Feels Like Love (2 page)

“So
you can what?” Scott prompted.

April
shook her head. “Nothing, forget it.” Her palms were suddenly clammy and a knot
of anxiety settled in her stomach. She had been about to suggest they drive into
town to visit all her old haunts, but suddenly that didn’t seem like such a
good idea.

She
directed Scott to the two lane highway cutting across the valley. Fields and
pastures flanked both sides of the road, fences half buried in the snowdrifts.
Horses and cattle had carved long, dirty paths through the otherwise pristine
whiteness. April watched for the occasional farm house, her mind automatically conjuring
the names of the people who lived there as they drove by.

The
farm was at
the end of a long road that had been cleared of snow,
mostly
. Snowbanks
were piled on both sides, leaving a path wide enough for two cars to pass each
other,
barely
. Here and there the snow had not been totally scraped away
and the traffic on the road had compacted it into mogul-like speed bumps.

“Looks
like the snowplow driver was in a hurry,” Scott said, wincing as they bounced
over the road.

“Yeah,
Trevor probably got bored,” April said.

“
Trevor
?
How old is he again?” Scott asked.

“Fourteen.”

“He
shouldn’t be driving a snowplow, should he?”

She
laughed. “I was driving tractors by the time I was twelve, and so was he. But
he probably used the four-wheeler for the road; it’s his favorite toy.”

April
was suddenly nervous as they approached the house, a large, red brick rambler
with white shutters and a tall chimney. The house wasn’t exactly shabby, but it
was
dated. Her parents had never had the money to put into renovations. She
had not met Scott’s family yet, but from what he told her, they were quite well
off and lived in an upscale area of Denver. It was almost a certainty his childhood
home would be more impressive than hers.

“You
can park around the back,” she pointed to where the road curved around the left
side of the house.

There
was a patch of gravel large enough for several cars near the house, then the
road skirted a good-sized backyard and ended at the barns. A dark blue van was
parked near the house at the base of a cement ramp leading to the back door.

“That’s
weird, I wonder who’s here,” April said when she saw the van.

“Maybe
your parents are doing the bed and breakfast after all,” Scott suggested.

“Maybe,”
April replied doubtfully. “It’s got handicapped plates, but Mom didn’t say anything
about a new car.”

Scott
pulled in next to the van and shut off the engine with a sigh. “That’s a
long
drive. Remind me again why we didn’t fly?”

“And
miss out on a road trip?” April threw her door open. She took a deep breath as
they stepped out of the car, the sharp air stinging her nose. “There’s nothing
like that smell,” she sighed happily.

“Manure?”
Scott wrinkled his nose.

“Not
just
manure,” she protested. “There’s hay and horses and snow and …”

“All
right, I get it,” Scott laughed and held up his hands in surrender. “I’ll have
to take your word for it though, all I can smell is manure.”

They
heard a low roar from across the backyard and turned to see a four-wheeler with
a plow on the front tearing around the corner of the milk barn. The driver, in
thick coveralls and a ski mask, gunned the engine and headed toward them, driving
the four-wheeler up over the lawn and gouging deep tracks in the layer of snow.

“That’s
Trevor,” April told Scott as her baby brother pulled up beside them and shut
off the engine. “Mom’s going to kill you,” she said to him.

Trevor
stood up on the pedals to turn and survey the mess he’d made. “I’ll tell her
you did it,” he shrugged, his voice muffled by the ski mask.

“Yeah,
right. She’ll never believe that,” April countered. “Say 'hi' to Scott,
rude
.”

“Hey.”
Trevor’s eyes flicked over Scott, who nodded in return.

“Who’s
van is that?” April asked Trevor.

“Ours.
Mom and Dad got it a couple of months ago. It’s got a lift for Ben.”

“Really?
Mom didn’t say anything about it to me.”

Trevor’s
eyes narrowed. “You think she’s supposed to tell you every little thing that
happens when you’re gone? Hey April, I cut my big toenail too short last night
and it started bleeding. Thought you’d want to know.”

