In Your Honor (10 page)

“
Not to me.” Lenny smiled slightly.
“He's started his own line of snowboards and he wants to meet with
me to discuss a business partnership.”

“
Have you decided if you're going to
compete next year?” Lucy tentatively tasted her hot drink, burning
the tip of her tongue.

“
I've been talking about it with Luke
a lot. I hate being away from him for that long, but he thinks that
this tour will be big enough that they can take most of next year
off.”

“
I keep forgetting that he's his own
boss,” Lucy mused as she looked out the window of the cafe at the
passing traffic.

“
Don't tell Carl that,” Lenny pointed
out.

“
I think Carl hates me,” Lucy
deadpanned, and then grinned as Lenny almost spit coffee through
her nose in amusement.

“
Why do you think that?” she asked
when she'd recovered.

“
He's always growling and frowning
when he's around me.” Lucy scowled and turned her mouth down to
demonstrate.

“
That's just Carl,” Lenny reasoned,
shaking her head with a smile. “He was born grumpy.” She took
another drink of her mocha and Lucy could see the question behind
her eyes and wondered if she would ask this time.

They had had numerous conversations,
but Lenny had always been careful not to ask about the elephant in
the room. In fact, no one had asked about her past with Blake.
Almost as if they'd been instructed not to. Which wouldn't surprise
Lucy at all.
But Lenny didn't seem like
the type to follow the party line.

“So...” Lenny started,
avoiding eye contact and sounding way too casual. “How long have
you known Blake?”

“A while.” She watched
Lenny chew on the inside of her cheek and wanted to smile. She
wasn't supposed to be talking about this. Lucy realized they had
crossed the last boundary of friendship where they were willing to
break rules for each other, and it made her smile.

“You wanna tell me...
anything... about that?” Lenny rested her chin in her hand and
gazed out the window like she didn't care what Lucy's answer was,
even though it was pretty obvious that she was dying to
know.

“This is a forbidden
topic, isn't it?” Lucy confronted her with raised
eyebrows.

Lenny's eyes swung back to hers and she
exhaled heavily. “Yes! But it's killing me not to ask!”

“Well, what do you already
know?” Lucy leaned both elbows on the table, loving the rebellious
glint in Lenny's dark blue eyes.

“Nothing.” Lenny leaned
back in her chair, exasperation all over her face. “Not really. No
one will tell me anything. Luke said you guys grew up together and
that you were each other's first loves. But that doesn't explain
all the frickin' tension around here.”

Lucy grimaced. That was accurate. The
tension was thick and it affected everyone, even though no one
talked about it. “That's all true. Blake and I...” Lucy didn't know
what more she could add. She had never really been able to explain
the intensity of their relationship even to herself. “We were best
friends.”

“Were?” Lenny cocked an
eyebrow.

“Yeah, inseparable.” Lucy
sighed and picked at the cardboard sleeve of her cup. “In high
school we followed the natural progression from friends to lovers.”
Lucy grit her teeth and then took a drink of her coffee. “But it
didn't work out.”

“What do you mean?” Lenny
asked gently.

Lucy felt the familiar sting in her eyes
that happened when she allowed herself to revisit those memories.
“I mean, I fell in love with him. Hard.” She swallowed. “And he
didn't fall back.” She leaned back in her chair and pushed her hair
back over her shoulder, trying to put on her bravest face.

“Blake and I were very
close, even as kids. We know each other's good and bad so well it's
not even fair.

“I've always been a
very... passionate person.” Her voice dripped with cynicism to help
cover over the hurt. “And Blake, I think, got to a point where he
couldn't handle it anymore.” She laughed sardonically. “He couldn't
handle
me
... I
was... too much.” Her words trailed off as her brain accessed a
long buried memory. She decided to skip the private details and
just tell the basics.

“Things were really great.
But then we had a huge fight one night and he left for California
without telling me.”

“That's when he ended up
with that now-defunct punk band.” Lenny nodded her head, filling in
the parts she knew.

