Authors: Lisa Wilde
Frannie picked up her spoon and pointed in Pat’s direction, never saying a word.
Pat leaned over the table to Louis. “Can you believe how they treat me, little man? No love for poor Uncle Pat.” Louis giggled.
After a little while, everyone had eaten their fill. Henry and Pat had a few beers, as did Annie. Julie, Tara and Jackie had opted for wine.
“Okay, you boys can clean up now. Just leave the food on the counter, and I will make plates for everyone to take home.”
The women sat and drank their wine while Louis, Henry and Patrick cleared the table.
“I can help you; I’m done with my wine anyway,” Jackie said, swigging the last gulp of wine from her glass and standing up.
Great.
Pat eyed Henry, but he only shook his head slightly.
“Oh honey, sit your butt down with us. That‘s what they do, they’ve got it covered,” Annie said with her best fake smile.
Jackie looked around the room unsure for a second before sitting back down.
“So Jackie, tell me how you have been. What’s new in your life?”
Annie to the rescue!
Henry gathered as much as he could carry and headed toward the kitchen, calling back over his shoulder to Pat. “I’ll start soaking these and loading the dishwasher, you and Louis finish clearing.”
“Sure, take the easy way out. I mean the easy job!” Pat said trying not to laugh. Too bad for his dumb ass that he just happened to be standing next to Annie’s spot at the table.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his brother rewarded by her with a shin kick. Now that was funny!
After Henry had the dishwasher fully loaded and was drying his hands, the inevitable happened.
“Hey you,” Jackie said from behind him. Henry closed his eyes and rubbed his index finger across his brow. Turned his head to the side in her direction, “Hey.”
“Can we talk out back?”
“Yeah, I guess.” Henry bit the inside of his cheek before he could say
HELL NO!
and run the other way.
He walked over to the door and held it open for her to walk through ahead of him.
Once they were in the backyard and out of ear shot, Henry stood there. He put one hand in his pocket and rested the other one against the tree that now boasted a new tire swing. He waited for Jackie to speak. He really didn’t have much to say himself. He felt like he had said what he needed to. But he would give her this moment, nothing she said was going to change his mind though, he was absolutely sure of that.
“So, that was awkward,” Jackie said hesitantly.
“Well I guess so, I had no idea that you were coming here,” Henry replied.
“I wanted to see you. I mean what happened yesterday was so silly. I guess that you were just having a bad day. So, I’ll forgive you.” Jackie leaned toward Henry and tried to rub his arm, but he stepped back out of reach.
“I don’t need you to forgive me, Jackie. I just don’t think we should see each other anymore, and yesterday was the straw that broke the camel’s back I guess.”
Jackie looked as if he had slapped her. She started to turn red and balled up her fists by her sides, eyes closed. She rolled her head back and forth several times. Henry braced himself for the hit that it appeared was coming.
However, after a few beats, she opened her eyes and unclenched her fists.
“Henry, love, I am going to give you a few days. I’m not sure what is wrong with you. I’m going to wait it out though. We are not throwing away all that we have. Sorry, but I’m not letting it happen.”
“Jackie we didn’t have much to begin with. I don’t want this relationship to go any further. Honestly, it can’t.”
“What do you mean it can’t? Is there someone else? Are you cheating on me, Henry Hayes? I swear to God if I find out.” Jackie had her finger pointed in his face.
Henry really just wanted to walk away. Had it been anyone else, he would have, but because of Tara, he knew that he wouldn’t. It would just make things worse.
“All there is left to say Jackie, is that I hope we can be civil to each other.” He refused to say I hope we can be friends because he didn’t want that. Not by a long shot. “We’re going to run into one another and that can’t be helped. But this-” Henry waved a hand between the two of them,”-this is done. I don’t need a few days to cool off. There is no one else. We were never right for each other. I let it linger far longer than it should have, and I apologize for that.”
Jackie stood there speechless but shaking her head.
“Okay, I’m going to go now. Bye Jackie.”
And with that, he walked away. He considered that she might just jump on his back and attack him but then thought better of it. That wouldn’t put on a good show for his family. And if there was one thing that Jackie was good for, it was putting on a show.
Henry walked back into the house. Every eye was on him as he walked by and toward his father’s room to say goodbye.
