Health At Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight (35 page)

Read Health At Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight Online

Authors: Linda Bacon

 
Choose high-volume foods.
Dozens of studies show that you eat the same volume of food at a meal, as opposed to the same number of calories.
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395
Makes sense: A full belly is a simple but sure sign that the body has taken in energy as food. Also, nerves sensitive to stomach distension trigger appetite-reducing mechanisms.
 
In one study, researchers served participants who were used to eating a half-pound hamburger a quarter-pound burger instead.
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After eating, the participants said they were still hungry. However, when researchers added lettuce and tomato to the burger, and used a fluffy bun, the participants ate it and said they were full. Why? The researchers suspect that was because they received a visual signal of an amount of food they thought would make them feel full.
 
Eating fewer calories at individual meals is not ultimately successful as a weight-control technique, as people tend to compensate at future meals. But you’re not doing this to lose weight, remember? The point here is that eating high-volume foods may be valuable for you if you have trouble stopping without a full-belly feeling.
 
You can increase the volume of food without significantly increasing calories by concentrating on foods with high water content, like vegetables, fruits, soups, casseroles, and stews, as opposed to more energy-dense foods like candies, cookies, and chips.
 
Bringing It All Together
 
Now that you’ve explored what hunger and fullness feel like to you, it’s time to throw out the sample scale and make your own. Fill in the blanks using your own experience!
 
 
Hunger and Fullness Scale
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
 
 
Choosing Foods and Amounts
 
How do you know what’s the best level of hunger to respond to? Only you can determine what’s comfortable. For me, on a normal workday, that’s about a 4. Dipping into a 3 is also fairly common for me, but I try to catch myself before I fully settle there. Sometimes I can’t always recognize stage 3 before I get there, particularly if I’m distracted. That’s why I always keep snack items around so I have food immediately available before moodiness sets in. Having snacks around also helps ensure that I get the food I want. If I get too hungry, I’m more likely to eat whatever is around. And in our culture, if you’re not prepared, that usually means your options won’t be very nutritious or satisfying.
 
And what is the best level of fullness? Again, only you can determine that. For me, it’s very context-dependent. I notice that during the workweek, I’m most energized and productive if I don’t get beyond a 5. So I fall into the routine of eating small meals spread frequently throughout the day and have a fairly small range of hunger/fullness. I couldn’t function well on the frequently recommended pattern of three meals a day. Eating enough to carry me through long meal intervals leaves me lethargic.
 
 
WARNING!
 
If you’re accustomed to a diet mentality, you may be tempted to morph this into another diet—one in which you follow a “must be physically hungry” rule. Resist the temptation. Use the information in this chapter to help you identify your body’s needs and what else you might be hungry for.
 
There’s no reason to be rigid. Occasionally eating for reasons other than hunger is a normal and healthy aspect of being human. That your choices are conscious is more important.
 
 
 
Guideline 4: Tackle Emotional Eating
 
What many people view as an eating problem they need to control is, as discussed in chapter 2, actually an emotional problem. The larger issue that underlies this drive to eat is related to caretaking. If you can get your emotional needs met in appropriate ways, your drive to eat for emotional hunger disappears. Here’s my six-step plan to help you get there. Be patient and gentle with yourself as you move through them.
 
1. Thank your appetite.
 
For decades now, you’ve been eating for reasons other than hunger. Take a moment to show your appreciation for the help you’ve received from that drive to eat. Acknowledge the importance of taking care of yourself and that without food or another similar technique, life might have become so overwhelming you might have fallen apart. Recognize that your drive to eat has been a good thing. It alerted you to the fact that you had needs that weren’t being met and led you to where you are today—a place where you can finally take care of yourself.
 
2. Question yourself before you eat.
 
Before you tear open that bag of cookies, ask yourself: “What am I really looking for here?” and “What would it take to satisfy this need?” So, for instance, if the answer to that question is that you really need to tell your mother that you’re angry with her, how else could you meet that need besides eating? Maybe writing her a letter (even if you never intend to give it to her)? Would walking briskly around the block help? How about taking your anger out on a punching bag?
 
Say you’re about to unwrap a candy bar because you’re bored and frustrated having to wait for an appointment. Maybe you could catch up on paying the bills in your purse? Or call a friend and chat (quietly) while waiting? Or read a book? Maybe you could simply tell the person you’re waiting for that your time is valuable, and you’re not going to wait more than another five minutes.
 
