In Your Honor (2 page)

He leaned against the wall for support
as he made his poorly aimed deposit in the urinal.

It really wasn't anyone's fault that
he had felt the strong need to get hammered. He had seen the
touring schedule and had immediately hailed a cab. He needed a
drink. He was going to need a lot more before he hit the road too.
He had no idea how he was going to cope with being on another
friggin' dry tour.

He washed his hands in the grimy sink
and looked at his red, watery eyes in the mirror. His normally
stylishly messy black hair wasn't stylish at all, and his shoulders
sagged like a man defeated. Maybe he could stay away this time.
Maybe he wouldn't have to stop at that godforsaken diner and order
a frickin' piece of frickin' apple pie. It's not like she'd be
there anyway. She was married by now, or so he'd heard. Living her
happily frickin' ever after.

Blake pushed away from his reflection
and made his way back to the bar. He ignored Sway's disapproving
head shake as he ordered another shot. If she was still creeping
into his thoughts, he hadn't had enough.

***

Sway made an obvious show of wiping
off the rim of the glass with a napkin before taking a drink of the
water he'd ordered while waiting for Blake. He hated this place. It
was gross and not up to the standards that Sway felt a reputable
musician should frequent. He looked over at Blake, who was back
from the bathroom and already downing another shot, and grimaced.
It was going to be a long night. Again.

“
How about we head home
early tonight,” he tried to suggest casually, knowing it would fall
on deaf ears.

“
Go ahead.” Blake
dismissed him with a sloppy wave of his hand.

No, Sway couldn't leave him. Not like
this.

“
Maybe we could try a
different bar at least.” Sway ignored the glare from the
bartender.

“
I like it here,” Blake
declared a little too loudly.

“
Whatever you say, man,”
Sway relented. He wished he knew how to better handle one of
Blake's 'episodes.' One tiny insinuation about his hometown or
state, and he went straight to the nearest bottle of Jim. Sway
wasn't even sure of the last time Blake had even
been
home. They usually
avoided traveling anywhere near his triggers, Virginia Beach being
the exception. He wasn't even clear on why that place had caused
Blake to go ape shit last year, it just had.

But the band always knew when he was
thinking about home. Thinking about her. He was pretty easy to read
in that regard. That's why Sway knew right where to look when he
saw the schedule and Blake wouldn't answer his phone. Two dates
this year had been booked in Oklahoma.

“
I have a great idea,”
Blake announced, cutting into Sway's thoughts. “Let's work on the
tattoo.”

Sway was already shaking his head.
“No, no, no, we don't do that drunk anymore, remember?” Blake was
already pulling his coat on and walking a little sideways towards
the door.

“
Fine, ya big girl, you
stay here.” Blake laughed at his own insult and pushed
outside.

Sway was close behind him. “C'mon, we
talked about this like a hundred times. You made me promise not to
let you do this again.”

Blake chuckled and put an arm around
Sway's shoulders more for support than for a hug. “Yeah, but you
always give in.”

Sway sighed. That he did. Fighting
Blake when he was like this was never the best option. He was going
to do what he set out to do, with or without approval. At least
Sway would be sure that he got home safe tonight.

The tattoo parlor that Blake had been
going to since he'd moved to Boston was only a couple of blocks
away. They wouldn't care that he was drunk. It wouldn't be the
first time.

The particular tattoo that Blake was
referring to had been years in the making. It was mostly dark
clouds and lightning that covered the left side of his chest and
wrapped around his shoulder and most of his left arm. Two wild
horses, their manes made of lightning and water, were screaming out
of the center of the storm. A small section of the clouds broke
apart high on his chest to reveal a star-filled sky. The colors and
shading were exquisite, and Sway knew that Zeke loved the work he
had put into it.

They entered the small establishment
and the girl sitting at the counter took one look at the two of
them before hollering over her shoulder, “Zeke! The rock stars are
here.”