When he emerged from the room ten minutes later, they were all there except for Jackie, Tara and Julie. Pat sat at the dining room table with a scowl on his face. Obviously, his wife had not been happy with how things had gone down. Henry shrugged his shoulders and went to kiss his mother goodbye and retrieve his leftovers that she would never let him leave without. Leftovers, to Frannie Hayes were actual full on meals, several days’ worth to be honest. It was the only real home cooking to be had at Henry’s place. He didn’t particularly care to cook and wasn’t the best at it. Most nights it was takeout. Jackie had done some cooking at his place, but for some reason, he preferred to go to hers. Even if it was just for dinner, not because he liked her place better, he didn’t like her invading his space. The fact that he thought of it as she was invading his space should have set off alarm bells a long time ago.
Carrying his mother’s Tupperware containers that were probably older than he was with her warning to bring them back unscathed, he made his way back into the dining room to say good bye to Pat, Annie and Louis.
Henry kissed his sister on the cheek and thanked her for running interference. He gave his brother a friendly punch to the shoulder and told Pat to call him soon so they could meet up and watch a game. Pat just grunted, he was pouting. Henry guessed that was because he was not going to be getting laid that night.
“Louis my man, how about we hang out next weekend? Just you and me what do you say?”
Louis’s eyes lit up. “Hell yeah!”
“Louis!” Annie yelled, but then covered her mouth and held her stomach trying to suppress the laughter. This made even the miserable Pat laugh.
Henry ruffled his nephew’s hair and left the house.
He had survived.
C
LOSE to two weeks had passed since the family dinner with Jackie. They had been relatively uneventful and Henry was grateful for that. The following Sunday dinner went by without drama; except for the fact that Tara wouldn’t give Henry the time of day. She said hello and was civil, but Henry was sure that it was for his mother’s benefit; for no one else, not even poor deprived Pat.
That weekend he also took Louis out to the New England Aquarium. Henry had lost count of how many times they had been. Little did anyone know that Henry enjoyed going as much, if not more than Louis. It was one of his favorite places. Henry had needed the outing and to spend that quality time with his nephew. It was so nice to just have fun, enjoy life and be carefree. Kids always brought those feelings out in him, that was one thing that he and Pat had in common. Pat would be a great father someday. Annie was a great mother. And Julie, well she was so wrapped up in herself that would be a long time coming, he thought. They had wonderful parents. If he were to be a parent, he would hope to make his children as happy as his parents had made him. Despite the fact that he had been a disappointment to his father when it came down to it and it was his fault that his father was living life the way he was now.
After he had brought an exhausted Louis home to Annie, Henry went to the gym for an hour before he stopped and grabbed some Chinese food. She had insisted that he stay and have dinner with her but Henry asked her for a rain check, he just wanted to get home.
“Henry, you are such an introvert,” Annie had said rolling her eyes at her brother.
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Henry leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll call you soon.”
“You better. And Henry, thanks again. He really does love spending time with you.”
“Of course he does. I’m his favorite uncle.” Henry winked at his sister and left.
Henry ate dinner and showered before settling in on the sofa with his computer and some paperwork he had brought home. He decided to indulge and had a few shots of whiskey with beer chasers. The alcohol warmed his insides and relaxed him. He pulled open the drawer of the coffee table to get out the TV remote and found the program from Ryan’s show. He picked it up and looked it over. With his inhibitions lowered from the drinks, he decided there really was no harm in trying to find out a little bit more about Ryan and what he had been up to the past six years.
Henry wasn’t much for social networking. In his line of work, it was a really bad idea, even with privacy settings. Dealing with adolescents that lived on social media, he was sure they could find him with little to no effort.
Henry did an internet search for Ryan and several social networking sites popped up. Henry chose one and clicked on it. However, he couldn’t see anything because he didn’t have an account himself. So he made one.
He didn’t put much information on it. No picture. He planned to delete it before the night was over. Once he had it set up, he went right back to Ryan’s page. There wasn’t as much there as he would have liked to see; a few pictures, mostly of other people or places. Many pictures of performers Henry could only assume from his show. His bio page was pretty vague as well. One thing did catch his eye. It said that Ryan had recently updated the city he lived in from New York City to Boston.
Henry jerked upward off the sofa so fast that he nearly dropped the laptop on the floor. He caught it and placed it on the coffee table. He sat there staring at the screen, rubbing his finger across his eyebrow several times. He got up and went to the kitchen and grabbed another beer.
