Gina and Mike (17 page)

Mike was kissing me in places that hadn’t been kissed in forever. I felt his hardness on my inner thigh and begged him to enter me.

“You’re torturing me,” I said. “I can’t take it. Please.”

“Oh, sweet baby,” he moaned and he found his way inside me. I had forgotten how good he felt. He toyed with me, pulling back. I couldn’t take it anymore. I grabbed a hold of his back and force him in as deep as I could. Our bodies fell into sync and just when I thought I couldn’t take it anymore, we came together. It was the most incredible feeling in the whole world. I never had sex this good – ever. It was as if our bodies were meant for each other. A perfect fit. I fell asleep, wrapped in his arms.

****

Mike

I kissed the top of Gina’s head, cradled in the crook of my arm. Holy Christ. I can’t believe what just happened. This woman, this crazy woman that I never stopped loving wanted me. I came so hard and it felt so good. But then I started feeling guilty. I wondered if I had taken advantage of Gina’s fragile emotional state. What if she woke up and was pissed and blamed me for us ending up in bed together? But she was the one who forced it when I tried to stop. And her response to me was so strong that it almost bowled me over. Her body beckoned mine.

I brushed her long red hair with my fingers. At that moment, everything seemed perfect. But I knew the moment wouldn’t last. Gina would wake up. She had her mom’s funeral to get through. She would be selling this house and moving back to Florida. And I probably wouldn’t see her again until the next class reunion.

I laid there for a long time listening to her breathing. When I woke up, I heard birds chirping outside her bedroom window. I rolled over and saw that Gina was gone.

“Christ,” I jumped out of bed.  I didn’t realize that it was already 6 o’clock. I had to get home, shower and pick Jack up for school before 8. I pulled on my jeans and ran down the stairs pulling my shirt over my head.

Gina was sitting at the kitchen table reading the paper and drinking coffee. Her hair was messy and she was wearing an oversized T-shirt than hung from her shoulders.

“You finally got up,” she said.

I walked over and pulled out a chair. “Are you OK?”

Gina smiled. “Yeah, I’m great.”

“You’re not mad that we, that we, you know…”

Gina smiled. “No. I’m not mad. I’m sorry that I came on so strong last night.”

“You were fine. I like strong.”

“Well, I’m usually not that pushy.”

“Look,” I said. “There’s no need to explain. I hate to run but I have to go. I need to shower and get ready for work and pick Jack up at 8.”

Gina smiled. “No problem.”

“Can I see you later?”

“I’m having dinner with Judy.”

“How about the next night?”

“The next night is the funeral.”

“Oh, yeah. Right.”

“But I’ll definitely see you before I go back home.”

“OK, great,” I said. “About last night, though. I hadn’t felt that way in a very long time. You’re more beautiful than you’ve ever been. I just wanted you to know that.”

Gina smiled and walked me to the door. “Thanks for being here last night. It meant the world to me.”

“I’ve always been here for you, Gina,” I said. “You just didn’t see me.”

****

Gina

Watching Mike drive away left me feeling lonelier than I’ve felt in a long time. I’m still not sure what came over me last night. It was like my body and my heart were in control and there was no fighting their urges. Feeling Mike deep inside of me, being connected to him so perfectly, took my breath away.

I had been running scenarios over in my mind all morning. Playing the what-if game. What if I moved home? What if I didn’t sell Mom’s house? What if Mike and I started dating? Oh, that was silly. We screwed. It was just one night. He needed someone and I needed someone and it was all in the timing. It probably didn’t mean much to him. I tried lying to myself and telling myself that it was nothing more than a hook-up. But I knew better. I wanted to make love to Mike the moment I saw him at the reunion. And I knew that I would want to make love to him again. But I couldn’t let that happen. I was going home. I had cases to prosecute, a life to live. And Mike’s life was here, with his son.

I knew that I would have to tell him about the rape before I went home. I wondered how he would take it. Would he be mad? Think that I should have told him when it happened? Understand why I didn’t?  In my mind, I always rationalized that I didn’t lie to Mike I just kept some things from him. But I wondered if he would see it that way. What happened last night made me even more unsure. I don’t regret last night. It was the kind of lovemaking that you dream of, soft and tender yet urgent and full of passion.