“
Thanks, Tab.” Sway nodded
to the willowy chick with porcelain skin and traffic cone orange
hair that looked more supple than it should for how processed it
was. She smiled sweetly as she opened the door next to her, letting
Blake stagger through.

“
Does Zeke even have an
opening?” Sway asked, staring at the gauges in her ears; they were
way bigger than the last time he had been in here.

“
Yeah, it's been slow
today. Besides, he would make time for Blake no matter what.” She
leaned across the counter and ran a finger over Sway's bottom lip.
“I wish you'd let me pierce that pretty face of yours.”

Sway gave her a sideways smile. “I
love it when you flirt with me, Tabitha.”

She flashed a smile and he stepped
through the open door to help Blake into his usual
chair.

Zeke emerged from the back and
chuckled, rubbing his shaved head with an open hand. “I could smell
the Jim Beam from the back office. Let me guess, you wanna work on
the side piece?” He settled onto his stool as Blake struggled with
removing his shirt.

“
I wanna add the words
today.” Blake leaned back and put his arms over his
head.

Zeke raised dark, speculative eyes at
Sway in question. Sway shrugged. “I know, I tried to talk him out
of it.”

“
All right, buddy.” Zeke
put on a pair of gloves and started setting up his
station.

Sway took a seat nearby and Tabitha
swiveled on her stool to face him. His gaze started at her hot pink
heels, then moved up her long fishnet legs to her black shorts that
were connected to matching hot pink suspenders.

“
I always like the view
here,” he praised, and she raised a pierced eyebrow.

“
I wish you guys would
come by more often instead of only during the random bender.”
Tabitha tucked a neon orange strand of hair behind her
ear.

“
You and me both.” Sway
rolled his eyes. “So what kind of things do you pierce?”

“
We have this conversation
every time, Sway,” she chided.

“
I know, but I forget.
Indulge me.” He gave her a crooked grin and glanced over as the
tattoo gun started to whir against Blake's side. The words were the
last little bit to be added. Blake had held off for a long time,
saying that he wasn't ready to put that nail in the coffin quite
yet. Sway had to wonder if this would actually change
anything.

The shop remained relatively quiet as
Zeke worked. Tabitha helped a few patrons get scheduled for later
in the week, and Sway toyed with the idea of texting Luke to tell
him what was happening. They had all previously agreed not to let
Blake get this carried away again. Pulling him out of the black
hole he had the propensity to throw himself down was exhausting.
Not to mention depressing. But Sway wasn't feeling like ratting out
his brother. Not tonight.

“
You know,” Tabitha looked
over at Blake as she spoke to Sway, “my friends and I are going out
tonight. I have a girl or two that are kinda into the brokenhearted
thing. I'm sure they'd make him forget his sorrows. At least for a
few hours.”

Sway pursed his lips and thought about
it. “What do you say, Blake? You want some female companionship
tonight?”

Blake twisted his head to glare at the
both of them. “No.”

Sway grimaced apologetically at
Tabitha. “Sorry, gorgeous. Not tonight.”

She nodded solemnly. “It's too bad. I
hope he gets over her eventually.”

Tabitha and Zeke knew the story well.
The whole shop knew. Whiskey made Blake a talker and they'd all
been regaled with his tale of lost love and heartache. Although
tonight, he was more somber than usual.

“
How's it look?” Blake
stood up for Sway to inspect after Zeke had finished applying the
ointment.

Sway pushed his blonde hair out of his
face and squinted at the black ink scrawled across Blake's left
side ribs in delicate lines that seemed somehow appropriate within
the turbulent, roiling storm. He pursed his lips as he read the
words that stood out on the angry, red skin.

this Honored heart bears
Lucky scars

Sway blew the air out of his lungs.
“Looks good, Blake.” It did look good, but Sway knew Blake would be
seriously pissed in the morning. He always did this. Took it too
far. Sway would never understand.

