Karlology (17 page)

I
d
eci
d
e
d
to
g
o
f
or a wa
lk
aroun
d
t
o
utsi
d
e o
f
t
h
e zoo cos
y
ou can see a
ll
the stuff with long necks for free, as they are hard things to hide. I saw a
f
ew emus, a came
l
an
d
a gira
ff
e. B
y
t
h
e time I
g
ot
b
ac
k
roun
d
to t
h
e
g
ate, the
p
lace was o
p
en. I seemed to
b
e the only person in there.

This time the sloth wasn’t the only t
h
in
g
wit
h
its e
y
es s
h
ut. Ever
y
t
h
in
g
was as
l
ee
p
. I
f
e
l
t
l
i
k
e an
o
verni
gh
t nurse cree
p
in
g
aroun
d
a
h
os
p
ita
l
on a mi
d
ni
gh
t check of the wards. A chameleon opened one eye and gave me a dirty look. It reminded me of the look my dad used to give me w
h
en
h
e wor
k
e
d
nig
h
ts an
d
I
d
istur
b
e
d
h
is s
l
eep
by
g
oin
g
into t
h
e
b
e
d
room to nic
k
some o
f
h
is c
h
an
g
e o
ff
t
h
e
d
ressin
g
ta
bl
e.

The sloth that I saw last time I was here was still asleep.
I
n fact it looked like it hadn’t moved since my last visit. I
r
ea
d
t
h
e in
f
ormation. “T
h
e
y
l
ive in trees an
d
eat
l
eaves.”
I
g
uesse
d
t
h
is was
d
own to
l
aziness rat
h
er t
h
an it
b
ein
g
their food of choice. I used to eat KF
C
more often when
I
lived across the road from a branch
,
but I ain’t had one since I move
d
. I a
l
so
f
oun
d
out t
h
at s
l
ot
h
s are
h
a
lf
-
bl
in
d
an
d
h
a
lf
-
d
ea
f
, t
h
e
y
on
ly
d
e
f
ecate once a wee
k
, an
d
t
h
e
y
n
eed to sleep for 15–18 hours a day. I’m starting to wonde
r
i
f
m
y
A
u
nt
y
Nora is a s
l
ot
h
, s
h
e
h
as a
ll
t
h
e s
y
m
p
toms. S
h
e’s
b
een
b
un
g
e
d
u
p
a
b
it since
g
ettin
g
some new teet
h
, as s
h
e’s stopped blending her steak and started eating solids again.

I
went to see the chimps before the school trips turned up, as
k
i
d
s ta
k
e over once t
h
ey arrive an
d
bl
oc
k
everyone
e
l
se
’
s
vi
e
w
.
O
n
the wa
y
I
p
assed some animals that aren’t t
h
at excitin
g
. T
h
in
g
s
l
i
k
e ta
p
irs, otters an
d
g
oats are neve
r
gonna attract the crowds. I wondered if the zoo gets one
o
f these animals chucked in for free when it buys a crowd-
p
u
ll
er
l
i
k
e an e
l
e
ph
ant or an a
p
e,
l
i
k
e a two-
f
or-one o
ff
er. I
w
a
lk
e
d
p
ast some
b
ear
d
e
d
p
i
g
s. I
d
on’t
k
now i
f
t
h
is is
h
ow they’ve evolved or if the zoo keepers stuck the beards on so the pigs gain more interest. If I see a rhino wearing springy-
e
ye g
l
asses, I’
ll
b
e suspicious.

The chimps were awake. The older chimp was sat in a pile of straw scratching, itself while the kid chimps ran riot, fighting and chuck
ing the straw all over the place. The older one didn’t seem that bothered about them messing about
– she looked like one of
single mums you see on the TV programme
S
upernanny
who have gone past caring. But then I suppose when def
e
catin
g
in
y
our
h
an
d
an
d
t
h
rowin
g
it is norma
l
, at w
h
at
p
oint would the older chimp step in and shout at them? It is
o
dd how human they are, though. Someone told me about some mon
k
eys in an Austra
l
ian zoo w
h
o enjoye
d
smo
k
in
g
f
a
g
s. Visitors wou
ld
p
ass t
h
e ci
g
s t
h
rou
gh
t
h
e
b
ars a
l
rea
dy
l
it, an
d
a
f
ter a w
h
i
l
e t
h
e mon
k
e
y
s
p
ic
k
e
d
u
p
a
b
it o
f
an addiction. Maybe this is them evolving. For years we’ve dressed up chimps to look like humans and let them have tea
p
arties, so it was
b
oun
d
to
h
a
pp
en as a
ll
smo
k
ers
l
i
k
e a
f
a
g
a
f
ter a
b
rew. Some
p
eo
pl
e sa
y
it’s crue
l
to
k
ee
p
t
h
em
l
ocked up, but I thought they looked quite happy. It’s the same as how people worry about testing drugs on animals,
wh
ereas I t
h
in
k
it a
ll
d
epen
d
s on t
h
e situation: i
f
t
h
e
d
rug’s as
p
irin an
d
t
h
e c
h
im
p
h
as a
h
ea
d
ac
h
e, is it sti
ll
wron
g?