I filled my mug again with hot water and unwrapped another tea bag. I grabbed Mom’s purse off the kitchen counter. I swear the bag weighed fifty pounds. I dumped the contents onto the table.

Lipstick. Checkbook. Pens. Kleenex. Datebook. Wallet. Fingernail file. Sewing kit. Paperback book. New York City map. Photo book. Keys. Brown coat button. Grocery store receipt. Notepad. Tape measure. Band-aids. Chapstick. Sunscreen. Pack of crackers. Gum. Mints. Rolo. Paper clip. Pin.

I picked up the pin and smiled. I had made it for her when I was in elementary school. It was a sun brooch. I had cut a circle out of yellow felt. Using gold glitter glue, I drew a circle in the middle of the felt and rays. Then I finished it by adding a smiley face and a pin to the back. I had no idea Mom had kept this all of these years. It was a little faded. I remember when I gave it to her she said, “I will wear this pin over my heart because that’s where I will always carry you.”

I reached for the box of tissues. There were so many things I wanted to tell her, so many things I wanted to say, and now I’ll never get the chance. We never talked about her dying, other than her telling me about the envelope in her drawer that contained important information.

“Damn you, Mom. Damn you for leaving me.”

****

Mike

Driving home, I couldn’t get last night out of my mind. When I woke up and Gina wasn’t beside me, I thought,
Oh, Christ, is she pissed?
Because I was pumped. Last night was incredible and I was kind of hoping for a repeat in the morning. I couldn’t help wanting Gina again. God, this is what she did to me. This is what she always did to me. My groin ached just thinking about her.

When I got home, I jumped in the shower and turned the knob to cold. I grabbed a muffin and nuked a cup of day-old coffee I poured from the carafe. I thumbed through the paper, looking for the obituary. It was at the top of the page. I read through it quickly.
She is survived by a daughter, Gina McKenzie.
A lump formed in my throat. So many times I imagined her name as Gina Parker. I smiled to myself because knowing Gina, she would have wanted to keep her maiden name. That’s the way she was. Always wanted her own identity. I remember we got into a big debate one night when we were making out in the woods and talking about the future. Gina said that when we had kids, she wanted to hyphenate their names. I was against that. I told her it was fine to give our kids her maiden name as their middle name, but no hyphen. To be honest, I was kind of hurt by the whole thing. Nothing against having girls, but especially if we would have had a boy. I would want my son to have my last name. Period.

My cell phone rang. It was Jack, calling to remind me to bring his display board for his science project. I was glad he called to remind me because the only thing on my mind this morning was Gina.

Jack opened the car door and slid in. “Got the board?”

I nodded. “It’s in the trunk.”

“How was the party?”

“Fun. Food was great. Lots of people I didn’t know, though.”

“How’s your mom and the baby?”

“Mom’s fine. Paige is her usual annoying crybaby self. I’m never having kids. They cry all the time. You have to feed them and change their diapers. And there’s no way I’m wiping someone’s butt.”

I chuckled. “I wiped your butt. Plenty of times.”

“You were stupid,” Jack said. “I’m smarter than you.”

I smiled. “Guess that means I won’t have any grandkids.”

Jack nodded. “But you have me and you always say that I’m a lot to handle so grandkids would just be extra work. So I’m saving you extra work.”

“Oh, I see.” I loved Jack’s logic. To him, the world was black and white. And I knew it was so much more.

****

Gina

When I picked up the phone and it was Sue I blurted out what happened.

“Oh. My. God.” Sue said.

“Yeah, I know. But it just sort of happened.”

“Was it good?”

“It was great.”

“Now what?”

I knew what Sue was thinking. How was I going to handle things with Mike. “It was only one night. I’ll be going back home after the funeral. My life is there and his is here.”

“Did you tell him about Coach Smith?”

“Not yet. But I will. After the funeral.”

