Glitch (21 page)

*

I could tell Max was straining to say something the whole ride to my housing unit. He tried to hug me right when we got to my room, but I held him back with one extended hand.

“Zoe, I feel…” He squeezed his eyes shut. “I don’t have the words for how I feel—wrong, bad, as if I shouldn’t have said what I did to you. I want to go backward and not say it, but I can’t.”

“Shh,” I said. “My brother is right next door.”

“He’s on the treadmill, he won’t hear.” He took the hand I’d been barring him with and cupped it in his. “This is all new for me, too. I need you.” His look was sad, sincere. “I want to be with you, even without the passions. You know that, don’t you?”

“Maybe,” I said, feeling all of the sudden like crying again. “I don’t know what you mean when you say you want to be with me. You
are
with me. I’m with you. You are the person who is”—I looked at the wall, casting around for the right word—“more
significant
to me than anyone. The words aren’t right, maybe. But I feel like family with you. It hurts so much sometimes that my real family doesn’t seem connected to me at all. It’s like we’re just bodies that happen to occupy the same housing unit, with nothing else connecting us.”

I took Max’s hands. “It’s just wrong. Family should mean some kind of bond. It should signify that even though no one else in the world cares about you, you’re special to someone. And that’s what I have with you. You’re my only true family.”

“Family, like a marital unit?” His hands tightened on mine, his face tense, but hopeful.

“I don’t know, Max.” I felt helpless. “I’m not even sure what you mean by that. I think you want it to mean something different. Isn’t feeling like family enough? Like siblings used to be, back in the Old World, what I wish I could have with my own brother.”

“Brother?” Max’s voice was hot with disgust. He dropped my hands. “I don’t want to be your brother!”

My face must have showed how his words hurt me.

He groaned and his shoulders sagged. “I’m doing it again. Saying bad things. It’s just that I want to be more than your brother.” He crossed the small space between us. He cupped my face gently and leaned in, putting his lips ever so softly against mine.

For the first time, I really let go and let him kiss me, trying to understand the tingling sensation that was slowly waking up inside me. I raised my hand, about to reach out to his face, when one of the ceiling tiles shifted and a tall form dropped down into the room.

Max recovered from the surprise quicker than I did and launched himself at the figure just as I said, “No, wait!”

Max tackled Adrien, easily taking the thin boy down. He put his knee in Adrien’s sternum to keep him down and punched him hard in the face. I jumped forward and grabbed Max’s arm just as he revved up for another swing.

“Stop, Max, it’s Adrien!” I shouted in a hoarse whisper. “He told me he had a way to get in unnoticed.”

Max’s face was taut with a look I didn’t recognize. It looked like anger but at the same time, it seemed like more. It scared me.

“Get off of him,” I hissed, yanking at his arm. Max finally moved off. Adrien lay still for another moment, hand to his nose, before finally sitting up. When he moved his hand, I saw there was blood.

I gasped. “I’ll go get some tissue. Stay out of sight,” I said to Adrien, suddenly worried that all the noise we’d made had been noticed by my brother. I opened the door and looked out cautiously. The rhythm of pounding feet on the treadmill didn’t change and I let out a sigh of relief. Good, Markan hadn’t heard.

I got some bathroom tissue and came back to find Max and Adrien standing at opposite sides of the tiny space, each eyeing the other coldly. This wasn’t going well at all.

“I feel so bad,” I said, handing the tissue to Adrien. “I told him you were coming but we were still surprised.”

“It’s fine,” Adrien said, managing a smile. “I wish I’d had more time to warn you. I’m sorry for startling you.” Adrien addressed it to both of us.

“Sorry?” I said in confusion. “I’m not familiar with the word.”

“It means I feel bad,” Adrien said, taking a moment to think before finishing, “and wished I hadn’t hurt you or made you afraid.”

Sorry.
I nodded, adding it to my mental list of emotive words. It seemed like an important one.

“So how’d you get in?” Max pushed off the wall and came to stand between Adrien and me. “And why are you here?”

“We have members of the Resistance planted in the unit above this one. We cut through the floor over a shared ventilation duct.”

“Resistance?” Max asked, narrowing his eyes.

