In Your Honor (9 page)

Lenny nodded along. She understood how
difficult it could be to find your place in this tightly knit
family. But Kendra seemed to be doing just fine, it was her own
self-doubt that stood in the way.

“
You're doing a good job,
even if it doesn't feel like it.” Lenny smiled encouragingly. “It's
only the first week, it can take some time getting used to
everyone's personalities.”

“
I know.” Kendra closed
her eyes and took a slight break from her anxiety. “I just... I
want to do a good job. I want to finally finish something and be
proud of the work I put into it. Does that make sense?”

“
Absolutely,” Lenny nodded
in understanding. “I know this is out of your element and I commend
you for taking on this very difficult and dysfunctional family. But
I think that you'll find out a lot about yourself during this tour.
Stick with it and don't give up. The guys think you're doing a
great job, even if they show it poorly.”

Kendra's doubt seemed to ease slightly
and she even smiled a little. “Thanks, Lenny.”

“
Don't worry about the
Blake thing. I think he and I need to have a little talk anyway, so
I'll take care of that.” Lenny pursed her lips, remembering the
last time Blake had gone off grid.

“
Don't be too hard on
him.” Kendra worried her lip. “He looked so sad.”

Lenny tried to not let her concern
show as she stood and Kendra joined her. “It's my job as the big
sister to keep tabs on him. I'm glad you came to me about
it.”

Kendra smiled sweetly and then ducked
her head as she went back to her duties.

Lenny pinched the bridge of her nose
and lowered her head in thought. Blake. Luke had filled her in on
the basics, but she knew there was more to it. The band was
circling the wagons, and it wasn't like them to be so secretive.
And he hadn't come back to the buses last night? Lenny was
definitely going to talk to him.

***

Blake's head ached. He crawled into
his bunk and drew the curtain, enveloping himself in darkness. But
sleep wouldn't come. He just stared into the black, too many
thoughts swirling in his head, making it impossible for him to let
go and relax.

He'd woken up that morning alone after
having fallen asleep with Lucy in his arms. He might as well have
drained a bottle of Jameson on the riverbank with the way that girl
went to his head. The morning-after hangover from Lucy was just as
potent and horrible. She had left without saying goodbye, and he
wondered if he would ever see her again. The long walk back to the
buses had done nothing to clear his head, and he was thankful that
Kendra wasn't going to rat him out to Carl. He didn't want to deal
with that shit storm just yet.

He heard someone enter the bus and
held his breath, waiting to see if they would call for him or not.
He knew he wouldn't get away with disappearing last night without
some questions being asked. He expected Luke to use his actions as
the reason to pull the plug on Taylor Stevens. Blake hoped to God
that didn't happen. He didn't need any more reasons to hate
himself.

The curtain to his bunk drew back and
he was actually relieved to see it was Lenny. She didn't say
anything. Well, he'd rather deal with Lenny than Carl. He rolled
out of the bunk and she followed him to the back lounge where she
closed the door.

“
Is she coming with us?”
Lenny asked gently, and Blake noticed for the first time the
worried expression she wore.

He settled onto the wide couch and
slouched against the armrest. Lenny remained standing.

“
I don't know.” He
shrugged. “I told her that if she did, I would stay away from her.”
He didn't know how much Luke had told her, so he was going to
assume she knew all of it.

“
Can you really do that?”
She arched a disbelieving eyebrow.

That was the real question, wasn't it?
It was one Blake hadn't been able to answer yet either. “I want to
say yes.” He swallowed hard. “But she's... I don't know...” He
rubbed the top of his thighs with his palms, trying to dry the
sweat.

“
She's important to you,”
Lenny finished, understanding in her tone.

“
At one time, Lenny... she
was my everything.” His throat started to close and he wondered why
he was confessing this to her. Probably because he knew he could
trust her. The sister he'd never had. The regrets he had with Lucy
were becoming too great to keep inside. It hurt too
much.

“
What happened in Virginia
Beach last year?” Lenny asked softly.

Blake didn't expect that question, but
it made sense. That was the night Lenny had had to literally carry
him out of a bar because he was falling-down drunk. He hadn't
thought she'd made the connection. He should have known
better.

“
It was her wedding day...
or it was supposed to be.” He looked down at his hands, ashamed at
his own behavior. That day had been hard. He hadn't felt that
helpless in a long time.

“
What do you mean?” Lenny
asked.

“
She was supposed to get
married to this rich asshole and move to Tulsa. I couldn't handle
being sober and knowing she was promising forever to someone else.”
He snorted. “But she's not married.”

“
What happened?” Lenny's
face was genuinely interested, concerned, making Blake feel safe.
Like he could talk about it and someone might get it.
Finally.

“
I don't know.” He rubbed
the back of his neck with his hand. “Yes, before you ask, I was
with her all night. No, I didn't ask her any of the questions that
I'm dying to have the answers to.” He dropped his hand back to his
lap and leaned his head against the tinted window. “I just... held
her.” All night.

“
Oh, Blake.” Lenny's
compassion was going to send him over the edge. He could feel the
desperation clawing at his insides and he swallowed it back down.
He wasn't going to cry. He refused.

“
I don't think she's
coming, which is what really hurts because she's really talented,
Lenny.” His brows pulled together. “And I can't help but think it's
all my fault. If I had treated her better, or maybe if I'd never
known her... she'd be living the life she always hoped to. The life
she was supposed to...”

He destroyed every beautiful thing he
touched.

“
What if that's not the
case?” Lenny's tone changed slightly, and Blake frowned at her. She
nodded her head at the window behind him. He turned to look, hoping
it wasn't his imagination.

