“Twenty-two,” he counted. He thumped her three more times and paused. “Your ass is beautiful and rosy now. What’s your safe word?” he questioned.
“It’s sugar, Sir,” she choked out.
“Very good. Use it if you need to. Open your legs.”
Pam complied, her tail now on fire.
Jared pressed his thumb against her puckered hole and slid two fingers to her pussy. “Soaked,” he said with infinite satisfaction. “You like this more than you’re letting on.”
He chuckled at her groan of mortification. This enraged her past all reason, considering he had placed her in this helpless position. Pamela lunged for his thigh, her teeth bared for a juicy bite. Jared caught her in time, shifting her a few inches farther down until her head hung nearer to the floor. He pressed one powerful arm down on the middle of her back and clamped the other around her thighs.
“Ten more added,” he said, sounding a little out of breath. “Jesus, Pam. You really need to be tied up. But first I’m going to paddle your ass but good.”
Pam flailed her arms around and kicked out her legs, wanting nothing more at that moment than to make his life as miserable as possible. Jared allowed her to vent her rage, and too late, she caught on to his game. Soon she was too winded and tangled up in her long hair to do much beyond grumble and pant.
The spanking resumed, the slaps now coming down with relentless speed. How to escape this humiliation? She could use her safe word. No. Too pathetic. She would never recover her self-respect. Perhaps if she squeezed out a couple of crocodile tears, he’d give in. Hell, no. Too manipulative. Her sense of fair play wouldn’t allow it. The options were not only limited but distasteful.
Except one. Submit.
Acknowledging she’d lost this particular battle, Pam yielded to him. An inferno spread across her ass, but it no longer stung. The all-consuming heat felt good now, and she emptied her mind to focus on the growing sensations.
Had the feelings become overwhelming as Jared had mentioned? Yes. But she didn’t want them to stop. She didn’t want
him
to stop. Closing her eyes, she relaxed under his firm hands, and soon, the sharp cracks reached her ears as if from a great distance. Soft mists trailed around her body, inviting her to sink into restful oblivion.
But no. She wanted to remain with Jared. Needed to. He was the reason she felt such euphoria. Pam fought against the irresistible pull, yet she continued descending into the quiet, murky depths.
“Please, let me stay with him,” she tried saying aloud—however, the words of supplication couldn’t seem to reach her lips.
Then, all of a sudden, a deep contentment flooded through her. There was no need to fight or worry. Jared wouldn’t let her go.
With him, she was safe.
Chapter Four
The thuds of erotic discipline stopped. Now she was floating in midair, supported by something warm and solid. Burrowing into its wonderfulness, she heard herself murmur something inarticulate. A deep hum reached her from the mists. Recognizing the voice, she spoke, “Jared?”
He pressed gentle lips against her temple. “Yes, it’s me, Pam.”
She tried opening her lids, but they had heavy weights on them. “So sleepy. Give me…minute. Sorry. Don’t be mad.”
Strong arms surrounded her. “Don’t be sorry, my love. Take your time. I’m right here holding you…keeping you safe.”
His soft voice was so reassuring she let the mists envelop her.
Pam roused, belly to belly with her lover. She lay sprawled on top of him, her head resting on his chest. He moved one hand up and down her back in a slow caress while sliding the other over her butt, stroking the sensitive skin.
She peeped up at Jared, who now looked remarkably tranquil. This seemed odd, assuming how pissed he must be at her for giving him such a hard time. “Hi,” she ventured.
“Hi, yourself,” he replied. The soft lighting enhanced his chiseled features, and she couldn’t help ogling him. “How do you feel?”
“Relaxed.” Both hands were now rubbing her tush. It felt surprisingly okay, considering its recent treatment. She jerked up, remembering. “Hold on. Did I pass out?” She couldn’t recall how they’d gotten back into his bed.
Jared shook his head. “No. You’ve been conscious all along…just a little out of it.”
Pam moved up Jared’s torso in alarm. “Out of it? What do you mean?”
Jared bumped foreheads with her, going eyeball to eyeball.
Pam glared into his orbs; then her eyes watered and lost focus. She scooted onto the mattress and sat on her haunches. Pressing the heels of her hands to the sockets, she rubbed. “Please tell me what happened.”
