Gina and Mike (21 page)

“True. But most of them were. Want something to drink?”

Gina shook her head no.

I pointed to the plaid couch. “For old time’s sake?”

We sat down on the couch, me at the far end and Gina right next to me. We turned toward one another.

“So are you just back to take care of house stuff?” I asked.

“Sort of.”

Gina bit her bottom lip. “Remember I told you that there would be no more secrets between us.”

I nodded and took a deep breath. I could tell by the way Gina was wringing her hands that she had something pretty important to say.    

Gina looked down toward her lap. “I. I. She sighed. “This is going to be harder than I thought.”

I lifted Gina’s chin and brushed the hair back off her face. “Gina, it’s OK. Whatever you have to tell me, it’s OK. I’ll understand.”

Tears gathered in Gina’s eyes and her smile tiptoed back onto her face. “Well, I’m pregnant.”

I’m not sure what I was expecting, but I wasn’t expecting that. I knew that Gina had wanted a baby and had seen a fertility specialist. But I guess I thought that with everything that happened, she might wait awhile. I know she had planned on having her mom’s help. Now she would be all on her own. Still, if that’s what she wanted, I was happy for her. 

I ran my fingers through my hair. “So the fertility thing worked, huh? I think it’s great that you’re pregnant. I know how much you wanted a child.”

Gina bit her bottom lip. “Uh, I didn’t get pregnant that way.”

My heart felt like it was being squeezed. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. All I could think about since Gina left was being with her. I couldn’t imagine not making love to her again. It was incredible sex. The way our bodies fit – perfectly. She was everything I ever wanted and just when I thought we might have a chance, she tells me there’s another guy. “Oh, I see. Do you love him?”

“Very much,” she said. “I’ve always loved him.”

I thought I was going to die. It was happening again. My heart was being broken on this damn plaid couch – again. Why the fuck did I buy the old ratty thing anyway?

“I don’t know what to say, Gina. I’m not going to lie. You’re all I thought about since you left. I was hoping that if I gave you time and didn’t pressure you that you’d figure things out. Maybe even come back. And then, when I saw you sitting on the porch steps, and the necklace, I thought maybe you had.”

“I did.”

“Did what?” I asked.

“Come back.”

“Jesus Christ,” I said. “The guy lives in the area?”

Gina nodded.

I got up from the couch. “God damn, Gina. I can’t believe this is happening again. My lousy luck.”

“Mike, I’ve only been with one guy in the last two years.”

“One? But what about?”

Gina smiled.

“Oh my God, Gina,” I said, taking her in my arms. “Oh my God, baby. I can’t believe it. Why didn’t you just come out and tell me?”

“I was trying to. I thought when I told you that I always loved the guy that you’d get it.”

I kissed Gina long and hard and when we were done we left a trail of clothes to my bedroom.

****

Gina

Lying in Mike’s arms felt so right. Like it was where I belonged. I knew we had a lot to figure out, but I also knew that I had found my way home. That was a happy ending to our book.

I drew circles on his chest with the tips of my fingers. Mike kissed the top of my head.

“So did you sell your mom’s house?” Mike asked.

“I had a couple who were interested in it and they gave me an offer. But I ended up taking it off the market.”

Mike sat up and looked down at me. “Why?”

I smiled. “I figured the house is twice the size of yours and if we’re going to make a go of it, we’d need a bigger house – enough bedrooms for us and Jack and the baby.”

Mike leaned down and kissed me again and his lips trailed down my neck and chest and before I knew it we were making love once again.

Mike and I bounced down the stairs like a couple of kids. I was starving and we decided to go out for Chinese.

“There’s something I want to show you before we grab a bite to eat.” Mike said.

He pulled me by my hand to the brown, plaid couch.

“The reason I wanted this sofa is because of what it contains.”

I scratched my head. “The stuffing?”

Mike laughed. “Twenty years ago, on the night you broke up with me, I was going to give you something. I wanted to surprise you. I unzipped the cushion and stuck it in there for safe keeping.”

