In Your Honor (38 page)

“
How was your week with
Lucy?” he asked, and Shane was positive that he already knew the
answer. The way he was being scrutinized, as if Blake was daring
him to lie, to withhold the truth.

“
Amazing,” Shane said
honestly, and relaxed slightly when Blake gave him a lopsided
smile.

“
She's pretty fantastic,
isn't she?” Blake agreed, and Shane had to wonder again why he felt
the need to discuss his future with Lucy with her
ex-boyfriend.

“
I saw her tattoo,” Shane
blurted out.

Blake's face was unchanged, waiting for him
to continue.

“
She hasn't told me
everything about you guys but,” Shane swallowed, “I've really
fallen for her, Blake. And I guess I'm wondering if I need to be
worried about... stuff.”

“
What kind of stuff?”
Blake narrowed his eyes.

Shane frowned. “I'm not totally sure, to be
honest. This is all new territory for me. I guess, you're gonna be
around her a lot and I trust her, I do. But I don't know you.”

Blake's jaw clenched and unclenched. “You
want to know if I'm over her?”

“
Something like that.”
Shane held his breath, hoping he wasn't crossing a line
somewhere.

“
I used to be that guy.
The one you're afraid of,” Blake affirmed with some shame in his
tone. “And truthfully, I'll probably never be over her.” He nodded
to Lucy on stage. “I mean, look at her.” Shane gave an almost-smile
in agreement. Blake watched her for another second and Shane
thought he saw a touch of sorrow wash over the man, but it was gone
in an instant.

“
Nah, man.” Blake looked
back to him. “You don't have anything to worry about. She's always
going to be one of my best friends but that's it. I respect the
place you have in her life. I just want her to be
happy.”

Shane didn't answer, he only nodded. He
should have felt better. Blake had said exactly what Shane wanted
to hear. So why did he still feel like there was something he was
missing in all of this?

“
I will add one thing
though,” Blake continued. “If you make her cry or break her heart
in any way... I will end you.”

His tone was dead serious and his eyes were
cold. Shane knew he meant it. But what Blake didn't know is that
that was the last thing Shane would do.

He looked him in the face without any
hesitation. “It's a deal.”

***

Shane walked her back to the bus after the
show. DBS was still on but he needed to get going, he had to get
back to Huntington Beach and it was getting late.

Lucy wrapped her arms around his neck and
hugged him tightly.

“
Is it stupid that I don't
want you to go?” she asked, her eyes closed tight.

“
No, it makes me feel
good. Maybe you like me after all,” he said as he brushed his lips
against her ear.

“
I think it's a little
more than that,” she confessed, her stomach tightening as the words
spilled out unchecked.

He pulled back and examined her face
carefully, cupping her cheek and touching her lips lightly with his
thumb.

“
It's too soon for either
of us to say it.” His velvety voice was low and
controlled.

She felt her lips part. Was he saying what
she thought he was saying? Or wasn't saying?

“
But it doesn't make it
any less true.” He bent to kiss her full on the mouth and she knew
she would miss his kisses tremendously.

“
When will I see you?” she
whispered when he pulled away.

“
Soon,” he promised. “I
have some things to take care of, but I don't think I'll be able to
stay away from you for very long. You probably won't even have time
to miss me.”

“
That's highly doubtful,”
she said earnestly, and he couldn't help but smile.

“
Can you do me a favor?”
he asked, his amber eyes soothing her worried insides.

“
Name it,” she agreed
softly.

“
Promise me that you'll
have a great time, that you'll keep writing and that you won't be
sad.”

“
That's three favors.” She
arched one eyebrow at him, trying to hide her smile. He was so good
to her.

He leaned forward, pressing his lips to her
forehead. “Don't be so stubborn, Newton.” His voice was rough and
she knew he was having a hard time saying goodbye.

“
I promise.” She rested
her head against his chest for one last hug, savoring his strength.
Oh, she would miss him dearly.

***

“
You're a whore. Why won't
you admit to being a whore, you know you are.”

“
That's just mean to say.
Why would you even say something so mean?”

Blake rubbed the sleep from his eyes and
tried to focus in the darkness of his bunk. Were Sway and Harrison
seriously having an argument in the hallway? Didn't they know
people were sleeping?

He yanked the curtain back and glared at the
two of them. “What the hell is going on?” he demanded.

“
Sorry, Blake,” Sway
grimaced.

“
Yeah, sorry, Blake,”
Harrison seconded, dropping his chin to his chest.

Blake rolled his eyes. He couldn't remember
why he'd disliked being an only child growing up. “Go to sleep,
dummies,” he scolded, looking at his phone for the time. “We still
have four hours before we have to be awake.”

“
Okay,” they mumbled in
unison and crawled back into their respective bunks.

The quiet settled around him again and he
started to drift back to sleep with the sway of the bus.

“
Blake?”

He sighed heavily. “What, Harrison?”

“
You don't think I'm a
whore, do you?”

Blake hated how that question made him want
to laugh. He really wanted to get some sleep.

“
Can we please have this
discussion in the morning?” he pleaded in exasperation.

“
Fine,” Harrison grumbled,
and Blake heard him roll over in aggravation. “I'm not a
whore.”

“
Yes, you are,” Sway
retorted from across the aisle.

Blake groaned and slipped on his
noise-canceling headphones.

***

Lucy pushed her thick hair back out of her
face and squinted into the sunlight. She usually really liked
playing outdoor shows, but it was unbelievably hot. She rolled her
shoulders back, trying to get her shirt to come unstuck from her
skin. The sweat was becoming a problem.

