Guarded Heart (13 page)

A few hours had passed and all the guys from Mitch’s work
were at the bar lining up the shots including Wes and things were getting wild.
I learned his dates name was Carrie and apparently this was there second date.
She actually worked in the office at their construction company. How sweet…I
tried to avoid them as much as possible I cringed every single time she touched
him. Her hand brushing his arm or grabbing him around his waist and at one
point she leaned in to him and kissed his cheek as he was chasing a shot with
his beer. It appeared he was a little surprised by that action and his eyes
immediately found mine. I looked away quickly and took a drink of my water. 
The guys were getting rowdy and they were all now pretty drunk and slightly
obnoxious.

I sat next to Allison who sat next to Mitch. I was turned
toward the band but looking down at the floor when I felt him. I looked up and he
stood directly in front of me as his date was looking from a few chairs down
she appeared to be a little confused. “Can I buy you a drink…please?” I shook
my head, “Come on just one…do a shot with me.” I looked at Allison who looked
like she was about to tell him off I shook my head just barely at her but
enough that she understood. I looked back up at him, “Wes, I don’t drink…so
no.” He laughed, “Since when don’t you drink? I just think you don’t want me
buying you one…bet you would take one if someone else bought it huh.” I had no
time to answer and I about fell out of my chair when Mitch slammed his drink down
onto the bar puffed his chest all out and let Wes have it.

“She doesn’t fucking drink dumb fuck…not since your ass
knocked her up and then ran back to your fucking ex-wife leaving her alone to
take care of it all. I mean what kind of man does that. You hurt her…you
fucking crushed her. You think this has all been easy for her…poor girl has
been on her own while you been doing god knows what she has been having killer
morning sickness, passing out and having all sorts of complications with this
pregnancy. Then you bring a fucking date to a party you knew she would be
at…that’s some cold shit Wes…fucking cold!”

I seriously felt the heat in my face and I knew by the
feeling I was having I was definitely about to get sick…I took deep breaths to
try and slow it down. I could hear Alison telling Mitch to shut up. “You’re
pregnant?” I couldn’t look at him I just needed to get out of here fast. I
started to get up and he reached out to grab my waist to hold me still and then
he moved his hands over to my lower stomach and looked down. I couldn’t stop my
tears from falling as he kept his hands right on my baby bump…on our little
bean. After a minute he looked up and his eyes were glassy and tears pooled but
didn’t fall. His lip trembled as he spoke, “Sam…your carrying my baby...your
pregnant…with my baby.” I couldn’t handle this. My throat was burning and my
chest was tight. I needed a moment I got up and went to the bathroom. Allison
was right behind me.

I let the tears fall as I slid down the wall to the floor
I knew I shouldn’t be on a bathroom floor in some banquet room at a bar but I
didn’t have enough strength in my legs to hold me up. Allison was sitting on
the floor right in front of me as I cried, “At least he knows now…Mitch is mad
at himself but in his defense the alcohol made him temporarily insane.” She was
trying for a smile and I gave her a light one. A light knock came on the door
and Mitch slowly stuck his head in, “Do you hate me?” I made sure he knew I was
not mad and everything was okay. I knew I needed to talk to Wes there was no
way to avoid it now.

I waited it out in the bathroom until I could no longer
cry and that I knew I wasn’t going to be sick. When I walked out I found the
nearest table and sat down with my water as I sipped it slowly. Wes was in what
appeared to be a heated argument with Carrie his date. He finally noticed I was
now sitting across the room at the table and he turned away from her and came
straight toward me. Carrie hollered after him and put her hands on her hips
before storming off toward the bar.

