Authors: Lisa Wilde
He leaned against the wall, quivering and breathing heavily. Ryan stood up and moved under the water that had now grown lukewarm. After a minute, Henry turned to him, looking down at Ryan’s still hard dick Henry started to bend down. Ryan stopped him with a hand to his shoulder. Henry looked confused.
“This water is getting cold and I don’t know how much longer you can stay on your feet, let alone your knees. Let’s go to bed.” He told Henry.
Ryan reached back and turned off the water, then held Henry’s arm as they each stepped out of the shower.
W
HEN HENRY woke up he could hear faint snoring coming from behind him. It took a few seconds for the previous night to come barreling back to him. Ryan. His gut clenched at the memories of what they had done and what they had said, or not said. He rolled over gently in an attempt not to wake Ryan up. Facing him, he couldn’t help but reach out and put his hand on the other man’s cheek. He was beautiful and the way he took care of Henry the night before had been remarkable. Henry was embarrassed by the state that he’s been in. He felt foolish for the way he acted before Ryan left, and for finding out how much his family actually knew about him. He had truly believed that he had flown under the radar much better than he obviously had. Even now his cheeks heated just thinking about it. He pulled his hand back from Ryan’s face and threw his arm over his eyes in an attempt to block out his thoughts. Henry let out a low strangled sigh. He lay there listening to Ryan sleep for the next ten minutes and then quietly got up to take a piss and go make some coffee.
In the bathroom, he noticed that his eyes still looked bloodshot, how was that possible? Also, that their clothes from the night before were littering the bathroom floor and even outside the door into the hallway. There was also a towel in the shower. When Henry remembered why that was there, he groaned. It had been the most incredibly amazing feeling at the time, now it just made him flush with embarrassment. He seemed to keep ending up in these situations lately where he felt totally exposed; now there was not a part of his body or soul that hadn’t been on display. He wasn’t sure how much of that he felt good about or okay with it. Henry pulled himself away from the pathetic sight in the mirror to use the toilet. He threw some cold water on his face when he was done and went back to the bedroom to throw some basketball shorts on. He also recalled what happened in the bedroom, after the shower. That brought a smile to his face.
Henry went into the kitchen, where the first thing he saw was the empty Heineken package and the half-eaten Hawaiian pizza that Ryan had brought. After the sex, Ryan had brought some into the bedroom, he smiled at the memory. Henry was pulling out some coffee mugs and listening to the brewer when Ryan came in. He was just wearing his boxer briefs and he looked gorgeous. Ryan ran a hand through his hair and came around the counter to lean against Henry’s back. He wrapped his arms around Henry’s waist and kissed his spine where his lips met Henry’s back, then turned his cheek to rest against it against him.
“Good morning,” Ryan drawled.
Henry tried to look over his shoulder. He put the cup he was holding down so that he could connect his hand with Ryan’s where it was pressed against his stomach.
“Good morning,” Henry replied, “Want some coffee?”
Ryan nodded against his skin, “Smells good.” Ryan inhaled dramatically to get his point across.
“It’s not special brew, just dark roast,” Henry pointed out, only partly in jest.
Ryan responded by squeezing his stomach in a tight grip.
“Ow, ow,
okay sorry bad joke, mercy!” Henry said with a little giggle.
Ryan stretched up and bit into his shoulder.
“Ow
, I said mercy!” Henry tried to say seriously but he was laughing too hard.
Ryan let go. “Where’s the sugar?”
Henry pointed to the cabinet. “Milk or cream?” Henry asked.
Ryan waggled his eyebrows.
Henry shook his head, “Does your mind live in the gutter?”
“Pretty much, yep,” Ryan affirmed.
After that they made their cups of coffee and Ryan jumped up on the counter to drink his. He pulled Henry by his waistband to stand between his legs. They both took a few sips and put the cups down. Ryan put his arms around Henry’s neck and then began to rub them down his shoulders. Henry just stared into his eyes, not saying anything.
“How are you feeling today?” Ryan asked him.
Henry looked up at the ceiling and then back at Ryan and it was his turn to shrug. “I’m feeling a whole bunch of shit.”
“Okay why don’t we start with how are you feeling about us?”
“You go first.”
Ryan squinted at Henry, as if he was considering something. Just as he was about to speak, there was a knock at the door.
~~~~~
Ryan was prepared to tell Henry everything.
After the night before, how could he not? He had been sure that Henry would pass out the minute they got to the bedroom. Between the alcohol and the orgasm, how could he not? That was not the case however; as soon as he was on the bed Henry was on him. There wasn’t much opportunity for any meaningful conversation, after Henry slunk down the mattress to suck him off. Ryan had been so close when he realized that Henry was dry humping the bed. He decided that wasn’t okay and made Henry change positions, giving Ryan the ability give as good as he received. He was getting hard just thinking about it now.
