Learning to Forgive (The Learning Series) (27 page)

“What does it look like?” Anya holds up her cigarette. “Smoking.” She smiles seductively and makes her way toward the candle. The yellow glow shines on her feminine features and she looks at my gun. “You can put that thing away, you know. I’m unarmed.” She spins slowly in a circle. My eyes take in her tight black pants and white sequined top. She catches my stare and her smile grows. “Like what you see Lyric?”

Let her think what she wants. I still don’t trust this chick even though she supposedly wants the same thing I do. “Seen one set of tits, you’ve seen them all.” I place my gun back in my holster and head to the half bath off the kitchen. When I finish, Anya is exactly where I left her so I go to the fridge and grab a water.

“What took you so long anyway? I thought you’d be showing up before tonight and I’ve been here since yesterday. Oh and by the way, you really need to stock up on some food.” She walks over to reach for her own water and places her hand on my back.

I turn around swiftly and she takes a step back. “For one, that’s none of your damn business. Two, this is my house and you broke in. Three, how the fuck did you find me?”

“I’ve known about your whereabouts for the past several years. I knew if I wanted to piss off my bastard father before I send him to hell, I’d have to team up with someone he hates and is threatened by. So I’ve done my research on you, Lyric Devereux. And I have an idea.”

“I’m not interested in any of your ideas. Besides, that doesn’t give you the right to break into my house. I should just put a bullet in your head.”

Her eyes narrow. “You probably should, but you won’t. You want to kill him just like you did Uncle Vladimir after what he and his thugs did to you. Don’t you remember how they killed… what was her name again? Carly?” She arches a brow. “Yes. Carly. And wasn’t she pregnant with your son?”

“Shut the fuck up.” I growl.

She ignores me and continues to taunt me with my past. “Don’t you remember all the blood, Lyric? How he raped her and slit her throat? How several of the men had a turn with her, while she struggled to breathe? She was there all alone that night. Remember?”

I remember that night with fresh emotions.

“Damn it, baby. You have to stop this shit. You said you’d get an actual job before I deliver. I can’t work at McDonalds for a while after.”

Carly’s voice is behind me yelling, but I concentrate on cutting my white lines. I know her speech by fucking heart now. She’s given it at least every other day since we became pregnant. She doesn’t realize this shit keeps the roof on our head. I just snort every once in a while. I give her the same answer. “I’m goin to, baby, I promise.” I roll up the twenty and snort my way into heaven.

I feel a hard sting on the back of my head. “What the fuck?”

Carly stands there in all her dark skinned beauty, her light green eyes shining angrily at me. “You always say that same shit, you know. And I’m fuckin’ sick of it. You’re either running around with those idiots or getting into trouble. I’m fuckin’ sick and tired of living in this piece of shit one room piss bucket of an apartment. My son… your son deserves more. But it seems I’m the only one who actually gives a shit.” She leaves and slams the door behind her, which causes the framed sonogram picture to fall off the wall and shatter as it hits the floor.

“Great, Carly. Fuckin’ great.” I yell. I don’t chase her. I just let her leave. She’ll cool down like she always does and come home. I eyeball the white powder and decide to sit down and finish the last two lines, but my eyes land on the broken picture. A bad feeling sets in my stomach and fear takes hold. I can’t ignore it, even after I finish snorting, so I grab my keys and my gun before heading out to look for Carly.

I head toward her girlfriend April’s place. It’s late and dark even with the lights from the stores. When I cut the corner, I hear a few guys laughing and speaking some weird language. The wind blows and I smell it. Blood. The copper scent fills my nose. Then I smell Carly’s favorite apple scent. I break out in a cold sweat, and before I transform into something evil and unforgiving, I run.

With only that night in my head, I put my gun between Anya’s eyes before she can blink. “Shut. The. Fuck. Up.”

In the dim light, I see her face pale from fear. Her hands go up in surrender. “I’ll stop. Okay? I’ll stop.” I uncock my Glock and lower it from her head. “Now that you’re remembering why you hate that bastard, I want to tell you my idea. I know I can help you.”

“What did you have in mind?” I ground out. My mind still sees the blood, and I still feel hatred when I think of what that bastard and his brother took from me.

She crowds me with every step she takes in my direction. I know this game. I see dumbass girls playing it all the time at Jay’s. They seduce or try to, so they can get what they want. Her hand tries to land on my chest, but I grab it to keep her from touching me. She only smiles. “A union of immense proportion.”

“No.”

“Just think about it Lyric. If father thinks we’re together, on an intimate level, he’d run fast to get me away from you. He’d pull out all stops to get me back.” She winks and yanks her hand from my grasp before turning around to jump on the counter. She runs her fingers through her long black hair and eyes me. “And when he’s close, I’ll kill him when he least expects it.”

“Like I said before. No!” I grab my keys before heading over to blow out the candle. “Lock the door before you leave.” Walking out to my Escalade, I feel anxious and ready to get this shit finished.

The Port is lit up as tankers and ship workers come to work to make an honest living. Lou sees me pull up and meets me at the warehouse doors. “They here?” I ask.

“Yup. So are the packages. Most have already been broken down and separated.”

I look around the worn down warehouse with its sixty-gallon drums lining the walls and more being rolled carefully off the ship.

“Well. If it isn’t Lyric Devereux.”