“Can I sit?” He motioned to the chair next to me. I
nodded and he pulled the chair over closer so when he sat down he would be
directly in front of me. “I know I should have told you sooner and I’m sorry”,
I couldn’t look up at him. He reached out and tilted my chin up, “Your right
you should have told me as soon as you found out. I should have been there
through it all. I should have been with every time you were sick and needed to
see the doctor, I can guarantee you something I am here now whether you want me
to be or not.” I shook my head, “No…I won’t keep your baby from you Wes I won’t
but I am fine on my own. I don’t want you to think you are stuck with me. You
should continue your life and we… we’ll work the details out later.” He just
stared at me and then he reached forward and placed his fingertips under the
edge of my shirt directly on my skin. He slipped his hands in further so his
palms were now both stretched out over my bump, “I don’t want you just because
you are carrying my baby Sam. I have never stopped wanting you. I never stopped
loving you…I want to raise our baby together because I am in love with you not
because I feel I have too. Don’t take that from me Sam please…I am begging you
don’t.” I didn’t have the chance to say anything he lowered his head into my
lap directly over his hands. He was shaking and when I placed my hand on his
back I realized he was crying.

When he rose up his face and eyes were slick with tears.
He kissed me softly and rested his forehead against mine with his eyes still
closed. I waited for the next move unsure of how to respond I had never
witnessed a man cry like he just did. I was speechless and confused. “How many
times do I have to tell you I love you before you believe me? I went on two
dates both with Carrie. I am not attracted to her she was a distraction. You
have my entire heart baby…you always have.” I had no right to ask the next
question but I did anyway, “Did you sleep with her?” He looked at me without
answering and I feared the answer as my heart raced. “No…you are the last
person I have been with Sam. It wasn’t like that not with her and definitely
not with Sarah. Carrie and I kissed once but it was more of a quick goodbye
kiss. I swear to you I was faithful the entire time we were together and since
we haven’t been.

It was close to two in the morning when we had finished
talking and Carrie looked pissed off glaring over in our direction. I told Wes
he needed to take her home and I was going to go home to bed I was exhausted
from all the crying and talking. It had been a long day getting things ready
and I had been going since seven that morning. I got up to walk in Allison’s
direction only to have him wrap his hands around my waist from behind and pulled
me back into him. His hands were rested on my tummy lightly rubbing through my
shirt I seen Carrie staring from across the room like I was stealing her man as
if they were married or something. I didn’t owe this girl a damn thing she had
no idea what was going on. She didn’t know our history and how we got right
where we are at this moment. Fuck her and her nasty glares.

I let my body relax back into his because he felt so
familiar and at that moment I realized just how much I had missed him. His
smell, his touch, his amazing sexy voice and I missed the way he loved me. “I
love you baby, I am going to take care of you Sam and our little baby. I promise
you that I am not going anywhere and I will never hurt you again. Let me back
in Samantha…please I will do anything to be what we were before all this. I
miss you so much and Kayla misses you. I want you and I want our baby…please
let me take care of both of you. Let me in…please.” I turned to face him running
my hands along his side and around his back, “I will try…I promise. It won’t be
easy but I’ll try.” He kissed the top of my head and to prove a point to ‘Miss
Pissy’ still glaring from across the room I went a step further. “Kiss me!” He
grinned at me and did just as I asked. Bringing his hand to the side of my face
leaving the other on my hip he lowered his lips to mine. Slowly kissing me at first…very
softly, then pressing just a little harder the familiar teasing of his tongue
began. I was hungry for his kiss without knowing it until now…I was starving
for him but I knew I had to control it. I wasn’t ready to let him completely
back in…not yet. He moaned and pouted a little as I pulled away slowly. “I
think if you keeping kissing me like that your girlfriend over there might kill
you on the way home…or poison you in your sleep.” He smiled and looked over my
shoulder quickly then immediately back to me, “Baby she is not my
girlfriend…and I really don’t give a shit if she is mad. She knows about us I
have never hid my feelings for you. I have missed you entirely too much to not
take the chance to kiss you whenever I can. Your lips are too sweet to pass
up.” He licked his lower lip and then hugged me.

When we all made our way outside to leave Wes wouldn’t go
until I was safely in my car and he asked Mitch to follow me to make she I got
inside okay. They shook hands and Wes told him he was glad he got drunk and
told him about the baby. Mitch looked a little defeated about the confession
but I wasn’t mad just shocked. Now that Wes knew things would be easier.

Sunday morning I woke to my phone chirping next to me…

How is my baby doing today…that would be you…you’ll
always be baby to me. We’ll just call the bun in the oven Little Wesley… ;)

I had to laugh at his text.

