In Your Honor (7 page)

Taylor approached the microphone.
“Thank y'all for coming out tonight.” He was obviously not a
showboat. Just a regular guy. But Luke was intrigued.

The band began their first song and
Luke went from being intrigued to blown away. The style was based
in Southern Rock but held hints of old blues and a touch of punk.
It was unique, to say the least. Song bled into song and the crowd
responded to each one with increasing appreciation. Taylor had a
powerful stage presence and easily manipulated the audience, taking
them high on rock and roll and bringing them back with a soft
melody.

When they switched to a Johnny Cash
cover and Lucy sang June's part, Luke got chills. He hadn't heard
Lucy sing in a while, and she had gotten better with time. Her
father, being the legend that he was, had no doubt passed his
talent on to her. Her playing was flawless and the crowd ate it up.
They were obviously proud of their homegrown girl.

That's when Luke felt the heartburn
start. He loved this band, the whole package. It was exactly what
he had been hoping he'd find. But how was he supposed to ask them
to join the tour when it might make his own guitarist lose his
sanity?

***

“
It's obvious, Luke, you
have to do it,” Blake pushed. “You're never gonna find anyone who
even compares to that.”

“
I'm not comfortable with
this.” Luke shook his head, and Blake laughed in
exasperation.

“
I don't know what else I
can tell you to convince you. I'm going to be fine.”

“
Blake, I hear what you're
saying but I—” Luke tried again.

“
Dude, you're gonna have
to trust him,” Mike interrupted. “He's right, this is the band. And
we're all willing to put up with Blake's moodiness in order to add
them to the bill. That should tell you all you need to
know.”

Luke grit his teeth together and
looked at Lenny, who hadn't said anything. They had gathered
backstage to have an informal family meeting while Taylor greeted
his fans out front. Blake had been more than adamant about the new
addition. Luke was the only one who seemed to be worried about what
the repercussions of this decision could be. But then again, he was
the only one who had ever tried to tour with an ex.

“
I think that if the band
has voted then... that's a pretty clear answer.” Lenny bit her
bottom lip. Luke knew she wasn't just being diplomatic, she truly
believed that.

“
Okay, then.” Luke felt a
weight settle on his shoulders as he surrendered to the majority
opinion. If this backfired, it could be the last tour for them.
Ever. He looked at the faces of the friends that he had grown up
with, become an adult with. He didn't want to do anything else with
his life. He only wanted to make music with these individuals. He
hoped they would survive this next momentous step.

***

Chad the drummer and Stuart the
bassist had already left to go pack their bags and say good-bye to
their loved ones, leaving Lucy and Taylor alone backstage. She
still hadn't said anything since Taylor had told them that they
would be leaving day after tomorrow. She was trying to figure out
how to tell Taylor that she had to stay behind.

“
I know this is really
fast,” Taylor started, his arms crossed over his chest making him
look even more intimidating, even though that wasn't his
intention.

“
I don't know how I can
leave the diner and all that,” Lucy said lamely. She rolled her
eyes at herself and decided to be honest. “I have a... history with
one of the members of Double Blind Study.” Taylor's face held no
expression, so she continued. “I think it would be really awkward,
being on the road with him.”

Taylor frowned at her, and Lucy knew
she was stomping all over his hopes and dreams because she was
simply too scared to have Blake be a part of her life again. But
she couldn't do it. Her heart had been through the wringer with
that man too many times. She wasn't sure she'd survive another
round. She couldn't explain that to Taylor. Hell, she couldn't
explain it to herself. It was too hard.

“
How about you sleep on
it,” Taylor finally said. “Really give it some thought. I can
probably replace you if I have to,” he paused for effect, “but I
don't want to do that.”

Lucy grimaced. “Fine, I'll call you
tomorrow.”

Taylor responded by giving her a giant
bear hug and she felt the life being squeezed out of
her.

“
Whatever you decide,” he
said in her ear, “I want to thank you for everything you've done so
far, it wouldn't have turned out this well tonight without you.” He
released her and patted her shoulders twice before heading out the
door.

Lucy swallowed hard, she hated feeling
like she was disappointing him. She hadn't known Taylor for very
long, but he was the real deal. He was going to go far with his
music and for some reason he had decided to include her, long after
she had given up on her own dreams.

She picked up her old guitar in its
case and slowly shuffled out the door to where her trusty car
waited for her.

She leaned back against the headrest
and shut her eyes.

She couldn't do it. She had barely
made it through the show knowing that Blake was out there
somewhere. She couldn't go on the road with him. To have to see
him, communicate with him... want him... and never have him. It was
too painful, and as masochistic as she'd been in the past, she just
couldn't do it again.

She started the car and
planned on going straight home, but she was several miles out of
town before she realized where she was. She turned off the main
road onto a dirt one and pulled over to the side. She sighed
heavily as she looked out the windshield at the full, white
moon.
What am I doing?

She unbuckled her seat belt and let
herself out of the car. Her feet followed the worn path down to the
creek and she took a seat in the soft, red dirt. She stared in
silence at the peaceful water, trying to get her heart to shut up
so her head could think.

When she heard footsteps coming down
the trail she wasn't startled. No, she expected him to come. He
always did.

Blake took a careful seat next to her
and they sat together in silence for a long time. He brought that
fresh rain smell with him, and the air around him seemed to crackle
with the anticipation of danger and all the things that made her
weak.

“
You sounded incredible
tonight.” Blake's voice broke the quiet and Lucy felt her eyes
begin to burn. Their history, that she had buried alone when he'd
left the last time, began to break out of its grave and threaten
every coherent thought she had.

