Guarded Heart (Dubicki's) (15 page)

Chapter 22

Jesse was going stir crazy. It sucked being in the hospital
for the last few days. The doctors told him he had a chance of leaving by the
end of the week as long as he worked with the physical therapists to make a
plan for his recovery.
Not a problem.
He wanted to recover as bad as the
doctors wanted him to. He couldn’t imagine a life without fighting as a career.
He didn’t have a backup plan. Working in the family bar for the rest of his
life was not an option. He loved that place, but fighting was his life.

He’d graduated from narcotics for the pain in the first
couple of days to non-narcotic pain relievers, and he was thankful that his
head wasn’t feeling as cloudy. The swelling in his eye had gone down, and other
than a few stitches over his eyebrow, his face was returning to normal. He
could not wait until the rest of his body decided to follow suit. He let
himself drift off to sleep. That’s all there was to do when he couldn’t get out
of bed.

He’d been torturing himself listening to breakup songs all
week on his MP3 player. “Stay” by Georgia Florida Line was at the top of the
list. The opening lyrics “I’d sell my soul just to heal your pain, and I’d
break my bones just to heal your pain” spoke to him. He felt like the song was
written for him.

Haley had called him, and they discussed Violet coming to
visit him but ultimately decided against it because she might not understand
why her newfound daddy was all beat up and in a hospital bed. It hurt his heart
to not have Violet near him, but he was only just beginning to realize the
sacrifices a parent had to make. He knew he’d see her again soon.

He dozed off thinking about Violet and imagining that he
might have a future with Carissa and that she and Carissa might know each other.
In his dream, they were all one happy family; they’d maybe even give Violet
brothers and sisters someday.

Jesse woke up to the image of Carissa standing at the end of
his bed. He blinked. He must still be dreaming. Then she started to move, and
he realized it was no longer a dream. She walked towards him, and he felt the
excitement he only felt when she was near for the first time in far too long.
He hoped that this time she’d stay.

“Hi, Jesse,” she lifted her hand to wave to him and smiled
at him. “How are you feeling?”

“Better. What brings you by?”

He wanted to reach out to her, but his pride had endured
enough battering over the last week. He didn’t need to add to it.

“Jesse, I came to tell you I’m sorry.”

“You are?”

“Yes, I’m sorry for the way I acted. I shouldn’t have shut
you down like that and accused you of lying without giving you a chance to
truly tell me why you did it. I ran, Jesse. It was wrong. I’ve missed you every
single second that I’ve been gone.”

Jesse stirred with emotion, but his face seemed hard; he was
still hurt.

Carissa’s stomach still stirred with nerves, but she
continued.

“I’m sorry, Jesse. If I hadn’t left you, maybe this wouldn’t
have happened to you. We can’t change that, but if you let me, I will be by
your side for every day of the healing process.”

She nervously bit her lip. He wasn’t making it easy with his
silence, but she was putting it all out there. If he wouldn’t take her back, at
least she’d know she tried.

“I want to be in your life. If you let me, I’d also like to
know your daughter if and when you feel ready. I just want another chance,
Jesse. Please,” she said with tears rolling down her cheeks.

Jesse watched her as she spoke to him. When she finished, he
turned his head away from her as if he was trying to figure out whether to
forgive her or not.

Finally, he turned to her. “You hurt me. Everything was
going so great between the two of us, and then you left. I know I made a
mistake not telling you about Violet, but I was still relatively shell-shocked
with the information that I had a young daughter by a woman I thought I knew so
well at one time but never told me. I wanted to process it before I told you.”

He looked wounded more than just physically when he spoke to
her.

“I’m sorry Haley was so vindictive in telling you like she
did. She had no right. She was clear to me that she wanted us to try to be a
family, and I’m sure that had something to do with it. Still, it would be nice
if you could have given me the benefit of the doubt. I don’t know if I can get
over that you just left. I know you had your reasons, but you left me at a
terrible time.”

She nodded in understanding as she bit back a sob. She
didn’t deserve his forgiveness.

