Fully Automatic (Bullet) (38 page)

Chapter Forty-five

HE COULDN’T BRING
himself to hold a coherent conversation on the way to Walmart.  In fact, he had to put all his free thought into remembering exactly where they’d seen it.  It wasn’t too far, but all he could think about was burying himself inside Val.

She was quiet too.  She must have known.  She confirmed when she thought they were going the right way, but she didn’t say anything else. All she did was
find a radio station playing Of Mice and Men and turn the music up a little.

He
’d managed to will his cock down but his balls fucking ached.  He needed some relief.  He knew it was coming, and he wasn’t going to complain, but it was starting to get to him.

They went into the
building and found what they needed. Val was like a kid in a candy store. She thought it was a fucking riot that it was obvious what they planned to do based on their purchase.  He loved that.  She was having so much fun, he couldn’t help but smile.  And she was beautiful.  Her hair was a little wild, but she was sexy and gorgeous.  God, he loved her.

When they walked outside and started heading toward the van, she let out a long, loud laugh.  He grinned at her and then unlocked the van.  He walked over to the other side to open the door for her, but she laid her hand on his.  She had a devilish smile on her face. 
“Let’s get in the back.”

At just the thought, his cock started to swell again.  They weren’t parked by any of the bright overhead lights, so it wouldn’t be like they were obvious. 
“Seriously?”

She nodded.  She was turning out to be his dream girl, just like he’d always known.  He slid the door open and waited for her to get in.  Then he joined her and closed the door.  She said,
“This feels kinda familiar, doesn’t it?”

He smiled.
  He’d never forgotten the steamy encounter they’d had in the backseat of this very van over two years ago.  He never would.  “It does.”  He sat down next to her, and she straddled him.  “You’re not wasting any time.”

She whispered in his ear,
“Nope.  Time to take care of
you
.”  He felt the air escape his lungs as his cock strained against his jeans once again.  She kissed him—slow and sweet—and then she nibbled on his lower lip.  Fuck.  It was finally gonna happen.  About damn time.  He touched her lip with his tongue and then moved inside her mouth, taking over, wanting to possess her.  And as he allowed himself to fully engage with the idea that he was going to at last be able to feel himself inside her, he felt emotion wash over him.  It was deep and raw.  He’d felt it for her for so long, but now it released itself and came full force.  Yes, he loved this woman, loved her with everything in him, and now he knew he could never not love her.  She was everything, and this act made him feel like they were soul mates, like they should have always been together, like they should always be.  There was no escaping that fact in his mind.  His heart would always, always belong to her, no matter what happened.  And now he was happy to give it to her.

He couldn’t taste her enough.  His kisses were deep but slow and soft as he explored all that lay between them. 
He felt her hands moving up underneath his shirt, up his abs to his pecs.  She moved her lips to his ear and asked, “You ready?”

Hell, yes, he was ready.  He had been eons ago, but he wasn’t going to say it.  Instead, he said, “
Whenever you are.”  She sucked on his earlobe and then kissed on his neck while she played with the buttons on his jeans.  Just feeling her fingers outside his jeans pressing against his cock upped the ante even more.

He was wearing button fly jeans, and she unfastened the first button, then the second, and said,
“Oh, what have we here?  I think there’s something down there that desperately wants out.”  He loved the sense of fun she was bringing to round two of their lovemaking.  It was going to be even better because of it.  “Maybe I can help.”  He sighed as she opened another button, and she sucked on his lower lip.  “I think I need to let him out.”  Oh, fuck, yes, please.  She kissed him hard then and slid her hand inside his underwear.  She wrapped her hand around his cock and
oh, fuck.
  He thought he was going to lose it right then and there.

He couldn’t concentrate anymore.  All his focus flew to her hand and what it was doing to him.  He’d been in an aroused state for far too long, and nothing—aside from orgasm or a war breaking out around them—would get his mind back on anything else.  Val kissed him
, but it was even difficult to concentrate enough to kiss her back.  Then she said, “Shit.”

“What?”

She was unbuttoning her jeans and got off him.  “I’m gonna have to take these all the way off.”

“I’m not complaining.”

She smiled.  “I didn’t figure you would.”  As she messed around with her jeans, he grabbed the Walmart bag and fished out the box of condoms.  It was time, and he opened the box and took one out.  He unwrapped the package and started rolling it over his cock.

She
straddled him again.  “Scooch forward a little.”  He was her willing slave at that point and did as she asked.  She tilted and slid his cock inside her.  He closed his eyes, letting himself become absorbed in the moment.  Shit.  She felt like heaven.  “Ah…”  She must have felt the same way.  It felt so damn right when she shoved her fingers into his hair and pressed her lips into his.  Yes.  This was what they should have done years ago back here, but he wondered if it tasted sweeter because he’d had to wait so long.

He could barely focus.  It was all he could do to grind—as slowly as possible—and not lose his load.  Not yet.  He had to maintain…just a little longer.

He grabbed the bottom of her t-shirt and asked, “Mind if I pull this off?”  He wanted to feel all of her against him—no cotton between them.  And it was sweltering in that van.  If she was going to sweat, he wanted to feel it on him.  Her skin on his, all of her body on him.  Without a word, she lifted her arms, and he pulled the shirt over her head.  Holy shit.  She hadn’t put her bra back on.  Her tits were right there in his face and his concentration flew away again.  He left the shirt hanging on her wrists, taking a breast in his hand and sucking her nipple into his mouth.

She was so fucking hot, and she was grinding into him.  He didn’t know how much longer he could hold out, but he was going to do his best.  She took her hand out of his hair and slid it between their bodies.  She
started fingering herself.  Holy fucking shit, that was hot, and she gasped as her eyes closed, and she rotated her hips into him again.