Jared plucked her hands away from her sore eyes. He kissed each eyelid before answering. “You entered into something called subspace while I spanked you.”
She made a face. “Sounds like some science fiction-y nonsense.”
Jared grinned. “I know. In BDSM, subspace is an altered state of consciousness entered by some subs during intense scenes. The body releases chemicals such as epinephrine in order to combat pain during activities like a spanking or caning. At the same time, endorphins flood the system in response to a partner fulfilling a deep, emotional need, such as being dominated or restrained.”
“Wow.” Pam nibbled on a fingernail. “Is that response normal?”
Jared nodded. “Yes. It’s a natural reaction when a submissive connects with the right Dominant. Subspace is a state of euphoria often compared to ones experienced by extreme athletes, adventurers…”
“And sought after by addicts, I bet,” she added.
“Yes,” Jared agreed, looking impressed. He continued. “Simply put, your system flooded with pain-pleasure chemicals and went on overload. It’s not at all unusual, but I must say, your reaction to my discipline was quite extraordinary. Anyone who responds so beautifully has an inherent need to submit.”
“Well, um,” Pamela uttered, her fingers at her throat. “I didn’t feel any pain after a while.” She considered this for a moment. “Jared,” she exclaimed, “how can I use my safe word if I’m so out of it?”
“Good question,” he answered. “You can’t. It’s up to the Dom to observe all his sub’s reactions. The instant I realized you had entered subspace, I ended the scene. You were no longer capable of telling me when you had reached your limit.”
“I remember feeling floaty and calm,” she said.
He folded his arms behind his head. “You were flying high and helpless as a newborn kitten. When I saw this, I immediately moved into aftercare. It’s a Dominant’s responsibility to make you feel warm, comfortable, and safe until you regain your full faculties.”
“Both mental and physical, right?” At his nod, she covered her face. “Oh, God, Jared. You carried me here, didn’t you?”
He pulled her hands away from her face. “Indeed I did. Easy as could be.” He frowned. “I don’t know where you get the body issues from, Pam. You’re womanly and desirable.” He reached down and cupped her rounded bottom. “I’m especially fond of your ass at present.”
Pam huffed with indignation. “I bet. You sure got real intimate with it.” She placed her hand over the one touching her booty. “Wait. Why don’t I feel any pain?” She stopped. “Hold on. Let me rephrase that. There’s a slight burning and some sensitivity. But no real pain.” She shuddered. “I think I would hate that anyway.”
Jared’s countenance turned serious. “I would never let it get to that point. I’m not judging others who take more risks, but extreme anything is not my thing. Nor is it yours, I think.”
“No, it’s not,” she agreed, feeling relieved.
He gave her a wicked smile. “Want another reason why your luscious rump remains in such fine shape? I massaged a healing cream into it while you were…indisposed. It was very stimulating, I must say.”
Pam looked at him askance. “I’m sure it was, you perv.”
Jared’s eyes twinkled. “I was talking about you, cupcake. You moaned the entire time I rubbed it in. You’re a kinky little wench.”
Pam leaped on him without warning. It was no contest, especially after she dissolved into a fit of giggles at his shocked expression. As soon as Jared had her pinned under him, she relaxed against the sheets. Lifting her legs, she scraped the sharp edges of her heels over the backs of his thighs.
“Not only kinky, but bloodthirsty too,” he muttered.
Sighing, Pamela wrapped her arms around his neck, yanked him down for a kiss, and wound her legs around his waist. Jared pulled back a little, dislodging her arm from his neck. “Hold on a minute there, sweetheart.”
Pam froze and stared up at him, her heart plummeting at his chiding tone. Biting her lips, she squeezed her eyes shut and turned her face away.
God, this was too embarrassing. Jared was disgusted by her. He probably thought she was too demanding. Maybe he believed she was a slut now that she had given in. There were men who still thought like that. Bastards like her father…
But Jared was nothing like that! And so what if she wanted sex? There wasn’t anything wrong with wanting it, asking for it!
Was there? No!
Either way, how dare he humiliate her? Censure her?
“Pamela, look at me.” Jared’s voice was firm.
Not when there was an alarming, prickly feeling at the backs of her eyes. She’d been close to tears too many times tonight. “I can’t yet. Give me a minute.”
“No hiding!” he said in that steely voice. “Open them. Now.”