“Carissa, I’m not done. I ached for you; there’s not a day
that’s gone by that I haven’t missed you. I blame no one for the behavior that
caused me to fuck up most of my practice sessions after that but myself. I DO
want you, and I want you back in my life. If we do this, we have to promise to
each other truth in all ways and to communicate with each other better.”

She nodded her agreement but still stood away from his bed.

“Now get your ass over here because you’re MINE,” he said as
he reached out for her with his good hand.

He pulled her in to his chest and kissed her with all the
passion they’d both had bottled inside since they had been apart.

“I mean what I said, Carissa. I’m a reasonable man, but I
could not cope with you leaving me again. When I thought about the fact that
you might move on to another man, it nearly killed me inside. You do things to
me that no woman has ever done; I never thought I had a jealous streak until
there was you. You are mine. I am yours. Get it?”

She nodded. She felt her insides warm and her sex swell with
need for him. Something about him wanting to possess her so completely turned
her on. He roughly pulled at her clothing again as he kissed her passionately.

“Carissa, I love you. I don’t know when or how it happened,
but it is what it is. You have wrecked me for anyone else. That said, once you
come back to me, I am never letting you go. Do you understand?”

Carissa nodded.

“Carissa, I need to hear you say it back to me, please.” He
put his hand under her chin as she looked up at him.

“Jesse, I’m yours. I’ve always been yours, even when I was
fighting it. I’m sorry for any part that I’ve played in hurting you, but I’m
done with that. I can’t promise I won’t hurt you again, but I can tell you that
I’m not giving up on us again. Ever. I love you. Please, will you give us
another chance?”

“Hello, isn’t that just what I said?” he teased as he smiled
down at her. “Now please crawl your pretty little ass into bed with me.”

He patted the bed beside him with his good hand. Carissa
snuggled next to him and felt better than she had in weeks. She was home. He
was her home. She’d never forget that again.

***

One week later, Jesse was released from the hospital. After
a few days of rest which the doctor ordered as a condition of his release, he
vowed to be with his two girls, Violet and Carissa, as much as possible. Life
was too short for anything else.

They climbed out of Carissa’s car as they reached the
Dubicki’s parking lot. His family and friends were there to welcome him home.
They had agreed to each other in the car that they’d stay for a little while,
but that Jesse had to rest and couldn’t stay too long. Carissa had taken charge
of making sure that the rules were adhered to with his care. His life as a
fighter depended on it.

Kelsey approached them. She hugged Jesse and then reached
out for Carissa.

“It’s nice to see you two are back together,” Kelsey said to
her.

“Well, Kelsey, I have to say that if you wouldn’t have come
to talk to me, I might have stayed stubborn for so long I lost my chance with
him. I thank you for that.”

“You don’t owe me thanks. Well, other than that you’ll name
your first-born child after me,” she joked.

Carissa laughed. “We’ll see about that, Kelsey. We might not
find out for a while, though. Jesse has his own child to get to know now.”

Jesse tapped her shoulder lightly. “Carissa, I’ve got someone
I’d like you to meet. This is my daughter, Violet.”

Carissa’s heart melted when she met the little girl that
looked so much like her daddy. She got down on her knees to talk to Violet.

“Hi, Violet, I’m Carissa. It’s so nice to meet you. I hope
we can be friends.”

Violet just looked at her with her thumb in her mouth as if
she would consider it. Carissa felt her heart swell with love at the thought
that she might be part of the little girl’s life.

As the day progressed, they said their goodbyes, and Carissa
helped Jesse get his things upstairs to his apartment. Haley came to get Violet
because Jesse couldn’t take care of her yet for at least a week. They agreed
they’d visit him a few times until he was ready.

As Carissa was getting all the things put away in his
bedroom, he came up behind her and put his arm around her waist.

“Do you know how long I have been waiting to get you alone?”
he said as he nuzzled her ear.

“Now, Jesse Dubicki, whatever do you mean?” She did her best
southern accent as she said it, all the while feigning ignorance.

“Let me show you,” he said as he turned her around.