He couldn’t take his eyes off her.  “Let me help.
” He stuck his thumb in her mouth.  She started sucking on it, and he was sure then that he was going to blow.  He couldn’t leave it there or he would.  He pulled it out and replaced his hand with hers.  He searched for her clit with his thumb and her breathing grew erratic.  That was the sign he’d been looking for.  Now she was close too.

That was the moment he’d been waiting for.  He kept up the pressure and the motion with his thumb.  She sucked a big gulp of air in her mouth. 
“Oh…”  She was still riding him, but he could tell her concentration was now shit too—she had one goal in mind now and that was hitting the mark.  She gasped a couple of times and then he felt her thighs quiver against his hips.  “Oh, God, Brad…”  His hand rested on the small of her back to steady her, and he refused to let up on her with his thumb until he was sure she was done.  But then, hearing her cries again, he couldn’t hold it back anymore.  He let it all go and it was fucking magic.  A burst of pleasure unlike any he had ever known, and it filled him with light and bliss…and more love than he’d ever known before.

It took a minute or two for him to get his bearings, but he was holding her close to him.  She could never be close enough for him to feel like she was.  His breathing slowed and then he realized that it was fucking insanely hot in that goddamn van.  They were both sweaty.  It didn’t bother him much, but he was sure she didn’t care much for it.  He mourned the fact that he was going to have to let her go.  He prepared himself for it, and, moments later, she got up off him and got dressed.

He took that as his cue to put his clothes back on too.

They were quiet on the drive back.  He was suddenly exhausted, but his emotions were battling with
him now.  All the love, all the emotion he’d felt before was now replaced with doubt and insecurity.  He knew Val as well as he knew himself, and as much as he’d wanted to believe she now thought he was the guy for her, he wasn’t too sure about it.  Val had run back to Ethan more times than he could count, had spurned Brad more than once as well, and he was afraid he had more invested here than she did.  He knew he cared about her a hell of a lot more than she did him.  And it left him feeling empty when he should have felt like he was on top of the world.

He decided then and there that he would just enjoy the moment.  He couldn’t control what she would say or do tomorrow, so he had to appreciate what they had tonight.  It killed him to think that way, but he knew it was what he had to do.

Still…inside of him, a war had been waged and he was a fucking hot mess.

When they got to the hotel and got out of the van, he kissed her as soon as he’d helped her out.  If his kisses could erase the memories she had of old lovers, he was going to do it. 
Or if this was the only night they would ever have together, he wasn’t going to let it end already.  So when they were in the elevator, he pressed her up against the wall and kissed her until he heard the bell ring and the door opened.  He kissed her right outside too, and then he held her around the waist before they started walking down the hall.  She asked, “You’re coming to my room, aren’t you?”

He realized that he’d expected her to tell him
good night
and send him on his merry way until she’d asked.  Her question was a bit of a reassurance, but the doubt still nagged at him.  “Sure.”  They walked past the suites occupied by all the other band members and noise was drifting out of the doors of the one in the middle.  Brad hoped they wouldn’t get in trouble, because it was late, but he wasn’t going to worry about it.  He had his own concerns right now, and the partying wasn’t one of them.  He knew Val was thinking the same thing he was, hoping that no one would come out of the room as they walked past.  It would have made their time together awkward and uncomfortable.

They got to her room and she opened the door.  As soon as they got inside, Val started giggling.  She was looking at the Walmart bag that contained the box of condoms.  He smiled in spite of the storm of emotions brewing in his chest. 
“What?  I couldn’t leave that in the van for the guys to see.”

She placed the card key on the dresser. 
“It’s not like they’ve never seen a condom before.”

“Yeah, but you know they’d ask where it came from.  Would
you
be able to keep a straight face?”

She shrugged and changed the subject
.  “I want to shower.  I feel all sticky and gross.”  Yeah, he did too.

“Can I join you?  No hanky panky if you don’t wanna.  I just feel pretty sweaty myself.”

She nodded and walked toward the bathroom.  He took a deep breath and clenched his jaw. Jesus fucking Christ.  He’d never felt as insecure in his life as he did right at that moment.  He knew—just fucking
knew
—this was a dream.  It couldn’t be real.  He swallowed hard. 
Get a grip, Payne.
  Enough.  He had to stop trying to jinx the night.  He took a deep breath and pulled his shoes off, then started walking toward the bathroom.  She already had the water running by the time he got there.  She was pulling her clothes off and so he pulled his t-shirt over his head and threw it on the floor.

She grinned, fully naked again, and said,
“Meet ya in there!”  She hopped in the tub and pulled the curtain closed.

He pulled his jeans off and took another deep breath.  Fuck.  Why the hell was he letting this whole thing get him down?  He should be happy right now.  He’d dreamed of this for how long?  Why couldn’t he just let it go and enjoy the moment?

He pulled the curtain back and stepped in.  Val was rinsing soap off her breasts.  Things didn’t feel right and he didn’t know why.  He thought she could sense his mood, because she grabbed his hand and slapped the tiny motel bar of soap into his palm.  She said, “Turn around.”

“What for?”

“I’ll wash your back.”  He turned around, giving the soap back to her.  He closed his eyes as a few trickles of warm water splashed onto him, but he felt her sliding her hand over his back, gliding because of the soap on it.  He loved the feel of her hand on him, and he wanted to imagine years of that, but something in the back of his mind tickled at him, told him he shouldn’t get his hopes up.

She announced,
“All done,” and he turned around, trying to force a smile on his face.  She could sense that all was not right with him, though.  “You okay?”

He was a fucking idiot if he thought he could hide from Valerie.  Still, he wasn’t going to tell her what he was thinking, so he nodded
.  “Yeah.”

“You’re probably as tired as I am.” 
She held the soap out for him and said, “Trade places?  I’m gonna get out.”