Blake gave her a friendly
wave as he approached Greg at the sound board. It was the cool-guy
wave that James Dean used to do, and Blake had picked it up
sometime in high school after having seen
Giant
at least a dozen times. It had
a combination effect on her. Part of her thought it was endearing
and got all sentimental, and the other part was just sad. They'd
been back on the road for a week now and she hadn't really spoken
to him. Not that they were avoiding each other—she saw him in
passing and they had had small amounts of chit chat here and there.
But no real conversations. Not like they used to.

Not since she'd spent the week with
Shane.

That was probably how these things go, she
speculated. They were just friends after all, and the closer she
got to Shane, the more Blake would fade into the background. That
was the healthy evolution of their relationship and it made sense.
But it also caused a tiny spark of panic to settle in her
stomach.

She tried to push it away, ignore it. Tell
it to shut up. She had no reason to hold onto Blake, even if it was
only in her head. Was it the very real possibility that she could
end up being with Shane for the long haul that had her on edge?
Yes, that had to be it.

She missed Shane. He was in New York now,
being important and she was proud of him. But she wished she could
see him more often than every couple of weeks. The nightly phone
calls helped, but nothing could truly compare to being held in his
arms.

She wrapped up sound check and was planning
on heading straight back to the air-conditioned bus to wait it out
before the show. This heat was ungodly.

“
Lucky, wait up,” Blake
called to her as he jogged to catch up.

She paused and waited for him to fall in
step next to her, trying to maintain composure even though her
heart kicked up a notch at his approach.

“
I was wondering if you
had a few minutes before the show to go over some
things.”

“
Don't you have sound
check right now?” she pointed out.

“
Yeah, I mean, when we're
done.” Something was different in his voice—no, in his
face.

“
Sure,” she replied as she
opened the door to the bus and felt the cold air flood out, “I'll
be in here.”

“
Sounds good, see you in a
bit.” Blake smiled and then jogged back to the stage
area.

That was weird, she thought. He seemed so...
invigorated.

Digging through her luggage, she changed
into a fresh tank top that Shane had bought her and a new pair of
shorts. She was not going to wear jeans on stage tonight. It was
too blasted hot.

Finally comfortable, she grabbed her David
Warren book and sat cross-legged on the couch.

It seemed like a few minutes but it must
have been longer before Blake knocked on the door of the bus and
let himself in.

“
David Warren, huh?” he
asked as he got a bottle of water from the fridge.

“
Yeah, have you read it?”
she asked, marking her place and setting the book aside.

“
Not really, I know the
guy though.” He sat in the chair across from her, cracking the seal
on the water bottle.

“
How do you know him?” She
felt her eyebrows push together and tried to ignore the little
rivers of sweat that traveled down his neck and into his shirt
collar.

“
Well, not as well as Carl
or Sway, but I've met the guy. He's cool.”

He took a long drink of his water and she
saw it again, the thing she couldn't identify. He looked like he
always looked. Like Blake. Torn up jeans, slim fit-tee with some
array of skulls on the front, heavy biker boots, at least a day's
worth of growth on his face, dark hair sticking out all over the
place. So what was different? Was it his eyes? Or his skin? He
looked... rested.

She shook it off and smiled pleasantly.
“What did you want to talk to me about?”

“
We have a couple of
really good, really trustworthy agents that we'd like you to at
least meet with.” He spoke slowly as if he were afraid she'd get up
and run out the door.

“
Oh man, Blake,” she was
already shaking her head. “You know that's not in my
future.”

“
No, I don't know that.
You're talented as hell, Lucky.” He leaned forward, resting his
elbows on his knees. “You have a gift and you're a natural
entertainer and I know, for a fact, that this used to be all you
wanted to do at one time.”

“
Things change, Blake,”
she protested solemnly. “People change.”

His eyes lost focus for a second and he
looked down. “Yeah, people do change.” When he looked up again, he
was back to business. “If you look me in the eye and tell me
straight that you have no desire to do this for a living, then I'll
believe you.”

She bit her lower lip. So that was how he
was going to play it. Use her own integrity against her.

“
Lucky,” he began, seeing
she wasn't quite ready to turn the offer down yet. “We'd watch your
back. You'd have control over your work and your schedule. And if
you get out there and hate it, then we'd terminate the contract. No
strings.”

Lucy rubbed her forehead with her fingertips
in frustration. Could this be a reality? She'd wanted to follow in
her father's footsteps for so long. Planned and plotted and schemed
for most of her formative years. It had seemed so far out of reach
that she had let the dream go. Buried it in a box.

“
I... I guess I figured
the time had passed,” she said quietly.

“
No, it's never too late
to follow your dreams.” The steady confidence in Blake's voice made
her look back up. She studied his face again, trying to pinpoint
the thing that was different. Something in his voice, his posture,
his mannerisms. He was the same... but not.

“
Where did you go for
break?” she abruptly changed the subject, catching him off guard,
and he chuckled in surprise.

“
I went to see Mama.” He
smiled at her. “She says 'hi,' by the way.”

Lucy was shocked. That was not the answer
she was expecting. “For the whole week?” she clarified, not sure if
she believed him.

“
Yup, the whole week. Saw
your daddy too.” He chuckled again. “Stop changing the
subject.”

Lucy narrowed her eyes at
him. “But I have all these questions now, you can't expect
me
not
to ask
them.”

“
We have plenty of time to
go over our vacations,” Blake chided. He sighed and stood up. “It's
almost time for you to go on. Why don't you think about it, talk to
Shane and your daddy about it.”

Lucy was flabbergasted. Blake had spent a
week at home? Had seen her daddy? She talked to her daddy every
night, he hadn't even mentioned it.

Blake was at the door now and Lucy stood up,
reaching out to stop him. He looked down at her hand on his arm and
she quickly let go, but his eyes remained on the spot where her
hand had briefly rested.