“Every time his tour would
come near town he'd show up at my door...” Lucy shook her head,
disappointed at herself. “He'd tell me he loved me and that he
needed me and blah blah blah.” She pursed her lips. “And I always
believed him because I was so happy he was back and I had missed
him so much. I'd shamelessly throw myself right back into his arms.
I must have looked like a complete fool to the bands he was touring
with. He'd always bring me backstage and introduce me, that's why
Luke and the guys know me. They must've thought I was so stupid.
Because he always left the next morning before I woke up. Without
so much as a note.

“I guess somewhere along
the way I had had enough. I started seeing this guy we had both
gone to school with. Frank. We dated for a while and then got
engaged. Blake was on the first headlining tour for DBS and he came
to see me, but Frank was there. It got pretty ugly.”

“What happened?” Lenny was
engrossed and Lucy felt a twinge of guilt for disclosing Blake's
past without his permission, but pushed through it. It was her
story too.

“They got into a fist
fight. Blake broke his nose and Frank threatened to call the cops
and press charges, but I talked him out of it. I told Blake he
couldn't come back. That I wasn't his girl anymore.” Lucy tapped
the sides of her now-empty cup. “And he didn't... until a couple
weeks ago.”

Lenny studied her for a long time before
speaking. “You're not married, though.”

“No,” Lucy smirked.
“Apparently I was too much for Blake, but not enough for Frank. He
had a few girlfriends on the side.”

“I'm sorry, that sucks.”
Lenny frowned with compassion. “I get why you stay away from each
other.”

“I wish we could be
friends again.” Lucy smiled wistfully down at the table. “I miss
that part the most... but with Blake, it could never be one without
the other.”

“Maybe,” Lenny said
quietly, causing Lucy to look up. “I've learned in the past year to
never write anyone off. People can surprise you.”

***

Blake's eyes flew open in the darkness of
his bunk. He tried to calm his racing heart, but his pulse
thundered in his ears. His whole body was tense and he had to focus
on relaxing. His breathing began to even out and he pulled the
curtain back, swung his legs out and dropped into the walkway.

He slipped on his discarded jeans and padded
silently through the quiet interior of the still bus. They must
have parked at the next venue, he noted as he saw the first pale
signs of dawn begin on the horizon out the side window. Not
bothering with shoes, he quietly opened the bus door and descended
into the parking lot.

The pavement was cool under his bare feet,
but the air was still warm from the lingering humidity that rolled
off the nearby ocean. He ran his hand through his hair and breathed
in deeply. He needed his head to be clear.

For two weeks he had successfully kept his
promise of staying away from Lucy. But she wouldn't stay out of his
head. His dreams at night had ranged from terrifying to erotic and
sometimes a combination of the two extremes. Not talking to her was
killing him inside.

He watched her play and sing every night,
and that probably wasn't helping with his ache for her. Her talent
was captivating. It always had been. She was the one person in the
world who could mesmerize him with a simple chord and her angelic
voice. When she played, her face held such joy that he couldn't
take his eyes off of her. The most beautiful girl in the world.

He sighed and stuck his hands in his
pockets. This was the longest, hardest tour of his life. All that
time spent avoiding home and avoiding her and here she was,
constantly in arms' reach. And yet, never had she been so far
away.

***

Blake tried to focus on sound check but it
was difficult. He could hear Lucy's laughter from the sound booth,
where she was joking around with Lenny and Greg. It really wasn't
fair how much brighter she made things. He was hyper-aware of her
location at all times.

“Blake, you wanna give us some vocals?” Greg
hollered from the booth. Luke was still wrapping an interview with
a local paper and the band was standing around waiting.

“Sure,” Blake responded into the mic as he
stared hard at Lucy. She was watching. Good.

He turned towards Mike. “You know any Tom
Petty?”

“Are you kidding? I cut my teeth on Tom
Petty. What do you have in mind?” Mike leaned forward eagerly.

“'Here Comes My Girl,'” Blake responded
flatly. Was he really going to sing their song? You bet your ass he
was.