“Boston, Boston.”
He chanted to himself.
He just couldn’t believe it. He finished the beer off in several long pulls. Then he went back to the sofa, sat down and went back to staring. Fantasies about Ryan Mallory had been an indulgence for so long. Now the thought that he could quite possibly run into him on the street had his adrenaline pumping. He was feeling bold, thanks to the alcohol, so he picked up the laptop. There was a button to send a personal message, and he clicked it.
Henry:
Hey Ryan, not sure if you remember me. We went to NU together. New to this whole social networking thing. I saw that you were in Boston. I just thought that I would say hi. So hi. All right, maybe we’ll talk soon. Henry Hayes.
As soon as he hit send Henry wanted to take it back, especially the part where he put his last name, like he was writing a letter. What a loser. It was sent, and there was nothing he could do now but wait. Henry thought it would have been funny to say
‘Hey, remember me? I went home with you from a party. Made out with you and then ran out like a little chicken shit when your roommate walked in?’
The memory still made Henry feel flush. He tried to divert his thoughts, but that wasn’t working out too well for him. He stayed up for a while longer, trying to watch TV and checking game scores on line. The idea of doing paperwork was shot to hell. Heading off to bed with an exasperated sigh, he knew sleep would elude him again tonight.
~~~~~
When Ryan’s parents showed up at the loft earlier that day he hadn’t expected them to stay as long as they did. It was a little after five when he finally shooed them out the door. He loved them and was happy and grateful to see them, but there was only so much he could take. His mother smothered him and most of his life he hadn’t minded all that much. He was more like his mother and his sister Rena took after their father more. Lately however, Ryan was indignant at being the object of his parents’ suspicions and skepticism. He had only been in Boston a few weeks and one or both of his parents had come down at least once a week. Today when they arrived, he was a bit paranoid because he had just smoked and taken some Vicodin for his knee. He knew they would be able to tell that he was on something or as his mother liked to call it “self-medicating.” After the inquisition from his father about how therapy was going and rehab, his mother started in on spicing up the loft.
“Ryan, let’s go out and get something to eat and then go do some shopping.”
“I’m not really feeling up to it Mom. Therapy today was brutal.” Which wasn’t a lie, but he left out the part about not using the crutches as often as he should be. He was good about the brace, but even that was getting annoying. He wanted to get back to his real life though so, you do what you have to do.
“All right. Well, we can shop online and have stuff delivered, how does that sound?” His mother asked him, sounding hopeful.
“Sure Mom,” Ryan answered with a reassuring smile.
Clapping her hands together she asked, “Okay, so where is your laptop?” She sounded giddy. Ryan had to smirk, he loved her. Sure she could get on his nerves but she also meant the world to him.
Ryan’s father was off in the corner talking on the phone. It sounded to Ryan like he was making arrangements to go see a property. When he hung up Ryan asked, “What’s up Dad?”
“I’m going to check out a building in Hyde Park.”
“Right now?”
“Yes, I shouldn’t be too long. I’m sure you and your mother can stay busy.” He chuckled.
“You looking to buy?”
“No, no, this is for an associate. He asked since I was here, if I would mind giving him a second opinion on it as an investment.”
“Cool.”
“I should be back in a few hours. Then maybe we could go out and eat before we head back?”
“That sounds good, honey. We’ll be here.” His mother responded.
Then she was situated on the sofa with the laptop and beckoning Ryan over.
An hour later, Ryan had several packages coming from Amazon and few other places that he’d never heard of. He texted back and forth with Cameron for a while, he was really missing him. He had seen him since coming back but Ryan had been isolated here. It didn’t have to be that way; he just hadn’t put much effort into reaching out to any of his local friends and acquaintances. Not for any reason in particular, he was just a bit down. He was feeling overwhelmed by the swift shift in direction that his life had taken recently. He knew he would get back on course soon enough but it was still jarring, none the less.
He hadn’t been doing as much in the way of recreational drugs. He felt okay, he wasn’t having crazy withdrawals or anything like his mother had been in a panic over. He knew he really wasn’t supposed to be doing anything, but he was working on it. He made it clear to the therapist that he was seeing that while he could admit he had a problem; it was not as earth shattering as everyone made it out to be.