“Which cushion?”

“The right one. It’s still there. I checked.”

I walked over to the cushion and unzipped the back of it. There was a blue, plastic ring and two slips of paper inside a sandwich baggie. I opened the bag and took out the first note.

Gina, I love you more than anything. This ring is my promise that you’re the only girl I will ever love. I want to grow old with you and have kids with you. I hope you accept this ring as a token of my love. When I can afford it, I’ll get you a big diamond. Love, Mike

The tears came hard and heavy, “Oh Mike. This has been in that cushion all this time?”

Mike nodded. “When I saw your mom still had the couch, I checked to see if it was there when you were out of the room. I felt the plastic bag right away.”

Gina picked up the other slip of paper. “You wrote two notes?”

Mike scratched his head. “No, just one.”

I opened the other note. I recognized the floral stationery immediately. I had bought it for Mom one Christmas. “It’s from Mom.”

Mike’s jaw dropped. I read the note.

Gina, if you find this note, it’s because you were meant to. Always follow your heart, and you will never go wrong. Love you bunches and bunches, Mom 

“She must have found the bag and added the note,” Mike said.

“And she never said anything,” I added. “So like her.”

I took the ring out of the bag and Mike slipped it on my finger.

“Came out of the bubblegum machine in front of the grocery store,” Mike said. “It cost a quarter, but it was worth a lot more.”

Mike got down on one knee, “Gina, I want you in my life. I’ve never stopped loving you. I want to marry you, raise our child together, if you’ll have me. Gina, will you marry me?”

My mouth quivered and I could taste the runaway tears. Everything I had ever wanted was coming true and for the first time in a long time, I felt like I had found my way home. Like Mom said, I listened to my heart and it was telling me to stay. 

“I thought you’d never ask,” I said. I leaned in to kiss him and the minute our lips touched I giggled.

Mike pulled back to look me in the eyes. “What are you laughing about?”

“Just remembering what I wrote in your yearbook. Do you remember?”

Mike cleared his throat. “Remember, you said you’d love me even when I’m old and wrinkled and have white hair and false teeth.”

A firework smile burst onto my face. “And do you still feel that way?”

“I’ll show you,” said Mike, wrapping his arms around me and chasing me with urgent kisses. “Oh, Gina, baby. You drive me crazy.”

He pulled away and I pulled him back.

“But what about the Chinese food?” he asked.

My lips trailed down his chest.  “The moo moo gai pan can wait.”

Gina’s Classmates

Julie (Yearbook post)

Gina,

To a cool girl who always seems to be there just in case someone needs her. You are a very super person. You have never made me feel dumb and you never seem to mind that I’m not exactly a “scholar” – you talk and laugh and are friends with me anyway. We’ll have to do something together sometime. I wish you much happiness and lots of luck in whatever you do. You have a lot going for you – you are just a swell person!!! I hope we never lose touch! Have a nice summer!!

Always, Julie

..........................

The thing I remember about Julie is her skin. She had the most beautiful skin, especially to a teenager who battled acne with a cabinet full of crap that left my skin dry and red and flaky – not smooth like hers. She had an easy smile, like a morning glory’s petals unfurling when they are kissed by a new day.

We first met in junior high social studies class. Even then she was a beauty. And it’s her beauty that attracted the guys, although they never seemed to hang around for long.

One time in high school, I found her crying in the bathroom. Her mascara ran down her pink cheeks and her hair was a tangled mess of black.

“Julie, what’s wrong?” I asked.

“Everything,” she said. “My life sucks. I’m tired of being used.”

I put my arm around her and she fell into my shoulder. “Then stop.”

She pulled back and looked at me with swollen raccoon eyes. “You just don’t get it. I’m not like you. Smart and all.”

“Don’t say that,” I said. “You just have to work a little harder. And I can help.”