Well I am cranky and hungry…as for Little Wesley AKA
‘Baby Bean’ it could actually be a Little Samantha…Hmm

I found myself smiling and holding my phone in my hand
like a teenager girl staring at the screen waiting for him to reply…

Okay a Little Samantha would be fine too…I like
girls.  ??Baby Bean?? I will have to ask you about this later and Hungry? If my
baby is hungry I should feed you. Want to get some breakfast…Me and Kayla’s
treat?? Please!

Did I want to do this? I had to guard my heart. I had too
because I knew if it broke again I would never recover.

Okay and…Okay!

A very fast response came back he had to have had it
already typed out waiting to press send hoping I would say yes.

IHOP here we come. I can be there in 30 minutes and I
love you. I am feeling just a little less empty. This is a start right? I will
fix this…I will make you trust me again…and eventually you will love me enough
to tell me you do.

The last part broke my heart I did love him that’s why
everything hurt so much. I loved him so much but…I had to protect my heart…I
had too.

“Daddy my hands are sticky see”, Kayla announced as she
placed her hands one on each of Wes’s cheeks. He quickly put his hands over the
top of hers, “Oh no! Your stuck forever…I will have to take you everywhere
now.” She giggled as he pretended to be unable to remove her sticky syrup
covered hands from his face. Wes was so good to her…how could any child of his
not adore him. He was so attentive and protective. I knew my little bean would
be loved by its daddy…not doubt about it.

He cleaned her hands with the wet wipes the waitress had
given him. The waitress in my opinion was being a little to attentive to Wes if
you asked me but I chose to try my best to ignore it. He seemed unaffected by
her obvious attraction. How did this girl not know it was inappropriate to bend
over continuously in front of him letting her loose shirt sag and the top of
her extremely oversized cleavage become completely available for viewing?

I felt Wes trace his thumb across the top of my hand
causing me to look up from my current irritated state. My emotions and hormones
we really off the wall lately. I was aggressive and very verbal without
realizing what I was saying until it is too late. “Ouch, what is that look all
about? You sit on a thumb tack or something?” He grinned at me and it almost
made me smile back…almost. “Nope, no tack just wondering if maybe Kayla and I
should wait outside while you and the waitress continue eye fucking each
other.” I whispered at him with venom. His smile faded and he leaned in real
close, “I hope you’re kidding.” I knew he wasn’t doing anything wrong I mean he
really had barely looked at her and only spoke a few words throughout the
entire time she was hovering over him but damn it I was feeling cranky.

I rolled my eyes and leaned back in my chair crossing my
arms then looking to the side to watch the people walk passed the window. I
really just wanted to get out of here. MaKayla was with the over flirty
waitress at the counter getting a complimentary treat for being a big girl and
finishing her entire plate. When I saw them starting to walk back hand and hand
in our direction I grabbed my purse from the chair next to me and stood, “Your
girlfriend is on her way back, I’ll be outside waiting.” He tried to reach for
my hand but I moved quickly for the door.

I was leaning against the side of his truck when Wes and
Kayla walked out. His eyes connected with mine and I was feeling like a complete
bitch when he started walking in my direction holding Kayla’s hand. He opened
the back door and lifted her up into the truck buckling her securely. I reached
for the front door handle, “Don’t get in yet…I need to talk to you.” I felt my
stomach start to flip…shit he was mad. I let go of the handle and waited.

After he closed Kayla’s door he turned to me and ran his
hand down my arm taking my hand in his, “I am really hoping that it is just the
hormones making you jealous…because that in there. Baby the way you flipped out
was like I was flirting and drooling all over some girl I barely even noticed.
You are the only one I see…Sam do you have any idea how beautiful you are to
me.” He was right but I was too damn stubborn and hormonal to admit it. “You
put this insecure feeling in me…I just want to go home Wes…please.” He put his
hand on to my cheek and slowly slid it around to grip my neck pulling me to him
he kissed me softly, “Not yet I made plans…” what was he talking about. “You
never said anything about doing something else”, I tried to sound irritated.
Wes kissed me sweetly once more, “That would be because it is a surprise…come
on let me do this.”