She
slugged him lightly on the shoulder. “You know what I mean.”

“Whatever.”
Trevor started the motor on the four-wheeler. “See ya later,” he hollered over
the noise. He spun around and went back the way he came, making a new set of
tracks across the lawn.

April
shook her head. “What a dork,” she said good-naturedly. Had it only been four
months since she’d last been home? Suddenly, it seemed much longer. “Come on, we
can get the bags later,” she grabbed Scott’s hand and led him toward the house.

The
back door opened to the kitchen. As they walked in, April saw it through
Scott’s eyes and cringed at the dated appliances and décor.

“So
… this is home,” she said a little shakily. Why was she so nervous? Scott loved
her. He didn’t care what the house looked like. She fiddled with the diamond on
her finger.

Scott
looked around, his eyes roving over the scratched linoleum and the rust-colored
appliances. “Something smells awesome,” he said, taking a deep breath. “I’m
starving.”

“You
made it,” April’s mom, Colleen, came around the corner from the hallway. “I was
starting to worry.” She hurried forward for a hug.

“We
would have called if there’d been a problem, Mom,” April reminded her. As
always, looking at her mother felt like a glimpse into her own future. They
shared the same blue eyes and light skin, and the same blonde hair that fell in
natural corkscrew curls, though April’s was several shades lighter than her
mother’s.

“I
know,” Colleen smiled and turned to Scott.

April
quickly made the introductions and was relieved when Scott and her mom seemed
to hit it off at once. After a brief chat, her mom said, “Ben is already in bed,
but I think he’s still awake if you want to see him. The men should be finished
with the chores soon and we can have dinner.”

Ben’s
room was the first one down the hallway. His cerebral palsy made his limbs
rigid and they were skewed at odd angles across the mattress. He lay quietly, watching
the patterns of color the disco ball lamp made on the ceiling and walls. The dreamy
expression on his pale face made him look much younger than eighteen.

“Hey,
Benny!”

At
April’s voice, he turned and his face broke into a smile. She went to the side
of the bed and leaned over the padded rail to kiss his cheek. “How are you,
buddy? I’ve missed you.”

Ben’s
smile got bigger and he gave a happy little moan.

Scott
came to her side and April put a hand on his arm. “This is Scott,” she said to
Ben. “Do you remember seeing his picture? He’s going to be your
brother-in-law.” She began to gently straighten the sheets and blankets that
had become tangled around Ben’s frail legs.

“Hi
Ben,” Scott smiled.

Ben’s
arms jerked in excitement.

“Don’t
get too worked up or Mom will kick us out,” April cautioned.

They
stayed a few minutes longer, but it was obvious Ben needed sleep. April ran her
fingers through his hair. He’d been the only one to inherit their father’s straight
brown hair; the rest of her siblings had their mother’s blonde curls. “We’ll
see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Wow.
That’s a big job. How do your parents manage?” Scott whispered once they were in
the hallway.

April
shook her head. “It’s hard, especially now he’s so big and heavy. But, they
have outside help and …” her throat felt tight and she trailed off. “I guess
they manage because they have no choice. What else are they supposed to do?”

“Has
he ever been able to talk?”

“He
talks in his own way,” she said. Ben had never spoken a word, but somehow she
had always known what he was saying.

“What’s
with the van? Trevor said you got it a few months ago?” April asked when they
got back to the kitchen.

“Cool,
huh?” Eleven-year-old Emily was setting the table. April grabbed a handful of
silverware from the drawer and followed behind her sister, setting a spoon at
each place.

Their
mother looked up from the cutting board where she was slicing bread. “Oh,
that’s right, I didn’t tell you. There’s even a lift for the wheelchair.”

April
glanced around the kitchen. The costs of the farm and of Ben’s illness meant
her parents had always struggled for money. They weren’t poverty stricken, but
there was never any extra either. She didn’t begrudge anything that made Ben’s
life easier, but they had priced vans with wheelchair lifts before and they
were ridiculously expensive. Where had her parents found that kind of money?