Pam’s eyes flew open and she turned to face him. Her throat tightened as Jared studied her with great concentration. She ached to know his thoughts, but his face remained impassive.
Finally, he spoke. “You think I’ve rejected you. Interesting. But totally untrue. We’re going to have to work on your confidence.”
“Well, how do you expect me to feel? I touched you and you brushed me off.”
Sighing, Jared leaned over and covered her face and neck with gentle kisses. Despite her anger, Pam felt her body softening.
Jared lifted his head. “You misunderstood me. I wanted to put things on pause for a moment. You just came out of subspace. I had to make sure you were ready.” He regarded her hotly. “Believe me, I’m more than willing to go at it again.” To make his point, he rubbed his hard length against her mound, then stopped at her tiny moan. “But remember, right now it’s all about you. And I have to give you what you really
need
. Not just what you want.”
She frowned at him, unwilling to be placated. “Nice sentiment. But I think I know what I want and need in bed.”
“I’m sure you do, at least some of the time.”
She snorted at his arrogance. “You don’t say? And I suppose you know my desires better than I do?”
He nodded. “I think I have a good idea, and given some time, I’ll discover them all. First by getting into your head.” He reached up to tap her temple. “Then by exploring your body.” He cupped her breast and her nipple tightened in response.
“I can tell you what I want,” she retorted, trying to ignore the pleasure of his touch. “I’m not a moron.”
“That you are not.” He smiled again, and she melted. Just a little. “Remember, though, like any Dom, I want my sub to hand the control and decision-making over to me, be it the number of your orgasms, or when and if you’re going to be restrained. It’s my duty—and my pleasure—to find out what you need first.”
She pouted. “That’s easy. I need sex.”
At this, Jared laughed. “You actually said it. Good for you.”
When she blushed and turned away, his tone changed again. “Pam.”
She forced herself to make eye contact with him. “Yes?”
Jared was observing her closer now, and she noticed a slight frown forming between his brows. “Let me begin by saying that I’m beyond flattered that you chose me to be your first lover. But I’m very curious about something. I’m convinced you have a strong sex drive. So how did you ever manage your urges? I’m sure you had your share of offers. So why did you wait so long to take care of your needs?”
Her gut twisted. “Because men are pieces of shit who use women for sex and then take off as soon as they get what they want.” She stopped, stunned at the nasty word vomit that flew out of her mouth.
Damn him for making her say it.
Fuming, Pam tried pushing Jared off, but he rolled over until she lay on top of him. Though he retained a firm grip, she detected a gentling in his features.
He reached up and brushed the hair out of her eyes, then tucked it behind her ears. “Bitter words from a sweet woman,” he murmured thoughtfully. “You never mentioned a broken heart. Who hurt you?”
“You know very well I’ve had boyfriends but no one really special. Do you think I lied?”
Jared shook his head. “No, I believe you, all right. Those are your mother’s words, I think.”
She reared back a bit, annoyed. What was he now, a shrink? “You know nothing about my mother,” she retorted. “So she’s a little quirky. And who are you to judge her anyway?”
He kissed her nose. “Oh, I’m not judging her. I think Birkenstocks and caftans are sort of cool. And I have to hand it to her—it takes a lot of courage to stay true to your bra-burning doctrines when you’re sixty-five.”
She cast the evil eye on him. “My mother goes braless when you visit because she’s trying to make a point.”
His mouth twitched. “Which is?”
She sniffed in indignation. “I refuse to continue this conversation. You purposely try to bait her with your snarky political comments.”
He grinned without remorse. “She does turn a lovely shade of fuchsia when we go at it, doesn’t she?”
“Well, it certainly doesn’t endear you to her. She likes gentle, sweet men.”
Jared grunted in derision. “Pushovers, you mean. She gets her shots in too. Quite often. Problem is, she’d prefer that I smile and just take whatever she dishes out without getting in a few licks. Would it make me a better man in your eyes if I backed down to appease her?”
“I didn’t say that. But now that you mention it, you could let stuff slide sometimes. Mom is a bit militant, I’ll grant you that, but you can be the bigger one and try to suck it up now and then. Life is not some big competition. You don’t always have to win.”
He stared down at her, his surprise almost comical. “Says who? Sure as hell, it wasn’t a man who spouted that bullshit.”