Authors: Theresa Troutman
“Fine! Then you can read the directions,” she huffed, tossing the piece of paper at him.
Sebastian began: “Remove the test stick from the foil packet…”
“Can you just cut to the chase,” she growled.
“Yes, darling.” He casually leaned back against the sink cabinet. “Pee on the stick and wait fifteen minutes. A plus signs means we’re pregnant. A minus sign means we aren’t.” If Tess was this emotional now, how was Sebastian going to survive the next eight months if she were pregnant?
* * *
Tess peed on the stupid stick and placed it on the counter. Then she sat on the closed toilet lid and stared at the tile floor. She took the birth control pills religiously, never missing a day. They had been so careful—how could she be pregnant? She loved Sebastian with all her heart. She wanted to give him children, in ten years maybe, but not now. She still had three years of college to complete. How could she possible juggle a baby, a part-time job, and a full class load?
They waited an interminable fifteen minutes. She couldn’t take her eyes off Sebastian’s face as he picked up the stick to read the results. As hard as she wished for a negative outcome, in her heart she knew the test was positive. The smile on Sebastian’s face only confirmed her suspicions.
“It’s positive,” he announced, showing her the test results.
She shook her head in dismay. “I can’t do this, Sebastian.”
He knelt down in front of her and took her hand. “Yes, you can. We can do this together. We have Henry and Alice and your mom.” He chuckled to himself. “And Sigourney will spoil her rotten—although I don’t see her changing any diapers.”
“No…” she tried to protest, but he quieted her with a kiss.
“I love you. You’ve made me so happy, Tess. I know you value your independence and this is not fitting your timetable, but this baby is a blessing.”
God, why did he always have to be right? What was wrong with her? She was about to give him the greatest gift she could give and all she felt was a ball of nerves, dread, and fear. All she could manage to say was, “I love you, too.”
“You should see a doctor to confirm. These tests aren’t always accurate. When we know for sure, we’ll make plans. Will that make you feel better?”
She nodded her head in agreement and fell into his arms to be held. Right then all she needed was to be held by her husband.
* * *
A week later they were sitting in the doctor’s office, listening to the doctor confirm the pregnancy. The baby was due at the end of April. They must have gotten pregnant that last night in London. Sebastian reminisced that it was a particularly good lovemaking session. He was over the moon; Tess was on the verge of tears. He escorted her out of the office and put her in the car; once inside, she wept freely. Sebastian offered her his handkerchief.
“Shh, don’t be afraid. We’re in this together,” Sebastian tried to comfort her.
“You don’t have to carry this child for eight more months, Sebastian.”
“I would if I could, darling.”
“I know,” she sniffled, trying to calm down. “How am I going to do this? How can I go to class and keep my job?” She stopped for a moment, a look of realization crossing her face. “The semester abroad—that’s out of the question now.”
“Tess, they have hospitals overseas.”
“I won’t have this baby out of the country. I need my mom to be there when it’s time.”
Sebastian was silently relieved: at least Tess was going to have the baby. A small part of him feared she’d want to abort since this turn of events was most definitely not a part of her master timetable. He was so grateful she was willing to have the baby and he didn’t have to sort out an argument to persuade her to keep the child.
“Okay, we’ll stay here. There’s no saying we can’t study abroad our junior year instead.”
“With a baby in tow?”
“We’ll hire a nanny. I turned out all right being raised by one.”
Tess took his hand. “I love you for trying to be so optimistic, but realistically, it won’t happen. At least I had my grand adventure this summer,” she said, full of melancholy.
Sebastian took her chin and turned her to face him. “Never give up on your dreams. It doesn’t become you, Tess. You can have anything you want. You just have to believe.”
“Please don’t try to make me feel better. I’m confused. This is a huge, life-changing event that I’m not prepared for.” She leaned her head back against the headrest and closed her eyes. “I want to give you this child. I know you’ll be a fantastic father. I just can’t wrap my mind around the fact that I’m going to have a baby in eight months.”
“Do you want this child? All I hear you talk about is me and your willingness to give me this gift. If you’re having second thoughts about bringing this baby into the world, I need to know about them now.”