“
I think I'm ready to go
home now.” Blake's eyes sagged at the corners and Sway could see
the fight in him had waned considerably. Maybe adding the words had
finally settled things in his mind after all.

Sway nodded and helped his friend get
a cab. The long ride back across town was silent and Blake leaned
his head against the window, staring listlessly at the passing
buildings. Sway went to exit the vehicle with Blake but was stopped
by his friend.

“
It's all right man, I've
pretty much sobered up now.” Blake met his eyes briefly and then
looked at his feet, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“
You feeling okay?” Sway
frowned, trying to decide if he should go with his gut or listen to
the guitarist.

“
No,” Blake answered
honestly. “But I'd rather be alone if that's okay.”

Sway looked up at the building,
knowing that Harrison and Mike would be nearby if something should
arise. He would text them and give a heads-up. “Right. Well, call
me if you need me.”

“
Thanks, man.” Blake
nodded his appreciation, his mouth maintaining a hard
line.

Sway stepped out of the cab briefly to
give Blake a 'man-hug' before heading to his own apartment. He sent
a quick text to his bandmates and tried to let go of the uneasiness
that wanted to settle in the pit of his stomach.

***

Blake leaned back heavily against his
door as it closed behind him. Nope, he hadn't gotten nearly drunk
enough. He would no doubt dream about her tonight, but he wouldn't
have the luxury of not being able to remember it.

He tossed his keys on the coffee table
as he took slow steps towards his bed. His empty, unmade bed. He
stripped off his coat and t-shirt and collapsed on the thick
comforter. He pushed the pillows onto the floor and rolled onto his
back. Bringing his hand up, he gingerly touched the gauze that
covered his latest marking.

“
Please be happy.” He
whispered his wish to the ceiling before passing out.

***

Carl winked at the waitress as she
refilled his coffee, and he took pleasure in seeing her blush. He
had been waiting in the corner booth for close to forty-five
minutes now and Lenny still hadn't showed. Not that she was late.
Well, she was kind of late, for Lenny. Ever since she had ceased to
be Lenny Evans, assistant extraordinaire, and became Lenny Casey,
super hot wife of equally hot rock star, she had different
priorities. Mostly, she ran on time now instead of a half hour
early.

He saw a flash of golden hair enter
the restaurant and he waved her over.

“
Hey, Carl,” Lenny greeted
him with a wide smile as she slid into the booth, her cheeks
rosy.

“
Hey, kid,” Carl grunted
in return, suppressing his own smile at seeing her. He would never
tell her to her face, but Lenny was one of his favorite people. She
was like the daughter he thought he would have had, had he ever had
kids. But he wasn't going to start telling people that, he had a
reputation to maintain.

“
Is the coffee good?”
Lenny asked with an eyebrow raised.

“
It's decent,” he answered
as he set his mug down and waved at the waitress for another cup
for his companion.

“
So,” Lenny started,
slipping her jacket off and leaning her elbows on the table, her
damn blue eyes sparkling, “what's this about? Carl Darrow doesn't
call without a reason.”

He felt his mouth twitch up on one
side; he had missed her. He decided to skip the bullshit and get to
the point. Lenny never seemed to mind his methods. “You want your
old job? I mean, I know you're coming along anyway. Luke bought a
whole damn bus for you. I haven't been able to find a replacement,
and we're coming up on crunch time.”

“
You haven't even looked.”
Lenny called his bluff and he almost grinned at her. “I don't know,
Carl.” She thanked the waitress for the coffee before continuing.
“It's a lot of work and I kind of wanted to spend some quality time
with Luke... if you know what I mean.”

Carl rolled his eyes and she laughed
at him. “I know all that. But what if I doubled your
salary?”

“
You know it was never
about the money,” Lenny chastised gently. No, the job was never
about the money. She was a highly successful snowboarder who had
run from her responsibilities, joined Team Double Blind Study, and
subsequently fallen in love with the lead singer and become part of
the family. It had been about a lot of things, but definitely not
the money.