The knock on door quelled those feelings for the moment. Henry looked nervous, really nervous. Ryan considered going into his room to hide but he decided against it. If Henry wanted him to go, he would have to say the words. But Henry didn’t say anything, just paused for a few beats, until the person outside went from knocking to banging. Ryan stayed sitting on the counter while Henry went to the door.
“Who is it?” Henry asked hesitantly.
“It’s Annie, knucklehead, open the door!”
Ryan heard Henry mutter the word fuck, before taking a deep breath, looking at Ryan and opening the door.
“Hey, you okay? It took you-”
Henry’s sister walked into the apartment talking and stopped mid-sentence when she saw Ryan.
Henry shut the door, biting his lip and crossing his arms over his bare chest. He didn’t say anything, if Ryan didn’t know any better he could swear that Henry looked as if he were about to be sick.
“Hey, I’m Ryan.” He said jumping off the counter and going toward Annie with a hand out.
She didn’t hesitate to shake his hand. “Hi Ryan, I’m Annie.”
“Sorry, I should have introduced you. Annie, what are you doing here?” Henry asked her.
“Well, I needed to get my car and I thought that I would check on you. You seem to be in good hands.” Annie said, giving Ryan a once over.
“Annie! Oh my fucking God, kill me now.” Henry said, rubbing his hands over his face.
Ryan could only laugh, he liked her already.
“Oh Henry, relax. Seriously though, you never said how damn cute he was.”
Henry just gaped at her.
“Henry, you never told her how cute I was? Wow, I’m crushed.” Ryan teased.
“Har-har, I’m glad you two are enjoying my humiliation.”
“What the hell are you humiliated about? It’s not like I caught you two having sex.”
At Annie’s statement, Henry became very still, a glazed look in his eyes.
“Sorry, you know what I mean.” She nudged her brother’s shoulder.
“So, I wish I could stay. Ryan, I really want to get to know you. Who knows, maybe we’ll meet again?”
“That would be nice. It was good to meet you.”
“Same here,” Annie said as she went to hug her brother. “Henry, I’ll leave you to it. Call me later, love you. Bye, Ryan.”
“Bye.” Ryan called as she walked back out the door. “She seems nice, funny too.”
“Oh yeah, she’s a laugh a minute. Just wait till you meet Pat.” Henry shut up after that. He clearly was second guessing what he had just said.
Ryan wanted to let him off the hook. He also thought that maybe he needed to let Henry process things before he told Henry everything that he wanted to tell him. He hated to do it, and he wasn’t sure it was even the right thing. They had already missed so much time that they could have been together. Although Ryan could admit that that had been time that he truly needed to get his shit together.
“Hey, listen I should take off, I have some things to do. But will you meet me somewhere on Friday night?”
“Yeah sure, I guess, where?” Henry asked him skeptically.
“I’ll text you the address and time. Don’t worry it will be all right. Dress casual.” With that Ryan walked over to Henry, kissed him and went to retrieve his cup of coffee before going to get dressed to leave.
T
HURSDAY night after work Henry went straight to his parents’ house. His mother had called him earlier that day and asked him to help her bring the patio furniture out from the back shed. He had gotten it all out and hosed off and was inside washing his hands when his mother came to the bathroom door.
“You’re staying for dinner right?”
“I wasn’t planning to, but how could I turn down some home cooking from my mother?” He smiled at her.
“Good boy.”
They ate together in the kitchen, Henry talked about work and Frannie talked about the salon. Not long after, they were finished and sitting on the sofa with the TV turned on to nothing in particular, when Frannie spoke.
“Henry, remember my cousin Eddy?”
“Yes,” Henry responded.
“Eddy was my favorite cousin growing up. We were about the same age, I suppose that might have had something to do with it. Anyway, we got along great, did everything together. Our mothers being sisters and all, he was always around. When we became teenagers we got into trouble together, not crazy stuff, but typical teenage trouble. We always covered for each other though, sort of like the way Pat used to get you to cover for him.” She said with a pointed look. Henry laughed and rested his head on her shoulder. She continued, “One night he wanted to go to hang out at this bridge. We all used to go there to drink and well, do things teenagers do.”
“Ma, I don’t want to know.” Henry told her.
“Oh relax, I wasn’t going to get graphic. Anyway, back to my story. His mother had called the house looking for him and my mother asked me if I’d seen him. See, the plan was to say he went to ball field with some guys from school but Auntie Louise said that she needed him home right away. I don't know what for, but she was planning to drive down there and find him. I told my mother and aunt I was bored, so I would ride my bike down there and send him home. They both agreed. So I went out to the bridge to find him. It was just starting to get dark when I got there. I didn't see anyone around but I heard some noise from under the bridge. I called out to him and heard some scuffling. Eddy came around the brick archway buttoning his pants. I was sixteen, I knew what he was doing, and that didn't surprise me. What I didn't know was who he was doing it with.”