“Of course I’m having the baby—there is no other option for me. I’m just terrified about the whole experience. I don’t know if I can handle it.”
Sebastian leaned in and gently kissed her lips. “Don’t underestimate yourself. You’ll handle it like the strong person you are. Do you want to tell your mom?”
“No! It’s too soon. I can’t believe this is happening. How am I going to explain it to my mom? I’m only six weeks in. Let’s wait until the second trimester, please?”
“Whatever you want, darling.”
“I’m so tired. Can you please take me home? I need to sleep.”
Sebastian turned the key in the ignition and drove toward home. Maybe she just needed time: time to get used to the idea of having a baby, time to adjust to the physical changes to her body. Maybe in time, she would become excited about the baby’s impending arrival. All Sebastian could do was hope.
As the first trimester progressed, it was all Tess could do to get to class without throwing up on the subway or sidewalk. She was only two months into this journey, and she was so sick that she wished she could just lie down and die. Sebastian had been fretting over her and although he meant well, she just wanted to be left alone. She couldn’t keep any food down and could barely drink water without that coming back up too.
Tess had given up her part-time job at the Strand, and when she wasn’t studying, she was sleeping. Sebastian sat next to her drinking coffee in the cafeteria, but even the smell of the hot drink turned her stomach. “I’ve got to get out of here,” she whispered, standing from the table. Then she blacked out.
* * *
Sebastian reacted quickly and caught Tess before she hit the floor. A few of the other students rushed over to help. They called an ambulance and took Tess to New York Hospital.
While the doctor examined her, Sebastian refused to leave the room, praying they didn’t lose the baby. Tess was awake, but looked terrible: her body weak, dark circles under her eyes, and an ashen complexion.
“I’m happy to report everything is just fine,” the doctor said.
“I don’t feel fine,” Tess replied wearily.
“You have hyperemesis gravidarum.”
“English, please,” Sebastian jumped in, annoyed at the doctor’s nonchalant attitude.
“You have severe morning sickness. It’s unusual, but it will do you no harm. I’ll start an IV to get you fluids. You’re dehydrated.”
“How long do I have to stay here? I have classes.”
“The classes can wait, Tess,” Sebastian warned, taking hold of her hand.
“I’m going to keep you overnight and re-evaluate your progress in the morning.” The doctor smiled down on Tess and then left the room.
“Thank God you’re okay,” Sebastian said, brushing the hair away from her face. “You had me so worried. Can we please call your mom now?”
“No, I don’t want her dropping everything to rush up here. I don’t want to worry her, Bas.”
“Darling, I think it’s a good idea for her to be here for you.”
“Not yet. Can you please honor my wishes?” she pleaded. “I’ll take it easy. You can wait on me hand and foot. I’ll only leave the condo to attend class. Four more weeks and I’ll be in my second trimester. I should be better by then and we can tell her at that time.”
He sighed, placing his elbows on the hospital bed and looking into her eyes. “Fine, but I’m holding you to your word.”
While he was waiting for the doctor to sign her release papers, he picked up a copy of
What to Expect When You’re Expecting
in the gift shop
.
It wasn’t for Tess, but for him to read. He had to get an understanding of what was going on in her head and what was happening to her body. When Sebastian brought Tess home from the hospital, he confined her to bed. He’d watch her round the clock if it kept her and the baby safe.
* * *
A week later, Tess was ready to strangle Sebastian. She knew he meant well, but his doting on her was suffocating. She couldn't take it any longer. “Sebastian, I’m not dying. Will you please leave me alone for a while? Go have a beer with Henry or go down to the gallery. I just need an evening alone!”
Looking like a wounded animal, he conceded and gave her some space. When he walked out the door, Tess let out a long, slow breath. She drew herself a hot bubble bath and enjoyed the peace and quiet. Her mind wandered back to their stay at the George V in Paris and the amazing clawfoot tub they spent many evenings in together. It wasn’t so long ago, but how things had changed. She could feel her body changing. Soon, her clothes wouldn’t fit anymore and she’d have to wear those awful tent dresses. Tess wasn’t a fashion plate, but the thought of wearing maternity clothes made her cry.
