His Ever After (Love Square) (11 page)

I’m not at all satisfied with that answer. Kara doesn’t keep me waiting for more information for too long before she drops a huge bomb on me that rocks my world.

“She needed professional help, Jacob. There was nothing you or I could have done. Once she chose to stop taking her meds, it was only a matter of time before it got out of control. I tried to convince –”

“Wait. What? What meds? You aren’t making any sense.” I shake my head, one plus one does not equal two right now.

“Brooke was bipolar. Didn’t you know?” Kara sits back in her chair and cocks her head to the side, looking confused.

“Fuck no, I didn’t know. What the hell?” My voice starts to rise along with my level of irritation.

“She was diagnosed as a teenager. Once the doctors got her on a good balance of medications, she did well. Every now and then she would decide she didn’t need them. And whenever that happened, she ended up struggling. Why do you think I cut her as much slack as I did? It’s a common problem with people suffering from bipolar disorder.”

“I had no fucking idea. She never said one word about it. And as long as she lived here, she never had any prescriptions lying around either.
Fuck!
She’s been off her meds since at least November!
Jesus Christ!
Why didn’t anyone say anything?” I explode. My chair flies back when I abruptly stand up.

“I thought you knew. I’m so, so sorry. I’ve been trying for months to convince her she needed to go to the doctor’s and get put back on them. Oh my god. This is crazy. I can’t believe you didn’t know!” Kara stands now too.

“Her fucking parents should have told me after the miscarriage. That’s why they wanted her to move home. And instead of doing what was right, they left her to fend on her own.
Son of a bitch!
” I’m losing it. My body is consumed with rage. I feel like tearing through the god damned room and destroying it.

“I needed the right tools to help her and they kept the most important one from me, the damned truth!” The mug on the table finds itself flying through the air, crashing into the wall. Little ceramic pieces and tea litter the kitchen. I officially feel like David Banner when he turns into the Incredible Hulk – completely out of control. I wouldn’t be surprised if my muscles are bulging, my veins popping and my clothes start ripping apart.

“Jacob. Please sit down. You’re starting to scare me.” Kara grabs my arm, but I yank it away from her.

“I can’t sit down. All I want to do is go pound some sense into her self-righteous, prick of a father.” My voice is louder now, reverberating throughout the apartment.

“Listen to me. Brooke was unwell. She needed to want to help herself. She was an adult. All we could do was try and help her.” Her hands rest on each side of my neck. I look into her eyes and try counting in order to calm my riotous emotions.

One… two… three… four… I barely get to five when Kara’s thumbs start gently rubbing my jaw. My body is still tense, but I can slowly feel calm starting to settle over me. The storm inside me starts shifting aside, leaving me standing exposed to her.

“You don’t understand. I could have helped her. She would have listened to me.” At her skeptical look, I continue and let her see what a failure I am. “She would have. I know it. Deep down I fucking know it. Don’t you see, I failed her.”

Kara shakes her head at me. “No. We all did. You can’t take this all on your shoulders. It isn’t healthy and it’s not what Brooke would have wanted.”

When I open my mouth to argue, I find a humorless laugh coming from my lips instead.

“You have no idea what Brooke would have wanted. I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if she died hating my guts.” I try to pull away, but her hands tighten on my neck.

“What is that supposed to mean? She loved you.” Poor, sweet Kara looks so confused. She has no idea what a heartless, selfish fuckwad I am.

“I don’t want to get into it.” And I don’t. I never want her to know how big of an asshole I really am. Right now, she looks at me like I’m worthy of kindness. I want to keep it that way for the time being.

I pull away from her fully this time and walk down the hall to the room I’m staying in. Once I locate my keys, I walk back to the kitchen where Kara is finishing up with cleaning the mess I made with the broken mug. I pick up my shoes by the door and sit on the couch to put them on.

“I’m sorry that you had to clean that up. I know I said we’d grab lunch, but there’s somewhere I need to be,” I murmur as I lace up my sneakers.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay? I don’t want to leave you like this. You just found out a lot of information. I don’t want you to do anything crazy and get yourself in trouble,” she replies while dumping the last of the mess in the trash.