I look to the back corner and see Cole Knight walking up with an extended hand. He’s my height and has a similar build, but I don’t wear Polo shirts and neat jeans. He likes to dress in the finest clothes because it’s what he grew up knowing. Me? I wore what I could find. But if my father ran the Knight family and construction business, I’d probably be the same way.

When we shake hands, we both squeeze hard before letting go. It’s a guy thing. “Cole,” I say and light a cigarette. “You bring enough trucks?”

“Fuck, yeah! Just look.” He nods his head toward a large opening and I see three black Mack trucks with chrome pipes, grills, and side steps. Bright lights decorate the three beasts and the purr of the diesel engines lets me know they’re ready to roll. The trucks’ long dry boxes showcase
Knight
in bold black letters on each side, and the ramps are down as some of his men start loading the shit up. “So who’s getting the H?” he asks as we walk to the back to handle payment. He has his man Pete by his side while Lou stays with me.

“Some locals. Most of it Lou is taking back to Mobile. Shit sells like golden pussy out that way.”

After counting the green twice, we head back out just as the last truck is being loaded. I see two blacked out Land Rovers parked close to my Escalade and the hair on the back of my neck stands up. When I look around the trucks once more, I see the red light coming a few hundred feet away and aiming straight at us. Without thought, I immediately jump on Cole and we land on the hard cement just as the bullet flies past us. Everyone pulls out a weapon and takes cover, but no more shots are heard. I crawl behind a large post and Cole does the same, both with our guns drawn.

“Pete.” Cole hollers and Pete automatically gathers up several men to go see who the fuck just pulled that trigger.

“That was either meant for you or me. But I guarantee they’re long gone. That was a fucking sniper and they have their exits already planned before a shot it fired.” I stand and dust off after I put my gun back in my back holster. “If I had to guess he’s under that dark ass water and his gun is too.”

“Well fuck.” Cole lights a cigarette and waits for his men to return. Sure enough, they come up empty handed. Everyone remains on guard until everything is loaded. Cole once again extends his hand. “Thanks bro. Your ass just earned a Knight’s trust. You need anything you know who to call.”

“Sometimes your lowest point is exactly what you need.”

~Blaire

Blaire

The past twelve hours, I’ve been here at the hospital either holding Janet’s frail hand or sitting in the waiting room. You’d think losing people you love as often as I have would make the heartbreak easier. You’d think that I would be used to saying goodbye. First, my mom leaves, then Benji, and now the one person who I could count on for years. Telling myself she won’t suffer any longer doesn’t help my selfish need to keep her here with me. But my needs seem to be the last on God’s list.

My neck aches from sleeping on the plastic green couch and I want a shower. However, I refuse to leave Janet’s side. I’ll stay here until she wakes up or takes her last breath. It’s the least I can do for everything she’s given me. Even though I feel like crying, I refuse to. I’ll mourn for my friend after she takes her last breath and not until then.

While channel surfing beside Janet’s hospital bed, I hear the curtain pull back. Trudy walks in carrying a tote bag. Ignoring her, I turn back to the TV. She hasn’t been back since her and Jax left yesterday. I was hoping she’d stay gone, but I should’ve known better. She’s the ultimate gold-digger and suck up. She loves to make sure everyone loves her, and she continues to put on some stupid sweet girl act. I’m the one who saw how she broke Benji. An urge to go postal on her ass sets in so that I have to grind my teeth together to keep me from making a scene. My mood is already fickle and all I need is one more thing before I lose my shit.

“I brought you some food.” My eyes stay on the TV even though I don’t know what the hell I’m watching. “I also brought some snacks. I know how hospital food can be and how expensive the machines are.”

Geez… does she ever stop being fake
. Screw being calm. My eyes narrow on her. “Do you think I need your charity? Do you want an award or standing ovation for your good deeds? News Flash. You’re not getting either from me. You can’t bribe me to be your friend. If you really want to make me happy, then leave me alone. You can’t change the past or the fact you took Benji from me.” My heart is pounding and my head feels light by the time I’m done.

She loses her smile and sits the bag on the floor. “I’m not trying to do anything, Blaire. I’m trying to help someone who I care about. I didn’t take Benji from you. I didn’t want anything bad to happen to him. He was my friend.
You
were my friend. And I think it’s time you told me why you hate me so damn much.” Her voice is stern and anger masks her face.

“You know what you did, so don’t play stupid.”

“No I don’t know, Blaire. If I did, I wouldn’t ask. I try to own up to my screw-ups because I know I’ve made them. I try to learn from them. So unless you can tell me why you hate me, I’m not leaving. I’ll stay right here and annoy you until you
do
tell me. And if you think you want to kick my ass, then let’s go at it. Because I’m so fucking tired of your attitude.”

“Fine. If you won’t say it, then I will.” Standing, I look her into the eyes. “Because of what you stole from this world. Not just a great person but also the child you aborted. Benji wasn’t enough for you, was he? If rich boy Jax found out you were pregnant by my brother, then you wouldn’t be able to use him for his money.” Angry tears start to leak from my eyes as my brother’s words replay in my head. “He would have been a great father, but we’ll never know because of you.” My grief gets the best of me and I fall back in my chair while sobbing.

Only the sounds of the TV can be heard over my weeping. My face stays covered and I try to compose myself, but I can’t stop sobbing. It’s too much. Everything is too fucking much.