“Must
have been pretty pricey,” she finally said.

“Yes.
But we have been very blessed; it was a gift.”

“From
whom
?”

Her
mother glanced uneasily at Scott. “They want to remain anonymous,” she said.

“So
you don’t know who it was?” April pressed, catching the hint her mother did not
want to have this conversation around Scott, but choosing to ignore it.

“Your
father and I know, but they didn’t want us to tell anyone else.”

April
sorted quickly through her memory for anyone with significant money and came up
blank. “Tell me,” she urged.

“Absolutely
not,” her mother said, her tone clearly stated the conversation was over. “I
hope we’re not making you wait too long for dinner.” She turned to Scott, who
had taken a seat on a barstool. “Glenn should be in soon.

“We
eat late around here,” April explained. “The cows always come first.”

“Don’t
worry about me.” Scott gave them a good natured smile and reached for a carrot
stick from the relish tray.

April’s
father appeared a few minutes later. He was a tall man with brown hair going
gray at the temples and leathery skin that bore testimony to long days working
in the sun. A few minutes later, Trevor came stomping in from the mudroom, his
cheeks pink and radiating cold.

After
introductions all around, they gathered at the table. Emily blessed the food
and April’s mom ladled out generous portions of beef stew.

“I
miss your bread, Mom,” April spread butter on a thick slice of homemade wheat
bread.

“It’s
easy to make,” her mom hinted. “I could give you the recipe.”

“I’ve
tried,” April said, “mine never turns out as good as yours.”

“That’s
because it always tastes better when someone else has done the work,” her dad
teased.

“What
time is your flight in the morning?” April changed the subject.

“Seven,”
her dad said. “So we’ll need to leave here by about four.”

“Yikes.
Are you ready?”

“Not
quite,” her mother shook her head. “I’m packing shorts and sundresses while I’m
staring at three feet of snow out the window. I can’t quite wrap my head around
it.”

“I’m
glad you’re going. You guys never get away,” April replied.

“Yeah,
you need a vacation,” Emily put in. “But you have to promise to bring me something
from Disneyland.”

“It’s
an
anniversary
trip, goofball. They’re not going to Disneyland,” Trevor
told her.

“I
don’t know. We get home only two days before Christmas and there’s still a lot to
do,” their mother fretted.

“That’s
what you get for marrying in the middle of December, an inconvenient anniversary,”
April said with a laugh. “Stop worrying, Mom. It’ll be fine.”

“Well,
you won’t have to worry about the chores,” her dad said. “Trevor is in charge
of the goats and Wade will take care of everything else.”

April
froze. “Wait … you asked
Wade
?”

She
was sure everyone could hear her heart hammering in the sudden silence. Trevor
and Emily looked nervously around the table at the adults.

“Well
… yes,” April’s dad said after a pause. “I didn’t think it would be a problem.”

April
squeezed her suddenly shaking hands together under the table. “No, it’s not a
problem,” she insisted. “It’s totally fine.”

“Is
there something I should know about?” Scott asked with raised eyebrows.

“You
haven’t told him about Wade?” Trevor burst out incredulously before April could
answer.

She
threw him a quick glare before turning to Scott. “There’s nothing to tell. We
dated a bit in high school, that’s all.”

Emily
snorted. “Yeah …
a bit
.”

“Stop
it, all of you!” April said hotly. She stared at her bowl, her appetite gone.
There were dozens of farmers in Snow Valley who could have covered for her dad,
why
had he asked Wade?

Her
mother cleared her throat. “Who needs more stew? Scott?”

After
dinner April helped clean up while Scott unloaded the car. He made several
trips to bring in their bags and the presents, which Emily helped him arrange under
the Christmas tree in the living room.

“All
set?” April looked up as he came into the kitchen. She was at the sink washing
the bread pans.

Scott
moved behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Your mom put me in
your old room,” he said, nuzzling her neck. “Does that mean I kicked you out?”