me. At least I can keep my bra on…I hope.

“I want it on my back. I have some scars back
there that I would like to be covered by the tattoo. Is that
possible?”

“It shouldn’t be a problem, but let me take a
look before I can say for sure.”

“Okay.”

I can hear the shaking in my voice, and I am
trying so hard to do this. This man will be the first person, that
I don’t know on a very deep personal level, to see my scars or my
body.

As I lift my shirt up, I am so thankful I had
the common sense to put on my cutest bra. I turn my back towards
Austin and he gently runs his hands up and down my scars. It feels
good, but not right. I know, deep down, the only person who is
supposed to rub my scars is sitting out there getting his own
tattoo.

“I can tell you that these should not be a
problem to cover up. I promise not to ask you how it happened, but
just know one of the things that I am really good at is
listening.”

“Thank you Austin. I don’t think I am ready
to tell you what happened, but if at anytime while you are
torturing me with that tattoo gun, and I feel the need to talk
about it, you will be the first to know.”

Austin starts laughing, and it really is a
great laugh. His whole face lights up, and he has the most amazing
dimples.

“Okay, so why don’t you lay down on your
stomach and I will go set everything up.”

“Okay, sounds good.”

As I turn to lie down on my stomach, I see
Zane walk in. He walks in and gets a full view of me in my bra.

I quickly finish turning and lay down on my
stomach. Again, thank God I wore my cute bra. I went from no men
seeing me in a bra to two in less than ten minutes. Awesome….