She dropped the clothes of his she’d had in her hands as
their lips found each other’s. They kissed each other with the ravenous hunger
that they’d never known until each other. Until that moment.

“Carissa, baby, I want to take your clothes off, but it’s
hard since I still can’t use my arm. It’s lucky that I can’t, though, because
if I could, I’d rip your damn clothes off,” he said as she stripped her clothes
off with an urgency that matched his.

She leaned forward to help him remove his clothes, and, as
she did, he started to fondle her breasts. She moaned. “Jesse, if you keep
doing that, I’m going to lose focus on removing your clothes.”

He laughed as she struggled to maintain her focus. As she
kneeled to take his long shorts off, she couldn’t help but stop to admire his
cock. She’d missed this and wanted to devour every bit of him. She left his
boxer briefs on and could see his erection through them and decided to tease
him a little. She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his hard length
outside of his underwear.

“Carissa, what are you doing?” he groaned.

“Shhh,” she said.

She teased him with her mouth until neither of them could
stand it. She reached inside the elastic waist band and brought his boxer
briefs down. She made a primal sound as she saw his sex spring to life.
God,
I want him. Want this.
She leaned forward to lick the glistening tip of
him.

“Baby,” he groaned.

She opened her mouth and took his length in her mouth. He
tasted so good to her. She could feel the heat in between her thighs and moved
her hips to the rhythm of her mouth as she sucked him. She reached under him
and felt his balls as he grabbed her head to him as she sucked. She didn’t know
what had gotten into her.

“Babe, if you keep doing that, I’m going to come,” he said.

“That’s the idea,” she said as she looked up at him with a
mischievous glint in her eye. Her lips were swollen from sucking him. He
thought he might come as he saw her take her lips off his member that was
glistening from the touch of her tongue.

“I love that you want that. I want to give you some
pleasure, too. Come up here,” he said as he pulled her to him, and they toppled
to the bed.

Carissa moaned as he kissed her neck and lightly sucked on
her earlobe. She was so hot and bothered she didn’t have the strength to do
anything other than moan.

His fingers found her wet center, and he lightly touched his
fingers to her folds.

“God, Carissa, you feel so good. Do you like that?” he asked
her as he eased one finger into her opening.

“Yes. God, yes,” she said as she arched her hips up in
response

“Do you like that?” he asked as he eased another finger
inside of her. She moaned loudly in response

“How about this?” he said as he lowered his body so that he
could taste her.

He loved the way that her sex smelled as he brought his lips
to her sweet folds. Gently, he kissed the inside of her thighs. Carissa
whimpered impatiently. Lightly, he brought his own lips over her and kissed his
way gently into her folds. He let his tongue find her center, and he licked it
slowly. She put her fists in his hair, frustrated that he wasn’t giving her
more. He looked up at her.

“Patience, love,” he said as he got back to the beautiful
taste of her. His tongue picked up speed on her clit, and she arched her back
in response.

“Yes, Jesse. You feel so good. Yes!” she said as she
exploded into his mouth which he savored every moment of with his tongue.

“Now what should we do?” he asked wickedly.

“Lay down,” she ordered him.

She wanted to do the work, not only because it was necessary
due to his bad arm, but because she loved having the power and the feel of him
beneath her. Her body quivered in anticipation of his rock hard arousal beneath
her. As he settled into position, she gently lowered herself onto him. They
both lost themselves in the moment. She rode him as his free hand gripped and
guided her behind.

She leaned forward to kiss him, never losing her rhythm
while she did so. She raised herself up just a tad to let her breasts hover
over his mouth. He responded by gently suckling her breasts. He gently teased
her hard nipples with his teeth. Not too rough but just enough, and she loved
it.

“Jesse, I don’t have much longer I can go without coming.”

“Baby, I want you to come for me. I want us to come
together. Ride me.”

That was all the encouragement she needed to ride him with
reckless abandon. As her body started to jerk with another orgasm, he grabbed
her hips as he bucked himself up to her so hard he hit her hard cervix as he
exploded inside of her. She could feel his hot load fill her, and it sated her
in a way that was foreign to her. She loved it. She loved him.