Harrison and Sway stepped over. “You sure?”
Sway raised an eyebrow.

Blake gave him a cavalier grin. “No harm in
warming up with a classic.”

Mike struck the drums, dissuading any
further conversation, and Blake's hands automatically found the
chord. He spun to the mic and growled out the first words of the
song he used to sing to Lucy.

His eyes sought and found hers over the edge
of the sound booth. She looked pissed. And gorgeous. She folded her
arms across her chest and jutted her chin out, narrowing her eyes
at him. He expected her to stalk off in a huff, but she didn't.

He poured all of the frustration and
attitude he'd been feeling into what he was doing. He knew he
looked cocky and was coming across a little bit like a dick, but it
was the best therapy for him at the moment. He didn't mean for his
tone to be sarcastic, but when you're singing about being with
someone forever to the person you promised it to and forever had
been canceled... it
felt
pretty sarcastic.

***

“What an ass,” Lucy said out loud.

“Is it just me, or is Blake singing directly
at you?” Lenny asked from next to her.

“It
used
to be our song.” Lucy pursed
her lips. “He's just being a dick.”

“Dick or no dick, he's
definitely a southern boy,” Greg interjected. “You have to be from
the south to play that lick.”

Lucy felt Lenny looking at her but she
didn't break eye contact with Blake. While it felt like he was
trying some passive-aggressive punishment thing on her, she
couldn't deny the familiar pull she felt towards him ripping
upwards from her insides. Blake, behind a microphone, with a guitar
slung across his hips, was still one of the hottest sights in the
universe. And he knew it.

The song started to close and Blake wriggled
his hips in her direction as the band went right into a DBS song.
He wasn't Luke Casey, but his snarl was pretty damn effective. Lucy
took a steadying breath, shoved her hands in her pockets and
decided to walk away.

***

They were traveling up the eastern seaboard,
coming up on a day off. The two bands had seemed to peel off into
little groups. Taylor had been invited to go fishing with Luke and
Mike, and Lenny invited Lucy to go to the beach with Chad and Sway.
It sounded like fun and Lucy could really use the sunshine, so she
agreed.

She changed into her swimsuit in the bus and
frowned at herself in the full-length mirror behind the bathroom
door. She tugged the side of the top of the dark green suit down to
cover the small, black script swirled against her ribs under her
left arm. That was something she didn't want to have to explain
yet. To anyone.

She threw on some jeans, an old, gray DBS
shirt that she'd had for years, and flip flops.

“
You ready?” Lenny called from the
main lounge.

“
Yep.” Lucy grabbed a towel and
hurried out the door. A day off was exactly what she needed.
Nothing to do but relax and soak up the sun, maybe swim a little.
She climbed into the van, Kendra at the wheel, and paused. She had
done a fairly decent job of avoiding Blake since his little stunt
at sound check a few days ago, but there he was, sitting in the
backseat with Sway. She tried to cover her surprise as she took a
seat next to Lenny and Chad.

Lenny gave her an apologetic look and Lucy
shook her head subtly, not wanting to make a big deal out of it.
They should be able to be around one another, they were adults now,
not headstrong teenagers. Even if Blake insisted on acting like
it.

They arrived at the pristine beach. Sway,
Blake and Chad set up some chairs and umbrellas for the ladies and
unloaded the coolers, blankets and towels before shedding their
shirts and heading for the water.

Kendra pulled a book out of her bag and
parked herself a few yards away. It looked like she had picked the
perfect location to be able to watch everyone at once, and Lucy
smiled at how unassuming that girl could be. Chad had tried his
hardest to flirt with her the whole drive over, but she never
responded. It was probably for the best, Chad had been spending
time with Sway and they each only seemed to encourage the other's
bad behavior.

Lenny took off her shorts and tank,
revealing a brilliant, sky blue bikini that made her eyes pop. Lucy
was suddenly self-conscious next to the breathtaking blonde and
wondered if she should keep her clothes on instead.