Authors: Donna Alward
The photographer wanted pictures of only the maid of honor and best man, and he had chosen the shade of a poplar tree for the shot. Noah leaned lightly against the trunk while Lily rested against his right shoulder, disguising his pinned-up sleeve. She hesitated as his mouth twisted in a grimace, but he quickly gave her an encouraging smile. “It’s fine,” he murmured, settling her back against the hard length of his body. Noah’s left arm looped around her, and in a stroke of ingenuity the photographer had him hold Lily’s flowers loosely while she crossed her right hand to rest on his wrist.
“You smell good,” he whispered, making her smile.
“It’s the sweet peas,” she replied, holding the pose for the shot.
“No lilies, Lily?”
“No, thank God. I can’t imagine what my mother was thinking when she named me.”
“Beautiful, exotic, sweet.”
Lily’s pulse leaped at the softly whispered words. She couldn’t see his face as they held their positions. “Mr. Laramie, I do believe you’re flirting.”
“You might be right, Miss Germaine.”
This was better, Lily thought. Even if her feelings for him
were the real deal, what was important was that she didn’t act on them. No grand declarations of love or expectations of commitment. A firm belief that this was only temporary. Yes, that was the ticket. The more she thought about it the more sure she was. She could give herself permission to feel. It was human after all, and she wasn’t callous or bitter. She simply had made decisions about what she wanted from life. And she had to remember that Noah hadn’t said a word about loving
her
. The worries were for nothing.
“Lily? He’s asked us to move.”
“Oh, right, sorry.” She took the bouquet from his hands and smiled brightly. “Are we done here yet? I could use something to drink.”
“I’ll find out. Two seconds.”
He strode back across the lawn toward her. He’d removed his tuxedo jacket and had hooked the collar by a finger, holding it over his shoulder. Lily wet her lips. “Well?”
“We’re free to go. Andrew and Jen will be taking the carriage over to the reception. We can take my truck.”
“Sounds good to me.”
She followed him to the parking lot and gathered her skirt around her as she got up into the cab. Just before he shut the door, he chuckled. “Nice shoes. They’re not actually glass slippers, are they?”
Lily flushed. She might not like pink, but she’d been unable to resist the shoes. They were slides, with a transparent band across the top of her foot adorned with a satin ribbon, and a transparent two-inch heel. She knew they were ultrafeminine and fanciful. But she’d adored them the moment she’d slipped them on. “Of course not.”
Noah went around to the driver’s side door and hopped in. “Okay, Cinderella, let’s get you to the ball,” he remarked drily, starting the truck and putting it in reverse.
Lily stared out the window to hide her flaming cheeks, somehow feeling she was riding in a pumpkin after all.
The toasts had been made, the cake cut, and the deejay was playing music quietly until it was time for the first dance to be announced. Lily freshened her makeup and came out of the bathroom to find Noah and his mother, Julie Reid, in a corner, speaking quietly. Lily paused, retreated to where she wouldn’t intrude. And yet she wanted to be close by. She recognized the tight set of his jaw and the way his skin seemed taut across his cheekbones as he kept his countenance polite. The words they said were too low to be heard, and she didn’t want to eavesdrop. She just wanted to be there.
Julie put her hand on Noah’s sleeve but he didn’t move to take it. Nor did he pull away. Sympathy flooded through her. Imagine meeting a parent for the first time in over twenty years, and doing it publicly. How would she have reacted if Jasmine had shown up tonight?
But then her lips fell open as Noah smiled at his mother. Not a big smile, but a definite pleasant curving of his lips. She put back her shoulders, pasted on a smile of her own and stepped forward.
“There you are!” She went up to his side and took his hand, giving his fingers a reassuring squeeze. “The dancing is about to start.”
“Lily.” His smile got bigger as he said her name. “Lily, this is my mother, Julie Reid.” He paused, seemed to struggle for a moment and then simply said, “This is Lily, Jen’s maid of honor.”
“Hello,” the woman said, her smile faltering as she looked a long way up at her son.
“Please excuse us,” Noah said politely, nodding at Julie before taking Lily’s hand and going back to the reception room.
“How did it go?”
Noah surveyed the room blandly. “Fine, I guess. We’re strangers, Lily. We both know it. It wasn’t as difficult as you might think. I’m glad she came, to be honest. It’s been good for Andrew. Maybe good for me, too.”
The deejay announced the first dance and Lily and Noah halted by the cake table, watching Jen and Andrew take the floor, their permanent smiles still bright on their faces, eyes only for each other.
The bridal couple had chosen to forgo a traditional parent dance for the second song, instead making it a blend of couples: Andrew with Mrs. O’Keefe, Jen with her father, and Noah and Lily.