“Let’s all sit down,” I said nervously. “Adrien, why don’t you start from the beginning?’

“Sure.”

Max’s face was still hard. He pulled me down to sit beside him on the ground. “You can take the chair,” he said to Adrien. Max’s behavior was confusing me. I didn’t understand it and I didn’t like it.

“I don’t know exactly where to begin,” Adrien said.

“Do you have a glitcher power?”

“Max,” I chastised sharply.

“It’s fine,” Adrien said. “Yes, I do have a power, though we refer to it as a Gift.”

“Well, what is it?” Max’s voice was rough and insistent.

“I get visions of the future.” Adrien met Max’s angry eyes calmly. He turned to me. “That’s how I knew you were in trouble on the train that day.”

He explained quickly about our trip to the Surface. All the questions and confusion—the water dreams, my memories of the forest, all of it was explained in the space of ten minutes. It almost seemed too simple. Something tugged at the back of my mind. There was something else he was leaving out, something I’d forgotten. I sat stunned while he went on.

“What is this Resistance movement?” Max interrupted.

“It’s basically a sustained rebel faction,” Adrien said. “It’s been alive in some form since the beginning. Some people escaped being chipped and kept a record of what was really going on after D-day. But they were powerless to actually stop it. We still are, kinda. It’s not like the Rez has ever been strong enough to make a stand against Comm Corp or fight them straight out. Mainly, we just try to keep a strong non-chipped presence, an alternative for those who can manage to escape government control.”

“So you don’t actually
do
anything?” Max said harshly.

“I didn’t say that.” Adrien looked at Max. “We believe preparation’s essential, that a time will come when we have enough people and enough power to make a stand. We get weapons, recruit spies among the Uppers, and make tech to combat Community tech. We’re trying to find ways to disable the Link system for good, to give people back their voices—” He looked at me now. “—and when that happens, the Rez will be able to provide the infrastructure and resources to help the people rise up against the bastards who’ve enslaved them.”

“And when is this great revolution going to happen?” Max’s voice was caustic.

Adrien looked down, with what I thought looked like sadness or uncertainty. “We haven’t found a way to disable the Link permanently in any significant population. Until we do, it’s impossible to make a lasting change.”

“So what are you doing here at the Academy?” I asked.

“I’m looking for glitchers. I’m a recruiter, kinda. I mean, visions aren’t the most reliable way to make sure we’ve found all the glitchers at an Academy.” He looked down self-consciously. “But it’s something. My task is to find as many as possible, prepare them for the outside world, then escape with the Rez’s help.”

Escape.
He’d said the word out loud I barely let myself whisper furtively in my head. Did I dare let myself believe it? Was it really possible that there was a place where we could live without the constant, strangling threat of deactivation?

“And Markan,” I cut in suddenly. “We have to take Markan too. I don’t care if he’s not a glitcher.” I said it with such certainty I almost sounded angry. I blinked, surprised at myself, but Adrien only nodded.

“Of course. But”—he had that pained expression again on his face—“we can only take Markan because there’s a hope he’ll be a glitcher like you. We can’t take your parents. Even away from the Community and the Link, there’s no way we’ve found to extract the adult V-chip hardware without it killing the subject.”

“Why?” I asked. “Surely you have the equipment to take the hardware out.”

“It’s not that. By the time people reach adulthood and get the invasive final V-chip installed, they can’t survive without it regulating their limbic functions. Their brains become completely dependent on the hardware. We can keep them alive on life support, but the damage just gets worse till they’re brain-dead.”

“It’s all so horrible,” I whispered, his words sinking in. “How could human beings do this to one another?”

“It’ll be okay.” Max moved closer and put an arm around my shoulders. “I would never let anyone hurt you.”

“But Max,” I said, pulling away from him in exasperation, “this isn’t just about me. There are so many other people out there being hurt. We have to help them.”

His jaw hardened. “You can’t just save everyone—”

Adrien cut him off. “Maybe not everyone, but we can help some. I know there’s at least one more girl. I had a vision of her a couple days ago. I’d been laying low so they wouldn’t notice anything anomalous about me, but I had to contact you after I saw the vision. Her name’s Molla—she’s a year behind you at the Academy and she’s been glitching for a couple weeks now. She’s not handling it well. If we don’t get to her soon, they’ll crack her for sure.”