“Then I guess you’re coming along.” I give her one last look before heading for the door. She can choose to follow or not. It’s her call.

***

“You can’t be serious,” Kara says as we pull up to the Dugan’s Maryland home. It’s a palatial estate sitting on eight acres of land. The house is a three-story, tan bricked mansion with white trim and oversized windows across the length of it. The front entryway has large, white pillars that hold up the upper level balcony. Only a pretentious prick would buy this home for himself and his wife. It is way too much house for two people.

“Oh, I’m serious alright.” Turning off the engine, I turn towards her so she can see without a doubt that I mean business.

“Jacob. I’m begging you not to do this. Jeffery is a powerful man. He’ll make your life a living hell if he wants to. I’ve seen him do it enough times over the years.” She looks panicked. Her eyes are searching mine for what she hopes will be a rational decision. I’m far from rational though. “I talked to them yesterday. They are hurting and need to put the blame on someone. It’s easier to blame you than it is to blame the dead. You have a huge target on your back.”

“Do you think I give a shit about that? That fucker needs to hear what I have to say. And you need to give me that.”

When she sees I’m not going to budge, she finally capitulates to my request.

“Alright. Just promise me if things get out of hand, you’ll let me drag you out of there? And no crazy, male posturing either. Get in, state your point, and then get out! Got it?” Holy shit! Kara can be quite a demanding little thing when she wants to be. I like the take charge side of her.

“Deal. Let’s go.” I round the car and help her out before shutting the door behind her.

Walking up to the house, I shake my head at how ostentatious it is to own a home like this. It’s the sort of house you’d expect to find a professional athlete living in. Ridiculous.

Stepping up to the door, I ring the bell and wait for the housekeeper to answer. When she does, she turns wide, nervous eyes towards me. I can see her swallow before she motions for us to come in with her hand.

She quietly leads us into the study, where we wait in silence for a good ten minutes. Kara is sitting on the edge of a sofa with her leg bouncing up and down nervously. I wander the length of the shelves, looking at the different books they own.

Jeffery finally decides to grace us with his presence. When he shuts the door, the space instantly feels suffocating. His condescension and arrogance fills the large room.

“Didn’t know you were one for slumming, Kara. I always thought you had better taste than that,” he says with disdain.

“Do
not
talk to her like that. If you’ve got something rude to say, you can say it to me.” I take a step towards him, showing him that I’m not going to back down.

“Hmmm... Quite the big man I see. And what exactly do you hope to gain from this little show of invading my home? Isn’t it enough that you single-handedly destroyed my daughter?” He calmly asks while pouring himself a glass of scotch.

“You have a lot of nerve to sit there and accuse me of killing her all by myself. You and your wife ignored the fact that she needed professional help. What the hell is wrong with you? What kind of father would knowingly put their child at risk like that? If I had known, I could have helped her and you damn well know that!” My muscles begin to tense with anger, my jaw clenches and my hands form fists at my side. It’s taking all my willpower to not physically harm this jackass. Just being in his presence is enough to make me lose my cool.

“I’m well aware of what faults my daughter had, Mr. Matthews. If she had wanted you to know about her
illness
, she would have told you.” The way he says the word illness, it’s as if it is something despicable. I can’t believe this joker. Mental illness is no different than a physical one. Why am I not surprised he would attach a stigma to his daughter. No wonder why Brooke tried to hide it. I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if Jeffery made her feel bad about it every chance he got.

“I’m through with listening to you belittle Brooke and her illness. Even in death she can’t catch a break from you! You are a sad, sad man, Mr. Dugan,” Kara says heatedly to a now shocked looking Jeffery.

“Listen here, young lady. You have no right to speak to me like that. You are a nothing, a nobody. You were never good enough to be friends with a person of my daughter’s caliber. You tarnished her good reputation and need to shut your trap while you still can,” he sneers at Kara.

She visibly pales at his threat and looks extremely nervous.