“This is it,” Noah said, but Lily heard the tension in his voice. The memory of last night came to her, fresh and beautiful as they walked to the dance floor together. Noah took her hand in his but his body remained stiff. Lily swallowed and stepped a breath closer. “Noah,” she whispered.
“What?” He looked down at her, a spare, cold glance that told her how difficult this was for him despite their practice run. Or maybe because of it.
“Dance with me, Noah.” She slipped her hand onto his waist and held his gaze. She could feel the warmth of his skin through his crisp shirt and white vest.
His feet began to move and hers followed, her eyes never leaving his. She could tell the moment he started to relax, the moment his hand softened in hers and his rigid posture settled beneath her fingers.
“Thank you for all you’ve done, Lily.”
“I promised, didn’t I?”
He smiled a tiny smile. “Yes, you did.”
“And I never go back on a promise, remember?”
He moved their joined hands and touched her cheek with a fingertip. “I remember. Even when I tried to force you to.”
“Yes well, you should be glad you didn’t succeed. I mean, you’d be left without a dancing partner tonight.”
“I’d be left without a friend, as well. Even if she is wearing pink.”
“How very cruel of you to bring that up, Mr. Laramie,” she coquetted.
“I don’t know what your issue is with pink, after all. It suits you.”
“It goes back to something my mother said once.”
Several beats of music passed. “Are you going to enlighten me?” He angled his head, regarding her curiously. “Surely you’re not going to leave it at that.”
Lily remembered the moment quite clearly. When she’d been crying in the hotel room and Jasmine had been helping her out of the gown. “
Really Lily
,” her mother had said disparagingly. “
White? You had to go for white? Pink suits you so much better. White is so predictable
.”
It had hurt her terribly at the time, as if she cared about a dress when all her plans were being washed away like a dirty secret.
“Lil?” His voice was soft now, and she realized there were two tears on her cheeks. Mortified, she sniffed, taking her hand from his back for a moment to hurriedly wipe them away.
“Don’t say anything, please,” she begged quietly. “Smile and dance. That’s all I want from you.”
When the song was over, Lily took her hand from his and walked away.
L
ILY TOOK SEVERAL DEEP
breaths to regain her composure. She’d fought hard against the memories today, but there were times that they sneaked around her defenses so easily. The smell of the flowers, or the step onto the carpet runner. As much as she had told herself she was over it and it didn’t matter, she still bore the scars of that awful day.
But she couldn’t leave yet, not when there were still traditions to be upheld. The bouquet had yet to be thrown and several more minutes of dancing before the bride and groom would sneak off for a very brief honeymoon. It would be bad form for the maid of honor to leave before the bride and groom. Besides, what explanation could she give? Certainly not that the whole day was a reminder of broken dreams and crushed hopes. And definitely not that her feelings for the best man were getting in the way. The last thing she wanted was for Jen or Andrew to put their hopes in that direction.
Guests now took the floor as the music changed to something with a solid dance beat, and Lily went to the punch bowl, pouring herself a plastic cup of the sweet pink drink to keep her hands occupied. It only took seconds for Noah to be at her side again.
“What just happened?”
She took a sip and focused on the line of dancers on the floor. If she looked at him now he’d know that it was him affecting her. She hadn’t quite spoken the truth when she said a dance was all she wanted from him. And yet she was sure she didn’t want more than that, either.
The plain truth was that when she was with Noah she didn’t know
what
she wanted.
“Nothing.”
“Lily.”
His hand stopped the progress of her cup and she looked up at him in annoyance as the punch sloshed close to the rim. Sometimes she liked him a whole lot better when he wasn’t so clued in. She sighed. “Just let it go, Noah. It doesn’t matter.”
Noah released her wrist, but didn’t move away from her. He’d promised to stick by her side during the wedding, knowing she wasn’t looking forward to it any more than he was. But this went beyond a simple promise.
He swallowed, looked down at her profile. She was so beautiful. She’d done something curly and wispy to her hair, tiny pearls shimmering from within the dark strands. Her skin glowed next to the pale pink of the gown, begging to be touched. He reached out and touched her bare shoulder, craving the sight of her eyes locked on his. He wasn’t disappointed. At the moment his fingertips grazed her soft skin, her head turned and her gaze clashed with his.
He let his finger trail over her shoulder and down her arm, the touch so light it skimmed over her skin like a soft breath. “What are you doing?” She whispered it and he barely caught the words, but he saw them form on her lips and he smiled.
Seducing you
, he thought suddenly, smiling. It sounded ridiculous. They had kissed last night, and today he’d touched her as it had been required. But seduction was something different. Seduction demanded a conclusion. And he knew that
was out of the question. No, he wouldn’t seduce her, wouldn’t let it go too far. There was too much undecided in his life to complicate things further. Too many decisions he was putting off making, weighing him down. But he couldn’t seem to stop the simple caress, either.
