Authors: Jo Watson
We have not said a word to each other since I opened the door but it feels like we have said so much. He runs the tip of his nose across my cheek and brushes a kiss across my lips.
“Jackson,” I whisper, and his eyes lock onto mine. “This is going to sound crazy since we’ve known each other for only two weeks, but I love you.” I feel the heat in my face and my heart races in my chest as I wait for his response. Jackson chuckles, and then a smile stretches across his face and he kisses my lips before responding.
“Maddy,” he whispers, “this is going to sound crazy, too, but I think I have been in love with you since that night on the roof.” It should sound crazy, but it doesn’t. It sounds like the most wonderful thing I have ever heard and I lift my face so our lips can meet again. The kiss is full of reverence and love.
Jackson lets go of my hands and reaches down to touch my skin where it peeks out between my pants and my shirt. There is usually an urgency between us but tonight is tender and unrushed. His hand sweeps up my side slowly, taking my shirt with it until I lift myself slightly and he removes it. I want to feel his skin against mine so I trail my hands up his sides and pull his shirt over his head. There is a feeling of warmth and connection as our bare skin comes together, hard muscles against soft curves.
Jackson’s hands explore my body, and I hold on to him tightly, running my fingers up and down his back. His mouth heats up my neck as he licks and sucks his way down to my chest and swiftly removes my bra, replacing its support with his hands and his warm mouth. I close my eyes against the overwhelming feelings that are crashing down on me.
Reaching down, I begin to lower his shorts, and he pulls his head away to look into my eyes. “I want to feel you, Jackson. Nothing in between us.”
I watch as he weighs his decision and finally he lifts his hips to allow me to remove his gym shorts. His boxers are still on and my jeans still cover me, but with each item removed, the intimacy of the moment multiplies and I feel as if we can’t possibly get any closer. Jackson shifts his weight so that he is lying to the side of me and runs his finger across my stomach from hip bone to hip bone. At first he watches his finger, sliding it slowly in a way that builds my desire, then he looks me straight in the eyes as he retraces its line back to my other hip. I nod when his finger stops at my button and watch his eyes as he begins to remove my pants.
I have heard stories of sex being clumsy, rushed and awkward, but this seduction tonight is smooth and graceful. I lift my hips to help him and he pulls down my jeans and panties at the same time. I lie naked below him, both physically and emotionally, and watch as his eyes take me in. I wait for his hands to touch me in the spots newly revealed but instead he places his hand on the side of my face and kisses me.
There is no question that I want to be with him in this way—no doubt in my mind he is the right person to share this with. I graze my fingertips down his side and am encouraged as his muscles jump beneath my touch. When I reach the waistband of his boxers, I tuck my fingers underneath and begin to pull them down. Jackson’s hand finds mine and he stills it beneath his grip.
“Maddy, I have never wanted anything as bad as I want this, but if you’re not ready I can wait.”
I don’t answer him; I just watch him as I remove his boxers and run my hand along his bare skin. Jackson’s hand wraps around my head so that his fingers are tangled in my hair and his thumb rests on my cheek. He pulls my mouth toward his and kisses me, stroking my cheek with his thumb. My hand is on his forearm now, clinging to him as he guides my face toward his. I grip his bicep with my other arm and sink into the feeling of being completely secure and protected in his arms.
“I can’t remember the last time I was this nervous, Rookie,” he says. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Jackson, I trust you.” He is completely still, studying my face and watching for each emotion.
“Then look at me the whole time, Maddy. No running. Just you and me.” I nod my head and smile to reassure him that this is what I want. He gets up from the bed and retrieves something from his gym bag and puts it on my bedside table. At the edge of the bed, he reaches his hand out for me and I take it. Jackson lifts me off the bed, then pulls down the comforter and climbs in, holding the covers open for me to join him. “And you were worried about your manners,” I say, and we both laugh before scooting closer together so that our bodies are touching and one of his legs is between mine.