She was emotional and felt as if she had no control over her life. Meanwhile, Sebastian was grinning like the happy bastard had just won the lottery. The baby should bring them together, but Tess felt it was pulling them apart.
* * *
Sebastian ended up downtown at the gallery. Fiona greeted him as he entered. “You’re not scheduled today. What brings you in?”
“Tess kicked me out of the condo. She needed some
alone time
. I thought I’d pop in to see if you might be interested in me working more hours.”
The gallery was empty, so Fiona motioned for him to join her on the leather sofa in the center of the sales floor. “Are you two having trouble in your marriage?”
“No, it’s nothing like that at all.” Sebastian hesitated, biting his bottom lip. He had kept the promise to keep quiet so far, but he was bursting to tell someone. Tess never came to the gallery, so he felt okay to share the news. “We’re having a baby, Fiona.”
“Congratulations! What wonderful news.”
“It is wonderful news. It just wasn’t planned and Tess is struggling to cope with the situation.”
“So you’re looking to make more money, with the baby coming.”
“I actually have a few ideas in mind, but I wanted to talk to you first,” Sebastian admitted.
“Let’s make some tea and we’ll talk,” Fiona agreed.
Sebastian had a good visit with Fiona, and his plans were falling into place. Tess might still be in denial about their impending arrival, but Sebastian was bound and determined to have a plan in place to take care of his family.
When he walked into the condo, the lights were out. He quietly crept to the bedroom and opened the door. Tess was curled up in bed, fast asleep. She looked so beautiful and at peace. He stood there leaning against the doorframe and watched her for a while. Yes, he felt his plan would do nicely. Tess might not like it, but he’d deal with that later.
Sebastian and Tess drove home to Pennsylvania to have Thanksgiving dinner with Tess’ mom. They entered the house and were greeted by the smell of a pumpkin pie baking in the oven.
Tess rushed over and hugged her mom, so happy to finally be home. The past few weeks, all she could think about was breaking the news to her mom. Tess hoped she would feel relief, with her mom’s support, and could find some speck of happiness about the pregnancy.
“Hello, Kate,” Sebastian said, handing over a large bouquet of autumnal flowers.
“They’re beautiful. Come to the kitchen, dinner is almost ready.”
After removing their coats, Sebastian placed them in the hall closet. He held Tess’ hand and escorted her to the kitchen. “How can I help?” Sebastian asked as he pulled out a chair for Tess to sit down.
“I just need to carve the turkey. Would you like to do the honors?”
“Absolutely,” Sebastian said as he took the carving knife from Tess’ mom.
Kate busied herself placing various bowls of vegetables, stuffing, and cranberry sauce on the table. Sebastian finished carving the turkey and placed the platter on the table. They joined Tess at the table and tucked into dinner.
Thankfully, her morning sickness was subsiding. Tess was content to be back in her mom’s kitchen, eating the best comfort food in the world. “This is so good, Mom.”
“I’m glad to see your appetite return,” Sebastian said.
“Have you been sick, Tess?”
Sebastian was grinning like a Cheshire cat, tapping his fork on the table. If it weren’t so cute, Tess would be annoyed.
Tess’ mom looked at Sebastian and then to Tess. Cocking her brow she said, “What’s going on, you two?”
Tess took a deep breath and then announced, “I’m pregnant.”
“We’re having a baby!” Sebastian exclaimed.
It took a few seconds for the news to sink in. Kate titled her head, her lips curling up into a smile. “A baby.”
“Are you pleased?” Tess wanted to know.
“Oh, honey—a baby. I’m going to be a grandmom!” Kate pushed away from the table and rushed over to Tess to give her a hug.
Sebastian stood from the table. “Can I get in on this?”
“Congratulations, Sebastian.” She shook her head. “I’m surprised. I take it this wasn’t planned.”
Tess blushed with embarrassment. “Of course it wasn’t planned. Do you think I want to take on NYU and an infant?”
“You’ll be great,” Sebastian reassured.
“You’re my girl and you’ll be a wonderful mom,” Kate agreed.
“I’m kind of hungry, can we go back to eating?” Tess asked, wishing to stop talking about the baby. Talking about the baby made it real, and Tess wasn’t ready to handle it. She didn’t think she ever would be.