The protective side of me comes out and within an instant, Jeffery is pushed up against the wall with my arm in his throat. I lean my body into his, putting more pressure than is necessary on his neck. His face starts to turn red and a big, thick vein bulges in his forehead.

“Don’t
ever
speak to her that way. If you are trying to overcompensate for being a shitty father and an overall waste of a human being, you will not be doing it at her expense. Do you hear me?” I spat in his face.

His cold, hard eyes stare at mine. When he makes no move to agree with me, I lean in further. “I said, do you hear me?” I speak slowly, making sure he catches my meaning.

He nods his head slightly, and I release him. He coughs and sputters, bending over at the waist.

“With one phone call, I could ruin your career. You can’t just go around assaulting people. I should have you arrested,” he threatens in between coughs.

“Be my guest. As far as I’m concerned, we’re done here.” I grab Kara’s hand and lead her out to the car.

Once we’re both seated and buckled in, I turn to Kara to see her smiling. I’m shocked at her reaction. I would have assumed she’d be pissed at me for what I did in there.

“What’s so funny?” I ask her, hoping she’d keep that smile on her face a little longer.

“I can’t
believe
you did that! Thank you.” Next thing I know Kara leans across the console and lightly kisses my cheek.

“What was that for?” I ask, stunned at her show of affection.

“For being you. No one has ever stuck up for me like that, including Brooke. Just… thank you.” Her face blushes, and she looks out the window.

I start the car, amazed at how after all the shit that happened in the last twenty-four hours and the crazy revelation about Brooke being bipolar, that I’m still smiling.

Chapter Eight

I adjust my tie and fix my gaze somewhere over Brooke’s casket. The last week has worn on me. I’m going through the motions, but I have no idea how. The guilt I have over Brooke’s death is a heavy weight on my chest. I can’t get her out of my head. When I close my eyes, I see her gray, lifeless body. When I sleep, I dream of her. Unfortunately, they aren’t happy dreams. They’re haunting dreams where she continually berates me for ruining her life. It’s a sad realization to know that I now have the blood of two people on my hands – our unborn child’s and Brooke’s.

The soft, hiccupping cries of Brooke’s mother echo around me. I look over to my left and see Anne and Jeffery sitting across the aisle. His arm is draped over her shoulder as she cries into a handkerchief.

Jeffery’s suit is immaculate and Anne’s dress is classy and stylish. She looks like an older Audrey Hepburn. They both carry themselves with an air of high society. Even in their grief, you can catch them looking down their noses at some of the people in attendance. I find myself wanting to wipe the smug, arrogant expression from Jeffery’s face. I know he has something up his sleeve. It would be a cold day in hell before he’d let my outburst in his study go without retaliation. I welcome the fight. There’s nothing he could say or do that could make my life any worse at this point.

Movement to my right draws my attention, and I turn to see Kara sliding into the seat next to me. She looks beautiful with her curly hair hanging over her shoulders, and a black headband with a bow holds the tresses back from her face. She’s wearing a sleeveless, black dress that skims her collarbone and is belted around her waist. It hugs every curve of her body like it was made specifically for her. The hem falls just above her knees, and her legs are being shown off by her high-heeled pump shoes. Her look is understated, but something about it draws you to her all the more.

It’s fucking sexy is what it is. And wouldn’t I be the bastard to notice that at the funeral of my dead fiancée? I’m finding that the more time I spend with Kara the more she bewitches me. If it isn’t Brooke’s death consuming my thoughts, it is Kara. Her smell, her laugh, her vulnerability, and the way she makes me feel inside. I want to feel that way all the time. It’s like a little oasis away from the shit storm I’m constantly living in. I enjoy every respite that she gives me.

I scrub my hands over my face and attempt to pull myself together. Kara’s hand rests on my knee. Her warmth seeps through my pants, causing that sweet, addictive calm to settle over me. She turns her body towards me, licks her very kissable lips, and leans closer. “Jacob, how are you holding up?”

For a moment, I’m speechless. All I can do is focus on the feeling of her hand on my knee. My eyes stay focused on her mouth.

“Jacob?” I watch her mouth form the word. With some effort, I force myself to answer her.