“What are her powers?” Max asked, glaring at Adrien.

Adrien shook his head. “I don’t know, that wasn’t part of the vision. I’m not even sure they’ve manifested yet. She’s been glitching such a short time, and they don’t always show up right away.”

“Maybe we should wait until we see if she’s worth it,” Max said. “There’s no point in risking exposure if she isn’t powerful enough to be useful to us. It’d just be dead weight.”

“Dead weight.” My mouth dropped open. “She’s a
person
, Max!”

He waved a hand. “You know what I mean.”

“No, I really don’t,” I said, suddenly furious.

Adrien cocked his head sideways, listening. “Your brother’s getting off the treadmill. These walls are cracking thin. We can’t risk talking anymore.”

“Fine.” My whole body shook in frustration at Max. “I’ll try to talk to Molla tomorrow. Will you point her out to me?” I asked Adrien.

“Yes,” Adrien whispered, “but be careful. New glitchers can be unstable, sometimes they struggle with it and turn themselves in. The Chancellor’s been watching you very closely ever since you disappeared, so you gotta be crackin’ careful with how you approach Molla. If she’s skittish, back off, or we could get all cracked.”

I nodded. “I’ll be careful. Now you guys, go.”

Max’s jaw set. “Not until after he does.”

“Max!” I barely managed to keep my voice under control. Everything that came out of his mouth tonight made me want to punch him.

“It’s fine,” Adrien said calmly. He looked at me, like he wanted to say something. After a moment he just closed his mouth, shook his head, and climbed up the ladder to my loft bed. He lifted his body up through the square space of the ceiling tile he’d removed.

The door to my room suddenly opened and I felt my heart stop cold. It was Markan.

I clenched my fist tightly behind my back, my fingernails digging into my palm as I stifled a yelp of surprise.

Markan was sweaty from the treadmill, but his eyes were sharp and alert as he scanned the room. He looked back and forth between Max and me, his forehead furrowing. Max and I stood still. I held my breath, wanting to look up and make sure that Adrien was gone, but made myself resist. I forced my eyes to stay on Markan, knowing I’d give something away for sure if I glanced at the ceiling.

“I heard voices,” Markan said, his head tilted sideways as he looked at me with an uncanny acuity.

“Maximin and I were discussing an Academy assignment.” My voice was a little high in spite of my attempt to control it.

Markan’s gaze quickly shifted to Max. “I thought I identified more than two voices.”

My neck stiffened, but Max didn’t flinch.

“You were incorrect,” Max said coolly.

Markan’s gaze flicked around the room, but then he exited, sliding the door behind him.

After the door was securely shut I immediately looked up. The tile was only half closed. Markan hadn’t seen the tile slightly askew, or else we would all have been reported. Adrien didn’t say anything, but Max and I watched in silence while he shifted the tile quietly into place above us.

I looked back at the door Markan had just shut. If he’d walked in just one moment earlier, or if he’d glanced up and seen the tile … a terrified chill clutched my chest.

I was about to say something, but Max put a finger on my lips and shook his head. His glance went toward the door and I knew what he was thinking. Markan might still be listening. We were all trained to investigate and report anomalies, after all.

Adrien had just talked about living free in the Rez, apart from the Community, but I suddenly wondered if that wasn’t just a dream made of smoke. I felt with a sinking sureness that the day was coming when I wouldn’t be so lucky—when the Uppers would find me out for what I was. But what I hadn’t fully understood until now was the horrifying realization that it all could end so easily at the hands of the brother I was trying so hard to save.

I FIRST SAW MOLLA
in the crowded cafeteria and tried to memorize her face. At first glance, she looked ordinary, like the rest of us. One problem with all the monotone suits and functional haircuts was that they made it hard to tell us apart. She looked like most of the girls around her, but I did notice a sprinkling of freckles over her nose.

The more I watched her, the more I saw other ways she stood out. Little things, like the way she tapped her toe or fidgeted with her tablet strap. People around her walked in calm, measured movements, but she seemed to radiate nervous energy. I could see why Adrien was worried. At least she had managed to resist reporting herself. That was something.