Jackson lightly cups my face and then trails his hand down my body, stopping to feel each sensitive area until I am aching with need. His hand slips between my legs and he ignites the skin on my thighs with his warm touch before reaching my center. He begins to make slow circles again with his hand, with just the right amount of pressure to make me blind with desire. I close my eyes for a second but Jackson whispers for me to look at him, and once again our eyes meet.
“Maddy, I don’t care what they say in romance novels, this is going to hurt. I think if you trust me and we take our time, we can make it amazing for both of us.” I nod my head and hope he will continue to lead me in this. His eyes look over my shoulder to my bedside table and I turn my head to follow his line of vision. Jackson knows that I have started taking the pill, but he has placed a condom next to me and I am grateful, knowing that he is no virgin. I reach up and take the wrapper, opening it as Jackson continues to build my desire and pleasure.
When I have the condom in my hand, I reach for him and begin to roll it on. I have heard I should be nervous, that this should be a clumsy experience but I can’t imagine that Jackson would let that happen. When the condom is in place, Jackson runs a hand along himself to make sure it is on correctly, and then adjusts himself so that he is between my legs, his hand returning to my center. With the excitement of this moment, my orgasm begins to build, causing my body to throb with need and heat.
“Tell me when you’re close, Maddy,” Jackson whispers and then looks into my eyes. It takes only a minute for that moment to arrive, like a bolt of electricity it surges through me.
“Jackson…” I whisper as my body shudders under him. As the first wave rolls through me, Jackson pushes himself against my entrance and I can feel my body tightening around him. The feeling of stretching is new to me but not uncomfortable, and as he pushes further inside me, his movement increases the pleasure I am feeling. With one last thrust he is completely inside me and I wince at the sharp pain that shoots through me.
Jackson’s arms are around me and he hugs me tight, kissing my cheek and my lips as we wait for the pain to pass. I almost close my eyes again but Jackson shakes his head before they shut completely, and I anchor to his eyes again and breathe steadily. I am not sure how long we stay like this, but the pain is wearing off and Jackson begins to move in and out of me, not once letting his eyes leave mine.
I have never been more connected to anyone and the feeling swells inside my chest, causing a tear to fall down the side of my face toward my hair. Jackson’s thumb swipes it away and he kisses where it has traveled, whispering, “I love you.” I feel his pace quicken and then his body tenses. When he finds his release, his lips meet mine again. I could never have asked for a better first time.
As I fall asleep wrapped in his arms I know that my virginity was not the only thing given away tonight. I gave Jackson my heart, and he gave me his in return.
Chapter Thirteen
I have had no contact with my family for a while now and while the freedom feels absolutely amazing, I know that it cannot go on this way forever. My heart soars every time I hear Jackson’s voice but I fear that being with him is going to cost me dearly. I have told my brothers to back off until these three weeks are up and I wait every day for the moment they decide that they have waited long enough.
It does not surprise me that today is the day Ben decides to regain control. After getting ready this morning, Jackson and I get into my car to head to lunch at our little café. On the way, my phone rings through the speakers. I put a finger to my lips to tell Jackson to remain silent and then answer the call with my Bluetooth device. I roll my eyes when I hear Ben’s loud, commanding voice asking how I am doing. Jackson notices and gives me a curious look so I mouth the words ‘big brother’ to him and he nods in understanding.
“Ben, I’m busy. What do you want?” I ask, and Jackson turns his head to look out the window, giving me a little privacy.
“Madeline, I’m sorry about lunch the other day. I was really stressed and I hate to hear anything about you that makes me worry. I was a little spun up and the way I handled it was probably not the best.”
“I need you to back off, Ben. I am perfectly capable of making my own choices. I am an adult, not a little girl anymore, and I wish you would respect that and stop trying to force things on me.” I can feel my frustration with him boiling just under my skin. I want this call over quickly, but I need Jackson to understand what we are up against if we stay together.
“You may be an adult, but you will always be my little sister. I hardly think that I am forcing Greg on you. Why don’t we wait to see how you feel about it once he gets home? Dad is expecting you to accompany Greg to the office Christmas party—it will make him so happy to see you on Greg’s arm.”