Lucy was pulling luggage out of her
GTO and Kendra was carrying it to the red bus. Blake's chest
constricted as he watched.

She was here. She was coming with
them.

He swung his eyes back to Lenny and
she quickly laid her hand on his knee, apprehension coloring her
features.

“
Lenny, I...” He wanted to
say so much more, but she nodded in understanding.

“
I've got your back,
Blake. Just don't do anything stupid,” Lenny warned
carefully.

“
How should I react?
Should I go talk to her?” Blake was suddenly very nervous. Lucky
was coming on the road with him. He was going to get to see her
every day. Hear her play again. It was... surreal.

“
Yeah, you should be
friendly.” Lenny seemed to hesitate. “But keep it cool. You can do
that, right?”

“
Yeah...” Blake rubbed his
hands on his pants again as Lenny opened the door to the lounge and
they walked through the bus. He released one final, cleansing
breath before putting on his game face.

***

So, she would be sharing a
bus with three dudes that she only kind of knew.
This should be fun.

Lucy kept her beloved guitar with her
instead of stowing it with the other equipment. She chose a bunk
and tried to familiarize herself with the layout of the vehicle. It
was bigger than she thought it would be. And far more glamorous
than she expected for her first time on the road. But that was DBS
being overly accommodating.

She went back outside and
found Blake waiting for her at the bottom of the steps with a
pretty blonde woman.
So much for staying
away.
His face was blank, sunglasses
firmly in place. Too cool for school.

“
I wanted to welcome you
to the tour,” he said, sticking out his hand. It was almost painful
that this is what they were reduced to, practically strangers. At
best, polite acquaintances.

“
Thanks, Blake.” She took
his hand and tried to ignore the way his skin felt against hers. It
was always new, and always startling. She let go quickly and looked
at the blonde.

“
I'm Lenny Casey,” she
introduced herself with a warm smile, and Lucy relaxed slightly.
She had been a little fearful that maybe this was Blake's
girlfriend, and that would have made this whole encounter even more
awkward. “You must be Lucy Newton.”

“
That's the rumor.” Lucy
shook Lenny's hand and smiled when Lenny smirked at her
reply.

“
It'll be nice to have
another girl around. The testosterone around here can get a little
pungent.” Lenny's dark blue eyes shone playfully and Lucy found
herself drawn to the tall beauty. Maybe this tour wouldn't be quite
as uncomfortable as she had feared.

“
I guess I figured the
groupies would help balance that out.” Lucy wasn't stupid. Her
father had told her enough for her to know how it worked on the
road.

“
Nah, I have a special
groupie repellent.” Lenny winked and Lucy laughed. “No groupies
allowed. Although,” Lenny made a face, “that goes for you
too.”

Lucy grinned, liking Lenny more and
more. “That won't be an issue. I seem to have a built-in repellent
of my own.”

Lenny looked over quickly
at Blake, and Lucy realized she knew their history. His jaw was
working under his skin and she resisted the urge to reach out and
touch it like she used to.
Well, that got
awkward fast.

“
I have to get back to
sound check, but welcome to the tour, Lucy.” Lenny smiled again and
gave a look to Blake that could only come from an older sister.
Lucy fought to hide her amusement.

Blake stood in front of her silently
for a few minutes and Lucy wasn't sure if she should say something
or walk away.

“
I'm glad you decided to
come.” His voice was flat, his face expressionless.

“
I want to be clear about
something.” Lucy stuck her hands in her pockets and faced him
directly. “I'm not here for you. I'm here because Taylor is my
friend.”

“
I know.” He was so stoic
that she was taken aback. Where was the sarcastic comeback? Where
was the belligerent attitude that she knew so well from
him?

“
And you promised...” Lucy
didn't finish the sentence because she actually didn't want to
remind him. As much trouble as they caused one another, she still
wanted him around. She wanted to see him and be near him. Even if
it was the worst idea in the world.

“
I'll stay away.” He
paused, like there was more to say, but instead he nodded at her
and walked away.

She watched his back and wondered if
she was doing the right thing. How long could a storm be in stasis
before lightning struck? Would they survive it and come out better
on the other side? Or would they both be destroyed by their own
recklessness?

The first couple of days on the road, Lucy
was too busy to even notice that Blake wasn't around. The nonstop
movement of the tour took her breath away. She wasn't as
overwhelmed as she had feared she would be, but it was still vastly
different from her normal day-to-day life back home.

She missed her dad. And the diner. And the
predictability of her routine. But the thrill of being onstage and
performing her heart out nearly every night was a decent enough
trade-off. She'd known she was going to get homesick, she just
hadn't expected it so soon was all.

Lenny seemed to sense her loneliness and had
started to invite her along on different excursions. Lucy went
along gratefully, needing the distraction. The long hours on the
bus surrounded by only Taylor, Chad and Stuart were great for
writing music, practicing, and poop jokes, but Lucy couldn't
survive on that. She needed real human interaction. And Lenny
provided that, along with the occasional adventure.

Lucy was only a little surprised at their
fast-formed friendship. She enjoyed Lenny's forthrightness and lack
of fear. It made Lucy feel braver and more important than she was.
And Lenny seemed to think that Lucy was hilarious, so they got
along quite well.

“
When we get to New York, I have to
meet a friend and I want you to come with,” Lenny said as she
licked the whipped topping off of the top of her mocha. It had
become their habit to find a coffee shop in every town they parked
in and order the biggest, hottest mocha they could find while they
planned what to do next. The sugar rush was also a great
bonus.

“
Okay,” Lucy agreed easily. “Are they
famous?” she asked curiously. Lenny never name-dropped, but it was
common knowledge she had access to some pretty exclusive circles of
celebrities and athletes.