“I’m touching you. Do you want me to stop?”
“I…”
Her hesitation did wonders for his confidence. He didn’t want her to see what was beneath the surface, but knowing that he had the power to make her lose her words, the power to make her sigh into his mouth as they’d kissed…She had run out of his house last night and he’d thought it was because he had gone too far. That he had repulsed her as she’d touched his arm. But now, he saw the top of the strapless bodice of her dress rise and fall with the force of her breath and he knew she was feeling it as strongly as he was.
But they were here, in the Larch Valley Community Center with his brother and new sister-in-law and old friends and his mother in attendance. He scanned the crowd. He saw old schoolmates and local business owners, like Jim Barnes, who still owned Papa’s Pizza, and Agnes Dodds, who’d rapped his fingers with a ruler in elementary school and now ran the local antique store. This was no place to broadcast that he lusted after the maid of honor. No, not lusted. Lusted was too superficial, and there was more to Lily than that.
She moved one single finger against his as his hand trailed past her wrist. A brushing of contact that somehow said
no, don’t stop
. That said she was feeling it, too.
And for once Noah didn’t want to think about the mistakes he’d made, or if his recovery was on schedule, or what choices he’d have to make about how to serve his country. For once he wanted to live in the moment. To think only about the gorgeous woman whose hand was twined with his and whose
eyelashes now lay demurely against her cheeks as she avoided looking at him.
“Can I take you home?”
His question was rewarded by her lifting her head, giving him a glimpse of the piercing blue of her irises. “We can’t leave yet.”
He took a step backward. Perhaps he’d misread.
“But I’d like that. Later.”
She smiled up at him, sweetly, and without the edge he was used to seeing. It hit him in the gut with the force of a punch. Noah nodded. “Let me know when you’re ready.”
To be in each other’s pockets now would be too obvious. For one, he was already having a difficult time not touching her. They had to mingle, speak to others rather than gazing into each other’s eyes the entire time. He checked his watch. “I’m going to go talk to Clay for a bit,” he said to her, finally letting her fingers go. “Enjoy yourself.”
He forced himself to leave her there, walking over to where Clay stood at the side of the floor. Talking to him about looking after Lazy L in Andrew’s absence wasn’t nearly as interesting as spending time with Lily.
But it was the right thing to do.
Once Jen and Andrew had thrown the bouquet and garter and escaped under a shower of rice, Lily made herself busy at the head table, packing wineglasses into a padded box.
“What are you doing?”
She jumped at the sound of his voice, especially when she’d just been thinking of him again. The way he’d touched her earlier had nearly sent her up in flames. Now he was right behind her, so close she could feel the warmth of his body, and her fingers shook as she placed the last of the special wedding glasses in the tissue.
She took a breath and closed the box. “The bride and groom glasses. Jen asked if I’d pick them up.”
“Then are you ready to go?”
She bit down on her lip. She shouldn’t accept the drive home. Anyone here would give her a lift. She was getting far too involved with Noah.
But as she looked up into his strong, handsome face, she knew it didn’t matter. It was Noah that she wanted to be with. It was Noah’s humor and understanding that had made today bearable.
And it was Noah she trusted.
“Yes, I’m ready.”
There were no more options, no more diversions or prevarications. Lily was going with him. And she was still unsure of what she wanted the night to bring.
They resumed walking, out the double doors to the parking lot. The sound of the dance beat a steady rhythm behind them, a muted thump that seemed incongruous in the otherwise quiet night. It was the time of day Lily loved best, when the light hadn’t quite faded from the sky, leaving it a swirl of indigo and lavender and peach, and the first stars poked through the curtain of falling darkness. Their steps slowed as they walked to Noah’s truck, making crunching sounds on the gravel.
Conversation would have felt out of place. Noah opened her door and held the box of crystal while she got in. What was between them now was too fragile, too tenuous to spoil with conversation. She had needed him today. She’d needed his steady presence; she’d needed the distraction he provided.
She still needed it.
Noah got in, started the engine and made the short drive to her town house.
As he idled the truck on the street, she knew she didn’t want to go in alone. She didn’t want to go upstairs and remove her bridesmaid gown with an empty house and a head full of
memories for company. She didn’t want to face the postwedding letdown that already felt hollow in her heart. Somewhere along the way she’d started needing him. She’d started trusting him. And the simple truth was that there was no one else she wanted to spend time with tonight. She wanted to be with him, not because he kept her mind off other things, but because the air felt a little bit colder when he wasn’t around to warm it. Because he’d touched her in ways she hadn’t been touched in a very long time and she wasn’t ready for it to end yet.
