In Your Honor (39 page)

“
When will we talk again?”
She wanted to point out that they hadn't really had any time
together since they had gotten back.

He met her eyes and gave her a lopsided
grin. “I'll find you.”

***

Lucy didn't have to wait too long. The next
day, Luke called a mandatory band meeting before sound check at the
next venue. Blake was glad for it because he hadn't been able to
catch a break to see her since the day before. Being respectable
had its obligations.

The musicians settled into the seats of the
auditorium. Blake deliberately chose one next to Lucy while
Harrison sat behind him with Sway.

“
I'm gonna have to change
my number,” Harrison grumbled.

“
I told you,” Sway said
with disapproval.

“
Shut up,
Sway.”

“
Still trying to figure
out if you're a whore?” Blake asked over his shoulder.

“
I'm not, stop saying
that.” Harrison's face was turning red.

“
Who's a whore?” Lucy
turned around with a frown, and Blake held in his
laughter.

“
Ugh,” Harrison groaned.
He leaned forward and looked at Lucy. “You're an honest person,
right, Lucy?”

“
Always,” she confirmed
with a curt nod.

“
Do you think I'm a
whore?” he asked, his brown eyes pleading with her to tell him that
he wasn't.

“
Hmm,” she said, looking
thoughtful. “Have you had sex or debauched yourself in exchange for
money?”

“
What?! No!” Harrison
looked horrified, and Blake had to bite the inside of his lip to
keep from laughing.

“
Then what are you basing
this on?” Lucy questioned.

“
I called that girl,
Slappy, from Mordrid the Destroyer? We met up for some drinks and
we kinda made out a little bit.” Harrison cleared his throat and
looked into his lap.

“
Tell her the rest,” Sway
prompted, his arms crossed over his chest.

“
I've also kinda been
seeing this girl that I met in Myrtle Beach and they both call me
all the time now and the other day I got them confused.” The words
came out in one long string and Blake sighed in pity for his
friend.

“
Oh geez, Harry,” Lucy
shook her head in disapproval.

“
I told you, you're a
one-woman-at-a-time guy,” Sway stated matter-of-factly.

“
Well, you're not a
whore,” Lucy explained sympathetically, “but you are a little
slutty.”

Harrison hung his head in shame and Blake
finally let his laugh out.

“
I need everyone's
attention,” Luke addressed the group, and they all fell
silent.

Their fearless leader looked a little worse
for wear, Blake observed. But he'd been busy too. With Lenny flying
back and forth to New York for different meetings and the increase
in radio and television spots at this point in the tour, he'd
probably gotten very little sleep. Blake did not envy the man.

“
I have some exciting
news. We've been asked to fill in for a last minute drop-out at the
VMAs. It's in two weeks in L.A. and we all get to go.”

Chad raised his hand. “Can we bring a plus
one?”

“
Yes,” Luke nodded, “you
can all bring dates if you want.” He ran his hand through his hair
and cleared his throat. “I would really like to address the
volatile history of the VMAs briefly. A lot of artists have taken
this awards show as an opportunity to make some sort of statement.
We're rock stars, our livelihood is our statement, we don't need to
act like dicks that night. You understand?”

Murmured chuckles went around the group.

“
I mean it, guys. Let's
make rock and roll look good.” Luke raised his eyebrows until he
got mumbles of agreement and head nods. Then his cell phone rang as
if on cue, and he was off to his next task.

Blake turned to Lucy, who was very quiet.
“Have you thought about what we talked about?”

She snapped out of her daze and looked at
him. “Um, yeah, but I'm still thinking.”

“
Where are you?” he asked,
frowning at her faraway look.

She blushed deeply. “Nowhere, it's
stupid.”

“
No, what's bothering
you?” he pressed as the rest of the group got up and moved
on.

Lucy's eyes flitted around the hall at the
people moving around her. She bit her lip nervously. “I'm gonna
have to dress up, aren't I?” she almost whispered.

Blake felt himself smiling. “Oh yeah...” he
nodded in understanding, “that's not really your thing.” It was so
far from her thing that he was having a hard time picturing her
getting dressed up for an event of that magnitude. And then prom
night flashed through his mind and he could picture it quite
easily.

“
I'm gonna look like a
hick,” she blurted out, bringing his focus back and making him
grin.

Blake shook his head at her anxiety. “Don't
worry about that. Get Lenny to help you, she knows everyone. I'm
sure she has a team on standby for things like this.”

“
You think so?” She
visibly swallowed, but her eyes met his and he could see her
beginning to calm down again.

“
Yeah,” he confirmed
confidently, “and you should see if Shane can make it. He'll help
you walk in whatever heels they put you in.”

Her face eased into a smile at the mention
of Shane.

“
Thanks, Blake,” she said
quietly, “you're a really good friend.”

The day of the awards show came swiftly, and
Lucy still wasn't sure she was prepared. She'd taken Blake's advice
and had gone to Lenny, who indeed had a plan.

They had arrived in L.A. the day before and
she had tried on more dresses than she could count. Lenny finally
talked her into a short gold number with skinny straps, but Lucy
was worried about the length. It only came to mid-thigh. The heels
that matched made her a good four inches taller and she wasn't sure
she'd be able to walk at all.

“
It looks amazing on you,” Lenny said
sincerely, trying to get her to believe it.

“
I feel like a disco ball,” Lucy
grumbled.

“
Well, you look like a goddess,” Lenny
smirked. “What do you want to do with your hair?”

“
I don't know, shave it off?” Lucy
suggested helpfully.

“
Ha. Ha.” Lenny gave her an eye roll.
“I'll get you an appointment with my mom's stylist. He owes me a
favor anyway.”