“He’s going to be pissed, you know,” Sue said.

“On a scale of one to ten, how pissed do you think he’ll be?”

“A twelve,” Sue said. “Wouldn’t you be?”

I took a deep breath. “I wouldn’t be pissed as much as I would be relieved that it wasn’t me who caused the breakup.”

“Oh, sweet Jesus, Gina. Think about it. You broke his heart. Who knows what would have happened if you would have told him the truth.”

“But I didn’t lie.”

“Excuse me? Telling the guy that you didn’t love him anymore wasn’t the truth.”

“That was only so he would accept the breakup.”

“Look. I gotta get to work. I’ll be over afterward to check on things. I’m sure the talk with Mike will go fine. Love ya.”

“Love you, too.”

When I hung up the phone I thought about what Sue said. Even if it meant upsetting Mike, I knew I had to tell him the truth. No more lies between us. That’s the way it had to be.

I called the office to check in and my secretary, Marcia, told me that she had rescheduled all of my appointments.”

“I canceled the one with the fertility specialist,” she said. “When do you want me to reschedule that?”

“Give me the number and I’ll call and reschedule. The timing’s important. I have to check my cycle and figure it out.”

“So you’re still going to go through with the pregnancy?” Marcia asked.

“Absolutely. I know I won’t have Mom to help, but I still want a child. I’ll just have to hire a full-time nanny.”

“I can help with the hiring,” Marcia said. “If you want, I’ll screen the candidates first.”

“That would be great, Marcia. Anything else?”

“You got a new case. High school math teacher having sex with one of her students. Apparently the kid bragged to some friends and the teacher’s been charged. The student’s 15. It was in the paper this morning. Made the front page.”

“Damn, when are these teachers going to learn,” I said.

After I hung up the phone, I called my fertility doctor and we figured out when I should come in for the insemination. My semen had arrived. 

****

Mike

It was hard to concentrate at work. I kept thinking about last night and if Gina was OK. She seemed OK this morning, but would that change as the day went on. For me, last night was incredible. Holding her in my arms again. Feeling her soft skin against mine. Touching every inch of her body. Her hair fanning across my chest. Damn, she always did have a way of turning my world upside down.

When my cell rang, I hoped it was Gina. When I saw it was my friend Hillary, I wasn’t sure that I wanted to answer. But it was the second time she had called that day. Hill and I were good friends who enjoyed each other’s company and occasionally had sex. The sex was always satisfying but that’s all it was, sex. We just didn’t feel the way about each other that makes sex so much more. There was no way I could think about Hillary now and I knew she probably was horny and wanted to get together. But if I didn’t answer, she’d keep calling.

“Hi, Hill. What’s up?”

“You free tonight?” she asked.

“No. An old friend’s in town and I made some plans with her.”

“OK. Call me the next time you’re free,” she said.

“Will, do.”

I seriously hoped that things wouldn’t settle down for a long time between me and Gina. I hadn’t wanted anyone as much as I wanted her last night. Christ, just thinking about her gave me a hard on. But I didn’t want to get my hopes up. After all, Gina’s life wasn’t here. She’d go back home and I’d stay here.

Damn, Gina and I never seemed to be going in the same direction at the same time. There was always a disconnect, and I doubted that would ever change. But being with her reminded me of how things could be, of what was missing from my life. If I couldn’t have it with Gina, maybe I could have it with someone else.

Having sex with Hill was fine, but I wanted more than fine. I wanted to feel as physically close to a woman as I felt to Gina. And I know Gina felt it, too. I could tell by the way her body responded to my touch, the way she raised her hips, begging me to take her away. Feeling her arms around my back pulling me toward her while stealing my breath with her hungry kisses, drove me crazy. I could still smell her lavender skin. God she was good. No great.

Growing old with someone I loved was becoming more important to me. Jack would grow up and hell, who knows where he’d end up. And then I’d be alone – again. Having someone to grow old with sure sounded good. Trouble was, when you’ve had the best, how do you settle for less? After last night, I wasn’t willing to.

Chapter 14