Get It Done When You're Depressed (29 page)

Do any of these signs you need to do one project at a time ring true for you?

Think of one step as a whole project. This can help your feeling of accomplishment when the step actually gets done!

I write technical manuals for a large computer company. I definitely have trouble multitasking when I’m not in top form. On most days, my co-workers throw project after project on my desk—of course, it’s all “urgent”! I used to try to do it all at once, often staying until late at night. I had trouble deciding what really needed to get done and was very distracted when I did start because I was sure I picked the wrong project.

I now have a new plan. I keep a sign-up list on my desk. When someone has a project, he or she adds their name and the project’s needs on the list. They can see who is in front of them. I make it clear that I finish the first project on the list and then move on. I remind them that this makes me far, far more productive. I work fewer hours, and I know the great feeling of handing over something complete in a timely way.

I can still remember the lists I used to make before I realized that my problem was depression. I never had enough hours to do what I wanted to do in a day. Because of this, I got
nothing
finished. I had a trail of unfinished book ideas, incomplete sewing projects, filed attempts to organize my kitchen, unplanted flower bulbs, blah, blah, blah.

When I look back, I think there was never even a reason to make the lists except to make myself think I could be productive. Then my therapist said, “Julie, you get to have one big to-do thing on your list done each day. And it has to get done before you’re allowed to move on.” I’ve never forgotten what she said. I still struggle with this constantly, considering that depression is not an illness that encourages completion of anything, but I will never stop trying.

Higher mental functions that are dependent on the frontal lobes are required for planning, monitoring ongoing behavior, and staying organized. Very low levels of metabolic activity in these parts of the brain may account for why you jump around to projects instead of getting one done. There’s also the physically uncomfortable feeling that comes with being agitated, which makes it difficult for you to stay in one place. Finally, the lack of enthusiasm so characteristic of depression makes the current work seem pointless, so you often move on to feel better. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work.

Some of the work you have to do definitely requires that you work on many projects at the same time. However, it’s rarely the case that you have to do a little bit on each one, in order, to get finished. Most projects lend themselves to completing
one
thing fully and then moving on.

Here are some other thoughts to consider:

Remember:
Focus on one project until it’s done. Then, when you see you
can
finish something, you’re more likely to get the next project done with ease.

Research shows that well over 50 percent of people with depression experience anxiety. Anxiety
really
gets in the way of productivity, especially if you get anxious from deadlines or working with other people. On top of your depression, which is bad enough, the anxiety can feel unbelievably overwhelming. When you add worry, a racing heart, and a true fear that something is going to go wrong, getting things done may feel impossible.

Anxiety often comes in waves, and sometimes you can feel it well up as soon as you have a new task to complete. Anxiety can make your body uncomfortable, affect your breathing, and make your heart beat so fast you’re sure there’s something physically wrong with you. It’s definitely hard to keep going on a project when you feel physically ill, but it’s important to recognize anxiety for what it is—a physical reaction to a specific problem
you can control
.

The more adept you become at using the strategies in this book to get things done, the greater your chances your anxiety will be reduced significantly. Seeing what you
can
do versus what you anxiously fear you’ll never be able to do helps you relax and get more things done with ease.

Are any of these signs you have trouble with anxiety familiar?

What does your anxiety feel like? It may be that you were not even aware you had the problem. Now that you know, changes can be made to help the symptoms.

I’ve had panic attack feelings at big sports events, at crowded movies, at parties, when driving to a place I don’t know, and under work deadlines. It’s especially bad if I have an obligation I know I have to meet or else. I have trouble breathing, and once thought I was having a heart attack.

I never associated this with depression. I see my depression as a lethargic feeling, like I have trouble getting out of bed. When I thought about it, I realized that I often feel like something is wrong when I’m down. I feel a buzzing feeling and a lot of worry that it’s affecting my work. Work just isn’t very rewarding when I feel lousy and then feel anxious on top of that.

My first sign that I’m anxious is my breathing. I’ve started doing yoga on my lunch break. Just to get all that air in and out really helps. It helps with the depression, too. I’m more productive in the afternoon when I breathe a lot more.

I have a
lot
of anxiety. In fact, all the symptoms listed in the following “Exercise” section are my own. I feel anxiety in response to stressful projects, such as when I have a book due. But I also get it in really dumb situations such as when a friend calls and asks me to go to lunch when I have a deadline. I’ve gotten anxious because I have to find a parking place. I constantly worry that I’ll be late and I’ll miss something. I clench my jaw and tend to get very, very impatient with the people in my life. If they ask me something when I’m depressed, I snap at them. They don’t deserve this at all. I was like this for years and didn’t know why.

The anxiety is often in response to something outside myself, but I never know what’s going to trigger it. On some days, I can write without worry; on others, I’m so anxious I can hardly sit and I feel that nothing’s going right. It’s very uncomfortable. My last book caused me a lot of terrible anxiety, and I ended up stopping the project to protect my health. I want to get things done, but not when they’re so stressful I can’t do them!