In Your Honor (8 page)

“
What has got you out here
so early?” he asked, embracing her and noting the grass sticking
out of her hair. He plucked at a few blades and raised an eyebrow.
“You sleeping outside again?”

“
I have to talk to you,”
she said bluntly, ignoring his query.

“
All right, walk with me.”
Triny led her down the fence line towards the back pasture. She had
her mother's passion and his tenacity, which made for a volatile
combination at times.

“
Did you see the show last
night?” Lucy asked, falling in step next to him.

“
Of course. You were
fantastic, by the way.” He grinned at her sideways and she smiled
sheepishly.

“
Taylor got asked to join
DBS on tour. Starting immediately.” The words came out in a huff,
like she was upset at the sudden turn of events.

Triny nodded, waiting for her to go
on.

Lucy frowned. “He wants me to come
with.”

“
Smart man.” Triny gave
his approval, knowing that's not what she wanted to
hear.

Lucy spun toward him and he stopped
walking. “Daddy! I can't just leave! Who would take care of the
diner?”

Triny cracked a smile. “That diner
doesn't need you to babysit it. Mac can handle it just
fine.”

Lucy crossed her arms and scowled at
him. The diner wasn't the problem, it was written all over her
face. She could never hide her feelings very well and the
frustration, fear and hope were a tangled mess in her dark
eyes.

“
What's really getting to
you, Sweet Bit?” He softened his tone and tilted his
head.

Her eyes shifted to look at the ground
rather than him. “I think it would be a bad idea,” she
muttered.

“
Because of Blake?” he
prompted, grimacing when her eyes flashed back to his with fire in
them.

“
Yes, because of Blake!
Isn't that obvious?” She flung her arms out to the sides in
exasperation and, again, he was reminded of her mother.

He walked a few more paces and rested
his arms along the wooden fence. She joined him after several
moments and they both looked out over the open prairie. He waited
for her to calm down again before telling her what he knew he
should have said years ago.

“
You two have always been
like fire and gasoline,” Triny started. “You'd run like crazy; two
rebels hell-bent on changing the world. You always reminded me of
wild horses, couldn't tame either one of you, but you both kept
trying to break the other.”

Lucy huffed, “Exactly. We're bad news,
Daddy. We can't even be near each other.” She shook her head and he
knew she had been with him last night. It's not that they couldn't
be near each other, it's that they couldn't leave each other
alone.

“
Maybe,” Triny said
noncommittally. “Or maybe this is an amazing opportunity to follow
your dream, and you get to do it with one of your oldest
friends.”

Lucy started to protest, but he cut
her off.

“
Now, just hear me out.
I've been around a little bit longer than you and I think I might
know somethin'.” She smirked at him and he took a deep
breath.

“
Your mama and I's biggest
desire was for you to be free. To not feel trapped or caged. When
she died while you were little, our lives got a whole lot more
quiet. I know I didn't do as good of a job with all the girl stuff
as she would have. But I taught you how to stick up for yourself
and always do the right thing. And I'm proud of that... but where I
messed up was in letting you go. I liked you here, I was afraid to
push you away, so I let you hang around for way too long. But you
have a real talent. There is no reason for you to stick around here
when you can go do all the things you have always dreamed about...
Blake was always saying the same thing. No matter how bad you think
you are for each other, he always had your back. Don't make your
decision based on your residual anger with him. Make the decision
based on what you want for your future. Do you want to play in
Taylor's band, or do you want to manage the diner?”

Lucy thought for a while before
answering. He could see the gears turning in her head and knew
another argument was coming.

“
But ignoring the factor
of Blake seems pretty irresponsible,” she pointed out. “He's a huge
rock star now, I can only imagine how the ego has grown,” she
grumbled, rolling her eyes. “I thought he was impossible
before.”

“
Hey, I used to be a huge
rock star at one time and I can honestly tell you, he's just a man.
Like any other man. No more, no less.” Triny looked over at his
pretty daughter. “It might look like a bad idea from where you are,
but from my perspective it's an ideal situation.”

“
Why's that?” Lucy
frowned, confused.

“
Because as many times as
you went wild as a prairie fire, Blake was the cloud burst that
kept you from burning alive. You were more good for each other than
bad.”

“
How come it doesn't feel
that way?” Lucy asked, her eyes glossy as she struggled with the
truth in his words.

Triny put an arm around her shoulders
and hugged her to his side. “Because you both need to forgive
yourselves for the mistakes that were made. And I think being on
the road together will give you the perspective that you
need.”

“
You think I should go.”
She swallowed and jutted her chin out bravely.

“
Yes. Without a
doubt.”

***

Kendra felt the sweat running rapidly
down the side of her face and she wiped at it futilely. She had
finished moving Blake and Sway's things over into the blue bus with
Harrison and Mike. Then Taylor Stevens' band had shown up, so she
proceeded to help get their things into the red bus. Being an
assistant was way more physical than she had anticipated, and her
muscles screamed and protested at her every night as she tried to
go to sleep.

Tearing her ACL in her left knee a
couple of years ago, and the two surgeries afterward to attempt to
repair it, had effectively ended her dreams of dancing for The New
York City Ballet. As such, she had pretty much stopped keeping her
body in any sort of good physical condition. Her metabolism and
eating habits didn't change, so she was relatively the same size.
But her muscles had been weakened with inactivity and she couldn't
do the things she used to be able to do. After a week on the road
though, she was starting to redevelop her muscles, and it made her
feel good about how hard she was working. At least she had
something to show for it.