Henry kept his head on her shoulder but his chest constricted a bit. He wondered about where this story was going, she continued. “It was a kid from the neighborhood, John Spencer.”
Henry went to sit up and his mother pulled her arm from between them. She lifted it up and put it on the back of her son’s head, holding him in place. The events of earlier that week had left Henry feeling vulnerable and scared, but none of that compared to the sheer terror coursing through him at this moment. He had no idea what she would say next, he knew where this was going, though. He also knew that one or both of his siblings had broken their promise and for that, there would be hell to pay. Frannie kept telling her story.
“Later on, when Eddy and I talked about it he told me that he was so worried that I had come looking for him because something was wrong that he didn't stop to think long enough to tell John to stay hidden. But back to that night, I told him to get home and then I left. The next night he found me while I was doing my paper route. He asked if I had told anyone, I hadn't. He was scared, thought I would shun him; I wouldn't love him anymore or find him disgusting. Truth was, I didn't care about him and John. I was worried about him because I knew the trouble it could cause if other people found out. But how could I stop loving him over that? He hadn't hurt anyone, he always looked out for me, and he was a good person. I did ask him questions that were probably way too personal, you know, about the technicalities of it all. We stayed close, I'd say closer than before. I covered for him while he was with John or whoever and he covered for me while I was off with your father.”
Henry cleared his throat before speaking. He wanted to ask her a question but he deflected.
“What happened to him? I know he died but you know, I don't remember how.”
“He died in a skiing accident when he was about thirty.”
“Did anyone else ever find out?”
“Yes, everyone knew. Most didn't acknowledge it and he didn't flaunt his business. He ended up moving to Vermont, he said for work but I think he wanted the freedom to be himself without our family and people in the neighborhood making things difficult.”
“Ma, why are you telling me this now?”
Henry didn’t want to hear the answer.
“Because Henry, I don't want my son to run.”
“Ma.” Henry jumped up ready to do just that. His heart was pounding.
“Henry, you remind me of him,” she put a hand up to stop Henry’s attempt at interruption, “and that's not a negative thing. What I mean is, you have similar personalities. Quiet, introverted, keep a low profile, you always put your family’s feelings before your own.”
Henry didn’t know what to say to that. “Who told you?”
Frannie sighed and pulled Henry down by the shoulder, so that his head was resting in her lap. “I think I've known for some time.”
“How?” Henry asked closing his eyes, steeling himself for the answer.
“I'm not sure. Just a feeling, if that makes sense. I suppose I would need to think about it a little more to figure that out. What I do know is that I don't want you hurt. I'm afraid for you, but I’m afraid for all my kids, in different ways. Henry, I would never forgive you if you tried to be someone you’re not. I need you to be happy with whoever makes you happy. Do you understand that?”
Henry nodded; tears were beginning to stream down his face and onto his mother’s leg. He didn’t try to stop them or wipe them away.
“I know what happened with your father.”
Henry swore he stopped breathing.
“Please, don't be mad at Annie and Pat, they were worried about you. Sweetie, your dad had health problems. As parents, we didn't want to burden you kids with those kinds of things. He also didn’t want to be put on a desk, so your Pop chose to ignore many of those problems, in spite of my best efforts to get him to take care of himself. Was it a shock what your father saw? I'm sure it was, but the stroke? Henry, that wasn't your fault.”
Henry began to breathe again, now he was crying into his mother’s leg as she combed her fingers through his hair.
“Same as now. There’s the second stroke and the other health problems and now the Alzheimer's. Your poor father was heading down a long and painful road and it had
nothing
to do with you. His family has a long history of health issues, you know.
“I think I helped it along though.” Henry whimpered almost inaudible.
“That’s just not true. I can promise you that.”
“What would he say Ma …if he knew.”
“Well, he does know, sweetie. I won't lie to you, I think it would be hard for him. But I can guarantee you that he wouldn't turn his back on you and he wouldn't love you any less and that's the absolute truth.”
“I'm scared.”
“I know you are, honey. But we all love you and want you to be happy. For now, go with that, everything else will fall into place.”
“Does Julie know?”
“No, I thought we should let you decide on that one. I know Annie hasn't spoken to Louis and Pat hasn't spoken to Tara.”
“Oh, I'll be on his shit list for sure.” Henry said with a quick chuckle.
“Oh yeah,” Frannie laughed, “She’ll give him hell. Poor Pat, seems like he can’t do anything right with her lately.”
“I know, that’s their way, it seems. Oh God, she's going to tell Jackie,” Henry groaned.
“Screw her, you don't owe her anything.”
“Ma!”
“Well you don't. Were you honest with her?”
“Yes, I was so unhappy Ma. She isn't the nicest person.”
“You don't have to tell me. Frankly I'm surprised you put up with her as long as you did.”
Henry laughed at that, “Me too, me too.” Henry sniffled.