3. Sit quietly.
 
Next time you find yourself reaching for food in the absence of hunger, go into another room and sit quietly. Let the feelings you’re experiencing wash over you. Try to name the feeling you’re having. Can’t put it into words? Pick from the following list:
 
Note one word that is conspicuously absent: “fat.” Fat is not a feeling! Also absent are “good” and “bad.” These are all judgments about feelings, but feelings just
are
. If these words come to mind, back up and try to get at the feeling behind the judgment.
 
Pay attention to how you feel physically and where in your body the emotions reside. Don’t try to change the feeling, just feel it. Does it evoke any memories or associations? Particular conversations? Try to tolerate the feeling for as long as you can, even if only for a minute, and see what you can learn. Many times simply acknowledging feelings removes some of their intensity.
 
Be sure to take
all
your emotions seriously, treating boredom with the same curiosity you would sadness. Even feeling bored can provide important information about who you are.
 
Check out this life-changing experience of one HAES study participant. She was a data entry operator, sitting all day entering information into computer programs. While she worked, at lunch, and when she got home, she ate and ate. But she didn’t know why. When I asked her to sit quietly and feel the emotion that led her to the refrigerator, she realized she was eating to distract herself from the boredom in her life and job. When she actually
felt
the boredom, she realized it was intolerable. With this understanding, she quit her job, returned to school, and is training for a more fulfilling career.
 
When you experience your emotions, rather than numbing them with food, you can realize that you have a choice. You can continue with what is familiar and boring or you can make a change, perhaps by returning to school or looking for a new job. If you don’t experience the boredom, you resign yourself to a vague dissatisfaction that may stay with you forever—and the continual drive to binge.
 
It may be that you can’t quite figure out what’s going on for you. That’s okay. Be patient and try to stay with the feeling that washes over you anyway. Sometimes just allowing yourself to feel is enough.
 
4. Feel those emotions.
 
If you’ve identified the emotion(s) in your mind, try to experience them rather than drowning them in food the next time they hit. Some things I recommend include:
• Writing in a journal
• Talking with friends
• Releasing your emotions physically, such as punching a pillow, running, crying, or screaming
• Talking to a psychotherapist
 
Having unsettling feelings doesn’t mean that you need to do something. You may just need to sit with them until you can figure out how to resolve them. An important part of the healing is being able to tolerate the discomfort, rather than distracting yourself from it with food.
 
5. Take care of the most important person in your life: you.
 
Pick at least one activity from the following list and
do it
:
• Take a bath, or sit in the sauna or hot tub.
• Play with your pet.
• Buy yourself presents (retail therapy!).
• Pick up some fresh flowers.
• Spritz yourself with perfume or burn some incense.
• Garden.
• Curl up with a blanket and a good book or your journal.
• Build a fire and sit before it, watching the flames dance and thinking about how warm and protected fires make you feel.
• Get a manicure or pedicure.
• Watch reruns of your favorite sitcom.
• Read a trashy magazine or novel.
• Work on a crossword puzzle, jigsaw puzzle, or sudoku.
• Play a computer game.
• Take yourself to the movies.
• Rent and watch a favorite movie.
• Call a friend.
• Take a drive.
• Clean out a closet or drawer (amazingly invigorating!).
• Take a nap.
• Listen to relaxing music.
• Breathe/meditate.
• Play a game with a friend or your kids.
• Go for a walk or bike ride.
• Put on some great music and dance around the living room.
• Go for a massage.
• Enjoy a hobby: knitting, scrapbooking, and needlepoint are examples of fun options.
 
We get lazy about finding pleasure as we get older. This realization became clear to me during a party I recently attended. Adults and kids alike were indulging in ice cream. Ice cream is high on the list of my son’s favorite foods. But when his friend arrived and invited him into the pool, my son forgot about his half-eaten ice cream and jumped in. The food was no longer interesting because he had another source of pleasure. The adults, on the other hand, vied for his half-eaten leftovers.
 
Food is a wonderful source of pleasure—but it will get you into trouble if it’s the
only
source of pleasure you have in your life. Finding enjoyment elsewhere allows food to fulfill its primary role as a source of nourishment, while still providing you with joy and fun.

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