There were also things that he was not willing to give up, at least not anytime soon. He would never share that at a meeting though. He wasn’t too fond of those. The meetings were kind of crazy. He tried to stick to the same places and times but that wasn’t always possible. Some were open and some were closed, some had people that made you want to cry and hug them. Some had people that made you want to buy a gun and hide under your bed. Hell, Ryan had even seen drug deals going on at a few NA meetings, out in the parking lot! Then there were some people that were simply there for the free food and coffee.
After going to a late lunch then back to the loft for a while, his parents were on their way. When they left, Ryan was on the bed with his leg propped up by pillows. His mother had insisted that after walking around he needed to take the weight off it. So that was what he was doing. He fell asleep and when he woke up it was after midnight. Ryan went to the kitchen and heated some leftovers from the restaurant. He smoked a cigarette while he waited. After eating and smoking one more butt, he popped two more pills and went back to bed.
The next morning he was sitting at the counter drinking some juice while he turned on his laptop and started checking email and social media. He had nothing planned for the day; it would be just him and the internet. He nearly choked on his OJ when he came across a message from Henry Hayes. He never in a million years would have expected that. He thought for sure that guy would be married with kids, living in the suburbs. Maybe he was? Maybe he was and he found Ryan somehow and thought…it was plausible. Ryan had no doubt the guy was in the closet. He wouldn’t be that guy but it did send an intense thrill down his spine and right to his dick. I mean, Henry was the one that got away. He had crushed on him hard after that one night, which was ludicrous because nothing really happened. But Ryan had liked him, dispelling his assumption that he only liked assertive men. He had thought about him many times over the years.
He would message him and see what Henry had to say. Ryan couldn’t pretend that he wasn’t a little excited. That in turn, led to a slight feeling of guilt, which led to a text to Cameron. He had told Cam the story about Henry at some point. Cameron had stroked his ego by telling him that Henry was crazy to run away from a hot piece of ass like him.
Right now he would just reply to the message, if they made any plans it would be strictly platonic; after all, he needed to reconnect with people. If Cameron had a problem with it though, he wouldn’t go.
~~~~~
Henry cracked his eyes open just enough to see where his phone was on the night stand. He reached out for it and after tapping the screen to shut the alarm off, he dropped the phone back to the night stand. Closing his eyes and lying back, he began to recall the night before. He had tossed and turned a good portion of the night. He had jerked off, hoping it would help alleviate some of the tension but it was a fleeting relief. Within a minute’s time, he remembered the message. He jumped up out of the bed, ignoring the head rush and made a beeline for the computer still sitting on the coffee table. Picking it up and turning it on, he gnawed on his fingernails as he waited. Once he was on line, there it was. He had never closed the page. There was no response and no way to delete the sent message. Henry slammed the laptop shut. The aggression wasn’t so much over the fact that the message had not been responded too; but more that he was stressing the way he always was. He felt like a fourteen-year-old.
Henry had a pretty busy day at work and no real opportunities to check for a reply to the message. He had several appointments, and one ended with a kid getting arrested. He never wanted to have to send one of his kids back to juvenile detention. By the time Henry got home, he was in a pretty foul mood. He wasn’t even thinking about the message. He was barely in the door when he received a text from his brother Pat asking if he needed anything at the store.
Shit.
Henry had forgotten that Pat was coming over to watch the game. For a brief moment, Henry considered canceling but then he thought better of it. First off, Pat would assume something was wrong and most likely show up anyway. Second, if he were being honest with himself he knew it would be a welcome distraction to have Pat there. Henry let Pat know that he didn’t need anything. Then he went to take a quick shower before his brother got there. He turned on the computer. He was just about to check his messages when the bell rang.
“What’s up, little brother?” Pat said with that cheeky smile of his, when Henry opened the door. “Nothing much, what you got there?”
“I grabbed some beers at the packie and got fish and chips.”
“Sweet, thanks! Go ahead in the living room, I’ll be right there.” Henry went back into his room to grab his cell phone in case work called.
He came back down the hallway phone in hand. He froze, almost losing his grip on the phone as he looked to the coffee table and realized that he had left the laptop open. Pat was busy pulling the food out of the brown paper bags; it didn’t appear that he had noticed. Henry hurried over, closed the laptop and tossed it on the side chair. He sat down next to his brother and waited for Pat to say something about it but he didn’t. Henry put the game on and they sat to eat. They really didn’t talk until they had eaten all of their food and drank half a dozen beers. After that most of their conversation was around the game.