“
This seems like a lot of trouble.”
Lucy was trying to think of a way to get out of going at all at
this point. “Maybe I should skip the whole thing.”

“
It's too late for that, Shane's gonna
be here tonight.” Lenny handed her credit card to the attendant and
checked her watch.

“
I'm trying really hard to not freak
out,” Lucy admitted after Lenny unzipped the dress for her to
change out of.

“
The girl who doesn't get nervous in
front of thousands is having an issue with going to an awards
show.” Lenny crossed her arms over her chest in
disbelief.

“
Totally different things.” Lucy went
back into the dressing room to put her jeans on. She couldn't wait
to get out of L.A.

“
I know what you mean,” Lenny said in
empathy. “I hate getting all fancy too. But every once in awhile it
can be kinda fun.”

Lucy pulled the curtain back and raised an
eyebrow at Lenny. “Maybe for you, you're an athlete. I lack certain
things that you seem to have in spades. Like coordination.”

“
C'mon, I'll buy you a greasy burger,
you'll feel right at home in no time.” Lenny ignored the horrified
expression of the sales clerk and Lucy smiled. She loved how Lenny
was never afraid to be herself, no matter the circumstances. She
wished she had that kind of confidence.

“
I am excited to see Shane,” Lucy said
as she delicately tucked the garment bag under her arm when the
clerk handed it over. This was easily the most expensive article of
clothing she'd ever worn. Even her prom dress had been a
second-hand purchase. And she never got far enough along in her
engagement to Frank to try on wedding dresses.

“
I'm so glad you two hit it off.”
Lenny pushed out the door of the boutique and got into the waiting
town car. Lucy followed close behind.

“
I am too.” Lucy couldn't help smiling
wider as she thought of Shane. She hadn't seen him in weeks and she
missed his lips. And his smile. And his hands.

“
And you and Blake are... good?” Lenny
asked as the car pulled into traffic and started them back to their
hotel. She looked out the window and not right at Lucy's face.
They'd been friends long enough now that Lucy recognized this as
Lenny's way of asking a hard question while trying to make the
recipient feel comfortable.

“
Yeah, we're great actually,” Lucy
answered quickly, but felt the frown on her face. Which only made
her frown more. “We're friends. The weird stuff seems to have
passed.”

“
That's good,” Lenny responded, but
there was a tightness in her voice. Lucy didn't want to explore it
because she was pretty sure it would match the tightness in her
chest.

What Lucy couldn't tell her friend was
that it was still weird for
her
. And she had no idea why. She
tried not to think about it too often because she knew she
shouldn't. And she was scared that if she analyzed it too much
she'd discover something unpleasant about herself. But then again,
she'd never had great results with stuffing something down. She
tried to deal with things honestly and as they happened. This was
unnatural and it made her uncomfortable.

They arrived back at the hotel and Lenny
hooked an arm through hers. “I really am glad that you're with
Shane.” Her tone still held a hint of apprehension and Lucy
noticed. “When I saw him in New York last week, all he could talk
about was you. It was almost impossible to get any real business
done. I think he likes you.”

Lucy smiled down at her shoes as the
elevator doors opened for them. “I like him too.”

Lenny pushed the button for her floor and
the button for Lucy's. “I'm gonna check on Luke and change my
clothes. You want to meet us down in the lobby in an hour? Luke
wants a whole family dinner type of thing.”

That meant Blake would be there. Lucy's
stomach filled with lead butterflies. She tried to shake it off.
What a strange reaction. She'd seen Blake tons of times, they had
even had coffee in the lobby together this morning with Mike. The
heavy internal ricochet had been there then as well. Lucy didn't
know why. And the not knowing was what was bothering her.

“
Yeah, I'll get changed
and see you down there.” She smiled placidly at her friend and
stepped off the lift when it reached her floor.

Sliding her key card into her lock, she took
several deep breaths as she entered her empty room. She didn't have
to share with anyone and she was reminded that this is what it
would be like if she took the guys up on their offer of signing her
to the label. The travel, the music, the excitement; it was
everything she had dreamed it would be. So why was her fight or
flight response threatening to take over?

Hanging up her garment bag, she decided to
take a fast shower, hoping to clear her head and maybe start over
for the day. She combed through her wet hair, feeling marginally
better. Dressing in her favorite pair of jeans and a dark purple
t-shirt, she began to feel more like herself again. She checked her
phone, realizing she still had a half hour before she was to meet
Lenny. Maybe she should try to fit in a quick nap.

A knock sounded on her door and she crossed
the room, looking through the peephole.

Blake.

Lead butterflies. They were heavy little
bastards and they were starting to bruise internal organs. The back
and forth in her head was driving her crazy. Shouldn't she be happy
to see her friend? Then why did it also cause her heart to twist
and choke when she had to remind herself that that's where it would
always stop? At friendship. Because that's the only thing that made
sense. It's the only thing they could handle.

And she was very much with Shane now.

The affection that was continuing to grow
and build for Shane was wonderful, sweet and safe. When she was
with him, he consumed her every thought, she was completely wrapped
up in him.

But every time she looked at Blake, she felt
like she was looking at home.

“
What's goin' on?” she
asked, leaning against the door and swallowing hard. She pushed her
distressing feelings a little further down. If anyone could see
right through her, it would be Blake.

But that was easier said than done.

He stood before her
wearing that stupid pale blue
Underdog
t-shirt that she had loved
and jeans with missing belt loops and paint spray down one leg. It
was like she had opened the door to her past. She blinked hard and
stared at his attire.

“
Lenny wants to leave for
dinner sooner rather than later and I volunteered to come get you.”
He gave her a warm smile and she absently offered to let him in the
room.

“
I'll wait out here,” he
said, glancing down the hall where some people had
gathered.