“Do you want to come in? I can put on some coffee.”
She looked over at him, his features highlighted by the colored lights of the dashboard. The tie that had been so precisely knotted earlier was loosened and at a crooked angle against the crisp collar of his shirt. The tuxedo jacket buttons were undone, the inky-black material flowing away from his body as he put the truck in Park. A memory flashed through her mind, of Noah coming out of the change room, looking slightly rumpled. But that image had nothing on the deliciousness of the real thing before her now.
She wasn’t prepared to want him this much.
The moment held, tethering them together by some invisible force, until his eyes warmed and he replied, “I’d like that.”
The house was dark as Lily fumbled with the keys, unlocking the front door. Once inside, she went to the kitchen, turning on the under-the-counter lighting. Noah followed behind, looking tall and elegantly gorgeous in his tuxedo. Lily’s hands shook as she prepared the coffeemaker and flipped the switch. Nerves fluttered through her stomach, over her skin, making her doubt the wisdom of inviting him in. She didn’t want to be alone, but being alone with Noah was dangerous, too. This was going further than the physical attraction that kept demanding to be acknowledged. She wanted more. But how much more? Everything? The very thought
made her drop the spoon from her hand. In all these years, she’d never been faced with this choice.
She picked up the spoon again and got out the sugar bowl. Maybe it was just the wedding. If she could only convince herself of that! Weddings made people crazy, isn’t that what everyone said? She had to break the wedding day spell. The first step would be getting out of the pale pink gown.
“If you don’t mind, I’d like to change.”
Noah took a step forward, his body blocking her passage. “What if I do mind?”
She swallowed. Tried to be annoyed that he’d stopped her, but a delicious shiver feathered over her, simply in an elemental response to his nearness.
Another step, and he reached out his hand, placing it over the smooth fabric covering her ribs, down over her waist. “You look beautiful.”
“Noah…”
But he wasn’t deterred, not by the gurgle of the coffee brewing or by her weak protest. His right foot joined his left, leaving only a breath between them. “Beautiful. Like strawberry ice cream.” His hand moved up, his finger tracing along the fine stitching and pink crystals at the top of the bodice.
She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think.
His mouth descended, toying with hers. “Soft.” His kiss was barely a glance on her lips. “And sweet.” And his tongue touched her bottom lip, tasting.
She had no defense against his gentle persuasion. Her hand twined with his hair as she drew his head down, kissing him fully, tasting the sweetness of champagne and cake, the tartness of punch and the seductive flavor that was simply Noah.
The passion rose so quickly between them it pulled her breath out of her lungs. His body pressed her backward so that she was bolstered by the kitchen counter, and his hand
braced on the granite edge. And still the kiss went on, Lily’s head tilted back so that the tips of her hair touched the satin back of her dress. Noah’s lips slid from hers and down the column of her neck, gentling as he tasted the skin there before moving back up and pulling her earlobe into his mouth.
It drew a quiet moan from her, and they paused as the sound echoed through the kitchen. And in that soft, prolonged moment, everything caught up with her. This was too much, too fast, too everything. They had to stop. It would only end in heartache, and the ache would be hers.
She let go of the resolve that had held her together throughout the day and everything came flooding back. The chapel in Las Vegas, Curtis, their parents, the hope crushed. And in that moment, she started to cry. Quiet, heartbreaking tears. All she’d ever wanted was a place to belong. A home. And she’d thought she’d found it in Larch Valley.
But Noah had changed that. He’d changed
everything
. The satisfaction she’d built into her life here was no longer enough. And he was offering her no more than a few kisses. It was all he
had
to offer.
“Lily…” His voice was tortured, pulling her close to him. “Lily, don’t cry. You
never
cry.”
His hand was on the back of her head, tucking her against his shirt that smelled of starch and cologne. No, she never cried. She was always upbeat Lily, who hid those hurts inside. She was tired of being that person. When had she last been able to truly be herself? When was the last time she’d let someone see who she really was?
“What is it?” He whispered the question in her ear, sending shivers down her spine as his breath warmed her hair. “Tell me.”
Lily sighed against his shirtfront. How could she possibly explain to him how she had come to care so deeply, in such
a short time? That being with him had thrown the rest of her world into flux. “I don’t know if I can.”
“Does it have something to do with the dress you had on that day?”
“I should have known you’d remember,” she whispered, blinking against a new onslaught of tears. She hadn’t wanted to tell him about Curtis, but it was far better to do that than probe her feelings for him out loud. “When you saw it and thought it was Jen’s…”
“But it wasn’t.” He rested his chin on the top of her head, the pressure comforting. “I knew when I saw Jen step onto that runner today. Was it yours?”