The next day, I saw her with a new guy. She never called me for homework help, and we never did anything together outside of school. She ran with a different crowd that I never wanted to be a part of. The last time I saw her was at graduation. She had gone through probably a dozen guys our senior year.

I was in college when Mom called to tell me Julie was found dead in her bedroom. According to one of Mom’s golf buddies who knew the family, it was an overdose. There was no note, nothing.

Sometimes, I look back on that bathroom conversation and I wish I would have done more. Truth is it probably wouldn’t have made a difference. Julie was lost long before I found her.  I never understood how so much beauty could be so ugly, how a life ends before it ever really begins.

James Robert (Yearbook post)

Gina,

Oh well, here I go again trying to think of what to write in someone’s yearbook. It just so happens that yours is the hardest. You’ve affected my life so many times and in so many ways that I don’t know what to say. You made me realize things about other people and about myself. I’ve done super stupid things that I wish I could do over, but once you do them it’s too bad. Knowing what you would do in the situation really helps me a lot because believe it or not, I know you better than I know myself. I just don’t have any confidence (sometimes) and I always expect the worst (but that’s good in some cases, because I’m ready for the worst when it does happen). As I was saying you know what you want and you stick to it, because you have a great head on your shoulders (wise and sharp looking).

The time I’ve spent with you over the past year has really been great. I know I’m probably a pain in your ass, but I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately and aside from one incident, I’ve changed a lot. I hope you don’t change because you don’t have to (you shouldn’t).  I’m starting to run out of space and I have a hundred other things to write, so I’ll sum it up and say: “You’re one hell of a friend and I hope you keep in touch with me even when you’re in your 60’s.” You’re closer to me than any one of my other friends so keep out of trouble and don’t get that pretty little head of yours into a bum situation.

Love always,

J.R.

..........................

Every time I’m home visiting my mom, I drive by the house where J.R. grew up. I loved J.R. like a brother and felt badly that I wasn’t able to love him in the way he loved me. I tried to, but it just didn’t work. Maybe I was afraid of ruining what we had. I was closer to him than I was to many of my girlfriends, and there were things that we talked about that I could never have talked about with them.

I remember our last long talk. It was the week before we both started our freshman year in college. We jumped on his cycle and went to his favorite talking spot, miles outside of town. We lay side by side on the spongy hillside, staring up at the black sky.  J.R. loved coming to this spot, especially on a clear night because the stars were so bright. He always pointed out the constellations and then shared the stories behind them. It was J.R. who explained to me that the Big Dipper and Little Dipper weren’t constellations but asterisms. I was always amazed at how much he knew about totally random stuff.

That was the night that he told me that he was glad he was going away to college. That he needed to get away from me. That he just couldn’t take loving me as much as he did and seeing me with another guy. He didn’t blame me. He said it wasn’t my fault that he fell in love with someone who didn't return his feelings. But that he needed a chance to see if he could love someone as much as he loved me.

I know I shouldn’t have, but I kissed him that night. The way a girlfriend kisses a boyfriend. I needed to see how it felt, to see if maybe I was wrong. So I leaned over him and bent down to find his lips and he rolled on top of me and kissed me with so much passion I could hardly breathe. But then he stopped. Suddenly. And sat up.

“I don’t want you like this,” he said. “Don’t give me what you think I want. But if you ever want me, really, really want me, you know where I’ll be.”

When he dropped me off that night, we hugged.

“Sorry if I screwed things up,” I said.

“You didn’t screw things up. It’s just that I can’t handle feeling the way I do about you. I’ve tried so hard for the past year and I just think I need a break. It’s not you. It’s me. I need to get my head on straight. Quit wishing for something that’s never going to happen.”

It was the last time I saw J.R. It was like he went away to college and vanished. I tried finding him from time to time, but I didn’t have any luck. I always wondered if he had found someone who loved him as much as he loved me. I hoped that he found someone who loved him more.

Brad (Yearbook post)

Gina,

To one of the nicest looking girls I know. Keep up the good looks and if you’re ever free, let me know.