I can feel it happen, the moment I feel broken. My shoulders slouch and I turn my head slightly so Jackson can’t see my face. “Ben, I am not going to the Christmas party with Greg. I’m not in love with him and dragging this thing out is just causing both of us pain.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Madeline.” The command in Ben’s voice intensifies and I can almost feel the wave of air hit my face when Jackson snaps his head around to make eye contact with me. His eyes are pleading with me to stick up for myself, but I know better than to fight a battle that I can’t win. “You’re not still whoring around with that football player, are you?”
“Watch your fucking mouth,” Jackson hisses. “Speak to her like that again and I will make sure you can’t speak for weeks.”
I reach out to end the call but Jackson’s hand grips my wrist and he shakes his head no. His hand slides down to take mine and I wait for Ben to attack. “Madeline, am I on fucking speaker phone? Will you never learn to keep your personal life personal? This is between you and me.”
Jackson shifts forward in his seat. “It was between you and Maddy until you crossed the line.”
“Her name is Madeline, but I wouldn’t expect you to know that or to care. I’ve heard about your reputation. Just walk away from my sister and let her be with a man that deserves her. You’ve had your fun.”
Jackson chuckles. “Are you always such an ass? You don’t tell me what to call her and you don’t tell her who to date. My reputation is not a secret, but it’s my past. Your sister is my future.” My hand is shaking in his but he doesn’t let it go.
“The fuck she is! You think we would just sit back and let you break her heart? You might be able to kick my ass, but there are two more of us that will fight for her. You want to take us all on? Don’t be stupid.” Embarrassment doesn’t even begin to describe how I am feeling right now.
“No—I don’t want to take any of you on, but I want to be with your sister. If that means I have to go through all of you, I will. You want to get together to discuss this in person, I am happy to meet up. But I’m ending this call, because I don’t have a lot of time left with Maddy and frankly you are wasting it with this domineering bullshit.” With that, Jackson reaches across to end the call and squeezes my hand.
“Jackson, I’m sorry.”
“Rookie, he is just looking out for you and I can respect that, but if he talks to you like that again I am going to teach him some manners.” I squeeze his hand back and nod my head.
“If we do this—if we are together, I need you to know that my family won’t make it easy for you. I wish it were different but it’s not.”
“Maddy, they don’t intimidate me. I am willing to fight in whatever way they want to challenge me. Words or fists, you are mine and they can’t change that.” Jackson brings my hand to his mouth so he can brush a kiss across my knuckles.
After lunch we head down to the beach. I haven’t been here in a long time and it feels good to breathe in the salty air and feel the warm sand beneath my feet. We take our shoes off and leave them by the wall that separates the sand from the strand, and make our way down to where the ocean laps at the shore. When it is just the two of us it feels so perfect. He holds my hand as we walk along the shoreline and talk about our families.
Jackson’s mother has never remarried. Jackson tells me that he remembers only a little about his father before he died, and then he asks me about my mother.
“She died of cancer when I was six, and my father never remarried, either. I don’t have many memories of her, but the ones I do have are all happy. She used to sing to me and play dolls with me. I remember that she would climb in beside me at night and rub my back until I fell asleep. My brothers tell me she did a lot of volunteer work with different organizations. She dreamed of starting a charity for single mothers in need, but had only begun organizing it when she was diagnosed.”
“Wow, she sounds like a great role model.” Jackson squeezes my hand and I can feel the heat climb up my arm and warm my heart.
“I wish I remembered more. I wish I knew what she wanted for me and why she made the choices she made in her life.”
“What do you mean? What kind of choices?”
We have stopped now and are sitting on a sand dune watching the surfers catch waves in the distance. I tell him about the photo in my aunt’s album.
“I guess I’d be curious about that, too, but I’m sure your aunt had her reasons for not wanting to tell you about it. Maybe it’s better left in the past. If it’s important enough, it will come out one day.” I want to believe that is true, that one day I will have all the answers and gain a clearer picture of who my mother was.
We are meeting up with Abby and Kyle for an early dinner and cocktails, so we brush the sand off of ourselves and retrieve our shoes. I hold Jackson’s hand as we walk along the strand and feel like we are truly a couple.