“
Where are your handlers?”
Lucy asked, not wanting to talk about the music.

“
I snuck out,” Blake
chuckled lightly.

“
Some things never
change,” she responded heavily.

Blake reached over, resting a hand on
one of hers. She wanted to stop him but she couldn't. Her skin came
alive with his touch and she couldn't remember the last time her
blood had been awakened so instantly. He slowly turned to face her,
bringing his other hand up to brush her hair back and gently clasp
her neck. Her heart beat wildly in her chest and she knew she
should stop him, pull away. But she didn't. He ran his thumb along
her jaw line as he looked from her eyes to her mouth. She flicked
her tongue across her lower lip in response and he leaned in,
pausing as his lips brushed hers.

“
Tell me to stop,” he
whispered against her mouth.

But she didn't.

Blake gently laid Lucy back into the
soft dirt, his hand under her head, tangled in her hair. She stared
up at him with her deep brown eyes that seemed to swallow him
whole.

He wasn't thinking about the many
reasons he shouldn't be here. He wasn't thinking about the promises
he'd made to his bandmates just an hour ago. All he was thinking
was that he wanted to be here, with her, always.

He brought his mouth down to hers to
kiss her again, deeper this time. Trying to convey to her how much
he'd missed her in that single movement. It had been so long, so
very long. Her body responded, her hands fisting in his shirt at
his sides and pulling him closer. He let his lips leave her mouth,
his tongue darting into the indent of her collarbone, then trail
over the soft skin of her neck and up her jaw line, one hand moving
down her side to grip her hip.

“
My Lucky,” he breathed
against the shell of her ear, then returned to her mouth to reclaim
it with his own. He felt her body tense underneath him but he tried
to ignore it. She turned her head to the side, and pushed against
him.

“
No, Blake.” Her voice was
firm, bringing him crashing back to reality. He sighed, rolling off
of her.

“
I'm sorry,” he said, and
hated how he always ended up apologizing to her. His heart was
pumping the blood through his veins forcefully and he shuddered as
he tried to calm down.

Lucy sat up slowly, her long hair
blocking the expression on her face. But he didn't need to see it
to know that it would have been too painful for him to witness
anyway. He ground his teeth together, angry at his own
selfishness.

“
I don't want to be the
reason that you don't join the tour.” He sat up and rested his arms
on his knees.

“
How is that even
possible?” She shook her head in disbelief. “You're not even in
town for twenty-four hours and we've already swept through our
catalog of greatest hits of intense emotional
overreaction.”

“
I know.” He hung his head
between his knees and raked his hair back with his
fingers.

“
We're no good for each
other, Blake.” Her voice soft. Gentle. All the things he loved
about her, saying the thing he hated to hear.

“
I'll stay away.” He
stared out across the water, his jaw clenching sporadically. “You
won't have to see me. I promise.”

Her short, sardonic laugh burned his
ears. “Like you did tonight? When have you ever kept a promise,
Blake? Especially to me?”

I never stopped loving
you.
“I'll do my best,” he said instead.
“I'm trying to be a better person. I'm just... not very good at it
yet.”

She sighed but didn't respond. Blake
wished for the millionth time that he could walk away from her with
no regrets. But all he had were regrets where she was concerned. He
just couldn't seem to get anything right. He screwed up being with
her and he screwed up leaving her. He couldn't win.

“
Please don't let me ruin
one more thing for you. I'll keep my distance. This is an amazing
opportunity and I think you know you should take it.” He swallowed
hard, hoping against hope that he could convince her to at least
give it a shot.

After several minutes, Lucy cleared
her throat. “I, uh, I really have to think about it.” She faced
him, and he saw the conflict clearly displayed in her expression.
It was one of the things he always adored about her; she wore her
feelings out in the open. The most honest person he'd ever
known.

“
We leave right after
tomorrow night's show,” was all he said. He wanted to say more, ask
all the questions that he had been dying to know the answers to
since he'd seen her in the diner. But, for some reason he couldn't
identify, he chose to wait.

She nodded and bit her lower lip, the
silence returning between them. Blake watched a fish jump and he
was reminded of all the nights they had spent in this very spot,
talking, laughing and kissing until dawn. He closed his eyes and
hung his head again. There was no going back to that.
Ever.

“
How long are you
staying?” Lucy asked, probably replaying the same
memories.

“
As long as you let me,”
he answered huskily, his throat suddenly raw with the hurt of
having to say goodbye again.

Lucy shifted closer to him and rested
her head on his shoulder. He tentatively put his arm around her
waist. She smelled like fresh honeysuckle and he inhaled
deeply.

If she joined the tour he would have
to stay away. Because she was too much for him to handle. And God
knew how much he loved it.

***

Triny Newton watched the red cloud of
dust barreling towards his home, knowing his daughter was in the
center of it. She was driving like a bat out of hell and he shook
his head. That girl always let her emotions get the better of
her.

He stepped off the porch to meet her
in the driveway, having a pretty good idea of why she was coming to
see him. The show last night had been newsworthy and he was proud
of her. But could he convince her to chase that crazy
dream?

The door to the GTO flung open with a
flourish and out stepped his one and only child. She was the
spitting image of her mother: long, chocolate hair hung in messy
waves with just enough red in it to make it look like she was
burning from the inside out; dark, expressive eyes; a smile that
could warm the coldest of hearts. Triny recognized the perturbed
look on her face and suppressed a chuckle. Only one man in the
world could get her that riled up.