She was honestly trying as
hard as she could. She still didn't feel like she fit, but she was
learning Carl's habits, and Lenny's constant coaching was very
helpful. She got the feeling that she would never have survived the
year before, but Lenny had spent that year breaking the crew in and
making the system flawless. All Kendra had to do was trust the
system and stay on schedule.
That
, she could do.

Her ability to remain relatively
invisible was both handy and disheartening. No one seemed to ever
notice when she was there. She seemed to fade into the background.
It was okay, she knew she wasn't as bold and beautiful as Lenny,
and she certainly wasn't comfortable with a lot of attention. But
it would be nice if people weren't always jumping in surprise when
she had to ask them a question.

“
Hey, cutie.” The drummer,
Chad, winked at Kendra and she backed up a little. He set his bag
on a bunk and pushed his longish brown hair out of his face, giving
her a very charming smile.

“
Uh,” she stammered, her
thoughts on the next thing on the list. She knew she should respond
somehow, but she was completely distracted by the amount of work
still to be done. Also, she was not used to being
noticed.

He pressed an arm against the bunk
opposite and leaned sideways, eyebrows raised, waiting for her
reply.

“
Kendra!” Carl barked from
somewhere outside, and she snapped back into focus, hurrying past
Chad and down the steps.

“
Even though I'm adding to
your responsibilities,” he gestured to the bus behind her where the
other members of Taylor's band were loading their things, “you
won't be doing any overnights on the red bus anymore. Blue bus or
one of the crew ones. I don't know these people.”

Kendra gave him a small smile.
Sometimes Carl reminded her of her father so much.

“
Carl?” Chad came up
behind her. “No disrespect, but she'd be fine with us, we don't
bite.” He chuckled lightly, thinking he was being funny.

Kendra thought Carl was going to pop a
blood vessel, but he just sucked on his cigarette, boring holes in
Chad's face. He flicked the butt to the ground and directed his
gaze back to her.

“
Let me know when you see
Blake.” He gave a final, disapproving glare to Chad and walked
away.

Kendra pressed her lips together and
inhaled deeply. She hadn't seen Blake since after the show last
night. He hadn't come back to the bus and she knew that Carl knew.
No one else seemed to be too concerned about it, and from bits and
pieces of overheard conversations, she'd deduced that this was
Blake's hometown. So he was probably seeing people he knew. She
hoped he would be back soon so that her slight paranoia could be
put to rest.

She turned back to the bus, but Chad
stepped in her way.

“
Really, I hope you're not
scared of us, 'cause I'd hate not seeing that cute face
around.”

Was he flirting with her? Is that what
this was?

“
I have a lot that needs
to be done, excuse me.” She stepped around him and ran up the steps
of the bus.

“
Can I help you? It's not
like I have anything better to do.” Chad followed her, and Kendra
paused in the main lounge.

“
This is my
job
. I appreciate the
offer of help, but I would feel better if you stuck to playing
drums.” She kept her voice level and polite, hoping that she didn't
sound rude. Chad grinned crookedly and she pursed her lips and
turned back to the counter where she had left her
clipboard.

“
At least tell me your
name. Unless you want me to keep calling you 'cutie.'”

Kendra didn't understand her friends'
jealousy when she told them what she would be doing for the summer.
They had acted like being around a bunch of musicians was somehow
the most fantastic thing in the world. Kendra disagreed. She sighed
and turned back to face him. “My name is Kendra. Please don't call
me anything besides that. And you need to put a shirt on, this
isn't South Beach.” Then she left him on the bus.

She was embarrassed at her
forthrightness and she could feel her face warming. But she felt
she had been honest and clear, so she didn't regret it.

She breathed a sigh of
relief when she saw Blake striding casually across the parking lot
towards her, hands in pockets. Well, at least she could check “find
missing guitarist”
off of her list. She
moved to intercept.

“
Carl wants to talk to
you,” she informed him, then noticed his red-rimmed eyes and the
downward pull of his mouth. “But... I can stall for you if you need
a nap.” Blake's pep talk with her on day one had left a soft spot
in her heart for the tattooed rocker. She should probably notify
Carl right away, but Blake looked so sad. Like, unbelievably,
painfully, tear at your heart, tragically sad. As if he'd just lost
his entire world.

Blake gave her a tired smile that
didn't reach his eyes, and nodded his appreciation. She directed
him to his new quarters and readjusted her high ponytail. She
needed some advice and there was only one person she trusted to
give it to her straight.

***

Lenny was in her usual pre-show post
in the sound booth joking around with Greg, long-time sound tech,
when she saw Kendra's nervous figure approaching. She excused
herself from Greg's company and met her in the aisle.

“
What's up, Kendra?” Lenny
asked, seeing the distress and confusion all over the poor girl's
face.

“
I would really like to
ask you some questions,” Kendra replied timidly, like she was
afraid of crossing some sort of invisible line. Lenny directed her
to the benches near the stage so they could have some
privacy.

“
I have no idea what I'm
doing, Lenny.” Her small confession brought a smile to Lenny's
face.

“
Can you be more
specific?” Lenny asked gently.

Kendra took a deep breath and then let
it all out. She spoke rapidly, and Lenny had to bite her bottom lip
to keep a straight face. She told her about how the new drummer was
trying to flirt with her when she was much more comfortable being
invisible, the fact that she couldn't find the toilet paper that
Sway preferred, how Harrison ate more sandwiches than she thought a
person could eat in a day, how Mike had taken it upon himself to
rearrange the blue bus and it was upsetting to Sway. And, of
course, how Blake didn't come back last night and now he looked
like crap, and Kendra felt weird about not telling Carl
yet.